Constantine: I Can Help Keep The Big Bad Tough Ghost Away From You!

Helpline part 2 “Why the hell is a child here?” Hall yelled! Constantine rolled his eyes, “Age is relative … tho even by demon standards I assume you’re rather young eh Sheila ?”

The demon pouted, “My name isn’t Sheila, I told you call me Konstelacio!”

“Right my apologies.”

Damian sneered,”Idiot.” Only to have Dick elbow him,”Don’t.”

“Now then! What do you need?” The girl crossed her arms and slowly paced by the edge of the circle.

“Wait wait hold up! What is the Infinite Realms?”

Demon girl kept on examining the circle, “Exactly what it sounds like.”

“What are you?”

“Rude”

“How old are you?”

“Depends”

“I thought this spell was supposed to be random?”

Dick groaned, “Wally-“ Zatanna put her hand up, “Hold on that actually is an important question. Why did you show up?”

The demons face contorted. “Uh because it’s my job?” Her hands coming up to her chest.

“How do you get a job like this Konstelacio ? This doesn’t exactly seem like a safe job for a kid?” Superman pondered.

She shrugged, “Eh, community service.”

The heroes gapped. Hal’s ring shone, “And what exactly does a demon have to do to be sentenced with community service?”

“None of your business!!!” The girl grew flustered shoulders tensing.

“Was it a violent crime?” Batman questioned

“That’s it I’m leaving!” She stepped closer to the middle of the circle “You humans are so rude!!!”

“Wait wait,” Constantine pleaded “I apologize on behalf of my colleagues. They have simply never met anyone as…” weird, different, odd “magnificent as you o great one!”

She hummed, “Oh no! The Great One is my uncle!!!”

Uncle? What did that even mean?!?! John was gonna have a heart attack at this rate.

“Yes well please don’t leave we truly do need your assistance!”

Batman cleared his throat, “We were trying to reach someone to help us with several world ending threats that have appeared.”

“Yes, you said that you were uh a helpline? Could you connect us with someone else?” Superman spoke in a kind tone.

“Well duh” the girl relaxed, “You need to actually talk about the issue tho and what exactly it is you’re looking for these things can be tricky.”

“Tell me about it. ….ow”

Batman continued, “ There seems to be some sort of disease spreading everywhere as well as a monster running rampant.”

“If it’s a magical monster why not have your magic users take care of it?”

“Captain Marvel and Dr Fate are both currently of world. We also think the disease may also be magic in nature.” Superman butted in.

The demons eyes lit up at the mention of the Captain only to turn to stone right after. Interesting thought Damian this might be useful information.

“ Alright then I’ll need as much info on these issues as I can! Tho I already do have a few ideas on who to contact about it!”

“This is the monster,” Aquaman pulled up photos of a blue glowing dragon in a gold amulet on screen. “It first appeared in Atlantis wreaking havoc in it wake as it took over the mainland along the coast of California. Our magicians were in able to harm it at all! One second it was there the next gone.”

“Uuughgghhhh Aragon!”

Necks almost broke looking back at her.

“Oh great you two know each other,” Constantine’s voice began to rise in pitch, “lovely.”

“What is he? My magic barely did anything to him too!” Zatanna asked

“Yeah,” Wally backed her up, “We couldn’t do anything against that thing!”

“He’s not a thing! He is a ghost his name is Arragon!”

Flash paled, “A ghost?? That thing couldn’t be a ghost !”

“That’s it I’m leaving! You are being rude again!”

John ran towards the circle, “Wait wait hold on now..”

“You are all being so rude! We are people! We have sentience Aragon is a person!” Red hot anger flushed her cheeks as her eyes wavered.

Flash went up to the circle, “You’re right you’re right it’s my fault entirely I’m sorry! Konstelacio!” Barry felt awful the young girl reminded him of Wally before the adoption. Sad and joking. Sad and demanding to be seen for what they are.

“Yeah whatever,” she looked away, “what about the illness ?”

“It started around the same time as the mons- as Aragon arrived. The illness seems to be random causing deterioration of the skin and violent outbursts,” Batman threw the file over the ring of the circle, “Here’s more info.”

“Hhhmm I’m going to be honest I don’t understand half of this stuff. You said it might be magic based?”

WonderWoman nodded, “ Yes I use to hear tales of something similar back on Themyscira. Supposedly it is one of the illnesses Pandora released from her box.”

“Well why didn’t you start with that ? I’m sure NanaDora will be happy to help!”

I can’t stop laughing

You Knew the Demon Head?

For this AU, I suppose we’d have to pretend that Ra’s al Ghul isn’t hundreds of years old, but rather thousands. So pretend for that this specific post he is.

Billy got a call from Nightwing. The man said he’d meant to call for Batman but had instead fumbled and called him instead for help. Cap still came to see if they needed anything. See, it turned out that Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin were all patrolling when one of them found Lazarus Pit. So, now all four of them, now with the added Captain Marvel, were all standing around the Pit watching the green liquid.

Marvel: “Geez it’s been a long while since I’ve seen a Lazarus pit.”

Red Robin: “You know what these are?”

Marvel: “Yeah, I had a friend who used them to stay young.”

Robin!Damian: “The only people who use them for that purpose of the League of Assassins.”

Marvel: “Oh? You know about the League of Assassins, Robin five?”

Robin!Damian: “Robin five…?” *looks him up and down before shaking his head* “I was apart of them.”

Marvel: “Wait, really?”

Robin!Damian: “Yes?”

Marvel: “Wow… Y’know, I haven’t heard that name in so long, and think I get to meet a real life member again. You’re sort of young, but I do remember Ra’s mentioning taking in orphans.”

Robin!Damian: “You say that like you knew my grandfather.”

Marvel: “Ra’s is your grandpa?” *looks him up and down* “I don’t really see the resemblance.”

Robin!Damian: “I’ve been told I look more like my father.”

*silence*

Nightwing: “Uh, Cheese? How do you know about the League of Assassins? Let alone Ra’s al Ghul. I would’ve thought something like this was a little too… gritty for you.”

Marvel: “What’s that mean?”

Red Hood: “He means you’re like a ball of sunshine, and that people like you don’t really associate with stuff like assassins. You normally fight mad scientists or witches or whatever.”

Marvel: “Uh… Red Hood? Your name is Red Hood right?”

Red Hood: *nods head*

Marvel: “I fight against monsters, mind control, and Nazis on an almost daily basis. This isn’t really above me.” *looks back to Nightwing* “Anyways, you asked how I knew him, right?”

Nightwing: *nods head*

Marvel: “Well, you see, a long time ago we used to be best buds!” *all smiley*

*another silence*

Nightwing: “What…?”

Red Robin: “You were best buds with the head of a- sorry, the organization of assassins.”

Marvel: “Yeah! Me and Ra’s go away back. Like thousands upon thousands of years back. I was actually apart of the original LoA if you think about it.

Robin!Damian: “So you and grandfather were comrades?”

Marvel: “Guess so. But we stopped talking ever since I died.”

Red Hood: “Huh…?”

Marvel: “I die, I revive as a new person, and then I remember who I was before, if that makes sense. That’s happened multiple times.” *trying to be as vague about the Champion of Magic stuff as possible*

Red Robin: “So you reincarnate?”

Marvel: “Something like that. It’s not really reincarnation because it’s not my soul that gets reincarnated, it’s mostly just my memories. I become a completely different person.” *looks to Damian* “That’s probably why when your grandpa and I met again, he was a little upset that I wasn’t the me he knew before.”

Robin!Damian: “You’ve both met again?”

Marvel: “We’ve met multiple times over the years. He’s still a little salty whenever he sees me, but I think it’s gone down a little bit.”

*silence*

Nightwing: “I’m still confused though! How do you just become besties with the Demon’s Head?”

Marvel: “Well, he wasn’t always the Demon’s Head, Robin one. He used to be a healer.”

Robin!Damian: “Grandfather was a healer?”

Marvel: “Yeah, he understood germ theory before literally anyone else. You know that right? He was a brilliant man, really. Anyways, when I was just a normal kid before I got my memories, we became friends. Then, when I got my powers and memories back, me and the tribe helped him take over the city.”

Red Hood: “What city?”

Marvel: “You know, the city. The one that Ra’s and his tribe took over after a king sentenced him to killing his own wife, even though the prince of that city actually killed wife.” *said all of that in one breath*

Robin!Damian: “I have a grandmother?”

Marvel: “Yup! I have no idea who your parent is though because when she died, I don’t recall them having any children.”

Red Robin: “I love how you’re dropping all of this lore like it’s nothing.”

Marvel: “Fun fact, after taking over the city, that’s when he started calling himself the Demon’s Head I think.”

Marvel continued to drop multiple lore bombs about Ra’s after that. Meanwhile, Ra’s is minding his own business somewhere else.

Ra’s al Ghul: *pauses whatever he was doing* “Something just happened…”

Okay but this also means they can’t tell the xmen about what happened ether????

Like just yeah Logan came back to life a lot older and sadder and decided to “play” house with a mercenary! Oh no guys something must be wrong!

Meanwhile Logan happy and loving his life with Wade, why do I have this horrible feeling something bad is going to happen again?

Really stupid idea but can you imagine if the TVA swore Wade and Logan to secrecy and then they come back and everyone is so incredibly confused. Like? Wade, what the fuck? Who is Logan and why is he living with you and why does he look like a dead superhero?

Especially with the insinuation that the entire movie timeline spanned over a few days. So Wade goes from hopelessly pining after his ex to bringing home this buff, hairy, muscular guy to live with him without warning after disappearing from his birthday party.

Like he just randomly walked out the door after blowing out the candles, then he mysteriously reemerged with this feral look-don't-touch beast of a man. And he's calling him stupid pet names like "peanut" and "babygirl" and the guy isn't biting his head off?

When asked, Wade just responds that Logan was his best birthday gift ever. Logan's ears turn pink and he covers his mouth to hide the small smile on his face. Wade wraps an arm around his shoulder and grins. Meanwhile, everyone thinks Wade left his own party because of a hook-up call that somehow ended with him landing himself a boyfriend.

For whatever reason Danny cant leave the mansion or is drawn to it or something AND they manage a glimpse at him black haired and blue eyed???

Tim: i think he might be related to you bruce

B: well that makes sense

Tim: B I dont think you understand /the teen ghost is related to you and haunting the manor/

Anyway yeah just the assumption somewhere in this house Danny was murdered ….. and maybe cuz of his ice core he really likes the fridge… and sometime mentions how nice it must be to always have safe food…yeah messed up misunderstandings

Danny was enjoying himself. His new haunt was suprisingly spacious and came with lots of charges who needed protection and care.

The old butler guy, Alfred, seemed to at least have an idea of what was going on. He had been making extra food lately and leaving it out for Danny to eat in a secluded area. Danny always made sure to turn the plate invisible and sneak it back to his hidden passage panic room before he started eating.

In return, Danny made sure to do lots of chores around the manor. Intangibility and wind manipulation made dusting super easy if you knew how to use it right.

Danny also took his job as a guardian spirit seriously. He overheard the bats fighting about not wanting to be coddled on patrol and decided it was best to let them handle themselves outside of the manor. Danny himself hated when people stuck thier noses into his business.

Jazz had screwed him over countless times with her good intentions.

But the manor was different. This was his new haunt after his old one kicked him out. This family had invited him in whether they knew it or not. Also, since the Fentons and GIW don't exist in this world, they'd have a hell of a time kicking him out.

It's best not to let it come to that. So Danny had to make these people love him the way Amity Park never did.

The Wayne's however are rather dense. You would think them being the worlds greatest detectives would mean something, but they kept silently blaming each other for things happening around the manor until they couldn't.

A book being put away when they were done with it or their messes being cleaned up when they came back into a room could be easily explained by how many people lived there. The family entering the dining room, discussing what they were going to order for dinner since Alfred was gone for a week only to find a full meal waiting for them on the diner table? They couldn't brush that off.

None of them could cook.

Kon’s Interlude - Ghost Helpline

Warning: depictions of war, meat eating and throwing up

Konstelacio tries to leave the Watchtower as soon as she entered it. She tried. Two hours later she leaves and erases the summoning circle behind her. She hopes they never call her again as she teleports home.

She has enough energy to teleport it’s fine.

She lands on her ass and stares at the pink carpet. Ugh. Everything in her corner of the house was too fucking bright right now.

“Hello!!! I’m back!!!! … Guys? … Dad?”

Throb. throb. throb.

Bile burned its way up her throat.

Was this it ? Did they leave me? Did Uncle Dan tell them how she’d managed to fuck up without even trying?

“Bbblluubbb???”

Oh a blob ghost.

Right a blob ghost, “Hahaah I’m an idiot of course daddy wouldn’t leave me.” They wouldn’t leave me. At least not Dad and that was enough. It had to be enough.

“Bbbllubbb. Bbb. B. Blurrrb.”

“Haha right! Thanks for sending me the message! Tell dad I love him and can’t wait to see him! And Billy if Billy’s back by now make sure to give him a big soggy hug for me okay!”

“Bbblubb!!” The little slimy looking ball swished its head to hers in what was most likely meant to be a love tap but ended up little more that the creature splaying itself entirely onto her forehead. It left, Violet felt lonely.

Lonely and dumb. How could she forget her family was moving into their new house today?

It explained where everyone was, the empty fridge and missing items. Right, Dad needed this move. He needed, well Violet wasn’t sure what he needed exactly but Dandy said he did. And Violet trusted Dandy. She trusted him with this at least. It was enough.

She smelled something rotting in her nose.

It was enough.

It was enough.

It was enough.

She walked back to her room and looked around. Nobody had packed her things. Her throat burned. She’d fill a bag tomorrow and figure it out.

She laid down in her bed in her room of her dads house.

// “This is mine? Really mine? It’s too pretty. What if I break it?”

“It’s yours, it’s okay. If it breaks I’ll buy you a new one baby I am rich remember?”

“This room is mine too?”

“Yes of course.”

“What it I break it to? What if I break it on purpose.”

“I’m giving it to you, no strings attached. If breaking everything in your room makes you happy then do it. I won’t be mad, because it’s yours okay?”

“Are you mine too then, Dad? You’re mine?”

“Yes”

“What if I break you to?”

“I’ll heal.” //

Konstelacio’s breathing slowed, eyes drooping. It was more than she had ever had before. I was more than she deserved. She smiled cuddled up to her mountain of stuffed animals. It was enough.

—- —- —-

Konner, Conner, Kon-El, Superboy, clone, Kon, clone, Konny, clone, clone boy, it.

So yeah Konner got it. Kon (ha!) stelacio had a write to be upset at Constantine for calling her something she didn’t like. She had apparently asked him not to and he had. Apart of Conner hoped Constantine got cursed. That guy was an asshole.

He gets the snapping defeat of her name, the anger. Conner knew anger well. Something about her made his insides twist. Something in her voice screaming, help me help me something is wrong. He shakes his head and decides to tell Black Canary about it at therapy.

It took a lot of time, and a lot of therapy for Conner to feel okay with himself. With his looks, his voice. Being a clone left him with a lot of self doubt about everything. Where did Superman end and Conner start?

Superboy thought back on the bargaining the league had done over the cure for Vampires Fog and couldn’t help but laugh. Well it was nice to know he at least had a soul in which to barter with now.

Conner gave himself a once over in the mirror before floating out the door. Time for a date with Tim.

—- —- —-

// War was surprisingly boring. When not fighting for their lives all war mounted up to was waiting. Waiting for the next battle, waiting for a chance to wash your bloody clothes, waiting for new orders, waiting for food, waiting for resources, waiting, waiting, waiting. War was boring.

General Dan was angry today. They didn’t have food … again. Violet wasn’t allowed to go hunting and Klarion had decided to stay with her. The mix species battalion had decimated the surrounding area for food a week ago.

Klarion was use to emotional hunger, the physical ache in his stomach rendering the talkative sprite speechless.

Billy was use to physical hunger just fine, telling them stories of Faucet cities kind people with a smile but something about the lack of food had begun to make him twitchy.

Violet was use to both kinds of hunger, so it didn’t matter.

“Billy’s back!!! Violet get up! Look he brought food!”

“There you guys are! Here eat up!”

The trio sat down near their tent. It’s natural for demons to eat meet uncooked, Violet had told Billy multiple times. She didn’t want to be a bother. Half the meat was burnt, no bones and definitely no blood.

Violet ate three bowls anyway. The meat was vividly red enough to play off as blood. It was chewy and sweet and charred in a way the stuck to the back of her throat. It smelled weird and familiar. Then again all burning flesh smelled familiar.Pieces of it kept getting stuck in the back of her throat. Meat wasn’t usually sweet like this. It was juicy, the demons mouth watered as she wondered.

How did they get this? She almost couldn’t believe they had found more game in the woods. It was sweet, Violet knew a type of sweet meat. Sweet blood. Were…. Were they eating a vampire?

Klarion finish off one before looking out into the forest and grimacing.

“Billy Billy you need to eat to!!! You’re a human you need to eat.”

“Of course Vi I am don’t worry. It’s delicious! Some of my best cooking yet. Mmm yum it’s great.”

Right they couldn’t be eating a vampire, humans can’t do that. Whatever Klarion was probably couldn’t eat vampires ether.

Klarion followed Billy’s lead “Yumming and oooing” until the little demonling finished off two more bowls.

Billy stood up to wash the bowls. The air shifted allowing the girl to get a good wiff of the blood on humans pants.

“Horse blood? Are the horses okay? What happened?”

The trio had grown close to their steeds, gifts of their political party, riding them gave the kids an illusion of freedom. Combing, feeding and playing with them had helped the days go faster.

Violet got up and began to look - really look around the campsite. “Billy? Billy? Where’s Fireball? You took him with you hunting right were is he?”

A look crossed both of the boys faces, Klarion downed his tea like it was alcohol. Maybe it was.

“General Dan is bringing the horses back in few hours Vi Vi don’t worry about it.”

True to his word, General brought the horses back and Violet understood were all of the bones must have went.

Everything tasted like ash until the war was over.//

Violet woke up puking.

She wanted her dad, her dad was in Gotham.

She teleported.

Oh my god tho!!!!! Everyone takes this the wrong way tho!!! The drama !!! Someone make a fic and tag me!!!!!

Billy Batson is terrified of the lasso of truth to the point where he will flinch violently away when Diana walks too close to him

Family Discussions

Second hobbit movie - Laketown scene

BFF: Are those pugs?!?? What are pugs doing here!! Are there pugs in the book?

I totally didn’t see the invisibility thing coming!

I thought it was gonna be him throwing himself off the balcony and then turning invisible cuz like just imagine the heart attack that would give everyone XD

@mariastorm

Danny became the head assistant to one Timothy Drake-Wayne after nearly 20 years of being retired from the hero gig. In Danny's opinion,no 16 year old should be managing a multi - million dollar company as a pass time instead the fricking grown adult who owned said company... *cough,cough .....Bruce Wayne.

But then again,what did he know, alot.....he knew alot about Tim and his family of furries...the undead souls of Gotham tended to tell you things if you gave them the chance, he was just some guy in his thirties who had just moved to Gotham just a year ago. He couldn't just walk up to them and offer a free therapy session with his sister to fix the general mess that was the Wayne family unless he wanted the 'batclan' to start paying attention to him and later creeping him out with their stalking. So he chose a more subtle approach ; slowly integrate into their lives and fix their disaster of a family one appointment at a time.

He started off great. Tim began to open up to him in the office as the days went by. They talked in-between work schedules and meetings. He learnt about Tim's likes and dreams,lent an ear when he needed to vent about stuff involving home or school. In a way , Danny had realised somewhere in between that he was slowly mentally adopting Tim as his kid . He ended doing the same thing with the other Wayne children when he met them. Apparently,Tim spoke about him to the others when he was home and they had all gotten curious. Heck he had even met Alfred and they got on like a house on fire . Now he sometimes joins the old man to shop for groceries every other weekend. He had met Bruce as well and let's just say their first meeting involved Danny scolding the hell out of the man for allowing a literal child to manage his company when said child should have been doing child things as well as all the other things and the others had told him Bruce had done. Alfred had patted him on the back after he had finished his speech while the kids had been laughing at their father's expense.

Bruce had surprisingly taken it like a man considering the fact that he was being told off on how to 'parent' by a twink who was his son's assistant and therefore his employee. Danny had expected to be jobless after that fiasco but instead he was invited to dinner that very same week by Bruce himself. Albeit Bruce refused to make eye contact and seemed to have been having a fever as his face and ears were bright red but Danny didn't mind,free food was free food.... Even if he still wonderd why he had spotted Dick and Stephanie spying on them from the hallway with knowing looks on their faces......

Danny didn't even know how but suddenly he was fully involved in their lives; night time hobbies included after they dramatically told him to which Danny had simply responded with an "ya don't say?"and proceeded to go back to drinking his tea with Alfred . Things in the bat-brood were healing nicely;they were talking, bonding and generally starting to look like a true family. A true family with Danny in it. And Danny himself didn't realize this until one fluke .....no.... Two flukes occurred on the night of the biggest gala Danny had ever attended in his halfa life {galas he attended at Sam's mansion included} .

The first fluke ,he had been both happy and embarrassed about.....

Not one or two or three BUT four of the Wayne children had addressed him as 'Dad' . That too in front of a large group of guests and reporters with cameras and recorders . Damien had gone as far as to specify that ,yes they were referring to him and not Bruce..

And the second fluke....

Well, Danny wasn't sure how to feel about that one............

... Bruce Wayne,the bachelor billionaire,the man Danny had come to have a huge slight man crush on,...........

.

.

.

Kissed Danny. Right on the lips. On the balcony.

And Danny being a complete idiot had hiccuped then used his invisibility to hide and later run all while forgetting one tiny thing..

He hadn't told the batclan about his secret yet..and honestly??

Danny blames Clockwork.

People: oh children are just so full of imagination!!!

Me at work: please please write something for your story anything at all I am begging you

Student: nah I can’t think of anything

Alright who’s gonna do it? I see a fanfic of Dilfs hitting on Lloyd only for Javier to get jealous!!!

what's funny is that lloyd can be extremely charming and very well liked but only to one demographic and that demographic is old men, he can get them to like him so easily in comparison with literally everyone else that it's just hilarious. grandpas like him. he's a father-in-law magnet. which leads me to believe that if he wanted to he could totally fuck a dilf-