@leodog896 You

Your reblogs are how I know you're still alive

Just accidentally assumed I'm going to heaven while also being a gay person who mocks the very thought of God.

I'm literally having a mid life crisis. This is the middle of my life. I'm halfway there, make your mother fucking preparations, God, cause I'm comin up.

Post marital eye contact

Imagine being CaliforMIA. Like, straight up missing in action. Lowkey addition by subtraction.

Even if they're not funny, it's okay. We're all liars eventually

My problem is I spam like 20 posts in 2 seconds, forget about Tumblr for three months, then come back and wonder why no one is liking my little funnies

rb if you are about to lose your shit, have already lost your shit, or support people who lose their shit

Pride Month is over it's time to return to my little hole under the bridge with the little orange troll from Dora and Mariah Carey

Wish the little science boys who go treasure hunting would actually find something. They seem so sad :(

no mom i’m not high my eyes are red because i’m evil

real talk, yassen is insane for only sleeping 4 hours every 24 hours. baby that is not enough sleep. i know you're like peak health or whatever but that's only enough sleep to live, not thrive. how are you awake and alert everyday. whats wrong with you.