I'd Like To Write This, I'm Gonna Write This :) Except Alex Is Gonna Be So OOC And So Is The Monster.

When the entire sequel trilogy could’ve been avoided by canon DinLuke

Ben: Wow cool helmet Uncle Din, can I try it on?

Din: Sure kid

Ben: *puts on the force resistant beskar helmet* Wow! I can’t hear the evil voice in my head telling me “I should do murder” anymore!

Luke, Han, and Leia: …the what?

Dp x Dc au: Normal is Good

Okay so hear me out— i see lots of “you can’t control Danny he’s a wild child” premises and like, I agree, I love that, but JUST hear me out. Danny who is just entranced by being treated like a NORMAL KID.

I think for best results this should be done with de-aged Danny so he’s a bit younger, but it can def work with regular Danny too.

Danny winds up running around Gotham for one reason or another doing INSANE SHIT to try and help or just survive and his family is out of the way. The explosion, Bad Fentons, etc— and one of the bats picks up Danny. This can be a dad!Jason, or dad!Dick, or classic Bruce Adoption. But they see this little shit running around and are like “no fucking way, not on my watch you little maniac”

Now, a lot of people use the “Jazz practically raised Danny” card, and I love that card and fully support it, but she was also a kid. With no other parents to consult. Who was raised by the Fentons originally and def has no clue what normal parents are like. So she probably didn’t exactly measure up to how a kid is MEANT to be raised. So Danny still had an incredibly strange childhood that just was Not Normal, but I feel like we see Danny with a deep desire to be normal. He doesn’t even really like being a superhero that much, he just wanted to be a kid.

So he gets bat adopted, and Danny is just functioning how he did growing up with the Fentons, which is No Restrictions Do What You Want. And then his bat dad (using Jason for this) is like “No. It’s Bed Time.” And Danny. Danny is ALL for that. He’s bewildered. Mystified. He’s not grumpy about being told what to do at ALL, because he’s just so shocked.

“You’re serious? You’re fucking dead-ass serious? It’s bed time? Oh my god this is so cool. I’ve never had a bed time before! This is great!” Because this is the first time he’s EVER been treated like a normal child by a parental figure. He just got sent to bed. Wow.

Having a parent who is in charge of keeping him healthy and actually enforces Danny taking care of himself is kind of cool.

“Eat your vegetables, they’re good for you.” And they won’t try to eat him back? Fuck yeah, he’ll eat his vegetables!

“No you aren’t allowed to go out at 2 in the morning, go back to bed, you have a doctors appointment for your yearly checkup tomorrow.” oh ancients, Danny has always heard other kids complain about not being allowed out at night, but to have himself told he can’t? This is so weird. And he’s never been to a yearly check up before!

“Brush your teeth before bed” “I can’t get cavities, I’m dead!” “Ya know, for some reason I don’t believe you. When was the last time you went to the dentist? Are you sure you can’t get them?” Danny has 7 cavities.

The first time Danny gets to actually use the “my dad said No” excuse, he is ECSTATIC. Jack and Maddie have LITERALLY never told him he can’t go out somewhere. Ever. He’s in a whole new world where he doesn’t have to fight ghosts, or be a hero, or anything and he loves it. He has a normal kids room without deadly weapons in it and normal kid hobbies and a fridge full of normal food and a parent who enforces a bed time, and it’s weird as hell and it’s great. Normal is pretty damn good, he has no clue what Sam and Tucker were always complaining about. Shits sweet.

AITAH?

For extra context, neither of us have actually dated anyone before so this was our first date.

I(female, teenager) have been talking with a boy in my class. He's nice, compliments me often, and has met my mom on our first date(she was chaperoning and he was pretty cool about it). He's a genuinely nice guy who seems to actually like me. However, he hasn't shown any interest in anything I haven't mentioned except for cars. He doesn't talk about his own interests, instantly shifts or derails his opinion to match mine, and only really answers questions that agree with things I've said. I'll be blunt and say that I'm a rather intelligent girl and that he's a little dull. I feel like he's shifting himself so that I like him more. I can see myself in a happy relationship with him but at the same time can only see myself dulling my intelligence to be more on his level. My mom has told me that he doesn't seem like he'll stimulate my brain in the way she knows I want and need. I don't know what to do because I like him but I feel like he's changing himself into someone I'd like more.

world's last pseudo polycule consisting of God, a Spider in a human suit, and a very tired man, who'll stand between their loved ones and anything that'll want to do em harm with his shitty human axe

season 5 tim being the protector of their little group 😤💪

[apocalypse blues tag] (bonus a convo w/ @thefuturewithoutus bc tim being the protector is important to me)

the idea of jon reaching like top god status and tim still like, putting himself in between him and the people that might want to harm him plagues my mind..... peak excuse me he asked for no pickles but make it dramatic hgsgf .

