The Gods May Throw A Dice, Their Minds As Cold As Ice

reading this while listening to Burn from Hamilton is UCHSVCDVBSKVKSKVSBCHJCSKJSJABCH

Imagine this...

It all led to this moment. You gave him your everything, and it still wasn't enough. He lied to you for months and kept his intentions from you for so long. You were never to trust him or anyone, again. First, it was your father. He sold you to the heroes for their horrid experiments. You were sure the people behind it were called the "hero committee," but that was an estimated guess, of course. When you were in the program, you were kept in the dark. You were isolated from the others, you had no one, and you were a nobody. Your number had been 62. You only received a sort of name when you were taken into the Liberation front. Or the LoV, as they used to be called.

That's where you met him: Hawks. There was something about him you felt drawn towards. Perhaps it was his golden eyes or his ruby red wings. Maybe it was his personality. He had a way of pinning you to your seat with a look, yet lulling you into a sense of comfort with his smile. You could tell there was more to him than what he was leading on. It didn't take long for you both to talk. Talking turned into something deeper. You didn't know what to call it. You spent so long under the thumb of the heroes that until you were able to escape, your skills in basic interactions were slim to none. Hawks taught you things. He didn't call you a number. He gave you pretty nicknames that made your stomach flip. His soft touches were so different from what you had been conditioned to.

Everyone could see it. The way you both were attached at the hip. Every mission was spent by one anothers side. You trusted him with your life. You had started to.. love him.

But then it all began to crumble and fall. You had been taught to watch behaviors and assess people like they were your prey. It was instilled into you, drilled almost as deep as the robotic body parts the heroes had forced on you. You watched people. Perhaps that's why you got along so great with Hawks; or Keigo, as he revealed during one of your more quiet cuddle sessions. That was the night he made love to you. He taught you what touch could feel like beyond hugs and kisses. He made you feel things that reminded you that you are human. The constant voice in the back of your head telling you, reminding you that you're not a monster. At least, not by choice.

It had been 4 months before you realized his behavior was..off. Maybe it was before that, and you just wanted to ignore it. You didn't want to believe something could be wrong. His behavior, his mood, and the twitch in his eyebrow when he saw other villains hurt heroes. You could see it. Clear as day. Clear as it can be for someone so close to him, like you. At least, you thought you were close. He had been inside of you and explored your emotions and desires. He reached into your soul and pulled on strings you didn't know were there. He helped you find yourself. And you figured out who he truly was a little too late.

The wind had always been your friend. It gave you fresh air and made you shiver. There was always something so heartwarming about the shiver that made you feel like a kid again. Movie scenes flashed in your head, movies Keigo had introduced to you. And pictures of autumn leaves and Thanksgiving pop into the images. Keigo mentioned he wanted to take you somewhere for the holiday. Somewhere private and peacful. Maybe travel to a place with beautiful waters and calm forests. He promised to take you. Though now, as you stood on this roof overlooking the city, images of such a blissful dream faded from your mind. The wind had always been your friend. That is what matters right now.

"Please don't do this. I swear to God I was going to tell you. " He didn't matter. His words were a lie. They had to be. There was no way he cared about you, claimed that he loved you, and lied to you for months.

"I was stupid to believe you. I should have listened to the voices in my head. They protected me before you came along.." The words were so soft, you almost didn't want to say them. A part of you wanted to forgive him. Forget the lies and the betrayal and run into his arms. You wanted to comfort him. The scars on his face were so fresh. His wings were still so torn and burnt. But the hurt you felt deep inside blinded you. You couldn't let this go. Not now. You couldn't let another man hurt you and get away with it.

His footsteps were hesitant and desperate. He looked at you with such guilt and regret. It was eating him inside. He could lose his wings. They used to make him who he was. But when he met you, it all changed. You were his everything. You were the reason he kept fighting against the villains. But he was the reason he kept being a spy hidden from you. If you knew he was still on the heroes side, you would have never trusted him in the first place. He didn't know much anymore. Who was right or wrong. But he knew he loved you.

"Baby, I swear to God I was going to tell you. I just didn't want the heroes to find out about us, and I couldn't risk my secret being told to the villains. I love you -" He whispered, his voice cut off as tears formed in his eyes. "I love you so damn much. You made me feel human again! I felt like I could be myself around you. That's something I've never felt before. With no one else." He begged. His voice was desperate and hoarse. And you wanted nothing more than to run into his arms. You wanted to believe him, but you were so hurt. If he loved you, why didn't he trust you with his secret?

