Why Have I Been In Sk Many Near Death Situations And Haven’t Gone Away Yet Why Do I Have To Do It Why

I hate being schizophrenic because I was straight up so paranoid I was pregnant and it added onto my breakdown yesterday I beat the fuck out of my uterus and now I’m cramping and I don’t know if I work right down there anymore

I want to die so bad fuck

I thought things were okay what’s going on why is this happening

I am giving this behavioral hospital a try and if it doesn’t work that will be the confirmation

Why can’t you just fucking suffer for once in your stupid fucking life why do I have to suffer what you’ve done to me why can’t you understand how fucked up you are

I’m so fucking sad man why do I have to be like this I can’t take it

I’m grateful for my screenshots of so many new music recommendations to listen to in my phone! I’m grateful that because it’s a holiday my mom let me have two tiny shots of fireball! I’m grateful that I get to wake up early in the morning to watch my favorite cartoon before bed as if im a child despite being 18! I am so grateful to re-try a drink I once loved, don’t appreciate anymore, then take a sip of my favorite drink to remind me again why it’s my favorite! I am grateful for my five senses to be able to view the world!

I’m grateful for being alive even though there are days where I am blinded by my traumatizing experiences. I love my life and I love myself. I am growing up and that is amazing! Everything will be okay. Everything will be so very okay.

Genuinely nothing helps anymore it really is over for me

Shit doesn’t get better I’m so sick of everyone telling me that my life is genuinely horrible I need to die oh my fucking god I’m so angry at myself I just want to fucking die

I miss my mom so much I can’t stop bawling my fucking eyes out