Going Into Exams, Need All The Luck I Can Get

THIS IS PURE GOLD!!! I LOVE IT SOO MUCH

Batman Twitter AU Masterpost

Warning: first couple aren’t the best but they get better/funnier as I get used to doing it

part-one The start

part-two Tim left alone

part-three bully Jason

part-four Duke makes new pfps

part-five Bruce and Oliver did WHAT

part-six beach and heroes

part-seven FMK gone wrong

part-eight movies and kidnappings

part-nine Father’s Day/bully duck

part-ten Bruce/Insert your fav

part-eleven DAMIAN

part-twelve Jason is a Swiftie

part-thirteen girl math with Steph

part-fourteen Damian love Jon

part-fifteen Let Duke be crazy 2k24 and Bruce kidnapped

part-sixteen Bully Bruce - again

part-seventeen Joker gets his shit rocked

part-eighteen So much idk what to focus on

part-nineteen Everyone is on the couch

Part-twenty Jason is dating Hood apparently

part-twentyone Just another day in the dc universe tbh

Barty core

It's okay, I'm mentally a silly teenage girl

Sometimes I forget that people in the marauders fandom aren’t just silly teenage girls, like wdym your husband proof read this fic for you?!?!?!?!?

Them❤️

Evan: I love you, I really do, but we can't date Barty: What? Why? Evan: Because what happens if we break up? Barty: ... Barty: ! Barty: Who gets Regulus in the divorce?! Evan: Exactly!

Stuff my camp kids did during snack free time today from most to least expected.

1. Eat their snack (the primary thing they are expected to do)

2. Ships and sailors (normal camp game)

3. Big kids sang the National anthem in four part harmony while the little kids buried a tenth grader in leaves and grass. (I put these together because these events clearly were connected but I’m not sure how)

4. Held a “funeral” where the girl was resurrected by everyone singing “Love Story” over her dead body.

5. Turned on “fire ambiance eight hours” on somebody’s phone, buried the phone completely in sticks in the shape of a campfire, and roleplayed as monkeys/cavemen discovering fire for the first time.

I don't know what I read, but I love it and I want 20 more, please and thank you.

Living with a gangster

Mafia man x Gn!Reader

Summary: moments in your life when your weirdo of a boyfriend gets you both in the most randomness possible scenarios. You love him though

a/n: ummm ummm writing for now bc my Apple Pencil broke so yeah!!

You’re on the couch, unwinding after a long day. The soft hum of the TV fills the room as you kick your feet up, enjoying a rare moment of peace. That peace shatters the moment your boyfriend walks through the door, looking like he’s been through hell and back.

There’s even stains on his white pants. Gross.

Bruised, bloodied, and entirely too proud of himself, he barges in with a grin plastered on his face. “I brought you something,” he says, and there’s a certain cockiness in his voice that you’ve come to expect from him.

You turn to look, already knowing whatever he’s holding will be ridiculous. “What is it?”

You ask, trying to suppress the exhaustion from your voice.

With a flourish, he reveals a ragged, battered stuffed bear. Its fur is matted, and there’s a stain that could be blood—or maybe it’s just the bear’s battle scars. One of its eyes is hanging by a single thread.

“A battle bear,” he announces proudly.

You stare at it for a beat. “A what?”

“A battle bear. I had to fight a bunch of idiots to get it. It was a whole ordeal, but I thought you’d want it.”

You blink, deadpan. “So you got into a fight for a stuffed animal?”

“Yup,” he says, a little too smug for someone who just looked like they were hit by a bus. “It’s yours now. For protection, obviously. You’ll be safe with this thing. Like a bodyguard, but fluffier.”

You glance from him to the bear. “This thing looks like it’s seen better days. What kind of fight were you in?”

“It’s fine. Just a little blood. Nothing serious,” he assures, his grin widening. “So? Do you love it?”

You pause, still eyeing the mangled bear. “Sure, I guess. I don’t know if it’ll protect me, though. It looks like it’s seen as much action as you.”

