So… What If No One Can Die In Danganronpa?

I’m a fierce believer and defender of Smooth Brain Astarion (affectionate).

I love that, if left to his own devices, he ends up dead in a ditch. I love that this pasty menace of an elf is a walking disaster. I love that his brain produces one coherent thought per day, only to have it backfire on him later on. I love that his first choice in freedom is to unapologetically be the worst version of himself. Because it makes sense. 

That’s what abuse and trauma do to your brain—they fuck with it. 

And in Astarion’s defence, the man didn’t have to use his brain for nearly 200 years—it’s probably the very thing that kept him as alive as he can be; to survive 200 years of pure shit. 

And what use is his brain when his days and nights are dictated by someone else for as long as he can remember? When he has no say in what clothes he wears. When he doesn’t get to choose what or when to eat. When his body and mind aren’t his own, distorted by torture and hunger and self-loathing, forced to obey his vampiric master. Why use his brain when his survival depends exclusively on his abuser’s whims? 

Astarion could’ve come up with the most brilliant plan possible to escape Cazador or save a mark from their doom, but he never stood a chance of succeeding—which doesn’t mean that he didn’t get punished for trying (or even thinking about it) anyway.

Existing under Cazador was a game he couldn’t win, so why bother playing? 

And it’s only by chance that Astarion’s autonomy is returned to him literally overnight. It’s only natural that he’s overwhelmed by his newfound freedom. How is he expected to make sound decisions when he can’t even recall a time when he could do and say as he pleased? 

Of course Astarion is a walking disaster when he finds himself on that beach after the Nautiloid crash—and he’s fully aware of that! That’s why it’s so crucial for him to get on the player’s/other companion’s good side.

He’s self-aware enough to be so insecure about himself that he would rather trust a stranger’s capabilities than his own. 

Being a catastrophe of a person is part of Astarion’s character journey. Not only does he have to reclaim his personhood, he has to learn how to depend on his own brain again and I think that's such a painfully beautiful, important message Baldur’s Gate 3 sends. 

Because healing isn’t pretty. Nor is it easy.

You’re not alright the moment you’re free of whatever horrors you had to live through—and that’s ok! There’s time and room for you to adjust. 

And the moment Astarion feels more or less safe within his new environment, when he’s fed and treated like a person worthy of respect and consideration, his insights, skills and perception are crucial assets to the group.

Astarion knows his art and literature, and although his little remarks are unhinged at times, he's genuinely witty. Even his objections are, considering the circumstances, absolutely legitimate.

Personally, I love seeing Smooth Brain Astarion become more and more secure in his judgement the more Tav/other companions trust and support him.

Astarion is smart, his brain’s just been stewed for nearly 200 years.

🎶 What music do you listen to when you write?

i don't actually listen to music when i write. i have a fan that plays nonstop in the background tho. if i'm writing in a library, i listen to rock (mostly) or whatever genre hits the vibes.

Daddy Kink ⋆ Aizawa Shota

𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖐𝖙𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗 '𝟐𝟑 ⋆ Day Three.

Warnings ⚠️: Daddy Kink, Sub Bottom Male Reader, Dom Top Aizawa, Age-Gap (20/31), Semi public sex, Blowjob, No condom used, 18+ MDNI

Words used: cock, dick, hole, sweetheart, baby, slut, daddy, good boy

Fem Aligned DNI.

(Y/N) has been Aizawa's helping hand these past few months in teaching, when Aizawa was still severely injured. Now that the black haired male healed (Y/N) should've left, but Aizawa decided to keep him because it made teaching easier.

Class had just ended and all the students left, the only ones still in the room were (Y/N) and Aizawa. (Y/N) wore quite the revealing outfit, not really fit for teaching, so Aizawa decided to point it out.

"Your outfit is quite revealing." He said in his usual monotone voice, he checked (Y/N) out before quickly looking back down at the papers in his hand.

"I know, I didn't do the laundry and that was the only thing left. Sorry." (Y/N) explained softly, he was organising some papers.

