Everybody Stop What You’re Doing RIGHT NOW And Celebrate The Last Out Of Touch Thursday Of 2020

Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.

Kinda feel like there's some untapped meme/reaction image potential from old horror movie trailers...

People keep mentioning that Lee Majdoub is the CEO of Stobotnik and an all-around great guy. So nobody has to touch Twitter for proof, have a compilation of his Stobotnik and great-guyness tweets.

my solution to copyright is that everything unconditionally becomes public domain with the creator's death. anything held by a group will lose their rights with the death of its leader; whether it be a CEO for corporations or a president for state media. this will solve no problems but will lead to extremely funny assassinations

thoughts on the Minecraft movie

You know fucking what??? I hate Jack Black. How can one man do the same fucking shtick for 30 years and not be judicially punished for it? "ohh I'm jack black, I'm going to say this sentence in a overly enunciated way!!" Catchphrase!!! "ohh I'm gonna sing about bacon now. Ohhh it's Steves epic bacon song, b-b-bacon!! jazz hands! jazz hands!!" "I'm jack black, I'm going to do a kick, and then at the same time I'm going to say out loud "Karate KICK" and THATS THE WHOLE JOKE! THAT I SAID THE THING THAT I AM CURRENTLY DOING IN A STUPID FUCKING VOICE

I understand that he's nice and all, so he gets a pass. It's always 'Just let him do his thing, he's a friendly guy :)' - how about we let ALL the nice people in the world do what they want ??!!! And then we can throw one big happy nice-guy picnic, where we all tell each other how nice and awesome ALL of our ideas are ?? :3 !!! How about we ALL just agree to be polite, even when someone suggests something that objectively fucking SUCKS? Well, we let the nice guy run rampant on Minecraft and now the game is permanently scarred by this tumor of a film. I played Minecraft as a young teen, all the way back in Alpha. 2010. I feel like I just watched jack black puppeteer its limp rag-doll corpse through a crude slapstick routine. If he's so nice, why has he hurt me?

"The curse of the Pharaoh" trope is born from modern Egyptology and not part of ancient Egyptian beliefs, but I think the Pharaohs would really dig it.

"Fuck yeah I'm gonna curse whoever disturbs my afterlife! How fucking dare they?!"

reblog if you're gay, not gay, slightly gay, or if you just want to launch donald trump into a dying star

As we see a barrage of evil executive orders come in, they are not immediately enforceable and will takes months or years to implement.

That’s still not great, but don’t let these pile up to the point of hopelessness. Take a breath, and look community leaders who will fight it every step of the way.