He flops onto the couch next to you, snatching up the bear. “It’s a symbol of my dedication. Don’t downplay it.”

“You could do anything with it cry with it, cuddle, feed it, maybe even tell it about how much you love!”

“Nice try.” It’s just a thought but you are thinking he’s going to be the one to do those things.

It’s been a long day, and you were hoping for some peace. You’ve barely sat down on the couch when your boyfriend bursts in, completely out of nowhere, practically vibrating with excitement.

“I missed you!” he exclaims, then immediately starts some unholy combination of spinning, hopping, and awkward flailing. His hips are nowhere near Shakira’s level of shaking.

He’s rattling like a broken supermarket cart.

You stare at him, eyebrows raised. “What in the world are you doing?”

“This is my I missed you dance,” he says, spinning once again like he’s in some bizarre action movie. “It’s a tradition now. Every time I come home, I perform it to show my appreciation for you.”

You blink. “A dance?”

He nods, still twisting around, his limbs making chaotic, out-of-rhythm movements. “Yup! It’s a way of showing how much I care about you.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” you say dryly, eyes narrowing as you watch him crash into the coffee table, almost toppling over the lamp. You can’t help but let out a sigh. “Are you done yet?”

He doesn’t answer, too busy still trying to perfect whatever this is. His leg kicks too high and knocks into the side of the bookshelf. He spins again, only to hit his elbow on the doorframe.

“You’re really not helping your case here,” you mutter, leaning back. “How exactly am I supposed to take you seriously when you’re like this?”

With a grunt, he halts his movements, standing tall like he just finished a perfect performance. “I’m a dangerous man, babe. Nobody could top this move.”

You stare at him, deadpan. “You’re a mess.”

He grins like he won the lottery. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

You walk through the door after running a simple errand. But as soon as you step inside, you’re met with your boyfriend standing in the living room, hands on his hips, wearing a look of complete panic.

“Where have you been?” he demands, voice high and tight with concern. “I’ve been worried as shit.. Do you know how long it’s been? What if something happened to you? Like if a Mario cosplayer asked for your number? Or if my boss figures out we make passionate love in ghost face costumes?”

You stop dead in your tracks, surprised by the sudden wave of intensity. “I was gone for two hours. I was grocery shopping,” you say, already regretting not texting him sooner.

His expression doesn’t change. “Two hours? That’s two hours I had no idea where you were! You could’ve gotten hurt! Kidnapped! I could have sent the team after you!”

You blink, trying to process his frantic words. “It was just the store. I’m fine. I didn’t even leave the neighborhood.”

“But what if something happened?” He’s pacing now, completely ignoring the fact that you’ve been walking around the block for the last hour. “You could have been in danger, and I wouldn’t have even known! What if the old man that looks like Santa Claus down the steep seduced you?”

“What—“

“And was successful. Who am I to Santa? Nothing but a little elf whore…”

“Um.”

“Actually fuck Santa. He ain’t shit.”

“Okay.”

“Anyways, Do you want me to hire bodyguards?”

“I’m not a delicate flower,” you say, trying to stay calm. “You don’t have to act like I’m going to break if I leave for an hour.”

He stops pacing, suddenly pulling you into a tight hug, his arms firm but careful. “I know, I know. You once broke my back when we were roleplaying WWE. And in be—“

“Oi.”

“Besides! You’re my responsibility. I need you safe.”

You sigh, your annoyance melting away as his possessiveness becomes more endearing than aggravating. “You’re a freak, you know that?”

He smiles into your shoulder, his tone softened. “And you match it~”

You couldn’t deny that.

You’re lounging on the couch, scrolling through your phone, when you hear the front door open. Your boyfriend walks in, holding two absurdly oversized leather jackets with a grin that suggests he’s up to no good.

“Guess what I got!” he announces.

You glance at him, already sensing where this is going. “What now?”

