U can watch Star Wars so many times and it doesn’t prepare u for how dumb Star Wars is. For one thing I think we gloss over how kenobi (who has definitely been at the club. Please.) describes the mos eisley cantina as the worst most villainous place ever and then u get inside and it’s a pack of muppets vaping
Neat how both Cody and Obi-Wan are absolute bruisers when push comes to shove. Something about being composed and professional while also having a talent for inflicting blunt force trauma. Rocking up to the Star War with nothing but your fists and winning (most of the time)
Watching Star Wars was a mistake. For years I’ve derived so much pleasure from seeing discourse on my timeline that’s like “it’s actually a pretty good writing choice that Glimbo Knutts manipulated the imbledimbians in the force to make Darth Freeble his personal jedi froogler. It gives the original trilogy more depth” and not knowing what the fuck anybody is talking about. But now I do and it’s ruined. I understand what you freak ass dorks are saying and it isn’t fun anymore. Glimbo Knutts making Darth Freeble his jedi froogler DOES give the original trilogy more depth. This sucks man
I don’t really need an excuse to draw Obi-Wan Kenobi, but it was fun to give myself one.
"Obi?" // part of an au
@prequelsnet prequels appreciation week: day 5 — found family
↳ The Disaster Lineage
I'm really tired of people criticizing Star Wars for its simple approach to good and evil, because that ignores the point.
Star Wars is not about morally complex situations where it's hard to tell who the villains are.
Star Wars is about how easy it is to become one of the villains.
everything we had, everything we did is buried in dust, and this dust is all that's left of us
my bestie??? speaking to someone else??? improper. disgusting. horrendous.
Created an AU where Obi Wan adopts the twins and takes them to hide out Tatooine with him. He’s a tired dad and the twins are menaces. There’s a lot of sadness and drama to be found but for now let’s enjoy the cute, sweet family stuff. (Feel free to send asks if you want!)
Officially this is called the Obi Dad AU! Thank you to the person who put it in the tags (and for the kind words)
a brief summary of the Rako Hardeen arc [x, x]
(or, How Is Anakin Skywalker a walking biological horror)
So I made this post and a few were actually interested, also i needed to write down all of this or I wouldn't be able to sleep.
The way I went just from "hahaha they're just mitochondria before becoming forced symbionts and losing all autonomy" to the Medical Horror that would be Anakin Skywalker .
Let me explain, going from this theory, let me tell you that the average mammal cell can have between 800 to 2000 mitochondria. In Star Wars we're told that the average living being, has 2500 midi-chlorians per cell. The difference isn't that big, so we can assume that mid-chlorians are smaller than our real-life mitochondria, and it would make sense since the mitochondria have the best possible living conditions, whereas midi-chlorians, if they're free-life bacteria (as in, they aren't forced to live in the cells of another being) it would make sense if they're just smaller, let's say, sneaky, to increment their chances at living.
So Midi-chlroains don't just produce ATP, Force sensitives have a minimum of 4000-5000 midi-chlorians per cell. That's...a big number, but not very horrific. See, the amount of mitochondria is related to how much energy the organic tissue requires. The cells of muscular tissue and neurons are the ones with the highest mitochondria count. Also the mitochondria in the neurons are mobile and flexible, because just thinking burns ATP.
We can assume that using The Force burns insane amounts of ATP, so I assume it makes sense for Force Sensitives to have big amounts of Midi-chlorians. But! The problem with this is that we're told that the Midi-chlorians are attracted to the force, not born within it. But any multicelullar organism (with a few exceptions) need the mitochondria. Mitochondria have their own ADN, and they're always inherited from the mother, so we can assume that there's two different types of midi-chlorians: The ones any normal being borns with, and the ones that get attracted because of the baby's force potential. Either that, or both the mithocondria and the midi-chlorians exist simultaneously.
Which means that Jedi (or anyone who wants to know, really) would need to take several blood tests for midi-chlorians count. Because a newborns midi-chlorian count wouldn't be the same through a babie's infancy. UNLESS...The midi-chlorian infection (yes, i'm calling it that) ocurrs already since the pregnancy, if the force is strong enough for a fetus to be a possible force sensitive in the future, then I guess the midi-chlorians would get attracted to the parent during the pregnancy as well.
WHICH BTW, IT FITS WITH PADMÉ BECOMING FORCE SENSITIVE, at least for a while, like the discarded ROTS concepts. But also, would mean, that poor Shmi became a hella strong force-sensitive person as well, at least for a while.
And it would be a biological advantage if we take this route, because it would possibly make the pregnant being stronger and with a higher supply of energy.
It also explains why the jedi would only take a single blood test when the force sensitive is just a baby, because the infection is already settled. It can also be argued, that any baby born with a fairly high amount of midi-chlorians (like the 4000 per cell count minimum) would only increase, if only slightly, as the force sensitive grows because the midi-chlorians will get attracted regardless.
There must be a limit, or more like, a balance, that the midi-chlorian and the force potential of the individual met. As in, there's just enough force within the individual for a certain number of midi-chlorian, and all of this is probably decided already during the fetus formation or very early on the baby's life.
Now, Anakin...would be an abomination. Because his cells are so full of midi-chlorians, that it's scary to think how the cells aren't exploding or downright giving malfunctions to the rest of the cellular organelles.
If we go by the route of "midi-chlorians start infecting the force sensitive host mother during pregnancy" it means there were high chances of a misscarriage or an incompatibility between Shmi and Anakin, because holy cow, Anakin is just too much.
