Evan Buckley Just Confessed His Whole Ass Feelings For Eddie Diaz Without Even Knowing It On Our Screens

Eddie's going to leave his parents' house after a huge blow up fight with his mom and he's going to be alone in his truck and he's going to look longingly at the passenger seat and sigh because Buck should be there.

And then he's going to call Buck on his drive home and Buck will have Eddie's back when he tells him about the fight. And when Eddie gets home he'll park the car and sigh and close his eyes and Buck will still be talking and Eddie will pretend Buck's in the car with him (where he belongs) for just a few seconds and then he'll tell Buck he's home and they'll hang up and Eddie will be alone again.

And he'll realize that the person who has always had his back is over 800 miles away and he misses him more than he ever thought he would. And it'll hit him like a ton of bricks that Buck is the first person he calls after a bad day and after a good one. That Buck is the voice he wants to hear when he's spiraling. That the reason it's been so hard to look directly that his relationship with Buck is because it's something beyond friendship. He loves him to the core.

I think I've figured out why Eddie's "you really did that for me?" is different for him compared to all the other times someone else, or even Buck, has done big things for him.

Because we can all point out endless examples of how this isn't the first big thing that Buck has ever done for Eddie. Hell, their friendship really took root due to the big ways in which Buck helped Eddie early on in s2 and s3. HOWEVER. Here's where the big difference comes in.

This is the first time Buck has ever done something like this for Eddie whilst they're in the midst of Active Conflict.

All the other times Buck has done something amazing for Eddie and Chris have been during relative times of peace, or times when Eddie and Buck were already on the same page about what they wanted. It's not hard for Eddie to accept because his and Buck's wants align in those moments.

Not the case in 8x09. Buck and Eddie's desires are on opposite sides now, or at least that's how Eddie perceives it. Eddie has to do something that he knows Buck won't like, and he thinks "This is it. This is the moment where everyone shows their true colors and leaves me high and dry to deal with my mess by myself." Think about it. Most people leave Eddie high and dry the first instance their goals don't align.

That's why Eddie's so surprised Buck wants to help him in the first place back in 8x08 and again in 8x09. For once, Eddie lets himself believe that someone will help him, even if it's something the other person doesn't want. And when Buck gets upset and petty, it almost feels like confirmation that Eddie is only worth helping when it's something that other people want too.

But Buck, in the midst of their fighting, before they even got a chance to talk or yell it out, before Eddie can even explain that he doesn't want this either, but he has no choice, Buck has already managed to figure it out for himself and decide that even though Eddie can't do what Buck wants him to do, it doesn't matter. Buck puts his desires aside and helps Eddie because it's what's best for Eddie and Christopher. I don't think Eddie has ever known what it's like to have opposing desires with someone and not come out on the losing side, to have to be the one to compromise or put someone else's wishes before his own.

This is the only time someone has loved Eddie unconditionally enough to put Eddie first.

idk how to articulate how fucking stupid it is to call it a "creative decision" after killing off the character whose whole storyline is about creating his second chance and building a family again and being worthy of love despite your past and just. for what. for him to die alone. all 8 seasons of that just for him to fucking die alone.

Can we also admit that even if somehow Bobby is alive how would this have been good writing because we know Tim is not capable these days of writing character driven arcs so if Bobby were to come back then essentially we used SIX episodes…252 minutes….4.2 hours of screen time for a non permanent NDE that essentially served to change things up aka find a new Captain for the 118 and if that was the point then there are many different ways this could have been done and still move the characters forward compared to what ever this disaster was. Also, even if they somehow pull off more of an exploration of grief in the last two episodes it will still be completely overshadowed for how poorly executed Bobby’s actual death and funeral were….the man’s funeral was literally treated like the C plot of the episode…..and the actual 118 that Bobby built felt like guest stars in an episode that should have felt like us mourning with the Firefam. Gerrard wasn’t even around when Bobby got to the 118 so miss me with that shit…..

1x10 // 8x10

I went back and watched the Hen and Chim goodbye scene when Chim was leaving to find Maddie in s5 and the difference between that goodbye and the Buddie goodbye are making me insane.

Hen shows up after Chim is done packing the car up and offers to go with him.

They're both crying the whole time.

Hen is clearly sad to see Chim go, but is so supportive of him going. She isn't bringing any of her feelings about him leaving into it.

They hug goodbye without any awkward 'should we hug' moment.

Hen sadly watches Chim drive away, but there isn't a super long, lingering shot on her as she does.

Compared to the Buddie goodbye.

Buck helps Eddie pack up.

Buck finds Chris's favourite shirt that's he's been missing and tells Eddie to make sure Chris knows he found it (because he clearly doesn't want Chris to forget him either).

Eddie tells Buck he matters to him and he's going to miss him, but instead of getting tearful/emotional about it Buck still seems like he's trying to hide how he's feeling from Eddie.

Buck baked Eddie cookies to help him stay awake while he drives (because he saw how tired Eddie got after driving around all night looking for Maddie a few weeks prior).

The awkward little dance before they hug.

The way they both clung to each other during the hug and Buck buried his face in Eddie's neck was such a different vibe from the Chimney and Hen goodbye hug.

Buck tells him "You get out of here" when Eddie's leaving.

Eddie turns around to look at Buck as he's leaving, like the last look wasn't enough.

Eddie waving goodbye and looking at Buck in the mirror as he drove away.

Buck standing sadly in the middle of the street in the rain as Eddie drove away with the close up on his face felt tonally different than the Hen look while Chim drove away.

Their friendships have always felt different and been portrayed differently, not just in a 'they're different characters' way, but in a way that feels especially stark watching the goodbyes one right after the other. I don't have some grand observation, just that the vibes were so different even though they were both between two best friends saying goodbye for an indeterminate period of time.

people who initiate conversations youre everything and i’m in love with you

drop your username bitch i’ve had it

Even Bobby can’t separate BuckandEddie, their names are just meant to be said together

eddie's heart is literally splitting into two before our eyes. like. buck never expected him to choose between him and chris. we know this. eddie knows this. it was eddie projecting those feelings onto buck. because buck is a priority to him. because he doesn't want to leave him. because he loves him. to the core. but he will leave. because he loves christopher more. and eddie doesn't feel bad about that. not about christopher coming first. nor should he. but he does feel bad about leaving buck. like these two feelings can and do co-exist. he feels like leaving buck is a choice he's making. and he would not feel like that unless buck was not just important to him but. literally the most important person in the world to him next to christopher. moving to texas is a choice he has to tear himself in two to make. "you would lose everytime" means just that. it's an easy answer, a natural answer. it's his son. but the rest of it isn't easy. the reality of the choice. which is losing buck. isn't easy. and i think eddie wants buck to recognise that but without having to tell him. in the same way buck struggled to admit how much it was affecting him but wanted eddie to recognise that instead of having to tell him. this fight only happened because they're afraid to tell each other—to admit—how much they love and need each other. it's literally put a spotlight on everything they haven't been saying over the last several years. because well. we're almost there. we're almost at the point where they will tell each other.