"Don't let it happen again." Aizawa replied. (Y/N) only nodded in embarrassment, handing the organised papers to the black haired pro-hero. One of the papers fell and (Y/N) picked it up, when he bend over some of his ass cheek was revealed.

Aizawa stared with wide eyes, not understanding why he didn't notice sooner that his assistant is so attractive.

(Y/N) got up and handed the paper to Aizawa, who was trying to regain his composure. "Everything okay?" (Y/N) asked.

"You're shorts a very short." Aizawa only spoke in reply, then (Y/N)'s face got hot.

"O, oh.. I didn't notice.." (Y/N) tried to fix his shorts. "I guess I shouldn't bend over in these shorts, then." (Y/N) looked at Aizawa.

Aizawa chuckled in disbelief about what he was gonna say next, "Or maybe you should more often." (Y/N) perked up when he heard the older man say that.

"What?" (Y/N) asked unsure. "You heard me, pretty thing." Aizawa muttered as he stared (Y/N) into his eyes, the taller male took a step closer to (Y/N).

(Y/N)'s breath got stuck in his throat, his face turned hot as he didn't understand what was happening.

Aizawa picked up a pencil from the table and threw it on the floor, "pick it up." He whispered in a husky tone.

(Y/N) gulped and slowly bend over to pick it up, revealing, again, his ass cheeks to the older man. Though the one thing that is different now is that he felt Aizawa's strong hands on them.

(Y/N) was shocked, not because of the inappropriate gesture but because he felt attracted to it. He was turned on.

Aizawa began to knead (Y/N)'s butt like dough. "You've got a nice ass, maybe that's why you show it around?" Aizawa teased.

"N, no! I just forgot to do my-" (Y/N) started before getting interrupted.

"Yeah, yeah. You forgot to do your laundry." Aizawa mocked in a sarcastic tone. "You probably did it on purpose. Or you did it so an older man could take advantage of you, no?" Aizawa pressed his boner against (Y/N)'s round butt.

"Ah.. no.." (Y/N) mumbled as he pushed his ass back, loving the feeling of the fat cock pressing against it. (Y/N) felt himself tighten in his shorts.

"You like letting an older man take care of you?" (Y/N) only nodded in reply, ashamed of his answer.

(Y/N)'s legs started to feel uncomfortable as he was still bend over, "Aizawa.." (Y/N) murmured. The 20 year old couldn't keep himself up and fell on his knees, looking back with doe eyes to Aizawa.

"Turn around." The black haired male said. (Y/N) immediately did as told, now looking up at the man. Then (Y/N)'s eyes got stuck on the bulge in Aizawa's pants, (Y/N) licked his lips lewdly.

"You wanna taste it, huh?" Aizawa smirked. (Y/N) nodded like a sweet puppy. "Help yourself, sweetheart." Aizawa teased.

(Y/N)'s hands immediately fumbled with Aizawa's belt, he took it off and opened his jeans. Pulling them down with Aizawa's boxers, only so far that the fat cock could spring out.

(Y/N)'s eyes widened at the size. Then Aizawa took it in his hand and slapped in softly against (Y/N)'s soft cheek. "Go on, open your mouth, baby."

(Y/N) opened his mouth and let his wet tongue fall out, Aizawa stuck his thumb in (Y/N)'s mouth and opened his mouth a bit more.

Then he guided his red tip to (Y/N)'s tongue, moving his hips so the fat cock could rub against the tongue.

Then all of a sudden he thrusted in, (Y/N) gagged violently and tears pricked at his eyes. "You look like a slut." Aizawa groaned out as he thrusted softly into the mouth.

(Y/N) only gurgled something incoherent. Aizawa pulled out and laid the cock on (Y/N)'s face, it was the same length.

"What was that slut?"

(Y/N) only smiled lewdly as he licked the huge dick on his face, he took it into his hand and jerked it slowly before he took it into his mouth again.

