Things People Do After Having A Nightmare That Isn’t Crying

My problem is I spam like 20 posts in 2 seconds, forget about Tumblr for three months, then come back and wonder why no one is liking my little funnies

my bf and I have the same fucking brain

Biggie Chesus

Biggie Cheese

🐀🐁

*insert rat text emoticon thing bc i couldnt find it on google*

The best part of the percy jackson books is that from percy's perspective hes just an easygoing funny cool guy who seems pretty harmless but the moment you see him from someone elses pov hes terrifying. Just a crazy good fighter, a force of nature killing machine, literally gets mistaken for a god in disguise. But he doesnt see that side of himself at all because hes too busy arguing with authority figures and respecting women. I love him

*voice that I think is my inside voice but in fact carries throughout a room without my consent* MY DEAR FRIENDS, colleagues, comrades in arms, the kind young woman who helped me when I got hopelessly lost in the MRT yesterday: GOOD MORNING! Can you believe it? It is half way through November and nearly December and Christmas!

This is a friendly yet forceful reminder, that Alex Rider - against all odds still a teenager, has killed approximately 15 people and made terrible puns about it but still mourns his late maths homework, proud wearer of frosted tips like a hacker in a 90s movie, rode a horse he hated into a train tunnel after a girl he also hated - once escaped a fake private school in which a clone of a megalomaniacal neo-Nazi had been surgically altered to look like him, RETURNED TO THAT SCHOOL to flush out said neo-Nazi, and later got a Facebook friend request from the clone and rejected it BECAUSE HE DIDNT REMEMBER WHO THEY WERE.

It’s been tough recently, so let us take this specific Alex energy with us into December and the new year: let us never give up a fight -I believe that we can gather ourselves and go back and this time with a fucking snowmobile. Our crisis haircut doesn’t define us, even when our friends lie and say it’s ok. Most importantly it’s always justified to refuse a Facebook request from a weirdo who we don’t remember spouting rubbish.

@leodog896 you

It IS true that being on here gives you a tumblr accent. This morning my mother asked me something and i replied "i don't know i've never heard these words in that order" and she nearly choked laughing. It wasn't even that funny

Transcripts wiki is gone and I'm going to cry

say something funny

Update: they found some glass and they're so excited 🥰

Wish the little science boys who go treasure hunting would actually find something. They seem so sad :(