Tomorrow would’ve marked our 9 month anniversary, and two months since we have been separated from each other.
I cant lie when I say I miss you. I long for you sometimes. I wish that I could relive every single moment we spent with each other so I didn’t take it for granted. You felt like you were my person. I cant say that I’m not absolutely crushed that you aren’t here anymore.
I continuously think that I’m getting better, but I just remember how much I enjoyed our time together and get wrecked again. I dont Even know if you miss me, and I don’t think it matters. I just fucking miss you. I miss that i was able to call you mine. Now I call you an abuser because that is what you are.
I am in a much better place with much better people. Yet I still feel so alone without you sometimes. I wish I could see your face again. I wish I could hear your voice again. I wish we could laugh on call for hours again. I just want it all Back. I miss you so fucking much. I really do.
It just hurts, and I think it hurts more that you don’t really miss me—assuming, at least. I know you, I really do. I know you’d never post how you felt, and how you’d always just dump it onto me because I was always there for you. I know that you miss me, or maybe it’s just my delusion telling me so. I dont know what I want, or who I want, or what I want to do. I dont know anything and just feel lost.
I miss you so much. Theres still a Little Bit of Love for you In my heart. I try everyday to resist looking at your account, texting you and begging you back, etc. I just miss you so fucking much. I do. I cant lie and say I don’t. I don’t miss you ALL the time like I used to. But I am still hurting. The wound is still fresh I suppose, but it doesn’t even feel like two months.
I just wish I could wake up and it was a dream. I wish I could wake up and do things right. I wish that you were right in the head. I wish you weren’t the way you are because then maybe things would’ve worked out. I miss you so fucking much. I really do.
I can’t be too involved in the past, or I’ll miss everything going on around me in the present. But I just miss you. I wish you were in my present. I love you.
It genuinely hurts to live
“I’m sorry, my baby, for letting you down on so many occasions”
“I only wished I had more time with you, and that I not wasted so much of the time I did have”
“I hope and pray I see you soon, my baby, like I always do”
I really fucking miss you, you know. I fucking hate you. I miss you. I miss you so fucking much. Im so hurt.
I’m so fucking sad. It hasn’t even been a month so it’s expected for me to feel this way. But it’s just so unbearable. I feel so hurt and empty. We took up so much of each others time so of course I miss you. I have to stop getting mad at you or caring about what you’re doing. It’s really fucking me up.
I want you to come back to me but I also wish you were dead. I just want you out of my brain. I dont want to accept that I miss you.
I really fucking miss you
I hate that I was so attached to you. I really fucking loved you and you didn’t even love me that much. I hate you so much but I love you still
I can’t keep doing this
RHAT MOMENT WHEN YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR LIFE IS NOW NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND ANYMORE AND WILL VERY SHORTLY MOVE ON WITHOUT YOU IN THEIR LIFE😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
This can’t be worse than hell. This can’t be any fucking worse than hell. I literally cannot fucking escape no matter how hard I try. I will end up a vegetable for the rest of my life if I try to overdose. I can become extremely severely disfigured if I shoot myself. I can damage my entire body if I hang myself. I can’t win. I can’t escape. This is such a sick fucking joke that I wouldn’t ever wish on my worst enemy.
My life is over
support Le artistry
You’ll never really understand how mych you meant to me
I’m sos Kerry things ended the way they were. I know I don’t need you in my lfie Andy more because you aren’t right for me and I’m not right for you. That’s okay. But that doesn’t mean I dont love you. Maybe not romantically but I still have respect for you. I fucking miss you so much sometimes. I wish you erent a terrible personI . I love you so fucking much not like actual love but oh my god I wish you weren’t the way you were. You were such a staple in my life. Maybe not a good one but I fucking miss you sometimes. You were one of my best friends.
I am listening to a song that reminds me of you while under the influence. It’s Eva by orgy. “What happened to you? You know it makes me wonder” is a line that fucking kills me. All of it does. Please just come back one more time before I lose my mind.
I know you aren’t good for me and I know after im down crying over this INKNOW I will be okay. I just fucking miss the memories and I can’t cope with them properly. I do still miss you sometimes. But I know im feeling it stronger because I am an about to start and also I am drunk and high as shit . 8 8i just miss someone making me feel that way. It was a unique fun experience most of the time . I remember this sign playing while I told you so much how I loved you. Oh my god it makes me sick to my stomach
THISBIS such a good song too. God im so sorry. I’m so sorry for fucking E very thing. I love you so much and sometimes I’d do FUCKJNG a nything to get you back, but not really. I’m just really emotional right now:
You were sk important to me and you are someone I could never forget. I wish I could forgive you but I just have to question why you would do that to me. It’s okay though because I needed to get this cry out. You were such an important person in my FUCKIGN lfie and I took advantage of it and im fucking sorry. I’m so sorry.!8 wish they this never ever happened I’m sorry I even got with you. I really loved you. I can’t be upset with our you now really. This is what I needed. I neeeded to let you go . But I still miss you and still love you so fucking much. Sometimes. Just sometimes.
I’m not backtracking in my progress I’m just reaching a little bitty mishap and that’s okay. I just t miss you so fucking much sometimes . I just hope one day I’ll get the clairty that I fucking desvere. And if I don’t that’s completely okay. I just want to get over this. This is just a little thing cuz im emotional and drunk and high as shit. And this song turned on. I don’t even know why I’m crying over you. You don’t deserve my tears. Things are okay without you but sometimes i do think about you . And I just hope the best for you because I just can’t hate you anymore I need to move on z . It’s okay. We will both be okay. It’s al gona be okay. It really is. I I will be okay
TW FOR EXTREMELY HEAVY VENTING I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. PERSONAL VENT AND INTRUSIVE THOUGHT DIARY
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