His plump lips looked gorgeous around the fat cock, he bobbed his head softly as he gagged softly. He wasn't used to such a size. Aizawa's hand went to the back of (Y/N)'s head and then he pushed (Y/N)'s head completely onto his dick.

(Y/N) gagged, he breathed in through his nose, he smelled the musky scent from the older man. (Y/N) moaned and whimpered as his mouth was used for Aizawa's own pleasure.

"Oh fuck.. such a good little boy." Aizawa groaned out as he continued abusing (Y/N)'s mouth. (Y/N) held onto Aizawa's thighs to steady himself.

(Y/N)'s dick started hurting and begging for release. Drool was falling down at the sides of (Y/N)'s mouth, falling onto his tight shirt.

Aizawa pulled out, a string of saliva connecting to (Y/N)'s mouth and Aizawa's cock. (Y/N) was breathing heavily.

Then Aizawa roughly pushed (Y/N) onto the floor, ass up. (Y/N) moaned as Aizawa pulled his pants off and underwear, letting his dick spring out and hang between his thighs.

(Y/N) shuddered as Aizawa put two fingers onto his tight hole as he rubbed it softly, he spit onto the hole for lubricant and then pushed one finger in.

"hng.. oh.. yes.." (Y/N) moaned out, "Such a tight hole for daddy.." Aizawa said and (Y/N) nodded like a bitch in heat.

"Oh do you like that?" Aizawa pushed another finger in, now (Y/N) felt the sting as he was getting worked open. "Yes.." (Y/N) hissed out lowly in reply.

(Y/N)'s hand went to his hard and leaking dick, stroking it softly. Aizawa slapped his hand away, "Not yet, baby." A harsh slap was sent to (Y/N)'s right ass cheek.

"I'm sorry.." (Y/N) whined out. "What was that?" Aizawa acted like he didn't understand (Y/N). Then he pulled his fingers out and harshly forced his wet cock into (Y/N)'s hole.

"I'm sorry, daddy!" (Y/N) yelled out in pain but it quickly vanished and turned into pleasure when Aizawa started thrusting.

Aizawa took (Y/N) by his throat as he pushed (Y/N)'s back against his chest. Then he quickly put his hand over (Y/N)'s mouth, "Shut up, you slut." (Y/N) moaned at Aizawa's degrading words.

(Y/N) muffled into Aizawa's hand, he let go of (Y/N)'s mouth as he pushed (Y/N) back onto the floor, holding his head down as he fucked into the wet hole.

When he hit (Y/N)'s prostate the younger one jolted forward, "t-that spot, daddy! Please.. more.." (Y/N) whined out. His hands shaking as he tried to hold onto a leg of a table.

Aizawa chuckled and pulled out, slapping his wet cock against (Y/N)'s ass cheeks.

"Noo.. why did you pull out.." (Y/N) whined softly, he wiggled his ass.

Aizawa chuckled as he hit (Y/N)'s ass harshly, (Y/N) moaned out in pain. "Put it back in.."

"What if daddy doesn't want to, huh?" Aizawa teased as he rubbed his cock between (Y/N)'s ass cheeks.

"Ugnhh.. please daddy.. please, please, please, mhh.. fuck me.." (Y/N) begged sweetly, making Aizawa chuckle.

"Gotta take more than that, baby." Aizawa muttered as he pushed the tip of his dick in but quickly slipped out to tease the younger.

"Daddy, fuck me. I need your cock so bad, I wanna cum daddy.." (Y/N) whined out as he pushed his hips back, wanting to feel the fat cock again.

Aizawa pushed against the now slightly loose hole, "Good little boy.. so good." Then he pushed in, in one go. Going back to thrusting harshly into the wet hole, enjoying the moans and whimpers that were coming from the younger.

"Daddy.. oh god.. daddy.. so good.." (Y/N) moaned as he was used like a flesh light. Aizawa grabbed the hips so harshly, he was sure it was gonna leave bruises.

