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OH MY GOODNESS HOW COME I ONLY SEE THIS NOW !!!!! Thank you so much é_è

You ever read a fanfic so good you want to make fanfic for the fanfic?

Because that's me with this.

BPD Awarness Month

On top of May being mental health awareness month, it’s also BPD (Borderline personality disorder) awareness month. I don’t even have enough words to describe what it feels like living with BPD. It has been my tool to survival and will eventually be my demise. Life with BPD is the hardest. You are emotionally fucked. You are toxic to everyone you come into contact with. Everyday is a struggle. Every hour is a caution tape. Living with it is like living in a gas chamber that is slowly leaking toxic fumes. Your breath is always caught. Your tears are always flowing. Even with therapy and medication for the symptoms, there is so much left to deal with. It never really goes away. At a moment's notice you can change feelings from “I love you” to “I hate you”. Having someone love you feels fake. Like you are never going to be loveable. That no one could ever love you. You’re too much of a burden. Too damaged to be loved. BPD is from trauma. And well, I have generations of it. No matter how much I try, no matter how much I grow it never feels enough. Emotions feel like suicide. Thoughts scream too loud. Demons control you like a puppet unable to run away. Hallucinations come and go. You really never know when they'll come or go. Sometimes the episodes will be minutes, others months. Distance or slightest voice change feels like abandonment. Happiness or peace feels like an illusion. Losing someone is like the world is the knives across your skin. Anger feels like jumping off a cliff. Every time someone tries to comfort or love you feels like a trick. You either feel alone or feel like a god. Living with BPD is the hardest thing to live with. It's comparable to giving my children up for adoption. Either you’re high on top of the galaxy or you’re at rock bottom over and over in a vicious cycle. We are so stigmatized. People think we are “ticking time bombs”. Hell I’ve even had therapists leave or deny me because of it. For all of my borderlines out there, you deserve love. You deserve happiness. You can’t just cope, you have to heal. It will take every ounce of self control and inner power to get through each episode. But I promise you when you find peace, true peace you’ll know what I’m talking about. Your trauma does not make you. You are not your trauma. You are not crazy. You are not a burden. Just hang tight, we’ve got this. 

🧠

Let me reciprocate!

Your headcanons about Minerva, and your favorite headcanons about Angeline!

:3

Minerva, Minerva... The Minerva of my dreams is vastly different from the canon one. I always thought she would be a much more interesting foil to Artemis if she came from a different sociocultural background - what if the rich Irish boy faced a poor French girl from the Seine-Saint-Denis suburbs ? I think it would give her a different kind of grit, and also her motives for turning to crime wouldn't just be a Nobel Prize, but just... financial stability. For her and her family. I could develop more but I want to keep some surprises for my next fics :3 As for my darling Angeline, oh my. I tried to come up with a top 3 to keep myself in check ^^" 1) She's a fierce redhead 🔥 2) She had a musical career as the lead pianist of the jazz quartet The Silky Silfaka Lemurs 🐵 After she had Artemis she stopped playing in the band but she kept composing music. 3) Her favorite beverage is jasmine tea 🌸

Am spending a week at my parents', and look who's there ! Do you recognise this owl ? 🦉Yep, that's right ! Baby Artemis' plushy is real baby ! ✨ She belongs to my mum, and her real name is Hedwige 🥰

Oughhhh its so incredibly hard not to sound like a broken record everytime i see your art! It is genuinely so charming and beautiful and gorgeous, I adore the way you color and just your whole style! It suits Artemis Fowl especially well, it has such a whimsical and fantastical feel to it that works so well with AF!!! All this to say I am so glad you are in this fandom keeping us fed.

🥹 Thank you so much, you are just the sweetest. I’ve been having a very rough past few days, and these lovely words give me the comfort I need right now 💜 Merci tout plein !!!

I'm so happy to meet another AURORA fan 😍😍😍😍😍

yaaaaaay fellow warrior !! 💜 meep meep ! ✨

😸

Round 2 of the Artemis Fowl fandom ask game

But this time, I asked my husband to answer 💜 I was curious to see what would his takes be, and I figured it was worth sharing the thoughts of my best acolyte in AF fanfic writing, my eternal partner in crime ✨ (calling him by his nickname Chat 😸 from now on for ease of reading)

the character 😸 least understands Doodah Day. Chat doesn’t understand what he adds to TLC, as to him in terms of character archetype and motivations he is just a pale rip-off of Mulch, with different “powers”. Honorable mention, also in TLC, Qwan : Chat feels that his character should have been a lot more prominent and developed, we never know much about him and he feels like it’s a missed opportunity.

interactions 😸 enjoyed the most Artemis and Foaly ! They are Chat’s all-time favorite duo, he feels like together they should be absolutely unstoppable, and even bigger besties than Artemis & Holly and even Artemis & Butler. Chat finds it sad that their duo is limited to a bratty-yet-friendly rivalry, “what wasted potential 😿". Well, in Pareidolia Agent (next installment of Artemis Experiments Weird), let’s just say Chat and I decided to work on that 😇

the character who scares 😸 the most Foaly ! Because, most like Tokita in Paprika, he is way too inconsequential and childish for the amount of intellect, resources and power he has. Multiple times in the books, catastrophes happen because Foaly pissed off the wrong people or didn’t anticipate that his inventions might be hijacked and used for evil. Even though he is ultimately a lovely lil guy, Chat feels that Foaly is so immature he is a timebomb waiting to explode, and an absolute danger to everyone.

the character who is mostly like 😸 Artemis, “because him and I have way too many flaws in common 😿” (which is kinda true tbh, déso pas déso mon amour)

hottest looks character Vinyaya ! Chat is an absolute sucker for long white silvery hair 🤍 (which he absolutely insists on telling everyone he once sported himself ! now they are still long but only blonde ^^)

one thing 😸 dislikes about his fave character Artemis lets himself be ridiculed to easily, especially after book 4 - worth noting though that Chat barely considers book 5 to 7 to be canon 😅 And this is one of the main reasons why (yes I sait 5 to 7, that is intentional - Chat has refused to read TLG and claims it simply doesn’t exist)

one thing 😸 likes about his hated character Chat absolutely loves the cold cruelty of Opal murdering Root. To him, she was the most ruthless we’d ever seen any character be in the series at this point, and Root’s murder shook the status quo in such a dramatic way, hinting at the series shifting towards a darker, more serious tone that he absolutely loved. It didn’t exactly turn out that way, but he still loves TOD for this.

a quote or scene that haunts 😸 Chat adores the first interactions between Artemis and Spiro at the beginning of TEC - how Artemis ruthlessly (and carelessly) mocks Spiro and threatens to completely ruin his career, then how the shift in power happens in the blink of an eye.

a death that left 😸 indifferent Vinyaya, “because it’s not canon 😾” - and because it felt so gratuitous, absurd and useless.

a character 😸 wish died but didn’t Chat’s hot take (that I do kinda share) : Butler should have died in TEC. Chat feels like Artemis learned his lesson too easily, with too little consequences, and that Holly’s attempt to revive Butler shouldn’t have worked this well. To quote : "Artemis’ fatal flaw is hubris, and he should have paid a higher price for flying too close to the sun ; here, his character evolves without having lost anything”. for those who have read Experiments Weird : no comments

😸’s ship that never sailed Chat isn’t a huge shipper, but after pondering he declared that Holly and Trouble should have been together after TOD. So @ionlymadethissoicouldleaveanask that’s a win for the Holly/Trouble truthers gang 😝 And that’s it ! Chat doesn’t have a tumblr but if his takes stir some conversation he’d read and respond with pleasure 🙂

For the ask game!

😅 and 😬

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists? The most embarrassing ones from my youth have thankfully been deleted and vaporised from existence 😅 In 'Artemis Experiments Weird' there are a few things that I'd like to tweak - to name the biggest ones : some aspects of Selene and Artemis' early interactions, the progression of the Wired's hold on Artemis' psyche, and the big fight between the two Artemises. But like said, it's more like tweaking some stuff to improve it rather than me being embarrassed - when I'm embarrassed I just delete or never publish the thing 🙃

😬 Which of your fics would you be most horrified for friends, family, or coworkers to stumble upon?

Of the available ones, none, to be honest ! On the opposite, I'd love for more of my friends to be AF fans and fluent enough in English to read my fics 😅 I wanna talk more about Artemis Fowl irl !!! Right now the only one I can pester with it is my poor husband and while he loves AF as well the poor man deserves a break 😅

Been LOVING these AF daemons post by OP <3 I've been thinking about this particular post lately, here are some of my personal thoughts on deaths in the AF books with daemons attached. For TLG, I actually believe Artemis' daemon would disappear at first ; because I love this scene from The Amber Spyglass, where Lyra has to abandon Pan so she can go to the Underworld - and I feel like in this case, it would be the opposite - Artemis' daemon refuses to go with him. Just imagine Artemis, actually terrified of dying, begging his daemon to not leave him alone, and her firmly reassuring him - "remember. we will come back, we decided and promised to. so I have to stay." That would be absolutely heartwrenching (as the original scene is), but also I feel a good depiction of Artemis' resolve being stronger than death. And then, imagine all the others (Butler, Holly, the parents, everyone else) suddenly see Artemis' daemon coming back, roaming around the grave. Refusing to talk for now, but being there - alone.

