Columbia Student Flashes The Peace Sign After Being Beaten By Riot Police At An Antiwar Demonstration,

in other news, my grandfather died yesterday. he was suffering from dementia and got physical four years ago when i last visited him. he was in and out of hospitals for a while. i was told there was some kind of tumor. they just dropped it on me nonchalantly. i feel nothing. i want to disappear and never be found.

if i bring my “im so unbearably unhappy” to my parents they tell me to suck it up and finish my degree but if i bring it to my friends they’re like no literally go insane change ur last name move to mountains make art live free its such a crazy contrast im being pulled in fifty thousand directions and we’re not even halfway thru the year yet im convinced im not making it to next month if i dont make some major shifts but the thought of dropping out and sticking that label onto myself forever because of my mental health is terrifying and an endless opportunity for these people to write me off as “dysfunctional” again when im literally still working thru the traumas of my teenage years because of them its such a catch-22 to leave me with some useless economics degree and call it a day and such a death sentence to me i cant imagine paying all that money and wasting all that energy to go on to play with fake numbers in the fucking office all day

“A self that goes on changing is a self that goes on living.”

— Virginia Woolf

you obsess over your identity in relation to others while your soul rots inside of you