Pushing (Y/N) more to the floor so he could fit his fat cock deeper into the whining mess, when he finally hit (Y/N)'s sweet spot again the younger cried out loudly. His cock already dripping with pre-cum, but he was still not allowed to touch it.

"Yes.. oh daddy.. hngg.." (Y/N) whined, the knot in his stomach getting tighter. "Wow baby.. you feel heavenly, I might as well keep you as my personal fuck toy. You would like that." (Y/N) only nodded pathetically as he was starting to form words, all were just stupid babbling.

"Daddy.. daddy mhhm.. so.. so good.." Aizawa felt himself get closer, he twitched inside (Y/N) as he fucked deeper into the wet hole.

Tears started to slip from (Y/N)'s eyes in pleasure, the snot running from his nose wasn't helping at all.

Aizawa flipped him over as he grabbed his thighs and positioned them so that they were laying on (Y/N)'s chest and his knees at his face, "Daddy.." (Y/N) could only whine out.

(Y/N)'s hole was gaping and asking for the fat cock, Aizawa thrusted in again, making sure that (Y/N) feels every inch.

"Your hole is sucking me in, doesn't ever wanna let me go.." Aizawa groaned, he started jerking off (Y/N)'s dick. Pre-cum dripping with no end, as he synced his strokes with his thrusts.

"Gonna.. cum.. daddy cumming.." (Y/N) whined when the white, sticky cum shot out of his dick. It covered his whole stomach in white.

"Ah daddy, I can't.." His legs shook as he started to feel overstimualted.

Aizawa groaned as he shot his own load into his assistant, some soft thrust to ride out his high as both breathed heavily.

Aizawa pulled out and watched the cum drip out. "Good boy.. such a good boy for daddy."

(Y/N)'s legs still shook as the black haired man started to clean them both up.

After they both were clean and dressed they sat onto the tables in the classroom. (Y/N) looked onto the floor in embarrassment.

"So, how is the relationship to your dad?" Aizawa asked in a joking manner.

"Shut up." (Y/N)'s face got hot again.

"I'm assuming not good." Aizawa chuckled.

Akane therapy moment or sth

Fallout companions react to sole telling that they don't want to even lose them and then breakingdown. I need all the angst!

God, me too. As much as I say I hate angst, I'm definitely a sucker for it! This idea, especially, is super exciting for me since I feel like the Fallout 4 companions have a lot of opportunity for angst (I play through Nick's personal quest just to cry at the ending) Anyways, I hope you enjoy this one and it was worth the wait!

//

Companions React to Sole Breaking Down - TW: Mentions of Addiction and Suicide

(Includes: Cait, Codsworth, Curie, Danse, Deacon, Hancock, MacCready, Nick, Piper, Preston and X6-88)

Cait She isn't really sure what brought this on. Cait knows she isn't great at keeping herself safe or even having much concern for her own wellbeing, but she hadn't realised that upset Sole so much. Was it the chems? Maybe how she often charges head first into battle. Whatever it is, she admittedly feels guilty, not realising Sole cared so much about her. She isn't the best at comforting people, but she tries her best to make Sole feel better and reassure them that she isn't going anywhere. It may result in some awkward shoulder pats, but it's the thought that counts, right?

Codsworth It's probably not the first time that Codsworth has seen Sole break down. After all, he was the first living being they ran into after escaping the horrors of Vault 111. Still, this particular breakdown takes him by surprise, he didn't know he mattered that much to Sole. He's probably the best at comforting Sole, considering he knows them so well. Later on, he'll likely bring up how touched he is to know that he's important to Sole and promises he'll stand by them.

Curie She's extremely apologetic when she realises Sole's breaking down, at first thinking she'd done something wrong, before they explain that they can't stand to lose her. She understands where Sole is coming from, they're the most important person in her life and she doesn't want to begin to think what things would be like without them. She apologises if she ever scared them and reassures them that she's much more formidable than she seems

Paladin Danse He immediately panics when Sole starts to break down. Being in the Brotherhood, he's never known how to deal with his own emotions, let alone the emotions of someone else. He'll try his best to comfort Sole, but he definitely won't succeed. If he's still in the Brotherhood and him and Sole aren't extremely close - or romantically involved - he'll only insist that, due to his training, he's confident nothing bad will happen to him. However, if they're closer, Danse will go out of his way to make sure Sole knows they won't ever lose them, he loves Sole and he'd keep surviving so long as it made them happy.