The cloning I think doesn't have particular implications ; it's only a mere corporeal form for the soul to inhabit, so as long as the daemon is still there, it's okay. The scene could even be quite touching... They'd bring the clone to the daemon, she's inspect it carefully, then after a few minutes, she'd just curl up into a little furry ball on the clone's chest and wait. And he'd wake up. Afterwards, Artemis would probably be able to be separated from his daemon like the witches. Maybe the clone and the daemon would have difficulties bonding at first, but at least she'd be able to help him with his memories. As for Butler's death in TEC, it would mean twisting a tiny bit how the daemons work in HDM, but I can imagine that the daemon has a few more moments after Butler dies before completely disappearing (as if his soul tried to cling to Artemis for as long as he could before fading away). Knowing that, Artemis manages to bring him to the freezer just in time for the daemon to join Butler in the freezer and sleep with him until Holly revives them both. I wonder if it would be interesting and meaningful to have Butler's daemon, by the time Artemis manages to put him to safety, be too exhausted from clinging on the world to crawl into the freezer with his human, so Artemis has to lift her up himself. As touching another's daemon is super taboo and forbidden, maybe it would be an interesting way, similar to Butler telling his first name to Artemis before dying, to show how strenghtened their bond is now that death has threatened to tear them apart and they would not have it. Also, Butler being the vulnerable one for once, and Artemis taking care and charge of him, whatever it takes and whatever rules of the universe he has to break in the process. I don't know because in HDM it's implied that touching another's daemon has a more mature connotation, and I wouldn't want this idea to be interpreted that way. I still think it would be sweet to see Artemis caring for Butler's daemon tho.

Well, these were my ramblings x') (as for what daemon would everyone have, that's another conversation and this post is long enough, but I might expand another time)

also the idea of AF plot with daemons is kind of upsetting, like wtf happens during butler and artemis' respective deaths. does butler's daemon fade away for that time butler is dead?? or does her body remain because artemis kept his brain on ice???

and for artemis' death.... if his soul was torn from his body but remained tied to earth, what does that mean for his daemon? his body dies but his daemon remains alive and conscious??? that would be so fucked up within the lore of daemons. my fucking god. like she's a symbol of hope and certainty that artemis can be brought back, but it's also horrifying and upsetting to see her walking around like a ghost, like something reanimated and fundamentally against nature.

how do these deaths affect their relationships with their daemons? or the invisible strings between them? like, would artemis' daemon be able to travel freely apart from him after his resurrection- oh my god i just remembered the cloning thing, what are even the repercussions and implications of that

Also, again for the ask thing: since I love how you write Artemis, do you have other inspirations for him outside Colfer's books? Like, music, or other characters in books or series, that helps you "channeling" him :3

Oooooh, I love this question !! (and thank you so much for the compliment you’re so sweet 🥹)

To be honest I’ve never really thought about it that way ; Artemis is just a character that I’ve thoroughly obsessed over for almost a decade now :’) so the child is kinda part of my dna now ^^"

But my interpretation of him is probably very influenced by mtv series Daria. This show has been my absolute favourite forever ! My mum had all 5 seasons and 2 feature films on DVDs, and I watched them on loop absolutely everyday, I knew all the dialogues by heart and Daria and Jane were my spirit animals.

I really recommend all of the Fowldom to check this series out ; the main character Daria is extremely intelligent, witty and cynical, she is a great source of inspiration for me in writing Artemis ^^ and also the show is just absolutely great and so freaking funny. (also worth mentioning that I’ve always headcanoned that Juliet had an early teen phase where she was a lot like Quinn ; when I write Artemis and Juliet I’m always inspired by Daria and Quinn ^^)

Another big inspiration, though more recent, is definitely Aurora. She is my absolute beloved, my Stendhal syndrome, her music is everything to me ; and since I am a maniac and cannot be trusted not to combine all my hyperfixations, I’ve always felt like Aurora is very much a “what Artemis could have been", had he had a shot at freedom in his childhood. A lot of her songs (All My Demons, In Bottles, It Happened Quiet, Conflict of the Mind, My Body is Not Mine, Invisible Wounds…) I strongly, strongly associate with Artemis - my interpretation of him at least.

That’s what the key thing must be, though. I think over the years, I’ve really crafted an interpretation of Artemis that really feels like my own. I see him as an initially extremely empathetic, emotionally acute person ; who was broken by his father’s neglectful and abusive parenting, and forced to learn to silence his feelings in the name of Family and Business - and his journey is all about reconnecting with his emotions. I know it’s not that far out there of a take, there are a lot of hints in the books that can point this direction ; but this notion that within Artemis there is a permanent thunderstorm of emotions and deeply embedded guilt, a desire to prove himself worthy of love and respect, is really my main guideline when I write him :)

Thank you so much @laeliana for letting me ramble ^^"