Okay But Imagine He Keeps Pandoras Name And No One Mentions It Ever To The Confusion Of Everyone.

Cap: That’s because I wasn’t always

JL: what?

Cap: I wasn’t always a hero, to be honest I never wanted to be

WW: (nodding in tandem) true the role of Champion of Magic is not one in the same with being a hero

Cap: oh no I never wanted to be the champion of Magic ether

<cue horrible misunderstandings >

Just thinking about how important it is to Billy that Captain Marvel is the perfect hero.

For one thing, he wears his dad’s face when he fights crime, so he wants to respect him, even in death. Seeing his face in front of a news segment bad mouthing him would make him heartbroken.

And then there’s just Billy’s thoughts on what a hero should be. They should be kind, knowledgeable, selfless, powerful, etc, etc. He wants people to feel hope when they look at Cap. He wants them to feel like everything is going to be okay. He wants to be the hero he never had.

This stays the same even after he joins the League. A part of him thinks he can relax a bit now. He’s been seen by others like him, who say that he is exactly the kind of hero they want on their team. He sees other heroes, like Green Arrow and Flash, and how they feel comfortable joking around and laying back during meetings and monitor duty.

So he loosens up, just a bit. Loosens his shoulders and his smile. Lets other emotions morph onto his face. He feels bad for doing it. It makes Cap less…ideal. But they seem to like it when he talks to them more.

Still, he can’t help but feel like he’s letting everyone down. Like he’s not good enough. Not when he’s Cap, but when he’s Billy. He studies himself whenever he sees Cap on screen, writing in his head, every time he takes a hit a little too much. Every time he isn’t quick enough despite having god-like speed. Every time he makes a mistake. He has to rectify it. He has to.

What will everyone think? If the Champion of Magic can’t be the perfect diplomat, then what good is he?

Meanwhile, the Justice League is repeatedly in awe of their fellow hero. He can rally people together for the common good. Inspire hope. He has the trust of the Big Three, and two of them even call him their brother.

He’s a mediator. Whenever he’s around, he’s able to quell any of the arguments that go on during meetings. He provides a new perspective regarding magic, making the non-magic based heroes understand it more.

He’s like a comic book hero come to life. Always glowing, even in the midst of battle. There’s an aura about him, where you can’t help but put all of your trust in him. He has this big smile that immediately makes them trust him. You can always find him having heart to heart one on ones with just about any hero.

Not to mention, he so dang good with their sidekicks! They actually listen to and respect him, which is already asking for a lot.

They ask him how he does it, and he just says he gets it. Feeling like you’re never good enough. Like you aren’t seen for who you are. Like everything you do is meaningless when people keep ignoring you.

The League is flabbergasted, because how could anyone look at Cap and NOT see the perfect hero?

Them: but your eyelashes are big ?

Shazam, not even looking up: Exactly

Them: wait then…. !!!!!!

Cartoon logic

Marvel: I don’t understand how people get confused by someone’s gender presentation. Like, obviously if they have thick eyelashes they’re a woman, regardless of anything else.

JL member: Cap you realize you literally have the thickest eyelashes I have ever seen on a dude, right?

Marvel: … yeah and?

Bonus: some moments of Billy/Marvel/Shazam having eyelashes

Lex was having a perfectly good day until his … son barged in with his shenanigans.

Kon: I need a favor

Lex, finally a bonding opportunity: whatever you need

Kon: I need you to marry this dude

Lex:… I beg your pardon

Kon: … it’ll make Clark really mad

Lex: ….. go on….

Kon: okay! So his name is Vlad Masters and ….

Lex rubbing his bald head in annoyance: who?

Kon without breaking a sweat and glancing at Tim behind him in the window: Vlad masters!!! The guy that’s been trying to get into your pants for months!

Lex: be more specific ?

Kon: uh, grey hair, kinda tall, has that punk son

Lex rubbing his temples thinking of a way out of this

Kon: he curses in desserts uh

Lex stilled… oh… him… he was… memories of the cute man sloshed into the billionaires head. Well it’s not that he hadn’t thought about it before… Conner coughed into his fist. Lex looked up to his sons knowing expression and all he could think was… oh shit.

Vlad was having a good day, a fine day.

Finally having put his obsession with Maddie to rest, nothing at Vladco big enough to need his immediate attention, and no Jack Fenton or Jack Fenton like situation to end his peace.

He was sat down at his table, eating the cupcakes he baked earlier with a new recipe and some tea.

It was a good day

Something was going to ruin this. So, he sent out a clone, sent it to one of his cupboards, took out one of his bigger teacups, went to his fridge, poured in some mango juice, took an extra plate, and came right back to the table Vlad was setting at.

It dutifully took a few cupcakes and put it onto the extra plate, placed said plate at the other end of the table and gently rested the teacup down beside it and pulled the chair just enough for another to sit down and returned to the original.

Now he waits.

"VLAD!"

Ah, there it was.

The Jack Fenton like situation that would ruin his day.

Just like his father, the boy for some reason lost his ability to use the very there door and instead busts through the wall right beside said door.

But it wasn't anything he couldn't fix.

He brought the highly expensive and his favorite teacup to his lips, content to enjoy the last dregs of peace he can before the boy opens his mouth-

"VLAD I NEED YOU TO SLEEP WITH SOMEONE!"

Vlad choked.

A few minutes later, after a series of coughs and heaving, he stares at his godson with the most incredulous face he could muster. The brat, being Jack's son, instead of giving him further context decides to eat the cupcakes he made without even asking him.

Barbarians, honestly.

He cleared his throat before the boy could snatch another one of his delicate treats. "Explain yourself, Daniel."

"Hm? Oh, right." Danny swallowed, petting his chest before swiping up a teacup (That was filled with mango juice instead of tea, that Vlad, as an ever-accommodating host, laid out for him a few moments before his arrival.) and taking a giant gulp. Danny then sighed. "I need you to sleep with someone, basically."

"I will need further explanation, if your feeble brain cannot understand that fact," Vlad took a slow sip of his tea, eyes closed and playing every part of the refined high-society member he's crafted for himself over the years. "Then I can and will direct you to the door."

Vlad then glanced at his broken wall. "And for the love of all that is holy, please remember that they exist for a reason."

"Yea yea whatever." Danny waved his off, taking up another cupcake and chewing on it. "Riht so a ned yoz ta-"

"Try again, this time without your mouth full so that I may understand you Daniel."

As Danny swallowed, Vlad took another sip of his tea.

"Right so I need you to sleep with Lex Luthor."

And promptly spat it all out onto both his table and his unfortunate, innocent little cupcakes (Danny managed to move his away from the blast) and doubled over into a coughing fit.

Ghost Helpline part 9

Konstelacio walked to the Egyptian palace. Much like how Johnnys bike rode on nonexistent roads Konstelacio walked on invisible ground, she believed the Zone would not let her fall and so it didn’t.

—- —- —-

Tim drove past his old home what use to be Drake Manor. He somehow doubted his family had noticed he sold it. He doubted they had noticed the moving trucks and contractors. He told himself it would be because they were busy. It felt like a hallow excuse.

Once Bruce figured it out he would want answers. Tim had them planned, Masters dubious escapades in criminal activity had been on the decline. As well as Masters sudden disappearance a few years ago, required their attention just in case.

Inwardly Tim had had a single conversation with the man, spotted a gaggle of teens who looked happy and sold it to the man on the spot.

When Tim thought over the conversation later, he would call the emotion that came over him jealousy and decide to ignore it.

—- —- —-

“Your highness, it appears Princess Violet will be sealing an audience.”

“Send her in immediately! “ Tucker shouted excitingly, Violet was such a sweet girl, he adored her visits. She usual came with the pretense of picking up her more technically inclined brother but Chad wasn’t here as of late. Which only meant one of three things.

She was coming here to hide.

She was coming in for a check up. (Doubtful.)

Or she was coming here to ask for help.

“Prepare some light snacks, our comfiest seat and coloring pages.” Tucker hoped she was okay, he would never admit it but if he didn’t know any better he would have assumed Violet was Danny’s clone too. In personality at least. Where Dani had gotten Danny’s loud passion, Violet had gotten Danny’s self loathing. Where Dani had his fearless determination Violet had his self sacrificing down to an alarming degree. Dani had her fathers laugh, Violet had his best friends fear of abandonment.

Yeah, Tucker would never admit it but Danny and his ex-arch enemies kid had a lot in common. He sighed oh well. It was fine, if anything it made him and Sam love her all the more. Their niece, their little constellation.

—- —- —-

Billy breathed a sigh of relief. It was good to be back home.

“Captain Marvel, Dr Fate we need to talk. We have a situation.”

Billy sighed he thought to soon.

Zeus: lolz!

Hercules: L L L

Mercury: Run fuck this noise

Billy shushed them, he just wanted to go home. The faster they got threw this the better.

Batman explained.

Solomon: He’s on to us! Kill him!!!

Billy: No we are not killing Batman

Atlas: he’s a threat to our your family Billy, I hate to agree with the old man

Solomon: Hey!

Atlas: but perhaps it’s time to move on

“Captain Marvel are you paying attention. This is serious.”

“Of course of course. But uh what exactly do you want me to do here?”

“I need information.”

“I don’t -“

“Marvel you are a terrible liar, also.” The man dressed as bat shrugged in the direction of superman. Right Superman, a living lie detector.

Billy: well fuck

Mercury: RUN

Solomon: oh is that it? Well then Billy just don’t ‘lie’

Billy could hear the smirk in man’s voice. Well two could play at this game. But first to get Dr.Fate off the field.

“I’m leaving.”

Well never mind then Fate was doing it for him.

Maybe he isn’t so bad after all.

“Dr Fate we need-“

“All is as it should be. Before I am a leaguer I am a Lord of Order. You would all do better to not interfere with which you do not understand.”

Yeah you tell them!

“Especially not with those as vile as demons.”

Billy took it back the bastard could suffer.

In that moment Fate left and two pairs of eyes landed on Billy himself. Goddamn it.

“So … what exactly do you want to know. I’ll do my best but I make no promises to answer everything.”

“THATS -“

“That is enough boys.” Wonder Woman walked in, “We are her to ask for help not interrogate our fellow leaguers. Now then Batman what evidence do you have to think both the girl and Captain Marvel know one another in the first place.”

“ Coordinates“

“What?”

“Coordinates from the demons location line up with the new coordinates you’ve sporadically been taking for the past year or so.”

“Batman that hardly proves-“

“Yes I know her.” Billy wasn’t getting around this, and maybe he could use it to paint Konstelacio in a better light. After all they had to understand, they were his heroes they had to understand that his sister wouldn’t hurt them. Not unless provoked.

—- —- —-

Clark could see Bruce sag in relief, the quest for answers over. But Clark didn’t think it be that easy, Captain Marvel may be immature but his loyalty was relentless. Something in the way he held himself could only leave Clark to believe that Konstelacio had earned that loyalty. Clark looked at Bruce again and sighed instead of voicing his opinion after all it’s not as if he was the detective, no he was just a journalist. Clark eye rolled internally.

“How?”

“She is… my sister in arms.”

Both him and Diana froze.

// … even by demon standards I assume you’re rather young …..//

Clarks hands clenched and unclenched, “What?” He must have heard wrong? Right, right even demons must care about their young.

“She is my sister in arms. She is a good person.”

“A good person, she’s a demon.”

Captain glowered actually glowered at Batman, Clark thought as he twitched to put himself between the two.

“And so is Superman and he’s an alien, so so what? Or is it different because he happens to look like you?”

Okay but if they see Danny’s eyes flash green the idea pops into thier head that ras brought back Ace and the kid???

Jason growing guilt thinking they might have been a “test batch”

Cujo the Bathound

“Hand over the dog.” Gotham’s reputation for crime and many flavors of strange preceded it, but Danny did not anticipate being robbed at sword point for a dog. Granted, a green, glowing dog does attract some attention, but this was a city with rampaging clowns and toxic sludge. Cujo wriggled excitedly in his arms, tightening the leash wrapped around Danny’s wrist. “This dog?” Danny freed his other hand to point at Cujo emphatically, cartoonishly looking around the deserted alleyway as if the sword swinging child might have been mistaken. “Are you sure? You can have my wallet, it has 15 cents and a Bat Burger punch card, only one more visit for a free side!” “Don’t be absurd.” “Yeah, I heard you used to get a free combo. Punch cards aren’t what they used to be.” The edge of the blade pressed into Danny’s throat, Cujo jumped down and Danny raised his hands placatingly, keeping the leash out of reach of the would-be petnapper. “I’m afraid I can’t do that, what kind of person would let someone take their dog?” The kid’s face softened slightly at that, and Danny took the opportunity to swat the sword away, scoop up Cujo, and run. “STOP!” Danny kept running. Faintly, he heard the click of a device, but no one pursued him. It was a good thing too. He lied about the punch card.

Cujo was Ace the Bathound. Need I say more???

Oh Dani is definitely stealing shit!

Also at what point does archaeology stop being theft? Lolllll

Danny, out of all the titles he could have earned, out of all the jobs he could have gotten in the Zone, never imagined it would have been 'Pirate'.

But really, it fits.

He's wanted in both the Zone and the Living World by the law, he regularly causes property damage, has a fierce reputation of winning every fight he gets into, cheats in said fights to win, and refuses to be bound by the most base instinct of any ghost or halfa; he has no obsession.

He doesn't want one.

Sure, he helps the Living and saves them if required, but he isn't compelled to do so through an obsession.

At least on the Living World side of things, his official job is scientist; he has a ship that's a mix of scientific and old-world galleon, and he travels the Zone recording the cultures and languages he finds.

Well, as a human that's his job. Not like the government knows about his Phantom persona.

Sam and Tucker joined him, obviously, as did Dani and Dan. Frostbite had made him take a few yetis as crew just in case of medical emergencies.

Sam has made it her goal to find rare or extinct plants, from their home dimension or not. Tucker is researching any and all tech they can find. Dani wanted to come along and as Danny's little sister/clone, he didn't want to say no. Dan wants to fight all the things, and Danny...couldn't really prevent his twin/clone from boarding the ship.

He can't see Youngblood anymore, but he knows for a fact that the kid is around; the loving notes carved into the walls of the ship about cool treasures nearby are proof enough. That, and the pirate flag that keeps appearing, hoisted above his ship.

It's gotten to the point that he never bothers taking it down.

Okay, maybe he leans into it a little. Get's himself a fancy hat to go along with some fancy piratey coats he found. In his defense, they're all leaning into it.

Mom, dad, and Jazz had opted to stay on their home dimension and follow their goals there.

Mom and dad for researching ghost biology, since that's not what Danny's doing at all.

Jazz to pursue her Masters in Sociology and Bachelors in Ghost Anthropology.

Not that they never join, but that more often than not they're perfectly content on their home dimension.

It's a small crew, but it's Danny's.

Honestly, it's a million times better than being an astronaut. Instead of just visiting space in his world, he gets to visit different spaces from different dimensions.

With this job, he doesn't have to be anchored to just one reality.

Sometimes, he even saves the Living from different dimensions that get thrown into the Zone.

Like now.

There's a gasping, barely conscious man in spandex sprawled out on his deck.

"Welcome aboard," Danny says wryly, not bothering to get up from his seat.

~~~~~~

Hal Jordan, dazed and disoriented from being quite literally thrown through a tear in reality, finds himself on the deck of what appears to be a pirate ship.

The flag's a dead giveaway.

A man who has to be the captain sits on a crate, draped in pilfered gold and a grand, ethereal frock coat hanging off of his shoulders as he hold what appears to be a tankard of...grog?

It's gotta be grog, the man's a pirate.

The man's also, as the kids would say, leaking Aura.

....No literally, there's like, a slight green glow around him.

"Welcome aboard," the pirate says, a crooked smile on his face as he continues to lounge.

'Oh no,' Hal realizes. 'He's hot.'

Gandalf folds clothes for Frodo

Frodo undoes it and shoved it in a bag

DM: he just folded it all nice for you!!!

Kon would so try to anyway!

My date mate is literally allergic to cinnamon and always attempts to kiss me me anyway XD

It starts with the usual 'Justice League has to summon the Ghost King to battle a world-ending threat.' Stick. They decided to do it in the Fortress of Solitude, which took some time to convince Clark to do, but it was the only place that had the possibility to hold the Ghost King if he went off the rocks, especially with all the added protection John did.

So, most of the Justice Leaguers and their sidekicks stood on the outskirts of the giant summoning circle and watched as it glowed a bright luminescent green, and the middle of the circle disappeared, replaced by a hole that, from Superman's place as he hovered a few feet above the ground, looked like a never-ending waterfall of green liquid.

A few minutes passed as everyone held their breath before the waterfall started moving up. Like a volcano, the luminescent liquid shot up and hit the ceiling, falling into drops around everyone. From the water, a shadowy figure appeared, giant and making the water glow brighter with their presence.

For a few seconds after the glowing fountain continued erupting until stopping suddenly and falling back into the hole, a giant eldritch figure revealed as the hole closed up under it.

It looked sort of humanoid, but the most eye-catching thing was its skin. It looked like the galaxy—stars and constellations, planets, and meteors—the being looked like it was made from the galaxy. The stars and planets spun across its skin? And atop his head were wispy white locks, not held down by gravity and flowing with the air in the confined space. On his back was a long cape that reached the floor, and he (it? She? Did gods have a gender, because this being looked more like a god than Zeus did) bent his legs at an angle to not bump his head against the ice roof.

Everyone watched with bated breath as the king, the being, the god reached inside his cape and seemingly grabbed something, coming out with a clenched fist and slowly moving it towards the youngest Robin, the child. Batman barely had any time to swoop in front of his son when the eldritch being opened his hand, and right there, in his palm.

A lollipop.

A green crystal lollipop that made superman fall from his place in the sky and Jon back away from his friend with a pained expression.

The ghost king just gave robin a freaking kryptonite lollipop.

Meanwhile, danny is just wondering why the child touched by death won't take the treat.

With elves heightened ability never before had one fainted of stress or even fainted in general.

And then there’s Lindir.

(Important political meeting)

Thranduil: Of course the dwarves are late!

Lindir (flashbacks to the last time there were dwarves in Rivendell): dwarves?!??

Elrond: Lindir I was going to tell you but...

Lindir faints.

Thranduil: what the hell!!! Someone get a healer he’s dying!!!

Elrond (sighing): First off I AM A HEALER Second off he’s probably fine. This happens to Lindir quite a bit.

Thranduil: PROBABLY!!!!

Ghost helpline chapter 37

Jason couldnt help but give his entire family the side eye. Seriously Bruce? A family dinner? Family dinner with thier nieghbors?? That he has a crush on ???!!! Pppfff oh yeah this was going to work out swimmingly. Whatever.

Jason didn’t know why he felt so knotted up inside about the whole thing. It’s not like they were going to find anything and “Brucie” has had plenty of guests over before. And yet Jason felt snubbed, Bruce knew Jason wouldnt be able to join in. He was still legally dead and couldnt just pop into joint family dinner like “oh yeah I got better dont worry about it”. No Jason would need to steer clear of the mannor all together.

Meanwhile his siblings would get to tease dad about his crush, grill the Masters family and talk to Damiens new friend. Because seriously Damian making friends, with a normal girl? Just wow. Good for the kid, because he defiantly hadn’t learn that from Bruce he scoffed for fucking hells sake even Vad had a sketchy criminal history on his buisness Dalv co.