all powerful jon and tim has like an axe but it's the intention that counts. let him believe that .

i think partly its jon letting him believe that for tim's sake, bc god he deserves to have Something, but also? tim bothering to do all that, to literally put a fight against some random monster they find on the road for him, it almost makes him feel like a human, perhaps (sidenote its even funnier in the small window of time where martin joined the party bc its like, literally God, a big fucking spider in a human suit, and Just A Guy with an axe, the latter being the main offense of the group sdfgdg) .

and i think tim's so protective at that point it'd be like a reflex to just put himself in between jon and danger Nevermind jon being all powerful he's their little attack dog .

he's filled with love and the leftovers of anger and he's lost everyone he loved at least once even if Some came back he WILL protect them damn it!!!!!!!!!!! .

tim recuperating from his season 3 persona and being funny again and loving but still having the burning rage and hatred he only takes out for the fears... love it

This is amazing. Like, Lex is OBVIOUSLY a bad guy but he seems so genuine and seems to ACTUALLY value that Kon won’t do anything for him now. Sure he thinks he can convince him but there aren’t threats, actual fear, or anything of the sort being used so he’s better than canon(that everyone ignore… which I prefer) Batman.

An excerpt of morally-ambiguous-dad!Lex for @robotogato to hopefully enjoy, haha.

"Clones really don't get soulmarks, though," Kon says in frustration. "It doesn't even make sense that I'd have one."

"Well, I suppose there's the possibility that I just want you so badly that it happened anyway," Lex Luthor muses idly. "A Luthor doesn't generally accept being denied what they want."

"Very fucking funny," Kon mutters, shooting him a glower. "I'm being serious here, asshole."

"Hm," Lex Luthor observes, inspecting him neutrally. "Not even a moment where you let yourself want to believe that, was there."

"Why would I wanna believe that a bastard like you wanted me?" Kon sneers at him.

"Because I am the only person in the multiverse who would burn down reality for you without hesitation," Lex Luthor says like he's talking about the weather or something. Like he's just stating a totally inconsequential fact or reiterating something as obvious as the sky being blue.

Like there's no question there at all.

"I hope you fucking die and I hope it fucking hurts," Kon hisses as the whole world seems to bleed red, just about choking on his fury.

"Well, it will if you don't close your eyes," Lex Luthor says, raising an eyebrow at him. "Quickly, ideally."

"Wh–" Kon is almost stupid enough to ask, and then he realizes and immediately screws his eyes shut, snapping his hands up over his face just in case.

His eye sockets feel like they're on fire.

"Ah, I suppose I live another day," Lex Luthor says. "Rage and anger are notable triggers for the heat vision, if you're still unfamiliar. And apparently arousal as well, although I have very definitely never encountered that version so I can't say if it's more or less potent than rage."

"How do you even know about it, then?" Kon asks, hating that he can't trust himself to look at the bastard without killing him. Lex Luthor could be doing any stupid fucked-up thing right now and he'd have no fucking clue.

"I am a very intelligent person who can afford very good information," Lex Luthor says. "And I am also more intimately familiar with Kryptonian DNA than quite possibly anyone else on this planet, Superman included."

"Superman has Kryptonian DNA," Kon retorts dubiously.

"He does," Lex Luthor agrees. "His special little gift from dumb luck and blind chance. Some of us actually had to put in a bit of effort to get that kind of power, though."

"You don't have that kind of power," Kon says. "You have money and the fucking bullshit fear that you put into people."

"Ah, but I have you now," Lex Luthor counters mildly. "Now don't I."

"You don't," Kon snaps.

"Oh, give it sixteen years or so," Lex Luthor says, making a dismissive gesture as Kon's eyes finally stop burning long enough for him to risk a glare at him. "Your full powerset should be in by then, and I imagine I'll have had a bit of time to change your mind somewhere in there."

"I don't care what whatever custody law bullshit says about it, I'm not gonna stay with you," Kon says tightly. "Sure as shit not for the next sixteen years!"

"Oh?" Lex Luthor asks, raising an eyebrow at him. "Then where exactly are you intending to go long-term? Just planning to stay in a lab for the rest of your life?"

"Why the fuck not?" Kon says in exasperation.

Lex Luthor's eyes narrow.

"Oh," he says like a realization. "Someone's actually made you assume that you belong in a lab, haven't they."

