Latest Posts by eddiiiieeee - Page 2

New slash series.

Hellos children. U SEE THIS BEAUTIFUL, GORGEOUS, STUNNINGLY BREATHTAKING MAN? IVE GOT A NEW SERIES COMING OUT FOR HIM. BUT FCKEN TUMBLR PUT A MATURE POST LABEL ON THE MASTERLIST POST N MIGHT FOR EACH CHAPTER SO IM TELLING YALL HERE INCASE TUMBLRS HIDING IT FROM YALL. SO IMA TAG THE MASTER LIST HERE AND IMA PUT OUT A SMALL POST WHENEVER A CHAPTER IS OUT YALL R GETTING ONE SOON THO SO YAY!!!

HERES THE MASTERLIST.

A little death Masterlist.

summary: Rock n Roll was at its peak, and so was Guns n Roses. However, the most popular band had lost their drummer, and what’s a rock band without their drummer? So when a new girl steps in to fill the gap in their band, slash doesn’t take too kindly to her. She’s wild, untamed, free spirited, an addict, and yet, she was free. Everyone loved her. The world loved her. And yet, Slash couldn’t. He hated her. Plain and simple, because it was easier to hate her, than to love her.

warnings: this will contain mentions of drugs, overdoses, sex, drinking and more. if any of those things trigger you, please hope off now :)

part 1 - part 2

Holding her back

Eddie Munson x reader warnings: strong language, real angsty, mentions of sexual things, no happy ending. yes, I am an evil fuck.

summary: Eddie feels like he's holding y/n back, and that's where the demise of their relationship starts

authors note: all the young adults are in high school, and so are the party members, Joyce and hopper are together, Billy isn't a pimple on anyone's ass. The upside down never happened. and yes ur dad is Pedro pascal. have fuuun part 1 masterlist

lunch rolled up pretty quick, y/n and Robin joining the hellfire table which was missing its dm, causing Gareth to ask the question on everyone's mind "Anyone see eddie today?" he said as everyone mumbled out a 'no' before looking at y/n who was poking at her food "no clue, I saw him yesterday, but not today, he never came this morning to pick me up" Gareth and jeff exchanged weird looks as they took in y/ns words. silence fell over the table once Eddie had sat down at the front of the table at his usual seat, with y/n and Gareth on either side, everyone noticing the black eye and cut on his lip "Dude, eds are you okay?" Dustin asked as y/n took a brief glance at Eddie "yea peachy" Eddie replied as he looked up at everyone, his gaze lasting longer on y/n who was yet to speak up. everyone continued with their lunch with both y/n and Eddie silent, occasionally stealing glances at each other before Gareth decided to end the tension "You guys going to keep staring at each other? or what?" "can it Emerson would you?" Eddie snapped looking at Gareth as y/n looked at Eddie, while he looked down at his food. everyone continued eating in silence as before they knew it lunch was over, Max and Robin bid y/n goodbye as she didn't move, waiting for her and Eddie to be alone. "you gonna tell me why you're acting like this?" y/n said as she kept her eyes on her rings "I'm fine." he mumbled packing his things before getting up "Eddie can you sit down? you haven't said a thing to me since last night when you practically kicked me out of your house" she said getting up from her seat to look at him "Ive got a deal I can't be late" he said to her his gaze sharp as y/n scoffed "fine, go to your fucking deal. I couldn't care less" she said swinging her bag over her shoulder as she pushed past him to leave the cafeteria. .... the school day was finally over, y/n and Robin walked out together waiting for Steve to come to pick them up and drop them off at y/n's. "I and Steve are heading to this party tomorrow, you wanna come with us?" Robin asked as y/n licked her lips shaking her head "Fridays are movie nights with Dad, it's the only day he gets off in the week, sorry" "What movie are you guys going to watch?" "karate kid, it's one of our favourites" Y/n mumbled as steves car came into view, Robin saluted her friend before getting into steves car, leaving Y/n alone wondering how she's gonna get home. Eddie could feel a pang in his chest as he watched Y/n stand there, letting out a deep sigh as he remembered the look she gave him at lunch, and how she didn't even sit next to him in any of their shared classes. he took a deep breath and gulped, his chest moving up and down as he tried to shake away the overwhelming feeling. .... Friday was seemingly a quick day, well Eddie wouldn't know as he ditched so he could sleep before hellfire. throughout hellfire, he couldn't get the thought of y/n out of his mind. he could see just how hurt she was, he had to do it now, break it all off. he couldn't bare to do it though, he still melted over the picture he's got of them in his wallet, he did it at the grocery store, yesterday afternoon. he's been so lost in thought that he didn't notice he's been humming cant help falling in love by Elvis, one of y/n's favorites. it broke his heart knowing that this is what she needs. he just had to do it. y/n had decided to waste time at the benches after the meeting, knowing her dad would be here in a few to pick her up. she had her earphones in as she was finishing off a sketch of Eddie she was working on. maybe today he'd feel better, finally talk to her so they could go back to how they were, happy and in love all the time. there couldn't be someone else right? y/n's thoughts where a tsunami she couldn't escape, it trapped her with no escape, no safe space. it was only in the instance that Eddie would save her. but he wasn't here, he was the cause of this tsunami. y/n was so deep in thought trying to fixate on her breathing instead of her and Eddies issues that she didn't notice, Eddie Munson in the flesh.

HAPPY SEASON 4 DAY!

it was one year ago today, that i’d fallen in love with Eddie Munson and Joseph Quinn, who would soon become the people who’d save me from many things. it was exactly one year ago today that my favourite show came back to me to give me one hell of a good year with a amazing summer to follow. i was in my worst at the time, all it took was to watch my comfort show to begin to find comfort in eddie, realising just how much i relate to him, especially with how i’m perceived at school. eddie munson saved me and joseph quinn did too. they both managed to make me feel like maybe everything was worth something, that maybe things aren’t that bad, that yk it’ll get better. they were there for me when no one was and i don’t regret a thing about falling in love with the both of them. n ik it’s corny as shit n cringe as shit. but i’m never felt safer then i do when i watch eddie or joseph on screen. it’s like a huge bubble of emotion just bursts into me and makes me feel contempt 🫀💗

Holding her back

Eddie Munson x reader warnings: strong language, real angsty, mentions of sexual things, no happy ending. yes, I am an evil fuck.

summary: Eddie feels like he's holding y/n back, and that's where the demise of their relationship starts

authors note: all the young adults are in high school, and so are the party members, Joyce and hopper are together, Billy isn't a pimple on anyone's ass. The upside down never happened. and yes ur dad is Pedro pascal. have fuuun masterlist

something that humoured Eddie was how no one batted an eye when they see Carver and his group of rats gang up on Eddie, and that's exactly what was happening. just another day for everyone, while Eddies got a black eye, a cut on his lip and possibly a broken nose with all the blood coming from it, Eddie did hit back, but he was one on five, he'd manage to get one down, another would come back up. they were getting their dignity back after Eddie had beaten them up a few days back. "you know whats a real big shame, freak? that pretty girlfriend of yours, y/n. She's got a bright future ahead of her, but do you think shell really achieve anything with you by her? fuck no" Jason said as Eddie pushed him away from him, leaning his body against the wall behind him as he wiped his bloody nose before Eddie knew it, he was on the ground while Andys foot hit against his stomach over and over again, before they'd decided to leave him alone, but what hurt the most wasn’t the kicks or the punches. it was the fact that deep down, eddie knew they were right, that Eddie was holding y/n back from amazing things, he knew that the tiny voice in his head that he would ignore was right. Eddie wasn’t good enough for y/n, no matter how hard he tries, he’s just a phase in her life he needs to get her out of, but how could he leave her? the love of his life was y/n, he felt sick just thinking about how hurt she would feel, he knew deep down that he was holding back.

