Hey I've been like incredibly swamped lately so sorry for being absent.
I actually have been working a lot, but this week I only worked on Monday (I was so incredibly off that day for no reason and I made some really bad mistakes such as saying shit in front of sheltered middle schoolers when I got locked outside of the building when the door became unpropped and I let them out to break up the weird hybrid schedule and also kinda losing 4 kids but they just twisted my directions to go for a walk around the school... those incidents shouldn't have happened). I normally have Tuesdays off because of my inconveniently timed composition class. I took Wednesday off to get ahead for school (would have gotten more done if I didn't get blown out cuz CANVAS glitched the literal second I submitted my high stakes midterm). Tomorrow, Thursday I get my second dose in the morning. I had a kinda bad reaction to the first shot (actually was like the second dose with swollen lymph nodes, low grade fever, exhausted, headache, dizzy, just overall feeling bad) for 48 hours and then still a little out of it for another 48 hours. Fingers crossed this dose goes much smoother. Just in case it doesn't, I have everything done that is due before Sunday at midnight. I also got my mom to drive me to my appointment tomorrow cuz I damn near passed out at the place and driving home (i dont do well with shots if you can tell but they're so important and I wouldn't risk not getting it).
I've been doing in person subbing, which is a big jump for me. It's a lot more stressful because I'm constantly reminding middle schoolers to pull their masks up and to give each other a little more space. Their behavior also got a lot worse because they haven't been in person for nearly a year. However, they really needed this. It just sucks that they're being put in this position. Getting the first dose made me feel a little better, although I walk in with a thing of wipes, two masks, hand sanitizer, a pack of back up masks, and no lunch (they've been shoving kids into classrooms to eat because the lunch rooms are tiny). Wish me luck!
Online school is really hard with 3 asynchronous classes and a mostly asynchronous class with 1/2 synchronous. It's been a challenge to manage the work load because everything has different due dates and different module lengths. Also, the due dates change a lot. Hopefully this helps (example week too far ahead to completely fill in)?
Now I want iced coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
oliviabynature via instagram
I'm literally in love with this idea. I am trying to read more often. A lot of my classes are teaching/math heavy so I feel guilty reading outside of those classes, but I'm looking to change that this semester. This looks so cool!
my book journal is literally the only thing in my life that I have committed to and do consistently
First day of me actually doing school work. I'm really excited but also really nervous for this semester! I'm taking Reading in the Content Areas, Teaching in the Online Environment (how fitting... 😓), Environmental Statistics, and Design and Analysis of Experiment. All my classes are online and 3 are asynchronous. I'm really excited for the two education classes. I'd be lying if I felt confident about the stats classes. I'm not horrible with statistics but there are some red flags about how those courses are set up and I have a really hard time following one of the professors. I know it'll work out, but I'm still worried.
Perfect fit
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Definetly not my most productive day. I'm proud of what I got done, but it just wasn't nearly what I needed to do. I'm still bumbed out from yesterday. I'm actually behind schedule this week (not just because I joined a class late). On Wednesday I was too depressed to do any schoolwork and slept and watched videos most of the day. Today I couldn't get focused until about 11am. I woke up somewhat early, but I definetly slept in compared to my schedule last year/pre covid.
What I did today:
● wrote two initial discussion posts (~700 words total)
● replied to a discussion post (another ~300 words)
● got half way through this week's Environmental Statistics module
● attempted to do some affirmations in the mirror today (I have horrible self esteem and body image... it's been particularly bad lately)
With that I'm going to listen to some Headspace and go to bed 😴😴😴
Last night I ended up having another anxiety attack before bed. My heart was beating hard and fast and was uncomfortable. I had a stress rash all over my chest. I couldn't stop crying. I had a hard time breathing. I felt like I was going to throw up. It's just the stress of school + not being able to register for a vaccine + feeling pressure from work to in person sub + my grandpa dying about a month ago + my grandma being in the hospital + my mom being the bipolar and manipulative sociopath she is + the whole pandemic. I feel so inadequate sometimes :/
they/them ... future high school math teacher ... junior math major + secondary math cert ... plants ... dogs
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