Deacon He has no idea how to react at first. Sure, he'd been travelling with Sole for a while now, but he figured it was just out of convenience, since he was showing them the ropes in the Railroad. He'd figured his lying would've annoyed them by now and yeah, they were close, but he didn't know he mattered this much to them. He wants to crack a joke, but even he knows it's bad timing. Instead - because he understands how devastating loss can be, and he knows what Sole's been through - he actually does his best to comfort them, which he's actually good at, much to both his and Sole's surprise.

Hancock Like Cait, he initially thinks it's down to his reckless behaviour when it comes to chems and almost immediately promises you that he knows not to overdo it and if chems were going to kill them, they would've by now. He assures Sole that so long as he has them by his side, there's no way he plans on dying early, even though life hasn't exactly been kind to him in the past. Sole gives him a reason to keep going and he'd rather not ruin that.

MacCready Similarly to Deacon, he understands - maybe better than anyone - just how hard losing the person you love can be. The death of Lucy still haunts him, in spite of how much he cares for Sole, so he feels terrible that they share concerns he once had to suffer the aftermath of. He promises them over and over that they'll never lose him, no matter what happens. He even goes the extra mile and makes sure to be careful when they're outside the walls of a settlement, just to give Sole some peace of mind.

Nick Valentine He's better at comforting Sole than most, he knows a lot about their past and how they ended up in the Commonwealth, widowed and searching for their child. Besides, he's used to dealing with people breaking down in front of him - albeit, it's a little different since Sole means a lot to him. He knows he and Sole have grown close, so he understands completely why they'd be worried about losing another loved one. Nick will jokingly point out that if he's survived this long with only a few - a lot of - bumps and scratches, they have nothing to worry about. If Sole brings up their concerns again, he'll be more than happy to reassure them further.

Piper Wright She understands that with her line of work, she's a lot more likely to meet an untimely demise, but who doesn't die young these days? She's surprised she's made it this far with the amount of attempts on her life. She can stand seeing Sole cry though and instantly wraps them in a hug, telling them that as long as she's got them by her side, she'll be fine. Piper trusts Sole completely to protect her, just as she'd protect them. It breaks her heart to see them so torn up though and she almost feels guilty, deciding she'll find a way to make it up to them soon, even if she hasn't necessarily done anything wrong.

Preston Garvey As someone who often struggles with seeing the meaning in his own life, Preston is completely taken aback by Sole's worry towards his wellbeing. He instantly feels terrible for having any thoughts about taking his own life and apologises profusely to Sole, insisting that nothing bad will ever happen to them. He hasn't had an easy time recently, but having Sole by his side has helped more than he could've ever imagined and if they care about him enough to want him to keep fighting, then he will, without question.

X6-88 To nobody's surprise, X6 doesn't really know what to say or do. He simply clarifies that coursers were designed to be near enough formidable, so the likelihood of anything happening to him is extremely low. He does show some genuine concern, by asking if Sole would benefit from speaking to someone professionally, it's not enough to comfort Sole, but he's trying his best.

Day 18 -- Deacon

The (nsfw) details for Kinktober, Day 18 are just below the cut!

Minors, please don't interact.

Voyeurism with Deacon x g/n! Sole

Whoops, big surprise, this got angsty. Sorry Deeks! I just can't help it with this man, I don't know why 😅 but hopefully y'all still enjoy it regardless!

Here is the link to my Kinktober 2022 Event list so you can stay up-to-date, or re-visit these works as you please.

Included: Voyeurism, (non-consensual voyeurism), masturbation, angst, wishful thinking, pining.

1.6k words.

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Yeah. This is cute. 