….

y/n had been waiting for Eddie at his trailer with Wayne, her dad needing to take an extra shift meant y/n all by herself, so she grabbed the left overs from the lasagna she’d made, making sure she left some for her dad, and made her way to the Munson trailer. “Eddie’s mom” y/n mumbled as Wayne handed her Polaroids of a woman who looked similar to Eddie “yep, she was beautiful, my boy got everything from her, even his wild hair he can’t seem to brush” y/n chuckled as she looked at the picture, Eddie looked just like her “he’s got her eyes” she said as she smiled noticing the ring on her finger, it was the ring Eddie had given her for her birthday

y/n handed Wayne the picture back before the door abruptly opened, revealing a rather pissed off Eddie. both Wayne and y/n shot up from their seats “Ed’s what happened to you?” Wayne asked as y/n walked up to him, placing her hands on his face as Eddie moved away from her “Ed’s what happened?” she said looking at him “nothing, i got into a fight” he mumbled keeping his eyes on the floor, as he bit the inside of his lip “come on, we need to clean you up” y/n said trying to wipe the blood from his lip before he moved away “man, get off me will you?” he spat glaring at her before he walked off into his room

“boy get back here!” Wayne said as he heard Eddie bedroom door slam shut, y/n stood there shocked before she turned to Wayne “he probably wants to be alone it’s fine” she said giving Wayne a small smile before she moved to grab the empty places on the table, putting them in the plate as Wayne helped her clean up. once they were done, Wayne had gone out for a smoke while y/n went to check up on eddie “Eddie? can i come in?” she asked, before opening the door, as Eddie sat on the floor with a cloth on his lip, he took a glance at her before he looked away “what?” he mumbled moving the cloth away to look at the blood

“i got you food, its lasagne” she said walking in as she closed the door, sitting next to him as she placed the plate down as well. “you wanna tell me what happened?” she asked as she looked at him “i don’t have to tell you everything” he said looking at her “stop getting all up into my shit.” y/n face fell as she nodded, Eddie’s never once spoken to her that way. she nodded before she looking at around “Wayne showed me a pictures of your mom, she’s really seems prettier in ever picture i see” Eddie sensed the hurt in y/n’s voice, he knew he was starting to hurt her

“listen i’m tired, i wanna go to sleep, can you just go home and i’ll, like, call you i guess?” He said looking at her as y/n furrowed her eyebrows confused “Eddie, did i do something?” “god, not everything revolves around you, y/n. i get it you’re my girlfriend but that does not mean we have to hangout all the time” y/n gulped as she bit the inside of her lip “sorry, it’s my fault that i’m trying to be a good girlfriend. and i’ll go home, don’t worry” she said getting up as she walked out the room, grabbing her jacket and bag before heading out. Eddie rubbed his face as he got up, moving into the bathroom to get the first aid kit out, and clean his face up.

….

y/n had set up the table, three plates, like every morning. she hummed along to the Elvis record she had on, soon finishing up the pancakes and placing the plate of them in the middle of the table. “y/n?” Nick had called out as he walked down the stairs “in here!” y/n said as she poured coffee in the three glasses she’d put on the table, Nick walked in and smiled at her “morning” he said as he sat down yawning a-bit “morning, what time did you get home from your shift?” she asked handing him a glass of water, a habit they’ve had since Nick always forgets to drink water.

