Minecraft Piglins Fuck Me Up. Like, They’re One Of Two/three Seemingly Sentient Species, But There’s

A: B, I can fit the whole world in my hands.

B, blushing because they think they know what's about to happen: that's imp-

A, doing a handstand: No it's not! Look!

B: you're literally so stupid. I hate you.

I was walking through the toy aisle at Target when I found this thing and had a VIOLENT AND IMMEDIATE FLASHBACK to when JP first came out and they had a bunch of REALLY COOL T Rex toys that I would have sold one of my scrawny small-child limbs for but my mother wouldn’t get me one because they were “too violent and also ate people” :(

From the memebenders discord, brought to you by our Melon Lord @neuronary    

do u ever get a comment on a fic thats just so sweet that ur like Maybe slaving over 24k of fanfiction was worth it for user SprinkleTrashcan2012 to leave a three paragraph comment

This Post tells me that we all want Tommy to adopt every possible mob that shouldn't be adopted and, you know what? Fine!

Here's Tommy getting every single mob he really shouldn't:

It started off easy. Tommy was a big man and he really liked animals, as every big man should. What he didn't like was how unfairly certain types of dogs and horses were treated...

So one day, when a small eight-legged pony approached him just to amicably stare up at him he knew that he wouldn't be able to part from it. Therefore Shroud was now the second official member of the Innit household! Foolish seemed to like him a lot as well, so Tommy didn't really think anything of it.

On another day he found himself being tackled by Baba, the snow horse that he saw near Technoblade's house. Tubbo let out a shriek when seeing this, but Tommy knew that she was just trying to play, so he scratched her ear and brought her home. Clearly, if she ran away it meant she wanted a new owner, so who was he to refuse? He added a little snow enclosure in the basement and made sure to keep Baba cool. Tubbo didn't really approve, but what does Tubbo know anyway?

Then it was the turn of Clementine, a very nice lanky dog that appeared one day in his home and never left. Foolish said that he should have killed her and called her a pest, but Tommy thinks that Foolish is just an asshole. It's not Clem's fault that she's not comfortable with people staring at her! They should learn to respect her boundaries already! So he built another room for her, with a taller roof this time. His house was sure becoming quite popular, huh? Not that it wasn't expected with him being the biggest of men!

And, well, so far no one was too weirded out by it. Sure, they would give Tommy some weird looks, but nothing too bad. In comes the fiery dog. This time Tubbo was very adamant about how: "That's not a dog bossman, that's a fucking blaze!" but since Tommy didn't understand what that meant he elected to ignore it. Couldn't be that important anyway. And Fiery dog was nice! He never shot fireballs at him, only ever using them to turn on the furnaces when asked. He was a nice dog and Tommy really couldn't understand what everyone had against him!

It got worse when he brought back a small slimey horse and a small jumpy horse. Ranboo called them "Slime and Magma Cube" so Tommy assumed the hybrid could speak with them and that those were their names. This time it was Wilbur's turn to come to him in concern. He even apologized for leaving Tommy alone and other shit, apparently assuming that Tommy was bringing all his dogs and horses home as a substitute. He wasn't. They were just nice and people around him misjudged them, so he wanted them to have a family. Not because he could relate to the feeling, just because he was nice like that!

Then it came the turn for the screamy dog. That one was admittedly quite big. So much so that Tommy had to make the biggest nether portal he could manage to bring her home, but it was worth it! He didn't like the name "Ghast" that everyone suggested, so he went for Genevive. He made the biggest glass dome he could for her and Tubbo even helped. Apparently, it was because "You're gonna get yourself killed if I'm not here with all these hostile mobs around" whatever that meant.

Along the way, he also got one of the pillager's horses, who he called Betty, and one of the Nether's ugly horses (who kinda looked like Techno if Techno was a horse, so he called it Better Techno). At that point, people were mostly resigned though. Somehow none of the mobs were aggressive towards Tommy. And, sure, the boy's house was becoming more and more of an eyesore with every expansion, but no one tried to do anything about it because none of the mobs were quite as friendly towards them. That said they were sure that there was nothing Tommy could do at this point to surprise them...