"Yeah, I can't think of a single unrepentant bastard who might've had a hand in me belonging in one of those," Kon bites off darkly. "Real fucking mystery there, huh."

"Hm," Lex Luthor says.

My personal order:

Dick- the Heir, the First

Jason- The Lost Son, The Returned

Tim- The Favored, The Savior(because Tim saved B from himself)

Damian- The Blood Son, The Baby

If chaos was personified I think it would be Damian. Tiny child filled with rage and equipped with far too many weapons.

They look SO CUTE altogether!!

I love this au so much. Bats on thrones makes me so happy.

Just-just ues.

Branzy is not some innocent waif by any means, but I feel like everyone misunderstands the ways in which he matches Clown’s freak. Particularly, they want to subvert what they view as the architypical dynamic between Branzy and Clown without any real regard to how Branzy's personality actually meshes with Clown's. They recognize that Clown’s intimidation of Branzy is surface level, but don’t seem to grasp what’s going on below that to give Branzy his own edge over Clown.

Branzy is a homicidal maniac in his own right, and certainly has aspirations of being the kind of murder machine that Clown is, but he just does not have the fighting skill to back it up, nor was he a particularly skilled engineer when he first joined Lifesteal. At his core, Branzy is a coward. He gravitates towards whichever player or team he thinks is going to protect him, and he'll stroke their ego to get in their good graces. He gets by on his charisma and charm.

Clown, despite having a clear advantage over Branzy, still frequently comes across as uncomfortable with Branzy's attention, while also craving it and seeking it out. He's also a deeply reserved individual. Even when he's emoting he's still very quiet and even tempered. He plays his cards close to his chest. He's a loner. He has his reputation in part because he's unreadable and intimidating. He was coming off of a season where he hadn't died a single time. He’s an unstoppable force without an immovable object.

So here's the scenario: You're a stoic assassin. Usually you like to work alone. Other people slow you down. But you want revenge and you want to execute it in a particular manner that just happens to be outside of your wheelhouse. You have to team up with someone, and it just so happens you know someone with passable talent and a common enemy. You can tell he's afraid of you, and he should be, because he can't even beat Spepticle in a fight, how would he ever take on you?

But he's also... strangely affectionate. You box him in and he lets you, even as he's shaking with fright. You flirt and he flirts back. You're used to letting your reputation speak for itself, but here he is singing your praises to anyone who will listen. He puts all the credit for the collaboration on you, and downplays his own contribution. He sticks around even after you've exacted your revenge, and he still has nothing but good things to say about you, no matter how much you push and prod and scare and tease.

The fundamental difference between Branzy and Clown is vulnerability. Branzy has had no choice but to embrace his, while Clown has done everything in his power to excise it from himself entirely. Branzy allows himself to have big emotions and Clown barely speaks above a whisper at any given moment. When it comes to a fight, of course there isn’t much that can scare Minecraft’s Deadliest Assassin. But Clown has no idea how to navigate emotions, while emotions are Branzy’s greatest asset. People relate to Branzy, they trust him, and he uses it to manipulate them right into their traps. He can trick others’ emotionally as easily as Clown can cut them down with his sword. His relationship with Clown was made on the foundation of betrayal; he sacrificed his alliance with Vitalasy for Clown's protection. It was more important to him to stay on Clown's good side than remain loyal to his previous team, and this is because he felt, with 100% certainty, that Clown offered him more than Vitalasy did. And Vitalasy never saw it coming. 

That’s what makes Branzy so terrifying to Clown. Because he trusts Branzy. He lets his guard down around Branzy. He lets himself be vulnerable with Branzy. What if Branzy’s just manipulating him too? Or worse. 

What if he’s not?

People keep forgetting that he went villain with Tim. Like this boy is RIDE AND DIE.

I hate when Bart Allen is shoe-horned into the role of "silly speedster guy". He is so much more complex. He is desperate to do good, he spaces out, he is so protective of the people he loves, he is angry (with the world and himself) more often that one might think, he is firmly loyal, he is fighting an uphill battle against his own nature.

He is not just a goofy guy.

Duke: … sounds real

Tim: Careful, the less you use your power the more likely you are to use it by accident

Duke: Why do you know that

Tim:...

Tim:......

Tim:..

Tim: I know everything.

Cal may have started off shy, but Obi-wan was pretty sure that was purely based on walking in to find his thesis advisor face down on his desk.

short panel strip for @shortcuts-make-long-delays's cwrb fic 'sourdough: flour, water, and starting over' which, as well as being a hilariously clever and super adorable codywan piece, has this mentorship scene between Cal & Obi-Wan that made me positively melt.