Deacon’s mind said to him dryly. 

This is a healthy response to this situation. This isn’t weird. Sole will understand. They’ll get it. 

The spy shook his head, eyes closed tight as his brain spewed unwanted words of restraint, of undesired and unneeded common sense. 

What the hell is sensible about any part of this situation? We’re in an abandoned ice cream shop that Sole used to visit on weekends before giant bombs blew everything to hell, and they took a nap for 200 years. We’re surrounded by packs of super mutants on one side, and raiders on the other, and I’m biting into the back of my hand to keep quiet as they moan through the fabric of their shirt on the other side of this thin, crumbling concrete wall. Nothing about this situation is even remotely expectable. 

He could hardly fucking stand it. 

You’re both doing the same damn thing, if you’d just talk to them about it, maybe, the two of you could finally–

Deacon hissed through his teeth, his uncomfortably dry hand stroking too harshly over his erection as the frustration built up in both his mind and body. 

This isn’t the same. Another side of his mind refuted. I’m over here, pining the skin off my cock for them, while they’re undoubtedly thinking about their late spouse-- Or… anyone else, even. --at the feel of their own hand.

He didn’t know.  

I should be thinking of Barbara. Or of someone– anyone, but them. Right along with them.

They’re the only fucking friend I’ve got. I’ve had, in… what? A decade? Maybe more? I can’t count right now. 

Deacon’s head fell back against the wall, a grimace coating his expression, even as his blue eyes hazed over with climbing bliss. 

I can’t lose them over… what? Wanting to engage in a little hanky panky with them? Wanting what? A close connection? Intimacy? Vulnerability? When– in what universe would that ever happen? 

We both know I could never have anything like that again. 

A deep breath escaped him, throaty and louder than he would’ve liked as his thumb grazed over his slit, collecting some of his slick pre-cum and stroking it over his length as the only way to ease the friction of his rough hand. 

A noise sounded through the thin wall behind him, and Deacon ceased his movements., holding his breath. 

Shit. Did they just hear me?

Just as he was contemplating trying to zip his jeans up over her cock, to hide the evidence; just as some half-assed story was forming on his lips about why he was sitting back here against the wall, rather than out where he should be, out on watch, another sound interrupted his train of thought. 

He felt his cock throb at the sound, as he heard Sole’s moan fill the air around him. A gasp followed shortly after, and then a bit of silence, but Deacon could still feel them there, somehow, he could feel Sole’s lingering presence just on the other side, and he knew they were just worried. Worried that someone would hear what they were doing. Worried like he was. 

What am I doing? Deacon asked himself for the upteenth time that night, and so many nights before now. 

This is wrong. It’s gross, and it’s wrong, and it’s not fair, for you to hear them like this without earning it, without them knowing. It’s wrong to be out here doing this in response to it. 

Deacon’s hand stilled on his cock, refusing to stroke himself, but gripping tight enough to hurt as his mind flooded with thoughts like these. He wasn’t unused to self-loathing, nah, he and that go waaaaay back, but this? This seemed low. Even for the likes of him.

Sole wasn’t some stranger in a pub, not some escort or one-night-stander, not someone he didn’t know on the other side of a hotel room, who just happens to be engaging in the same fun little activity as him. No, Sole was the reason for this… activity. They were in his thoughts, always, even when they weren’t in front of him, or by his side, on the days he went out on his own, they were still there. 

And he fucking hated it. 

That they were reduced to this. 

They’re his best friend, his partner, the reason his smiles aren’t so forced, the reason he feels he might still, after all this time, all these years, have the capacity to love someone when he thought that had all died long ago. 

His body jolted as another breathy sound left his partner from the other side of the wall, and his eyes rolled back in his head. 

Goddamn, if I could see what they look like when they make that sound. 

