Saw This On Reddit: ORIGINAL POST

All he can think is a supercut of other people’s letters they’ve quietly sent to each other. Words that went down in history. “Meet you in every dream … Keep most of your heart in Washington … Miss you like a home … We two longing loves … My young king.” One day, he tells himself. One day, us too.

You know that thing where you see a gorgeous view (left) and try to take a picture of it, but your phone camera is a joyless fucking nihilist who refuses to see the beauty in anything and only sees this (right)

tips for writing bilingual characters

there are different types of bilinguals

the All Around: speaks, reads, and writes both languages pretty well

the Conversational: one language is stronger than the other; can speak the other language a lot better than they read/write it (a lot of kids of immigrants are this type)

the High Schooler: understands what’s being said to them in the other language, can’t really speak it

don’t have your characters randomly drop words from their other language mid-sentence around people who don’t speak it lol

languages are a mindset thing. like personally if i’m around english-speakers, i’m speaking english and i don’t really switch to my other language (which is portuguese)

so like if you’re writing a bilingual character who speaks spanish and have them say something like “hey chad let’s go to the biblioteca” to an english speaker i’ll probably spend 5 minutes laughing and then close your story lmao

exception: the character is speaking in their weaker language and forgot a word (”where are the…? uh… llaves…. keys! keys, where are they?”)

otherwise really the only time your character should be randomly switching languages mid-sentence is if they’re talking to another bilingual

like i don’t speak spanish but i’ve legit never heard a spanish speaker say “ay dios mio” to gringos lmao

conversations between two bilingual people can take a few different forms:

Pick One: they pick one language and kinda stick with it for the whole conversation (a conversation i might have with my portuguese-speaking mom: ”you okay?” “yeah, i’m good. how’re you?” “i’m fine, but your dad-”)

Back-and-Forth: someone says something in one language, the other person replies in the other (”tudo bem?” “yeah, i’m good. how’re you?” “tou bem, mas o seu pai-”)

Combo: they speak a combo of the two languages, a popular example being spanglish, though basically every bilingual has their own combo language (”tudo bem?” “sim, tou bem. how’re you?” “i’m fine, mas o seu pai-”)

when in doubt: just ask a bilingual to look at your stuff and tell you if anything sounds weird

This is important

what if we locked eyes across a dance floor full of people getting low to get low

Books with Bisexual Characters

I’ve always been a book lover, and lately I’ve been taking note of some of the bi characters I meet along my journey. I thought I’d share some book recommendations.

First, In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan. I love this book so much—it’s honestly one of my favourites. It features a bisexual protagonist, Elliot Schafer, who goes across a wall into a magical, fantasyland and actively rebels against its war-like ways, choosing to draft treaties instead. He’s a snarky, grumpy, pacifist who has relationships with people of multiple genders throughout the course of the book. This book is super funny. Seriously, it made me laugh out loud on more than occasion. It also features truly phenomenal character development and explores the joys and trials of friendship between Elliot and his two best friends Luke Sunborn (the shy golden boy, born to a warrior family) and Serene-Heart-in-the-Chaos-of-Battle (a bold elf whose society’s gender roles are completely flipped). Shenanigans ensue.

A quote:

“‘Why is language in the Borderlands so weird? Some of it’s modern, and some of it’s medieval, and I guess that makes sense with the influx of a certain amount of new blood to the training camp every year, but how do some words and phrases transfer, while others don’t? Why do you know the word ‘jerk’ and not the word ‘bisexual’?’

‘I guess people say the first word more,’ said Luke.”

Next, The Nevernight Chronicle by Jay Kristoff. This epic three book series features badass bisexual Mia Corvere. It’s dark, bloody and heart-breaking, with an endless series of twists. Mia’s parents were killed during their attempt to start a rebellion and her quest for revenge leads her to join a school for assassins. Follow Mia’s journey as she attempts to bring down the leaders of the Republic with her constant companion, Mister Kindly, the wise-cracking shadow-that-is-shaped-like-a-cat. I loved this series as well. It’s a very different tone from the recommendation above (don’t get attached to your faves!) and it’s marked as adult fantasy (be prepared for sex and violence), so be warned, but wow, is it a wild ride!

Books by Ellen Kushner!!! I recently discovered her and I’m in love. Ellen Kushner herself is bi and has a wife who is also a writer. The two of her books I’ve read so far are Swordspoint (published 1987!) and The Privilege of the Sword. Both are fantasy of manners with bisexual duelists as protagonists. Swordspoint features Richard St Vier, an elite swordsman, as well as his close companion (and lover) Alec, a sarcastic scholar with a mysterious past. The Privilege of the Sword is set in the future of the same world, featuring a young girl named Katherine (who I love with all my heart) as she’s called by her uncle to the city to embark upon a path nontraditional to a lady, that of a swordsman. Both are excellent and super fun!

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzi Lee. Meet Lord Henry “Monty” Montague as he embarks upon a Grand Tour of Europe (the historical fiction version of a road trip) with his best friend Percy (who he’s hopelessly in love with) and his sister Felicity (who’s ace and has her own follow-up book which I also recommend – the Lady’s Guide to Petticoats and Piracy). Monty is charming, privileged, hilarious and the definition of a disaster bisexual. Follow along as the three of them stumble into hijinks and character development.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. Our main girl Frances Janvier is a study machine whose only respite from academics is the fan art she draws for a podcast called Universe City. Then one day, the mysterious narrator asks her if she wants to collaborate. In a relatable turn, Frances is bi, but it’s just a part of her identity and the focus of the book is not a romance. Instead, it’s all about friendship and finding platonic soulmates and figuring out what you want to pursue in life. Alice Oseman’s writing is lovely and she tackles issues that feel very modern and relatable. I’ll also mention her webcomic (which you can find online for free) Heartstopper, which follows the romance between two boys Charlie Spring and Nick Nelson (and includes Nick’s bisexual crisis).

A quote:

“And I’m platonically in love with you.”

“That was literally the boy-girl version of ‘no homo’, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

 Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston. Speaking of bisexual crises, meet Alex Claremont-Diaz, whose mother is the President of the United States. His long-time rival, Henry, is a prince of England, and after an incident involving an expensive cake, the two are forced to fake a bromance for the sake of international relations. Actual romance blossoms instead.

Kushiel’s Dart by Jacqueline Carey. In the land of Terre d’Ange, the motto is “Love as thou wilt”. Phèdre is a bisexual courtesan who receives pleasure from pain. Another adult fantasy (published 2001!), our heroine trains as a spy and is increasingly entangled in a web of politics and plots.

The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater. This series is well-known, but I love it! Maggie Stiefvater’s prose is atmospheric, littered with small details that reward a reread, and her character relationships are complex. This series is a gem full of magical realism. Here’s a shout-out to our bisexual boy, Adam Parrish!

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo. Again, another popular book (part of a duology), but the hype is totally deserved! A diverse crew sets out on an impossible heist. Let’s send some love to two bisexual icons, Jesper Fahey and Nina Zenik!

A quote:

“If only you could talk to girls in equations.”

There was a long silence, and then, eyes trained on the notch they’d created in the link, Wylan said, “Just girls?”

Jesper restrained a grin. “No. Not just girls.”

 Those are some of my favourites that I’ve come across so far. Hopefully I’ll find some more! I’m always open to book recommendations, especially those that feature queer ladies :)

Does anybody have fic recs for one or both of them being inexperienced romantically it’s so so cute and I feel like I haven’t read any in such a long time

what’s ur type first < prev next > full comic

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henry, looking at alex, whilst looking like the goddamn james bond offspring that he is

Found you through your florist stories. Is there a way I could subtly tell someone to fuck off with flowers?

In flower language? Probably, I think I’ve even reblogged something to that effect. But….most ppl don’t know flower language anymore. No, if you need a true “fuck you” then here’s my DIY official tutorial, the Death Bouquet:

(This is gonna be the least wholesome post I’ve ever written and I am so sorry but I am also laughing while I type this.)

I’ve been railing on Pink Floyd roses a lot for their thorns lately because one has sliced my hand open recently. Get some of those.

Next. Get you some ornamental thorn roses. (I’m not 100% but I think mermaid climbing roses fall into this and are also brutal)

Next. Thistles. Lots of thistles. More thistles than sense.

Next. Dusty miller flower greens. Soft. Weak. Floppy. Clog up your bouquet with these, especially in the middle where they’ll make the stems stick together.

Next. Baby’s Breath. This is your secret weapon. You can’t tell when they’re dead half the time, they’re strong. Too strong. The wrong touch and FOOOOOOF. Tiny leaves and petals EVERYWHERE it’s as good as a glitter bomb.

NEXT. Abandon common arrangement sense. Fillers first, clog the center with fillers. Clog it, make it dense. Stick a rose or two in, but you want at least 70% filler.

NEXT. Hide the thistles. Hide them under the roses. Make sure some of the heads are at hand level. Spray them with water. You want those stems damp and miserable. Thistles harden as they die.

NEXT. The roses. Line this puppy in roses. Ornamentals and Floyds should be along the outside, this bouquet should be DEADLY to put any weight on. Spray them with water. This bouquet should be so tightly packed that your “handle” looks more like a solid mass than anything else.

NEXT. Wrap them in paper. TISSUE PAPER. Thin, weak, damp. Even gardening gloves can’t save your hands now.

NEXT. Be strong, treat the bouquet like a bed of nails. The more evenly spread the weight, the less likely you are to get hurt. You will be tempted to give these roses away in person, but be strong. Your ginger body language will give up the game.

FINALLY. Deliver them. Know. KNOW that your plan has worked, because anyone with any sense will see a bouquet and just FIST it with one hand. Maybe the other will come to support it. But just that. Just the hands. Meeting thorny death. A dozen little needle presses. The paper will be too damp to unravel, to see what has done this. They’ll grab it a few times, trying to learn the secret.

Deliver it with a nice note. Sincere, heartfelt. Make them feel obligated to deep the Death Bouquet. This is where the density comes in. Damp, suffocating, these flowers will mold in secret. They’ll die and their odor will permeate the air. But, because of the nature of the baby’s breath….it’ll be hard to find. Hard to detect. The roses will be sheltered because they’re on the outside, getting air and water. But the center will mold, and stink.

Eventually, they’ll realize it’s the flowers, and they’ll move the bouquet, and POOF, it will shatter, leaves and petals everywhere, releasing a gag worthy odor unlike anything they’ve smelled before.

And that’s how you say “fuck you” with a bouquet.