Well, Tommy found a weird dark portal surrounded by blocks he'd never seen. And he jumped in before DreamXD could do anything about it. -why is he like this?

On the other side he found the biggest dog he'd ever seen! It had huge ass wings, cool claws and it breathed out a purple fire that covered the whole ground. Tommy was amazed at her beauty so he told her as much when she lowered down towards him.

"Aren't you the prettiest dog ever? Look at you! You're amazing!" she seemed to like that. So much so that she snuggled up to him for quite a few minutes before lifting him with her mouth and going towards a portal in the center of the pillar. Tommy was sad to leave her behind, so he was ecstatic when she followed him on the other side!

*Tommyinnit made the achievement [FREE THE END]*

*Tommyinnit made the achievement [NEW END]*

Okay, perhaps everyone else wasn't quite as welcoming toward Big Dog as he'd hoped, but Tommy was sure they would warm up to her! And soon they would stop saying stuff like "Tommy that's the Ender Dragon! It's the one thing that could kill us all! Please bring it back where you found it!" and start saying "Wow Tommy, you're the biggest of men and that's the coolest dog I've ever seen" as they should.

I want a Distant Shore X This Day Aria mix

Idk I just think they're neat songs

I love how everyone who read Hitting on 16 immediately started mocking Wilbur for not knowing how ao3 works

Sir please. No tags, fucked up paragraphs.

Michael Underscore-Beloved becomes a rapper. After a semi-successful rap career he decides he wants to start a band with the other kids of the SMP. He's the lead singer and guitarist, but sometimes he plays the drums when one of the others want to take the spotlight.

Michelle and Shroud put together most of the costumes with input from Finley and Junior (no Shroud you can't wear see through shorts). Michelle was the first to sing on her own and has done so the most apart from Michael. She can play the saxophone, the cello, the drums and guitar. Fans often ship her and Michael together which they both find hilarious.

Shroud usually has a new boyfriend or girlfriend each week, but his most recent boyfriend has lasted about two months so far.

Finley and Shroud are the main dancers, but they also sing sometimes. Finley sings more than Shroud but most often they sing together as backing vocals. Finley can play the flute.

Yoghurt does the lighting and sound and also puts together the music videos with help from Foolish Jr, their manager. Yoghurt is really insecure about their voice but when they did sing in a music video everyone loved it so they've been trying to gather the courage to do it again and eventually do so in front of a live audience.

Junior has never been in a music video because he isn't a good singer or dancer, but he does know how money works which the others (except Michelle) do not. He does interviews and everyone thinks he's really sweet because they can see how much he cares about the rest.

Their first album consisted of mostly Michael as lead because there others were still a bit unsure but there are a couple of duets mostly of Michael and Michelle or Michelle and Finley. Michelle and Finley both did solo songs and Finley's was one of those mainstream catchy pop songs and Michelle's was a country rock. Shroud was always backing and everyone expected him to stay that way, until one concert, when all the others left Shroud alone on stage with the piano that had been snuck on at some point during the last song. The crowd was confused until he started playing on it at which point they all collectively lost their minds.

They usually write the songs together as a group, though there are exceptions, such as Shroud's Song which he wrote for his dad (Tommy cried).

Ofc all their parents are proud of them, but Tubbo and Ranboo are more used to it and give Michael his independence (but they do wish he'd visit more) and Puffy is much the same. Tommy cries everytime they leave home to go on tour and has all their merch, initially he'd tried to go with them but Shroud told him it would be cringe and Tommy Innit is never cringe. Fundy always helps with sound and lighting when Yoghurt asks for it. Tommy calls him cringe and Fundy tells him to shut up because he cries whenever Shroud goes to the cornerstore. Foolish always makes a point to check in with his kids and niece whenever they end up working in the same servers.