3. 29. 21 //

You mean I have like 10 more years of this?

Ughhhhhhhhh

being in your 20s is just going through everyday wondering is this a defining moment? is this a defining moment? is this a defining moment? is this a defining mo

Online school is really hard with 3 asynchronous classes and a mostly asynchronous class with 1/2 synchronous. It's been a challenge to manage the work load because everything has different due dates and different module lengths. Also, the due dates change a lot. Hopefully this helps (example week too far ahead to completely fill in)?

me every couple months when the depression wears off

Hey I've been like incredibly swamped lately so sorry for being absent.

I actually have been working a lot, but this week I only worked on Monday (I was so incredibly off that day for no reason and I made some really bad mistakes such as saying shit in front of sheltered middle schoolers when I got locked outside of the building when the door became unpropped and I let them out to break up the weird hybrid schedule and also kinda losing 4 kids but they just twisted my directions to go for a walk around the school... those incidents shouldn't have happened). I normally have Tuesdays off because of my inconveniently timed composition class. I took Wednesday off to get ahead for school (would have gotten more done if I didn't get blown out cuz CANVAS glitched the literal second I submitted my high stakes midterm). Tomorrow, Thursday I get my second dose in the morning. I had a kinda bad reaction to the first shot (actually was like the second dose with swollen lymph nodes, low grade fever, exhausted, headache, dizzy, just overall feeling bad) for 48 hours and then still a little out of it for another 48 hours. Fingers crossed this dose goes much smoother. Just in case it doesn't, I have everything done that is due before Sunday at midnight. I also got my mom to drive me to my appointment tomorrow cuz I damn near passed out at the place and driving home (i dont do well with shots if you can tell but they're so important and I wouldn't risk not getting it).

I've been doing in person subbing, which is a big jump for me. It's a lot more stressful because I'm constantly reminding middle schoolers to pull their masks up and to give each other a little more space. Their behavior also got a lot worse because they haven't been in person for nearly a year. However, they really needed this. It just sucks that they're being put in this position. Getting the first dose made me feel a little better, although I walk in with a thing of wipes, two masks, hand sanitizer, a pack of back up masks, and no lunch (they've been shoving kids into classrooms to eat because the lunch rooms are tiny). Wish me luck!

I've been thinking about the mums I most likely killed in my garden. I hope they come back in the spring.

I've been a mess lately, but it's a good kind of mess. I actually felt ~happy~ yesterday. It was a foreign feeling. I've been trying to catch myself feeling happy or proud of myself. It's the same idea as trying to catch kids being good instead of catching kids when they're being bad. I had a really good day at work yesterday. Driving home I was a bit stressed, but I heard some great feedback and I was just on cloud 9... well compared to stressy and depressy. I really needed that with the pandemic, online classes, weird hybrid subbing, my grandma, and just everything else.

Happy leaf sweeper

(via)

School has been a bit chaotic. I had to take a couple days off to recover from the first dose of the vaccine (I'm notoriously bad about shots). While I'm so incredibly grateful that I could get it, I was knocked out for 2 whole days and am behind.

72 hours of chaos:

●read a chapter + notes + watched necessary videos and presentations

●graphic organizer activity for this (past) week (mind map with bubbl.us or whatever that took too long)

●discussion readings + post + reply

●19 page assignment

●"long term assignment" that was a 4-5 page essay in response to an article that I did within 12 hours

●170 minutes of stats videos + notes

●initial contribution for stats group project

●lots of essay revising for a comp class + submission

●reading this week's essay for comp class and prepared notes

●shoveling my corner house and my grandma's house *twice*

I wish I could say that tomorrow is going to be better, but it's not :/

My region is currently being pummeled by a snow storm and I'm going to have to get up early early to shovel 7-12 inches of snow before my online comp class and another grueling day of online learning while my grandma is currently dying alone in a hospital with a positive covid test along with many other health issues

~It's fine. Everything is fine~