"I've been lied to before. I know how this works. And now the Liberation front doesn't want me anymore. They think I was helping you. I've lost everything because of you." You said harshly, tears falling down your face. Keigo shook his head, swallowing his sobs. "No! No, I'm right here. I do love you, dove. Please, believe me. Step away from the edge and come with me. We can leave. We can just go. We'll be together, off in the cabin that you said you wanted. We can finish teaching you how to write cursive a-and I'll help you build that garden you wanted. We can grow as many tomatoes as you want! If you just..step down. I'm begging you." You couldn't stop the tears from falling from your cheeks. Tears scattered the city below, mixing with the light rain of the afternoon skies. You wondered if this is how it was supposed to be.

"I wanted that with you before you broke me. Before you lied and took advantage of my lack of emotions -" You said bitterly. "No! I never once took advantage of you. I am not your father, remember? You told me he abandoned you with the hero committee. I would never do that to you. I would never leave you like that, dove. You're my everything." He said sternly, stepping forward in determination. You could almost hear the truth in his voice. But the wind was so much louder tonight.

You turned to face him, your heel resting on nothing as you stood on deaths door. You could see past the wind. The truth is so evident in Keigos eyes as he pleaded with you. But if he lied to you once, couldn't he just do it again? "How can I believe you? After months of lying to me. To my face. How do I know I can trust you not to lie to me again?" Your voice was so soft, Keigo almost couldn't hear you. Almost. He just shook his head. "I.. I don't know. But I do know I would do it again if I had to. If it meant keeping you safe, I would lie again and again. Because I can not lose you. Not after I've found you." He was telling the truth. You could see it on his scarred face. The same cheek you loved to caress. Now marred in scars because of Dabi.

"Please just come to me. Let me take you away from all this." You wanted to step away from the edge. You wanted to accept his words and rush into his arms. But the wind has always been your friend. And it was a jealous thing, it was. It pulled and pulled until you were falling into its arms again. It was so loud, your eyes were tearing up. Keigos' face was the last you would ever see, but the wind would stay until the very end.

I LOVE SECRET LIFE GUYS

bucky

Today I met happiness

(look at what i have to offer) — this is the spider's nest.

" LITTLE DOVE ,,

|| pairings: hawks x gn!reader / keigo takami x gn!reader

|| synopsis: reader has had bad days before, some that makes them feel unworthy. keigo will always be there to try and help you through it though. (comfort)

|| word count: 0.5k

It was a bad day. something you weren't strangers to. Something Keigo wasn't strangers to either, he knew how to help. On days you would get out of bed and the day would just shit on you. Or days where you couldn't get out of bed period. Today was one of those days you genuinely tried, but the world was still unkind.

"You're okay, dove," Keigo whispered into your ear as the two of you sat in bed. You were curled up, a hood over your head as you kept yout eyes closed. The winged hero faced you as he had a wing over the both of you, acting as a warm red blanket. "I'm right here with you."

"'m sorry." You muttered, toying with the strings of your hoodie as you kept your eyes shut.

You hated that Keigo saw you like this. Shit, he was probably tired from hero work. He just got home, and that guilt ate at you. A small pit in your stomach had created when he asked you beforehand if you were in bed all day. It wasn't condescending, no quite the opposite. He wanted to knkw what type of day it was, just to know the best way to try and help you.

"Don't say that, my little dove," His fingers brushed through your hair, a way to try and calm you. Something he found out helped when you were going through shit like this. "You have nothing to apologize for."

"But you're probably tired from hero wo-"

"Nah, I'm super strong so I'm barely tired," He shot a playful wink to you. A small attempt to try and lighten the mood. "So right now, you're my top priority."

"It's probably-"

"Don't even try and say it's annoying, little dove." He held you closer, his gentle hug tightening around you. A way to help ground you, or a small comfort. Either way, it helped. "You matter to me. You will always matter to me. You mean so much to me and would ditch any hero meeting to come and help you if you're having a shitty day."

Before you could try to say something he pressed a small kiss to your forehead and took a big inhale before speaking more.

"I love you and care about you. Nothing will ever change that. The world is so much better with you in it. I know you won't believe me, but I want you to know that. I'll repeat it everyday if you need me to." Keigos words sounded so genuine, so true coming from his lips. "I'm so proud of you, little dove. Even if you just stay in bed all day or if you find out to cure every disease in the world. I will always be proud of you."

Small tears welled in your eyes as you pulled Keigo closer to you. A few moments of silence passed as you let Keigo's words sink in. Somethings you needed to hear today, and mlst likely things you'll need to hear in future days as well. But Keigo will gladly repeat them a million times over.

"Thanks, Keigs.."

"Don't thank me, little dove.. I love you."

"I love you too."

|| didnt have a good day, wrote this on a whim, suuuper short, lowkey needed this :( keigo ily

i js wanna say, i love how everyone collectively agreed that hawks is a nervous MESS as a teenager, like bro can't hold a conversation for shit. i love it.

Well well well. MORE Dabihawks

Sketchbook doodles (mostly last life minus gem)