Tim: I Need To Have Plausible Deniability So That My Team Don’t Think We’re Going Supervillain Just

Polyarchives in s5 would be so funny, it'll be like the Anti christ and his three weed smoking partners who are way more murderous than he is

I LOVE THIS DKFIFBDJ

Jon: tired, has his partners all tied to kiddy leashes

Tim, Sasha, and Martin: all trying to deal with the fact that seeing Jon murder awoke something inside of them but are dealing with it by telling him to kill more people

Tim's Birthday, he's about to open Bruce's gift

Tim, dead stare at Bruce: If there is any form of hologram in here, I am killing everyone in Gotham, including myself

Bruce, terrified: Oh..., uh, well good thing there's not

Tim: Are you sure?

Bruce: Yes

Tim, opening the present: Oh, a new camera. Neat.

Everyone:

Tim:

Everyone:

Jason: Okay, what the fuck was that about

Tim: He knows what he did.

"Qui-gon traumatised Obi-wan!!"

Bold of you to assume that Obi-wan Kenobi did not immediately turn around and traumatise him back. Obi-wan does not have daddymaster issues his master has padawan issues.

He returns from MelidaDaan with the power of being 14 (derogatory) and excessive weaponry on his side. Qui-gon's being called by the teachers cause his padawan is teaching the other kids how to make shivs and also unionise. He's sneaking off to the lower levels to hustle sabbac games in order to buy tiny blasters he can keep in his tunics and boots.

When Xantos breaks in to the temple Obi-wan tells him that it's frankly embarassing for him to have had Qui-gon Jinn of all people living rent free in his head for so many years.

Okay okay. Hear me out. Xisuma finds out because he has to go to the Life Games to get Grian’s real body back, Pearl had someone else(maybe Cleo? Or someone else, IDK). fWhip finds out because he has to grab Jimmy and then later Pearl.

I've seen mcyt aus where both Grian and Jimmy are living dolls. I propose an au where watchers/listeners all have dolls or sculptures for fake bodies and their real bodies are tucked inside like hermit crabs. They fake bodies don't respawn, they have to sneak back and crawl back inside

Au where everything is the same except Mk monkey form looks like an exact copy and paste of younger macaque (aka. Long White fur, only thing that differed is the ears and the peach colored mask) (going off that headcannon that macaque had white fur but then once he got revived it turned black btw) and it pisses wukong of to no end. Because like how??? You have brown hair as a human. How the fuck do you have white fur as a monkey?? How do you not look like me at all???? You have my powers???? How come we share nothing else?? Wtf??

It also pisses macaque off too because Mk does NOT know how to take care of his new fur at all. For the longest time everyone thought his fur was grey or like light brown and Mk just has to awkwardly explain that “oh yeah no my fur is white but it gets dirty really easily so I kinda just let it fester all day until I shower”

Macaque having had white fur for centuries and having it just come back thanks to lady bone demons ice thing: “YOU DO WHAT NOW???”

Bro gets so unbelievably offended about it too- he literally drags Mk to the nearest lake when he first hears about this on flower fruit mountain and washes him like his a baby monkey. He takes out a brush from his shadow portals and starts brushing mks hair and everything. Wukong just stares wide eye at the fact that macaque was treating his successor like a little kid and going off on him like “I cannot believe you. Did wukong never teach you proper hygiene or what? In the new age of human technology and you decide to just let your fur suffer? I did this because I didn’t have a better option back then but you- I will teach how to take of your fur like it or not you little shit-“

Wukong is just in shock through most of this process but does start laughing his ass off of once the shock wears out and just a sad soggy Mk getting chewed out by macaque remains

Mei, Baihe, and Redson are all absolutely in love with Mks white hair btw.

Baihe and Mei love to play around with it and the biggest reason as to why Mk keeps his fur fairly long. Baihe loves to braid it and decorate while Mei just want to dye it constantly (and also loves to play with it during cuddles)

And because I love spicynoddles: Red son just thinks mks looks fucking majestic. Especially when he has the really intricate braids with gold decorations because Mei knows how to make her best friend look fabulous and will weaponize it

He does this every time they end up in a windy place😔 doesnt even have to be that windy honestly, he'll just do it

Awesome

sick and tired of yhese guys honestly they need to perish ,,, smth smth stage three of postmortem changes is rigor mortis , stage tthree of grief is bargaining , the anatomy of a hug, the sentiment of wanting to live inside each other’s rib cage , etc etc

Headcanon that when Tim first started as Robin, he promised himself that he wouldn't die like Jason, and then proceeded to live out of sheer force of will.

He gets shot in the heart or blown to smithereens, and fifteen seconds later, he is picking himself off the floor like it's another Tuesday. Won't even acknowledge it happened. The type of guy to slap a bandaid on a stab wound and walked away with a flat line on a monitor.

He lives out of spite, solely so he can look at his siblings and go "Well, at least I didn't die" whenever one of them annoys him. With the amount of improbable stunts Tim pulls, Damian doesn't even think he is human anymore.

(Bruce loves his son, but sometimes he adds holy water into the coffee maker just so he can be sure Tim did not join the demon realm. Jason is less subtle about pulling Tim into churches to see if he will burn and melt. He does it a grand total of 7 times before Dick hosts an intervention about how loving your brother means you have to stop trying to exorcise him.)

Stony silence rings from the other end of the line, but Jason knows Bruce is listening. Listening and running through several possibilities of how someone could have gotten this number while simultaneously tracking the call signal.

This is gonna be fucking gold.

Time to sell it.

“Dad,” he sobs, pitching his voice until it breaks, teeth chattering exaggeratedly, “Dad, please, I’m scared, I-“ Jason cuts himself off with a scream and another series of sobs, “Please, I can’t— it’s locked! Please, no, Dad, it’s locked—“

A sharp intake of breath, the dull thump of something heavy colliding unexpectedly.

“Dad!” Jason cries, calling upon every single drama class he’s ever had, “Please… please- it’s almost to zero- please, I’m sorry, please, please, it hurts so much-“

Bruce breaks.

“Jason, Jason, hold on Jaylad, hold on, I will find-“

Jason smashes the phone against the marble dress of the creepy angel standing guard over his grave. The pieces vanish into the wet grass, like an occult offering eaten by Gotham’s soil.

Then Jason turns and walks away with a gleeful little smile.

But not without flipping the stupid angel off one last time.

— Grave Pretender sneak peek

Fox: *after watching Obi-Wan yell at the chancellor through a glass wall with no idea what he was saying because soundproofing but amused cause he just KNOWS that smile means Sheev is only holding back the rage of cold blooded murder because of witnesses* Heh. Cute.

Obi-Wan: *yelling at Palps for telling his kid the Jedi will kick him out for being married and now he’s throwing accusations around and about to go public with Palps hanging out with little boys by threatening their guardians and ruin him forever*

Palpatine: :/

Fox: *after Obi-Wan storms out of the room* Respectfully, like /super/ respectfully, do you even know you were being watched by an entire floor of secretaries and clone guards who def recorded that?

Obi-Wan: Don’t know, can’t care, I’m gonna spread rumors the Chancellor likes little boys now.

Fox: 😨… why didn’t I think of that…

Three hours later

Fox: *storms into the officers lounge* Cody! I’m marrying your general. Or bedding him. He’s worthy of this deece.

Cody: *halfway through his seventh caff of the day* …listen. I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that, and give you a five minute head start.

Fox: Fair.

Rex: I hate everyone in this family.