With that very image coming unbidden to his mind, Deacon’s hand unwittingly was back to stroking over his cock. He worked himself slowly, savoring the feeling, allowing his mind to wander to the possibility of him being the one to make them sound like that, to make them look as he imagined they would. Their gorgeous eyes rolled back in their head, their lips spread as they moaned his name, their skin glistening, their hair wild. Their skin would be flushed, eyes hazy as they blinked them open to steal a glance at him as he ravished their body, as he used his silver tongue to work towards a goal more worthwhile than any other. As he did as they deserved, as he worshiped them like he were one of the deacons of the old world and they were his God, shepherding their release like all the poor sinners those men would bring to the light. 

Sole’s gasps were leaving them more rapidly now, building to a crescendo that Deacon would give all that he had left to be a part of. Hell, he’d throw his choice shades off the top of trinity tower to be the one to bring about their thunderous release. 

But he was doomed to be a bystander. Invisible, as he always was, as he heard them groan out from the other side of the wall. A thud sounded against the concrete as he imagined their head falling back at the overwhelming feeling of their release. 

It was the sound that got him.

Deacon hadn’t thought he was close, he’d been so caught up in his own fantasy, all of his tormenting thoughts, he couldn’t feel his body’s signs, and now, he was caught completely off-guard. The spy bit hard into his wrist as a low grunt escaped him against his will, his light eyes prickling with tears of pleasure as he finally felt that pressure release within him.

His seed sprayed down onto the dirt, leaving him in enthusiastic spurts that had his hips writhing and his head knocking against that same wall Sole was surely collapsed against. 

The next battle came in the form of his breath, as Deacon pulled his hand away, he realized how fucking loud he was still being, even as the last white rope of his cum was emptied onto the floor. He released himself, forcing his mind to rally, to focus on easing his breath, as his cock softened where it laid over the lip of his boxers. 

“Fuck me.” He whispered, eyes closed tight as the guilt all came swirling back into his mind with a vengence. 

Again? I just did this again? One of these days, you know–

“Deacon?” 

His eyes shot open as Sole’s voice carried from the other side of the wall. 

“I-is that you?” They asked, uncertain, their voice almost shaking. 

Every thought entered his mind at a million miles a minute, swirling together in a confused traffic jam of ‘what do I say’s?’ and ‘what the hell do I do’s?’. 

“Ahh,” The sound escaped his throat, as a way of aiding his thoughts, but he hadn’t meant for it to be verbal goddamn it. 

“Ahem, uh, yeah. Deeks here.” He bit his tongue, tasting metal from the pressure. 

Sole’s silence scared him more than their call of his name had. 

“How, uh, how’s it hanging?” 

Oh my god. One part of his mind panicked, while the other tried to grasp onto some form of sanity, of common sense. But that part of his mind, he didn’t know what it was, but it always seemed it’s hands were wet, or that common sense was made of ice and sanity was liquid water, always managing to slip frustratingly from his hold.

There’s no god out there that can save you, you buffoon. Nothing can. That was it. You finally did it. Finally managed to get caught. 

He almost told his thoughts to ‘shut up’ out loud, but thought better of it at the last moment. That likely wouldn’t go over well with Sole. Especially after they hadn’t said a damn thing. 

“You heard me, huh.” 

The blood drained from his face. It wasn’t a question from their end, but worse than their certainty was the shame that he heard drip from every word. 

“That… uh, that I did. Yeah.” 

If he was gonna be the creepy asshole sitting out here while they did their personal business, he at least could own up to it. Deacon may be a liar, but Sole, Sole wasn’t dumb. They’d know he was lying, and that would make it even worse. 

“But, um…” He closed his eyes, taking a breath. “But you heard me too, so, you know. Guess we’re, uh, even. Right?” 

“Yeah…” They said quietly, almost too quietly to hear with the wall in the way. Deacon didn’t have time to try to make what repairs he could before they were speaking again, this time louder than before. 

“I won’t tell you about it, if you won’t tell me.” A light humor touched their voice. 

Deacon let out a dry laugh, his chest aching for a reason he refused to acknowledge. 

“Won’t tell you about what?” He said back, hoping they couldn’t hear the strain in his voice, the strain to sound humorous and light in return. 