“Matching jackets,” he says, looking far too pleased with himself for someone who just spent way too much money on something totally unnecessary.

You look at the jackets, confused. “Those things are huge. They’ll swallow me whole.”

“Nonsense!” He’s practically bouncing with excitement. “It’s part of the look. Look how badass we’ll look together. We’ll be like this power couple!”

You pull the jacket on, and it nearly engulfs you. You feel like you’re drowning in leather, and you can barely move your arms.

You glance at him. “This is a terrible idea. I can’t even lift my arms.”

He looks at you with a deadpan stare. “Exactly. That’s the point. We’re untouchable.”

You sigh, crossing your arms, trying not to let the ridiculousness of the situation break your composure. “You realize we’re going to look like two absolute try-hards?”

“Nope.”

He shrugs, unfazed. “I look hot. You look hot. Who cares about looking normal when you look cool?”

You snort, rolling your eyes. “We look like walking couches.”

It happens when you’re having an absolutely normal movie night. Popcorn, blankets, a chilled drink. Everything’s perfect. And then, in the middle of a dramatic scene, your boyfriend suddenly turns to you with a completely straight face.

“I killed someone today,” he says, his voice holding the same tone if he just did a wet fart. “45 years old. Kids. Pretty tragic, actually. But he had it coming. I mean he did—”

You freeze, popcorn halfway to your mouth. “Wait. What?”

He shrugs, clearly uninterested in your reaction. “Yeah, I mean, he was a threat. Had to be dealt with. He won’t be a problem anymore.”

“Are you… are you serious?” You blink rapidly, your mind struggling to catch up with what you just heard.

“Yeah, well, that’s gang life for you.” He leans back, popping a piece of popcorn in his mouth like he’s just told you about his day at the office. “It’s not all fun and games, y’know.”

You can’t form a coherent response, too shocked by the casual way he talks about murder. “You just… killed someone. And then sat down to watch a movie?”

He glances at you, unphased. “Yeah, and? We were supposed to watch this, right? Can we watch breaking bad next? Bald Walter is spank bank material.”

“Um ew.”

“Just don’t sweat the small stuff, babe.”

You stare at him in silence for a moment, the absurdity of the situation slowly sinking in. “You are the weirdest person I’ve ever met.”

“Thanks. I try.” He says it so casually, then immediately falls asleep like it’s just another day.

What the hell.

I don't know about you, but I see no lies

HC: Bernard knows Tim is Red Robin, that’s fine, but he’s absolutely useless at guessing anyone else.

Bernard: “l know Jason is Batman.”

Tim: “You who the what”

Bernard: “I know your friend Bart is Robin.”

Tim: “Bern.”

Bernard: “I know Bruce is Aquaman. I know Connor is Nightwing.”

Tim: “Babe please stop.”

Bernard: (getting manic) “I know Damian is Orphan. I know Duke is Superboy”

Tim: “Wait how would DUKE be-“

Bernard: “DICK IS CATWOMAN!”

Petition to call Bartylus “Crack” (Crouch + Black)

𝐀 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐅𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦 𝐂𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠:

๏ 𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐁𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐧

๏ 𝐒𝐙𝐀 𝐚𝐬 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐰𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧

๏ 𝐊𝐚𝐢 𝐂𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐊𝐚𝐢 𝐂𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐭

๏ 𝐉𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐉𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐆𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐨𝐧

𝙰𝚕𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚒𝚜 𝙲𝚁𝙰𝚉𝚈!!! 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝚆𝙰𝚂 𝚂𝙾 𝙷𝙸𝙻𝙰𝚁𝙸𝙾𝚄𝚂 & 𝙸 𝚆𝙰𝙽𝚃 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙴!!!🤣🤣🤣

𝚆𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝙱𝚊𝚝𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚍 𝙱𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚊 𝚙𝚘𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚝!!!🤣🤣🤣

𝘐 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘷𝘦 𝘉𝘢𝘵𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘞𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘈𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘵𝘵 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐’𝘮 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦!