First Day Of Me Actually Doing School Work. I'm Really Excited But Also Really Nervous For This Semester!

Math tests with online school is no joke. Last semester I spent about 18 or so hours on a take home final. He said 20 hours would be a reasonable amount of time to spend on it. Bless your soul bruh cuz I was so mentally traumatized from that constant nonsense

Yesterday was a very long  day, and was made even longer by attempting to do a math test for a good 6 hours.

My mental health has taken such a large shit as of late. This week needed to be productive as hell and I'm barely barely barely keeping up with what needs to happen. I'm working 4 full days next week and I have 3 group meetings and 1 class presentation and 1 group report on an experiment and all the other shit I've been dealing with. Online school is kicking my ass y'all

Happy leaf sweeper

(via)

I love my houseplants, but I have to say this post resonated a bit

I am very glad to have drawn away from the houseplant hobby before it went... entirely to shit. I'm doing one order of plants online this year because I want to try some fancy gesneriads but my brain is just checked out on houseplants and ready to do some real gardening

Last night I ended up having another anxiety attack before bed. My heart was beating hard and fast and was uncomfortable. I had a stress rash all over my chest. I couldn't stop crying. I had a hard time breathing. I felt like I was going to throw up. It's just the stress of school + not being able to register for a vaccine + feeling pressure from work to in person sub + my grandpa dying about a month ago + my grandma being in the hospital + my mom being the bipolar and manipulative sociopath she is + the whole pandemic. I feel so inadequate sometimes :/

3. 29. 21 //

A word of wisdom: mind maps aren't supposed to make any sense, they're just suppoesd to get your thoughts down on paper!

What I got done today:

●read a chapter (late)

●pre wrote for an essay (late)

●wrote a draft (late)

●read an excerpt for class tomorrow

●peer edited an essay that needs to be done by tomorrow

●wrote a discussion post (late)

●wrote a reply post (late)

●finalized an activity I need to test on a pretend student (my little sis)

●made a plan for catching up and keeping up this week after being sick + emailed all my professors

I feel kinda proud that I toughed it out. Still have a headache and sore throat, but significantly less coughing and just an on and off again low grade fever. I'll live and just need to buckle down and get my homework done.

Dark, light, grey, and science

Lmao I'm a mess 😂

academia types ✨✨

dark academia: you have 3 copies of to Kill a Mockingbird, you won't shut up your current obsession, you were too shy to answer questions in class even though you knew every answer. despite being super capable, you still wing a lot of tasks. also self-care but make it ~ edgy ~.

light academia: you're the teachers pet, but like in a good way? you probably tried to learn an instrument like the flute in school but haven't played it since, always holding iced coffee, works way better in an Organised Study Group with like minded pals.

pastel academia: all the coloured highlighters imaginable, and the neatest handwriting? studying anywhere BUT their room (cute café yes please), if you're nice to them they will fall in love with you, you probably haven't seen their natural hair colour.

grey academia: takes lots of notes but can they read them?, cried listening to Greta Thunberg in 1975's song, "gender is a social construct", surprisingly good at time management, probably short and angry, constantly trying to tell their parents how to be "woke."

classic academia: your cat is your best friend, always dreamt about having a bookstore café when you were older, definitely participating in goodreads reading challenge, you shock friends on your ability to always sleep on time, quiet until people get to know you (and discover you're ~quirky~)

science academia: you are not capable of liking things casually: it's all or nothing, constantly complaining about how difficult your subjects are but knowing this is exactly what you want to do, well practiced at pulling all-nighters, probably got some sort of nerdy/edgy tattoo.

I've been a mess lately, but it's a good kind of mess. I actually felt ~happy~ yesterday. It was a foreign feeling. I've been trying to catch myself feeling happy or proud of myself. It's the same idea as trying to catch kids being good instead of catching kids when they're being bad. I had a really good day at work yesterday. Driving home I was a bit stressed, but I heard some great feedback and I was just on cloud 9... well compared to stressy and depressy. I really needed that with the pandemic, online classes, weird hybrid subbing, my grandma, and just everything else.