Petition To Replace Mark With Chica Because She’s A Good Doggo And Mark Is A Sadistic Biscuit!

sugardaddy!satoru who buys you the most expensive items, from designer bags, expensive jewellery and even some cars. and he only asks for one thing in return; your body.

sugardaddy!satoru who wants you on your back, arms wrapped around his strong shoulders, digging your nails (which he bought) into his back, painting deep red marks down his skin. your legs wrapped around his waist as his cock sinks deep into you, sitting in your warm cunt for a bit while he exhales.

sugardaddy!satoru who wants your back arched while his rough hands travel along your arse, pinching slightly at the soft skin. he wants your head shoved deep into the pillow as he pulls his cock in and out of you with a punishing pace. a rim of cum appearing around his dick as he thrusts deep inside of you!

sugardaddy!satoru who needs you sucking on his fat length, his tip stabs at the back of your throat when you take him whole, nose pressed against his sweaty hot skin. his head thrown back while his hand is firmly holding onto your hair, pushing you down slightly - making you gag on his leaky length ><

sugardaddy!satoru who also buys you the most expensive toys, a but plug with jewels and large dildos, he loves you get you extreme stuff too! like vibrating dildos with extra parts for clit stimulation and to go into your small arsehole!

he buys you basically whatever you wanna get though! he suggests the sex toys but you always say yes. there's one thing you said no too and you never here the end of it. a collar.

not a choker or a necklace. a collar, like one a dog would use.

sugardaddy!satoru who wants a cute frilly collar wrapped around your neck at all times - not even just during sex, all the time. he wants the collar with a small dangly bit, metal engraved to say 'satorus baby'

i mean how embarrassing is that!!

sugardaddy!satoru who punishes you and puts you on a spending ban after the fifth time you said no! you huff and huff but he doesn't give you any money :c

sugardaddy!satoru who secretly buys you it and wraps it around your neck one time your too fucked out to think.

"look at thattt, see? now everyone will know who you belong too." the white haired man practically gleamed.

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who don’t or can’t write the 50k fan-fictions, because of a lack of focus or motivation, or mental illness.

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who don’t or can’t write smut, but are still lumped into a group that is almost expected to write smut. 

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who can’t update chapters frequently for maybe a multitude of reasons, and get messages daily from people asking for “their” new chapter. 

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who aren’t big name fans and hardly get ten kudos or one comment on their fan-fictions. 

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who stay up all night editing and rewriting and don’t get much attention on their work no matter how much they feel like they promote their writing.

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who don’t write a lot and are constantly asked to write more but can’t for whatever valid reason they have. 

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers who have the courage to post their writing online and only have it publicly made fun of for grammar or poor characterization. 

Shout-out to fan-fiction writers for writing their fan-fiction, posting it online, and continuing to do it no matter how much or little attention they get, and constantly improving as a writer with every upload.

You all rock.

List of bullshit I pulled in high school

My yearbook photo was a picture of some random baby off of Google I photoshopped my 17 year-old self’s head onto. It made it in.

Slipped a video titled “hot busty lesbian porn” into the personal folders of everyone in my computer class, which after they all crowded around to see what it was, turned out to be the video for Never Gonna Give You Up (it was 2007, so not yet a worn out joke). Thanks to them (like idiots) deciding to swarm a computer with sound, the computer lab filled up with cheesy ‘80s pop and the sound of me laughing so hard I ended up on the floor clutching my stomach.

Figured out that the school board internet filters blocked based on words and URLs, so I bypassed them simply by pinging their IP addresses, giving me free reign to Youtube and wherever else I felt like going to. I abused this power, and the fact I luckily had one of the computers with built-in speakers, to blast copious amounts of death metal all class.

Formed an air band called Minotaur Lizards whose career peak was “playing” a montage of classic rock songs during a school presentation.

Acted out the mock trial that made up the final for our senior year Law class as head prosecutor, wearing no shirt, no socks, a Dead Kennedys t-shirt, and shorts. Somehow got 10/10 for “appropriateness of dress” by being so utterly wrong that the teacher considered me to have looped back around.

Made sure that the yearbook contained the words “Harry Potter erotica”, and nobody realized until it had already gone to print.

Did accounting for some of the pot dealers in my year and ended up taking a good cash bonus home after my suggested “baked sale” hit it big.

Managed to get out of gym class the last two years on the promise to teachers that if I kept a friend, who was in a wheelchair and one of the above-mentioned dealers, occupied and out of trouble, I could skimp on doing class for non-test days and eke out a 75%.

Turned in so many bullshit essays and “I was bored on this vocabulary test so I write it all in haiku” results that teachers would be disappointed if I turned in ‘normal effort’ work.

Found out someone I really disliked hated my laugh, and dialed up how totally hilarious I found Cool Runnings so much that my laughter got him into a hissy fit that ended with his suspension.

Figured out the school’s weak exits where one could slip through without being noticed, and began selling this information to people once our school cut its truancy officer for budget reasons.

Managed to send through enough filthily-worded Valentine’s Day candygrams with the help of a friend on the inside that there were no candygrams the next year.

Did most of my work for my last year on a single piece of paper I’d just fold up and stick back in my pocket out of general laziness and my lack of need for notes. Math teacher kept poking fun at it, which led to an escalating war of attrition that ended when I handed in a test written on a corn tortilla.

Was voted Most Unique in what is most certainly the last flattering time that award was given in the school’s history

Apologies if this is a dumb question: did you and Tina ever catch the billywig? I don't recall seeing that in the film.

… I knew I was forgetting something.

when you find someone with the same otp as you

Remus: Ha, I’m a piece of trash.

Sirius: As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up. Is seven okay?

Remus: ...You smooth fucker. Yes.

coach steven // cry for help

It's the good kind of chaos that hurts in the satisfying way

the current state of my life

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak