I Have A Twitter Account Devoted To Aeniith Only Now! Go Follow Me On @Aeniith_ If You’re So Inclined!

Same across all my social media. Also avoiding works by creators that say antisemitic stuff has left me with less and less entertainment to consume.

i finally started just unfollowing people who reblog antisemitic posts on here but now i have run into an entirely different problem

i'm not seeing any fandom posts about things i like on my dashboard anymore. that's the entire reason i use any social media, i want it back

pretty much the only things on my dashboard now are from other jews and they are understandably mostly just posting about the war and their own experiences with antisemitism

why are my options either "i constantly see people saying they want me and my people dead" or "there is nothing fun on my dashboard"

My niece enjoys reading but she struggles with pronunciations of words that don't sound how they're spelt. It doesn't stop her from enjoying reading and wanting to do it, though. Her learning difficulties make it hard for her but she does it because she enjoys it.

We all struggle through life trying to do things we either enjoy or don't.

For neurotypical people, it's not a question of whether or not they can do they things they don't enjoy but a matter of just doing it because it has to be done.

That's not the case for neurodiverse people.

For adhd and autism, it's very dependent on how engaging the things are and how they relate to any interests an autistic or adhd person has.

For depression, it's very dependent on being necessary and treated like it's either the Most Important Thing Ever To Do, or something that is just another motion to perform. There may be no joy in it, but if it's performed then it's over and done with.

For learning difficulties and disabilities, it's very dependent on how things are described, how complex they are, and what the end result Has To Be.

In all these cases, there's always an issue with the question of Can. The issue is that it doesn't matter how much a neurodiverse person may Want or Need to do something, whether or not it's something they enjoy/find unpleasant, it's almost physically Impossible to do the thing because the Brain Refuses To Cooperate.

Imagine you're standing in front of an electric fence. You try to put your hand on it. Your brain will literally stop you from doing so. In almost every case, you cannot touch that electric fence. You might manage it if you psych yourself up and try real hard, but that still isn't a guarantee.

In most cases, you won't manage to touch that fence. Your hand will freeze close to it, maybe even close enough to feel the electricity humming in the fence. But that last distance won't be closed.

You simply cannot do it.

That's what it is like to have a neurodiverse mind sometimes. That's what it's like to be neurodiverse.

You want to touch the fence because it's something you Have To Do, but your brain is saying No, No Thanks, We're Not Doing That and you end up stuck.

And the people who can touch the fence look at you standing there, unable to touch it, and judge you because "look, I'm touching the fence because it's my job and I gotta do it, I don't enjoy it but it's what I need to do, why are you being so lazy".

Sometimes, sometimes my niece just Can't Do The Work she's assigned from school during this period of lockdown and more home schooling. She tries but her brain is physically refusing to let her.

So she gets upset. She gets frustrated. She cries. She tries to avoid answering. She'll say the wrong answer because all she cares about is just giving an answer at this point and Moving On.

It's easy to get frustrated back. It's easy to get mean. It's easy to not understand because I'm not her.

But she's trying and she might be failing at the work but she's trying and trying hard. It's hurting her to try so hard because she's fighting against her own brain with her mind. That's Hard.

Being neurodiverse is a constant battle with your own brain and body, neuroses and anxieties. It's so easy to be cruel and judging when you're not the one on the front line.

It's so easy to call others lazy because you don't see and don't understand the mountain they've had to climb without equipment just to reach the same starting line as you just strolled up to.

My niece is trying. She's always trying.

Her reading will improve with time and encouragement.

It will never improve with judgement and cruelty in the guise of motivation.

To be neurodiverse is to be in a war without end; there are only brief periods of rest spent around campfires with others in the same war and occasional civilians who judge the time spent around campfires just resting to be a "waste of time" and "lazy".

This is what it is to be neurodiverse. This is what it is to be autistic, adhd, depressed, learning disabled, and so on. This is what it is to be Abnormal. And that's okay.

The world and people may say and imply otherwise. But there's nothing wrong with trying to do something and finding your brain won't let you. Brains just be like that, sometimes.

One thing I absolutely won't post on Tumblr is whether I agree with this or that military action on Israel. I talk about it on other spaces but never here - I don't want to get sucked into tumblr arguments with either anti-Zionists or Israel supporters and Israelis. And I would get into a lot of arguments definitely, as my positions broadly support Israel but also take issue with tons of actions during the war - some of which I think were criminal. I prefer to keep such arguments in less public spaces, like discord servers I trust. So I'm not going to comment here on the recent events of Rafah except to beg everyone to remember the common humanity of both Israelis and Palestinians.

Some misconceptions to clear up:

-Polyamory is not necessarily synonymous with “open relationship”. Poly relationships can be and often are closed relationships, involving only the members already present and not seeking out more people.

-Polyamory is not inherently abusive, disrespectful, cheating etc. People can lead happy, loving, fulfilling lives in poly relationships.

-Polyamorous people are not naturally “less committed” to their partners than monogamous people are. Polyamorous people can be and often are very committed to their partners, just as much as monogamous people are. Having multiple partners does not make a person less committed, the same way that you aren’t “less committed” to your friends for having multiple friends.

-Not all poly relationships are sexually oriented. Plenty of poly relationships do not include sex at all, in fact. That being said, there is nothing wrong with poly relationships that involve or are primarily about sex.

-Polyamorous people may have one-on-one sex with each other. Not everyone participates in all sex all the time.

-Polyamorous people/relationships aren’t inherently more “kinky” than monogamous people or relationships. Poly people can have quite vanilla sex lives. That being said, there’s nothing wrong with poly relationships that do involve kink.

-People in poly relationships may have different relationships to each other. Not everyone in a poly relationship feels the exact same way about everyone else. For example, A, B, and C may all be romantically attracted to each other, but only A and B are sexually attracted to each other, and so C is involved in the relationship in a romantic way but not a sexual one. Or perhaps A is sexually involved with B and C, but B and C are not sexual with each other. Or perhaps B and C are not romantically attracted to each other, either! There are different terms for these different sorts of relationships between members.

-Polyamory is not a solution to cheating, disrespect, abuse, etc. in monogamous relationships. If someone is disrespectful/abusive/a cheater while in a monogamous relationship, they’re still going to be abusive/disrespectful/a cheater in a poly relationship.

-If a monogamous partner tries to make excuses for cheating by saying “it’s polyamorous”, then that person is still a cheater, period. Polyamory is about informed consent for all parties involved, and cheating is not. If someone cheats on you and makes these sorts of excuses, you’re fully within your rights to dump their ass.

-Yes, it is possible to cheat on your partners in a polyamorous relationship, and it’s just as bad as cheating in a monogamous relationship.

-It’s not always easy to transition from a monogamous to a polyamorous relationship, even for people who know it’s exactly what they want. Polyamorous people can sometimes still feel jealous and insecure about their partners finding new people to love.

-Some polyamorous people consider their polyamory to be an important aspect of their identity. They may refer to themselves as polyamorous even when single, and they find themselves unable to be fulfilled in a monogamous relationship. They perceive their polyamory as similar to a sexual or romantic orientation. Other polyamorous people may consider their polyamory to be something that they choose to do, rather than a part of who they are.

-Polyamory is heavily, heavily stigmatized in many parts of the world. Polyamorous people deserve the support of other marginalized communities, such as the LGBTQ+ community, and activists would do well to work towards ending stigma and bigotry towards polyamory, and monogamous normativity.

Poly people, feel free to add on to this

on inattentive traits of adhd

tl;dr at the bottom

so today i was at the dentist and they saw that i take adhd meds. he said something like “your case must not be as severe as some peoples. my son has adhd and he is always bouncing off the walls. but i can just sit here and have a normal conversation with you.” 

there is so SO much stigma involved with adhd and it drives me insane. i’m so sick of the “10-year-old boy who can’t sit still” stereotype. this is definitely a way that adhd is presented, and of course they’re struggles are very valid. but neurotypicals only seeing adhd through that lense is so harmful. first of all, adhd is NOT just a “kids disorder”. seriously with this one? every article you find is “my child has adhd how to fix?” or “does my child have adhd?” as if only children struggle with adhd. as if it will just magically disappear. i’m so freaking sick of it. next, it’s the lack of understand of the inattentive side of adhd. this most likely comes from many of the symptoms being more difficult for the untrained eye to pick up on. inattentive adhd isn’t “less severe” then hyperactive adhd or “easier to handle”. it’s just different! as someone who is primarily inattentive, people just seem to constantly underestimate the effect that it has on our lives. they don’t see that we spend hours and hours on a project, all they see is that we turned it in late. they don’t see that we have to actively focus on focusing, all they see is us not paying attention. we have to work longer and harder than our nt piers (i’m not saying we have to work harder than nt at everything, just many tasks that a nt would find easy and fast we don’t because of the way our brain works!), but since people can’t see that, they see us as lazy. “pay attention” “try harder” “look at the board” “are you listening” “look at me when i’m speaking to you” “it’s only a few problems”. these are things i’ve been hearing since i was in kindergarden. this goes for any neurodiverse person: you aren’t “weak” for using your accommodations. they are there to help you, to even out the playing field. i use all of my extra time every time i take a test. is it kind of annoying? yeah. but at the end of the day, it drastically helps me. school and our society in general can be very ableist, and just because you’re struggling with something that neurotypicals aren’t, doesn’t mean that you are “less capable” or “more stupid” than neurotypicals. be kind to yourself and don’t compare yourself harshly to a neurotypical who may be able to do what you can in a much shorter period of time. that’s not fair, because you have an extra barrier to work with. if you struggle with these things and feel unseen, i see you, and there are many others going through the same thing.

if you have primarily inattentive adhd, or inattentive traits in your adhd, or adhd at all, you are such a badass!

!! of course everyone with adhd is valid and a badass! and primarily hyperactive people are amazing and have some of these struggles and some different ones that i don’t fully understand i just wanted to address some things about the inattentive side. i also know everyone’s adhd is different, i don’t speak from everyone whos primarily inattentive and they won’t relate to everything i say!

*this is based off of my experience and research but i’m not saying everything here is a fact, i just want to start a discussion.*  

i realize that i just wrote an extremely long post about adhd, so here’s the very crucial tl;dr:

inattentive adhd is so valid and isn’t “less severe” then more hyperactive forms of adhd.

just because people can’t always see your problems right away, that doesn’t mean they aren’t valid.

you aren’t weak for using accommodations!

just because somethings takes longer for you than a nt doesn’t mean you are bad at it, or that you are stupid.

open family and abuse

Guys, please be aware that there are some people in the consanguinamory community or on incest forums who might throw around words like “open family” as code for abusive behaviours involving the abuse of minors. Grooming is abuse. The concept of “open family” often implies grooming, whether these people admit it or not. This topic needs to be addressed sometime more properly, but for now, please be aware. Open family is a code word used by these very sick individuals, just like the term “MAP”.

Consanguinamory allies do not support grooming.

Haven’t been feeling like logging on for a few days. I’m still on twitter break so disabled my integration. Discord is really enough social interaction for me as is.