Sometimes When Dicks Just Too Tired To Deal With The Batfam’s Shit He Starts Encouraging Them.

Tim: If I got dipped in the Lazarus pit, it would be over for you guys.

Damian: I highly doubt that.

Tim: You would be the first to go.

Dick:

Dick: Tim, what do you mean by 'go'...

Tim:

Dick: TIM WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY GO

black hair, blue eyes

It’s a coincidence, with Dick, and Bruce thinks little of it. They share so much beyond dark hair and blue eyes, beyond trivial appearances. Besides, Dick enjoys putting on a show when Bruce’s colleagues gape at him, when they swear the boy looks exactly like his father and question where Bruce has been hiding him all this time. “Sent me off to a circus for eight years. Can you believe it? Dad,” he’ll say, solemn, hand over his heart as he clutches Bruce’s tailored sleeve. “I bunked with an elephant. How am I supposed to function in high society now?” Bruce ignores him, ignores the polite, bemused laughter that accompanies his charade. It hasn’t yet been a full year, but the boy is laughing, the boy is calling him “Dad” with no hint of sorrow, and Bruce realizes they don’t share as much as he once thought. Dick refuses to remain a boy forever, and Bruce isn’t as careful with Jason. His eyes glint blue like the gunmetal of the hubcap he’s trying to steal, and Bruce steals him instead. Drags him screaming from the streets, binds him in a cave and lays down the rules for belonging to him. Bruce takes him from the night, returns him to the night, and Jason’s eyes burn with a fire Bruce has long since extinguished in his own.  It remains only a matter of chance. Alfred comments on the parade of dark-haired boys that have passed through the halls of Wayne Manor, and Bruce ignores it still. He ignores it until the day that blue fire goes cold in Jason’s eyes, until he cradles the lifeless form in his arms and wonders what might have happened if the mugger had shot him, Bruce, that night long ago instead of killing his parents.  No more, he tells himself. The end. Dick joins him at the graveside, and Bruce can’t bear to look at him, or his own reflection in the lake that borders the grounds. He focuses on the wispy gray of Alfred’s hair instead, tries to forget that it was black and full when he was a younger man. 

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Okay okay. Hear me out. Xisuma finds out because he has to go to the Life Games to get Grian’s real body back, Pearl had someone else(maybe Cleo? Or someone else, IDK). fWhip finds out because he has to grab Jimmy and then later Pearl.

I've seen mcyt aus where both Grian and Jimmy are living dolls. I propose an au where watchers/listeners all have dolls or sculptures for fake bodies and their real bodies are tucked inside like hermit crabs. They fake bodies don't respawn, they have to sneak back and crawl back inside

part 2 lmao

had some time today and i cant stop thinking about it so yes my sleep has been exchanged for this stupid thing,,, sorry i cant color it properly i spat this out in an hour hngg 

more og!elias stuff here

Perfectly Comfy

Fox: *after watching Obi-Wan yell at the chancellor through a glass wall with no idea what he was saying because soundproofing but amused cause he just KNOWS that smile means Sheev is only holding back the rage of cold blooded murder because of witnesses* Heh. Cute.

Obi-Wan: *yelling at Palps for telling his kid the Jedi will kick him out for being married and now he’s throwing accusations around and about to go public with Palps hanging out with little boys by threatening their guardians and ruin him forever*

Palpatine: :/

Fox: *after Obi-Wan storms out of the room* Respectfully, like /super/ respectfully, do you even know you were being watched by an entire floor of secretaries and clone guards who def recorded that?

Obi-Wan: Don’t know, can’t care, I’m gonna spread rumors the Chancellor likes little boys now.

Fox: 😨… why didn’t I think of that…

Three hours later

Fox: *storms into the officers lounge* Cody! I’m marrying your general. Or bedding him. He’s worthy of this deece.

Cody: *halfway through his seventh caff of the day* …listen. I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that, and give you a five minute head start.

Fox: Fair.

Rex: I hate everyone in this family.

Obi-Wan: *hangover drunk but not blackout drunk in an elevator* Hey, did you know I can do a standing split?

Cody: *has tapped that before, has had 15 cups of caff and is vibrating into a new reality* Haven’t seen it but I assumed.

Rex: People ask why I don’t wanna go to the bar with you two.

Anakin: *filming Obi-Wan trying to crawl the wall like an exorcist scene* We’ve been stuck in this elevator since the last gymnastics you did, Obi-Wan, maybe stick to the floor?

Obi-Wan: Okay. Cody get on the floor with me.

Cody: Why??

Obi-Wan: I don’t wanna float away.

Cody: Noah Fence. But if I sit down right now I might implode.

Rex: I’m so embarrassed to know them. I would actually rather die than be rescued from the same elevator with these two.

Anakin: *holds up his saber* I mean, at this point it might be worth Padme paying for the damages-

Obi-Wan: *starting to cry cause Cody won’t cuddle*

Cody: *humming at an alarming volume In overstimulation*

Rex: I don’t even care anymore, get us out of here so I can bleach my brain. Now.

Anakin: On it, boss!

more Callum, self-appointed freeloader Dark bodyguard of the Lonely avatar 

Tim, inspecting his nails like a teenage girl: it’s not MY fault your sense of humors trash.

Superman: Okay, why are you mad at eachother

Conner: Because someone thinks it's funny to jump off buildings and force me to catch them!

Tim: It is funny.

Prompt 88

  In a world where every human starts with blood that’s a very bright red, only darkening by one taking another’s life, Tim is very careful. Apparently even using explosions in warehouses and wherever else the league of assassins had set up counted as killing, to his slight horror. He couldn’t let his team know of course, even if they joked about joining him if he turned villain. 

  It was one thing to joke, but if they saw his blood, pitch black and dark enough to nearly swallow the light around it? He really doesn’t want to see the horror or disgust. He isn’t going to let anyone know if he can help it. 

  So it’s a really shitty situation when one of the henchmen of one of the rogues decides to break his nose and about fifty-something people are suddenly very aware of his very high kill count. He has a choice here. And he isn’t entirely sure if he wants to deal with the consequences of either of them.