He heard their laugh from the other side, a lovely sound that tugged at the sides of his mouth, despite the lingering throb in his chest. 

“Yeah, exactly. Good talk, partner.” 

“Yeah.” He whispered, his brows creased beneath his shades. “Partner.”

Poor George, I wanna love you but now everything's a crime...

My idea for erasermic month 2025 week 2. ( Slightly late but details were taking forever.)

Prompt: Avian

im shaking, im cackli g so much at the artwork

caesar NOT BORINB

fence SHUICHISCUTE

spiral YOU ARE MY FAVORITE

*triumphant trumpet noises*

🎊🎊🎊 !!we have a winner!! 🎊🎊🎊

*there is now confetti everywhere. you'll be finding confetti stuck to your socks for the next few weeks. confetti is what your life has become.*

solved the codes in the draw- here's the prize!

"Hancock has no regrets about becoming a ghoul"??

It baffles me when some people think Hancock has zero regrets about becoming a ghoul. Absolutely none at all apparently. Like yeah, he plays it up when you first meet him before he's a companion, but let's be real he plays up pretty much everything in regards to the whole "sexy king of the zombies" image he projects.

It takes travelling with you away from Goodneighbor to give him some time to be introspective for him to finally realize that him becoming a ghoul was just another escape route from himself again. He's got several lines of dialogue that literally reiterate this. It's a key point of his character:

Hell, running from myself is what made me into… into a damn Ghoul.

Well, I mean, I didn't always look this good. The drug that did this to me, that made me a Ghoul, I knew what it was going to do.

I just couldn't stand looking at the bastard I saw in the mirror anymore.

The coward who'd let all those Ghouls from Diamond City die. Who was too scared to protect his fellow drifters from Vic and his boys.

If I took it, I'd never have to look at him again. I could put that all behind me. I'd be free. Didn't seem like a choice at all. Turns out it was just me running from somethin' else in my life.

I mean, after reaching max affinity with you, he realizes that maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all (because he's finally got an honest friend he can be open with now). He now feels comfortable where he is - but to imply that he doesn't have at least the tiniest amount of regret? Heck, if you go onto romance him (or attempt to), he stops referring to himself as handsome and literally starts calling himself ugly, which naturally goes entirely against the image he projects:

Why don't we just agree to keep it friendly for now or till they find a cure for ugly? Heh.

You don't want to wake up to this mug every morning. Never wish that on anyone I cared for.

You sure you want to be stuck with this ugly mug?

(You could even say he implies it beforehand with another line of dialogue elsewhere in-game when he says "I'd be mad too if I was that ugly." But that's a stretch I guess.)

Combine that with the fact that 99% of ghouls don’t choose to become ghouls. Hancock did. But he didn't do it for a fun experience. He was already in a bad place when he became a ghoul. He didn't turn to be cool and edgy like he pretended he did when first getting to know him.

He lost his appearance, any connections to his old identity and old friends/people he might’ve been associated with (for better or worse), and in return gained hostility from bigots towards him for merely existing, from an overwhelming majority of the Commonwealth population that hates ghouls. There's the Institute and Brotherhood who want to kill anyone like him on top of that. Plenty of people out there who think he and other ghouls are monsters for just being alive.

Not only that, but something which adds onto this is the fact that he's a client of the Memory Den, and they're very selective with their customers. And what's the whole point of the Memory Den? Reliving past memories. Irma's terminal entry about Hancock, as well as the other two ghoul clients Kent and Daisy, all imply the memories they go back to relive are primarily from their human days. (The one on Hancock straight up says "if you thought he was handsome and dangerous now, you should've seen him before he turned ghoul.")

I genuinely refuse to believe that Hancock has never had any regret whatsoever about becoming a ghoul. The man who's spent a decent chunk of his life running from his own problems instead of confronting them, has NO regrets about taking a drug that alters his entire being and functionality on a biological level and will force him to outlive everyone he knows? This man is FULL of regrets!