“around three, you were asleep when i got home” he said beginning to smear chocolate all over his pancake “did you eat the leftovers? i took some for Wayne and Eddie and left out some for you since i knew you’d get home hungry” “yea i did” he said his mouth filled with a mixture of pancakes and chocolate “Munson not coming for breakfast?” he asked nothing Eddie’s empty chair at the table “i’m not sure, he wasn’t in the best mood when i saw him last night, he was… all beat up, just really sour” y/n said as she sat down, grabbing a pancake and doing the same as Nick did “i’ll just keep some aside for him, and after school i’ll give them to him” she mumbled taking a sip of her coffee

as Nick nodded “so i was thinking tomorrow night, we could go out pick a movie out, and have a movie night, I’ve got tomorrow off” he shrugged as y/n swallowed her food nodding ”just saying i am not watching top gun maverick again, i think i can recite the entire movie scene for scene” she said as they both chuckled “it’s a good movie besides if i let you pick the movie it’ll just mean i’m either watching dirty dancing or pretty in pink” “hey you cried watching pretty in pink!” “i did not!” “did so!” she laughed as she then looked at her watch

“shit Eddie’s late” she said finishing off her pancake before drinking the rest of her coffee “You go ahead to school and I’ll clean up, need a ride?” Nick said wiping the corners of his mouth with a napkin “I do, You sure you've got the time?” “yea I’m sure, I’ve got a couple hours before my next shift,” he said as y/n got up helping Nick clean up before grabbing her backpack, swinging it on her back as Nick tied his work boots, getting up once he was done, grabbing his keys. both of them getting in the car and driving off. .... y/n pulled out her chemistry textbook out of her locker, to place it inside her bag, she hadn't seen eddie for the last two periods. she was lost in thought that she hadn't noticed Robin who was staring at her concerned "you okay?" the blonde asked as y/n looked at her, clearing her throat "yea yea, its just Eddie, he's acting off" she said closing her bag as she closed her locker, locking it as her and Robin walked off to Chem "have you seen him today?" y/n asked, concerned about her boyfriend. "no but during lunch, ill call up steve and ask if they're hanging out, you know Eddie, he'll ditch a day of school to get high with king steve" y/n hummed in agreement as the two made their way into class, something was off and y/n knew it. Eddie was sat in the back of his van, a joint hanging from his lip, as Robert plants voice rang through his headphones, the ones y/n had gifted him along with the cassette player for his birthday, his eyes set on the song journal in front of him "fucking shit" he mumbled, closing the journal and throwing it next to him as he took a deep drag from the joint, letting the smoke into his system, maybe it would help drown out Jasons voice and y/ns, the anger and hurt that laced it last night. he's going to do it, today. he'll break up with her and just support her from the side lines, where she wouldn't know. after a few more minutes of sitting and string at the carpet of the vans back area with Zepplin filling his head, Eddie stopped the tape as he took the headphones off, opening the door to his van and setting out, throwing the joint on the floor as he put it out, grabbing his journal and stuffing it in the mess he calls a backpack, zipping it uo and swinging it over his leather clad shoulder, closing the door and locking the van, before walking inside the building and heading to the drama room. .... part 2 here!

part 3 here!

man these Eddie ai voice things r driving me inside. I NEED IT LIKE RN, BUT IM DEADASS BROKE- HELP

Beware The Bitch!

Eddie Munson x reader 

warnings: strong language, slow burn, mentions of sexual things, alcohol and drugs.

summary: The new Kid Gareth falls for Chrissy Cunningham, shame she cant date unless her sister does. but things change when Jeff and Gareth ask for help from none other then Hawkins resident freak and Basketball captain, Jason Carver

authors note: all the young adults are in highschool, and so are the party members, Joyce and hopper are together, Billy isn't a pimple on anyones ass. and the upside down never happened. I might make a playlist for you guys to listen to while reading! have fuuun masterlist - next part :)

PROLOGUE: Welcome to Hawkins High, your typical public High school in Hawkins, Indiana. The year was 1999 and the halls filled with students strategically separated based on social grounds for example, you cant be a geek and sit at the basketball teams table, nor can you be a basketball player and sit at the freaks table, basically monarchies shit. y/n's circle tho, wasn't named. it consisted of Robin Buckley, one of the schools band members. King Steve Harrington, who has probably gone out with every chick that went to Hawkins High. Nancy Wheeler, the head of the Hawkins highs post. Johnathan Byers, the photographer for the Hawkins High post. Argyle Chigliak, Mr high all the time. and of course you couldn't forget the little ones. ..... Black Doc Martins hit the ground of the schools parking lot as y/n grabbed her coffee, backpack and books. closing the door of her 1963 Dodge Dart, almost dropping her Coffee as a hand caught it "Jesus y/n/n, what's up with you this morning?" Steve asked as he could hear deftones blaring from y/n's headphones that rested on her head. she locked her car making sure it was off before throwing her keys in her bag, fixing herself before taking her coffee from Steve "I woke up late, or so I thought before Chrissy decided it would be funny to mess my clock up" She sighed taking a sip of her coffee "what? I don't look that dead, I managed to do my makeup on the way here, why does it look bad?" She asked looking at Steve worried "you look great, and your makeup looks great like everyday, Steve is just being an asshole!" Robin said joining her friends as she put a an arm around y/n's shoulder, y/n looked through her bag as she pulled out a compact she assumed was Chrissys, realizing her makeup did look like everyday. mascara concealer under her eye and on her nose, eyeliner on her waterline, highlighter on the inner corner of her eye and eyelid as well as long her eyeliner mid way. blush and highlighter on her cheeks as well as highlighter on her nose along with purple tinted lips "you dick" she said pushed Steve as she put the compact in her bag and taking a sip of her coffee Robin laughed as Steve bumped into someone apologizing to the curly haired boy, whom he didn't recognize. Gareth watched him walk away, as he scratched his head, looking at the paper he was given "you lost?" a dark skinned boy asked as he approached Gareth "uh-yea. trying to find the guidance counselors office. I'm Gareth" he said as Jeff nodded "Jeff, ill show you man come on. nice badge, you like Sabbath?" Gareth nodded as he Jeff walked along into the school "yea one of my favorite bands actually..." The brunette trailed off as a girl with strawberry blonde hair moved past him "Ah- Chrissy Cunningham. Queen of Hawkins, I wouldn't try buddy, her dad has a strict no dating rule, unless in the case that her sister gets a boyfriend." Jeff explained as Gareth eyes followed Chrissy to her friends "that right there. is y/n Cunningham, the evil witch of Hawkins" Jeff said as he pointed to y/n, who ripped off a poster about prom and threw it in the trash, right in front of the girl who put it up. "no guy has ever gotten to a first date with her. two out of three ended up in the hospital and one is no where to be found" Jeff chuckled as he led Gareth to the office "I'll see you during lunch, man" Jeff said as he walked off leaving Gareth alone to wait outside the counselors office ... "So, Gareth. Here we go." Miss Sam said as she opened Gareth's folder, her eyebrows furrowed as she dropped her glasses from her head to the tip of her nose "9 schools in 10 years, my my... Army brat? impressive" She said nodding as she looked at the boy who looked around the office before looking back at the older woman, giving her a small smile, as Gareth went to open his mouth to answer her, she quickly interrupted "That’s enough. I'm sure you won't find Hawkins High any different than your old school. Same little asswipe shit-for-brains everywhere, so good luck!" the old lady said shocking Gareth with her use of words

"Excuse me. Did you just say... Am I in the right office?" he asked confused as he looked around before looking back at her "Not anymore you’re not. I’ve got deviants to see and a novel to finish. Now scoot. Scoot!" she yelled at him as he grabbed his bag quickly leaving but not before he bumped into, Hawkins resident freak, Eddie Munson. "I-uh, excuse me" the shorter boy mumbled as he walk off confused. "Ah, Eddie Munson, I see our visits are weekly now." She said looked at him through her glasses "only so we can have our lovely moments, love. should I hit the lights?" he grinned as he leant against the doorway "Oh very clever, devil boy. Says here you exposed yourself in the cafeteria?" "I was joking with the lunch lady. It was a bratwurst." he shrugged as he looked up at the ceiling before back at her, giving her his signature Eddie Munson smirk as she took a glance as his groin suspiciously "Aren’t we the optimist? Next time keep it in your pants, okay? Scoot!" she said brushing him off as he rolled his eyes, leaving the office and heading off. ... Thunder kiss '65 by White zombie could be heard coming from her headphones, as she unlocked her locker, stuffing whatever she didnt need for the first three periods and slamming it, jumping once she saw Chrissy "Jesus, Chris." she mumbled moving one of her headphones off her ear "Sorry, I was wondering if you've got any ya know, I ran out." she said fiddling with her fingers as y/n nodded "uh, hold this" she said handing Chrissy her coffee before digging through her backpack "there we go" she said discreetly handing two pads to her sister "come find me if you need anymore" she said as Chris nodded "thanks" she said taking a sip of y/n's coffee before handing it back to her "hey-" she said as she sighed "Good morning" Nancy said standing next to y/n on the other side "Hey Nance, where's Johnathan?" y/n asked as she handed Nancy her coffee "Argyles van broke down, so he's getting him off of whatever road he decided to take now" She shrugged looking into y/n's locker "you really need to get organized" the brunette said as she looked into her friends messy locker "its not as bad as everyone makes it out to seem, calm down" y/n chuckled as she slamming her locker shut, locking it again as she took her coffee from her friend "thanks. you ready for English?" Nancy nodded holding her binder close to her "yea, EP is so easy, dunno why the guys and rob say it isn't" she shrugged as y/n chuckled again "yea well, the inside of Steves head is more hair then brain so, not too surprised" she said as she took her final sip of her coffee before Jeff bumped into her "Jesus, watch where you're going!" she snapped before walking off with Nancy who scolded her, Gareth shocked as he watched her walk off "see not easy to talk to" Jeff said brushing the interaction off as he and Gareth continued their path ... "I loved it, it was sooo romantic" Tammy Thompson spoke as she held her hands close to her chest, causing y/n to visibly cringe looking back at her as she rolled her eyes "Romantic? Hemingway?! He was an abusive alcoholic misogynist who squandered half his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers." y/n shrugged keeping her gaze forward as she rolled her eyes "As opposed to a bitter self-righteous hag who has no friends? take a chill pill sweetheart, it'll help with your period" Jason spoke as Andy patted his back "pipe down, blonde. cause Some day you’re gonna get bitch-slapped and I’m not gonna do a thing to stop it." Mr. Morgan spoke staring at jason, y/n's rings clinked together as moved to turn around "I guess in this society being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time." she said glaring back at Jason before looking at Mr. Morgan who sighed putting his hands up "lord I give up" .... Hope you enjoyed it!!

10 things I hate about you!

I will link the new chapters every time I published a chapter :) ●trope: rom-com couple ●warnings: strong language, smut, you could say slow burn, ansgtyyyy

<<if you haven't watched the movie, this could spoil it for you>> Eddie Munson x reader ●Masterlist: Beware The Bitch!

My Angel ☆☆

Slash x reader 

warnings: a bit of angst at the start, just fluff, mentions of alcohol and drugs, etc.

summary: y/n and Saul get into a fight about his addiction, and saul finds a letter y/n had written about him.

authors note: listen to September - sparky deathcap, because it fit 💀 part 1!

Saul's eyes slowly began fluttering open, how he'd prayed it was all a bad dream. he could see a figure standing against the balcony door, the soft wind occasionally blowing her hair. it was her, it was y/n. He got up slowly rubbing his eyes as he walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and putting his forehead against her shoulder, what made his heart ache was the fact that she tensed up "please don't do that" he whispered, not being able to handle the thought of her leaving him. She kept her gaze at the beach straight ahead, she knew she should listen to the voice in her head, not Saul's begging her not to leave, but that tiny one that was warning her, to not put herself through, god she should listen but how could she? how could she leave her angel. her beautiful boy.

"you have to promise me. promise me that you won't relapse again, because I can't do this every time. I can't keep handling having to put you in a new rehab program every single fucking time you relapse because the one before didn't work. I can't handle coming home one day to find you dead on our bathroom floor, I really can't Saul, I get so worried when you head over to the studio because I know that if Axl even offers you a drop of fucking heroin you'd take it without a second thought. I can't lose you Saul, and you can't seem to comprehend that, I really can't." she said letting out a few sobs as her hands flew to hide her face in her palms, Saul looked at her and spun her slowly "I am so sorry sweetheart." he mumbled his own tears rolling down his cheeks as he hugged her tightly she wrapped her arms around him sobbing into his chest, how she missed his scent. "I promise you I'm never doing any of that shit ever again, I swear to you y/n." he mumbled into her hair kissing the top of her as she moved to look at him, he looked down into her eyes, wondering how could he have hurt her so much "can I kiss you?" he asked moving some of her hair away from her face as she nodded, parting her lips a bit as he leaned down to kiss her, his hands resting on her cheeks as hers stayed in their place around his waist "I love you, I love you so so much it hurts." he mumbled to her against her lips "I know" she mumbled back as they kept their lips connected, Slash always told her that his lips were made to kiss hers, just hers and no one else's. they were moulded perfectly to fit her lips. once they'd pulled away, y/n kept her forehead against his "I love you, and one day, if you'll take me, I'm gonna marry you, I'm gonna take you wherever you want, we can have those kids you said you wanted" he chuckled through his tears. "you know, the ones with big curly hair and brown eyes?" he said as she grinned a bit knowing he'd read her journal as she had never mentioned kids to Slash "you read that?" she mumbled as she wiped her cheeks "yep, I read the part where I'm your angel. just so you know, I know someone whos even more angelic then I am." he smiled as she moved back a bit to look at him, as her eyebrows furrowed "and whos that?" "you." he said, watching her cheeks turn red as she chuckled a bit "I seriously love you so much," Saul told her caressing her cheek with his thumb "I love you too, baby," she said as he connected their lips once more .... this was short I'm sorry!! but here's part 2!

My Angel ☆

Slash x reader

warnings: a bit of angst at the start, just fluff, mentions of alcohol and drugs, etc.

summary: y/n and Saul get into a fight about his addiction, and saul finds a letter y/n had written about him.

authors note: listen to September - sparky deathcap, because it fit 💀 part 2!!

"Oh go fuck yourself, saul!" she yelled out as tears streamed down her face, staring back at the man she loves. she hid her face in her hands as Saul let realization hit him, he failed her again, he relapsed after promising to stay clean for the third time in their five years together. he called her names, trashed the house, told her he wished he never loved her, that he despised her. all because she had flushed his stash down the toilet, those words were the first thing she said since he started his tantrum. her sobs now filling the apartment "s-shit baby" he mumbled as he walked towards her his hands reaching up to hold her arms "don't touch me" she said flinching away from him almost instantly she finally looked up at him, with a look he couldn't even describe. y/n grabbed her car keys and purse, quickly rushing out of the apartment, leaving saul alone with his mess. she left. his brain was too drugged to comprehend going after her, he didn't know what to do, he was lucky he was even still standing with the number of drugs he's consumed. Saul rushed over to the phone connected to the wall, dialling Stevens number as he waited, till he heard a voice "steven adler speaking!" "adler, I fucking- y/n, she left and... shes gone" saul sobbed into the phone, leaving his friend very confused as Steven looked over at duff who'd been over at his house "hold on, me and duff are on our way okay?" saul nodded, letting the other hang up as he fell against the wall. he looked around the trashed apartment and noticed underneath a pile of glass, was a book. y/ns handwriting on the front of it. it was her journal, the one she always wrote in. he moved over to grab it, his fingers moving over the old leather cover of the book. he opened the book and let whatever page open, his eyes read over the words, letting himself remember how he loved her handwriting, she always said it looked like a little kid's handwriting, almost unreadable but he always read whatever she would write. he noticed the date that was written 22/9/1987. the day guns n roses performed at the ritz in new york. how can he look so pretty, so angelic without even trying, my saul, a complete angel. gosh how I love him, how I adore him, I've loved and adored him since we first met before all this, before guns n roses, back in 84. I don't regret going to Madam Wong's in East Hollywood, I remember how adorable he looked, his hair was less wild then. I remember the funky clothes he wore that night, god how I remember what I felt when he looked at me. I felt like a little girl whose crush held her hand for the first time during recess. I remember how he stumbled over his words when he came up to me afterwards, I remember how gentle his touch was, how he asked to kiss me underneath a faulty street light in California's weather, I remember every date and moment that happened after. I know saul isn't clean anymore, it hurts me knowing he could slip through my fingers at any given moment, he doesn't remember how I held him a few nights back, I could hear his breathing vividly, and I could see how the colour and life was sucked out of him, he looked almost ghost-like. he doesn't know that's why I haven't slept well in the past few nights, how could I? how could I rest knowing my angel might vanish. how I hate when he does it, but then again, how I love him. my beautiful beautiful boy, I gifted him that song and told him it described him very well. a very beautiful boy. I've dreamt of love this good, and I've got it, saul hudson will forever be the man I love. if we're together or broken up, far or close, in love or fighting, he will always be that angel that sits in my heart, strumming his guitar without a care in the world, singing my favourite songs to me, letting me run my fingers through his untamed curls. I wonder if we ever have kids and if they'll take after him, I hope they do, how I would love little version of him, with his beautiful brown eyes, gorgeous black curls, beautiful facial features, warm coloured skin.

how I love him, my sweet beautiful boy, my guardian angel. y/n l/n ♥ Saul hadn't noticed how hard he began sobbing, this was how much she loved him. and yet all he did was tell her he didn't love her at all. he pulled the leather-covered book to his chest and pull his knees to his chest. not realizing that the door had opened and revealed the mess of an apartment to his two friends. Steven's eyes quickly made their way to Saul, who was surrounded by broken glass, and wood. Duff looked around, getting an idea of what just might have gone down. they both rushed over to Slash, glass breaking underneath their steps "Hey man" Steven said as he crouched down to Slash's level "we need you to calm down alright? so you can tell us what happened and where y/n is" the smaller blonde explained as Duff rubbed Sauls back 

"get him some water, Adler" Duff said as Steven rushed to do so. it didn't take Steven long before he made his way back to them handing Saul the glass, who chugged it down rather quickly. "could you now tell us what happened?" Duff asked, Saul, keeping his gaze straight ahead "she found out I relapsed.she flushed all my shit down the drain, and I got mad at her. I yelled, I threw things, broke some more, i-i told her I didn't love her... that I would never forgive her for what she did, fuck man- I told her I hated her, despised her even" he mumbled letting out a sob towards the end "and she told me to go fuck myself, and when I tried to touch her, she moved away and told me to not touch her, and then she... she left without another word. I need her, I really really love her and I fucked up" he mumbled tears rolling down his cheeks, not caring that this had to be the first time he'd cried around the guys. 

Steven squeezed his shoulder before sighing "let's get you to bed, and then I'll clean up here and Duff can go look for y/n/n, okay?" Steven told his friend before he and Duff had helped Slash up and to his bed, the one he and y/n got up from not long ago. the minute Saul's head touched the pillow, he was out. Duff noticed y/n's journal in Saul's grip, he took it and placed it on the bedside table before leaving the room and closing the door behind him, Steven grabbed a garbage bag and began cleaning up the glass "you knew. you knew he was doing drugs again and didn't say a word to her." Steven told Duff looking at him "I know, I already feel like an asshole" the man said as he sat down on the couch ..... part 2 will be up soon, I promise!! thoughts?

istg.

i'm not god's strongest soldier.