Elleofthestars-blog - XOXO

"On being black and middle class" by Shelby Steele is an interesting read for anyone interested.

Here’s a random creepy fact: one of the tunes that float out of ice cream trucks all summer is a racist song called “Nigger Love a Watermelon Ha! Ha! Ha!,” first recorded 1916 or before.

Rad Luxury - follow for follow

Men often react to women’s words - speaking and writing - as if they were acts of violence; sometimes men react to women’s words with violence. So we lower our voices. Women whisper, Women apologize. Women shut up. Women trivialize what we know. Women shrink. Women pull back. Most women have experienced enough dominance from men - control, violence, insult, contempt - that no threat seems empty

Andrea Dworkin - Intercourse (via echo-chamber)

Babies, don’t let yourselves be manipulated by men like this one. They’re operating on the hope that you hate the money talk more than they do. They’re hoping you’re too uncomfortable. I wonder how many times he’s used the line about true love on newer SBs, and I wonder how many times it’s worked. Hopefully the ratio is shit. Stick to your guns. Remind them that your time is valuable and that if they’re a man of real means, they should have no problem with what you propose. I’m newer, but I’m not so new that I’m naive or desperate. 

Ethnicity vs Race from Diffen.com

Check out the site. It’s really amazing. Even giving an option to compare things to make them easier to understand. Very cool site!

This is a way to find successful freestyling spots, it helps give you an idea of what places to start.

Step 1: Go to yelp.com/(your city here)

Ex: yelp.com/dallas

**********

Step 2: Go to the category that best fits what you’re looking for (Clubs, bars, coffee shops, etc.

Ex: Lets...

So I just received an ask about tips for shopping with your SD, so I just decided to make a post about it.

Go for quality over quantity. Try and have him take you to a store like Barney’s, Bergdorffs’, Saks, etc. as opposed to “regular stores.” I love H&M, Forever 21,...

How do you screen? There's nothing in Canada you can use :(

I know in Canada it’s a little more difficult, but honestly Google is your best friend - you just have to channel your inner FBI/stalker status!

I always start out on Google and usually once you start to search you’ll find out bits of information that you can add to your search & use to help you find more stuff. 

I google any info he gives me access to:- His name- His name + province or state he lives in - His name/email + popular social media accounts (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn etc)- His email (I’ve found a lot info by just googling the beginning of his email before the @).- His phone number - His username (It seems silly but unless it’s tailored to the site a lot of these men use the same damn username for all manner of sites/memberships they have)- His job/company (if he’s shared that with me)*If he doesn’t give you his company name or tell you what he does doing these google search combinations usually will tell me what he does.

Just from Google I’ve found things such as all parking tickets dated back to 1991 for one POT and lawsuits/patents that another POTs company has been involved with etc. If I can find his social media or even any social media belonging to his family members I always make sure to creep because you can get a lot of info that way. 

I Google Reverse Image search any pictures he’s sent me to let me know if he’s jacked one from the internet. Sometimes you’ll get lucky and he’ll have used a picture from one of his social media sites which eliminates another step. 

Hotmail believe it or not has also turned into a really helpful tool to start my screening process. I try to get his email as soon as possible and once I email him from my account if he has a Facebook account associated with the email he gives me once I’ve sent the email that pops up without you even doing anything (I don’t think they realize)!A lot of times you’ll get lucky and these men won’t have a separate sugaring email address and/or will give you their work email on a silver platter too. 

For my US POTs I haven’t yet paid for a membership, but I do use Spokeo to cross reference info I’ve found. It brings up a shit ton of stuff even for free so it’s well worth it. Again, I’ve been lucky with easily finding out a lot about my US Pots, but If I couldn’t find anything out about a guy I would pay for it. It’s a shame it doesn’t cater to Canadians as well. 

* I did have a website that I can’t remember/find the URL to (I’ll search & add it) that did a free criminal record check if you ran the name of the person and the year they were born in the search engine. 

Sorry that this is a novel, there’s nothing better than that jackpot feeling when you find things out. To be honest this is just what I do & I’m always looking to up my game so if any other SBs Canadian or not have anything to add feel free to chime in!

let’s take a moment to ponder over the importance of baby hairs.