It stung, it was so fucking stupid but it stung. Why didn’t Jason get to be there. Why didn’t he get to shovel talk Bruce’s crush, eat Alfred’s food, sit around awkwardly, and tease Damian relentlessly?

Jason knew why. He did. Logically Jason knew it wasn’t an attack on him. That Bruce hadn’t purposefully done things this way to exclude him. That he was/n’t an embarrassment, dangerous and unwanted to meet Bruce’s new crush because he couldnt be trusted. It wasn’t personal, it’s not personal.

Beep beep

Jason glanced down to his burner phone and grinned manically at the photo of the skunk haired man he’d been tracking strolling into a warehouse… ..with someone young and pink on their arm. Jasons stomach rolled in disgust at the age difference, “Well hello misplaced aggression.”

——

Damian had been hanging around the Masters manor regardless of fathers …complications of the heart. He and Violet needed to plan a strategy of course. The plan had to be seem-less to even stand a chance of working. A part of that involved English lessons which thankfully doubled as a cover. Damian huffed to himself as Violet failed to write neatly again. It was odd to watch, she could speak with a fair sense of clarity and understood difficult concepts when spoken to but written language seemed to illude her. It was frustrating to watch, her hands moved wrong twisting against the pencils and often snapping them. Damian watched as her hand seemed to twitch uncomfortably as she finished.

“You’re bad at this.”

“Gee thanks I had no idea.”

“Tt. It’s ridiculous anyone as old as you should know how to read and write at a higher level than a sixth grader.” Damian felt his hand fall down his face, “You text just fine though, your horrid grammar aside.” Meaning a big part of the problem was physical….now that he thought about it … he hadn’t seen Violet without her human disguise despite already knowing her secret. Both forms had gloves. There’s something else going on here.

The assassin felt ice at his back.

“Let me see your hand.”

That coldness remained as a small warmth was thrown against his chest as she unthinkingly shoved her hand in his face and ate away at her sugary processed snack- dirtying her practice writing paper further.

Taking off her gloves gave sight to three short claws black from tip to knuckle, two fingers incased in a familiar metal. He hadn’t expected it at all, was Violet allowing him to see this purposefully? A limitation of her glamor? A benefit of their bond?

Beep beep

Damian dropped the others hand to glance at the text. Father did what!?

“What do you enjoy eating?” What do demons even eat? Can demons be vegans? She does look a tad like a ram.

“Red and dad make the best cakes!!!”

“Tt. I meant real food, and I’m sure you will change you mind at tomorrows dinner. Alfred’s desserts are superior to all else.” He planned to ignore her millionth mention of “Red”, she was beyond obsessed and he was not falling for the bait… again. Ugh.

Violet stilled, “Oh are you staying for dinner tomorrow.”

“No it would seems our fathers have gotten it into their minds to bring us all into their nonsense.” Damian huffed.

Violet groaned, “Uhhh nooo I don’t want to.”

“Yes well as detestable as it will be -“

“Not that I just, I don’t like eating in front of humans.”

A delicate eyebrow rose at the statement.

“This isn’t “real food”, human food isn’t my food.” Blood guts crunching on a heart like an apple, wide green eyes staring at her horrified. Scared.

Damian thought about it more. Pencils breaking, the way her hands shook and holding a fork was probably difficult for her?

“So what do you consider food to you?”

“Anything.”

“Violet.”

“Anything I’m a scavenger demon …” her eyes rolling at the look on his face, “Tendons, bone, eyes, decorative flowers and overgrown weeds. You could say we are real … vultures.” She chuckled at her inside joke.

The way she spit out the term “scavenger demon” had him reeling a-bit. There was an obvious issue there… somewhere. Fear slithered threw the bond unwillingly, self deprecating and shallow. He at least understood this feeling well.

The feeling that screamed :

Don’t look at me. Don’t look at me like /that/.

Well he supposed he at least knew a good dish to have made for her. Hopefully Alfred wouldn’t mind a change in the menu.

—- —— —-

Bruce was NOT freaking out he wasn’t! And he will deny it forever. He just really wanted this to go well. He needed this to go well.

And he loves his children deeply! But sometimes they could all be a bit much….

At… family dinners. They yelled and fought and they were all fairly high strung but the Masters weren’t like them half of them looked like a strong breeze could knock them over dear lord….

“Bruce!”

“Bruce.”

“B!”

“Ow!!”

….please just, just don’t fight in front of Vlad.

—- —- ——

The triplets, sans Ziyad, positively swarmed their fathers closet. This was going to be great!

Klarion and Billy looked over at Dandy’s murderous face, this was going to be awful.