But you know what also, it could potentially mean? That Padmé's pregnancy was a risky one, fron the start -slowly nods-. Luke and Leia's force potential was lower than Anakin's, but there's still a lot to unpack there in terms of compatibility. We are never given the exact count of midichlorian count for the twins, but let's pretend it was low enough for Padmé to not inmediatly have a miscarriage. That, and also, maybe, Padmé isn't strong in the force to manipulate it, but maybe just close enough for the pregnancy to be carried to term, let's say, her midi-chlorian count is 3900, close enough.
Something similar with Shmi, I'm taking for granted that she also had a difficult and risky pregnancy (on top of it being a pregnancy she had no agency). It becomes worse because, unlike the twins, Anakin is just...50% human. The only possible genes Anakin has are from Shmi. So he's probably...genetically, almost a clone of Shmi but with a massive infection of Midi-chlorians (yes, this implies that Anakin has homogametic sex chromosomes, aka XX, there's no other possible explanation because he literally only has Shmi's genes to work with!).
But he's Space Jesus, though,so let's pretend that the "no father genes" helped with this and allowed Anakin to grow into a...normal-ish baby despite it all.
Midi-chlorians must be extremelly small, closer to the size of a virus in this case, viruses vary on size and the way they infect the cells is by hijacking the nucleus, which then can produce more viruses instead of its own proteins. This can vary anywhere between a production of 50.000 to 100.000 viruses produced by infected cells.
Which, btw, still fits somewhat with the mitochondria theory, because mitochondrias are believed to have been from a genus of bacteria called Rickettsia, which used to be believed to be the in-between of Viruses and Bacteria due their small size and extreme endosymbiotism.
Still, we aren't even told how many midi-chlorians Anakin had, just that it was over 20.000 and thus the chart couldn't even register it. Even if we're just counting 21.000 midi-chlorians per cell, that's...a lot. Even if the relationship is symbiotic and positive in nature, that's excessive, an infected cell will usually die faster. So Anakin's cellular death must be on record time.
The life span of a cell varies highly depending of the type of cells, white cells can live about 2 days, others about 5, and then there's others that live about 6 years in average.
Forget all of that, Anakin's cells die anywhere between a few hours and a week. Which also means a super fast regeneration and healing (Hey! that tracks, that's how he didn't die even though he should have, on several ocassions).
But that's not the only problem here, the production of energy is strong with this one, too strong. Again this should make the cells burst due too much ATP because of an increase on osmotic pressure. Anakin is producing so much damn ATP (which we can assume it becomes glycogen stored in muscles and fat tissue) his need to be active and just doing something skyrockets, he might as well be the equivalent of being high on meth since birth.
The accelerated cellular formation and death, gives me the horrific idea that Anakin was probably one of these babies that are born premature, but also that he probably was bron with, idk, teeth and already lots of hair. Maybe that's also why he got so tall of all sudden, lots of cellular grow, huh.
Anakin seems to age normally by what are we given by canon. So despite it all, his life-span or aging doesn't seem to be compromised, this is probably because of how strong he is with the Force. In the sense that...he needs the midi-chlorians to handle this much power, but he also needs the force to handle with that many midi-chlorians, otherwise he would have been already born dead.
See, ageing has a lot to do with stem cells. Anakin's stem cells need to be highly prolific and potent to keep cellular division happening at such a high rate, we can infer that any force sensitive has potent stem cells, so the force must inherently affect stem cells. So Anakin's stem cells must be monstruosities in efficiency. If Anakin donated stem cells to someone else, that person would either have a strong inhumne reaction against them or they would get some of the worst cancer ever seen. Again I'm no expert, but the fact Anakin doesn't develop cancer at all as soon as he was born is already impressive. The rate in which Anakin's cells die must be ridiculous, even has a baby, he must have required tons of energy and endure lots of stress which...tracks. The fact he gets electroshocked, burned, gravely wounded or whatever every week or so, must help him to no develop some cancer, which is a bit funny.
But it would also mean he can go long periods of time without eating or resting like...a normal human. Not saying that he doesn't need it, though, but his neural activity and use of the force must be high at all times to burn out that much energy. Theoretically, the production of glycose and glycogen helps him through long periods without sleep or food so he doesn't get long-term damage, or at the very least the ability to keep going, like I said, maybe is like being on drugs all the time; there's still the need to sleep and eat, but he can push his body to keep surviving beyond what's considered normal without having long-term damage. (Don't get happy, this isn't taking into account all of the stuff that happens to him, lol)
The balance between burning too much energy and not burning enough must be insane as well. As Vader, a lot of this probably watered down because all of his energy must be saved for...you know, surviving all the torture. But as a young teen/man amist war? Oh boy.
I'm not an expert, but I'm theorizing that putting Anakin in an induced sleeep must be...fricking hard. Painkillers that work on him? fricking hard. Anesthesia? Probably the same used for big animals, he must be insane and awful for a doctor to work with! Just imagine it, he probably gets injured in such a way that would have anyone else fall unconscious, but Anakin remains awake and will tremendous amounts of adrenaline triggered by a stress response sustented by the extreme amounts of energy that the midichlorians produce.
When it happens in the central nervious system, excess of ATP can produce neuronal dysfunction. In fact, many degenerative mental illnesses have a lot to do with a malfunction of the mitochondrias. There's a corelation also with neurodivergency sometimes, like autism or ADHD. I will leave it there.
And with all of this...I also conclude that Anakin, on general basis, doesn't like sugary things and doesn't even rationalize why, but is because he has already enough glycose. Having something sugary probably gives him a headache.
God what has Star Wars done to me.
Got inspired, made something, hope you enjoy.
Pretty accurate if I do say so myself.
I've been talking repeatedly about this essay and initially thought it would only take a few days to write. That was in January. Half a year later, I managed to gather all the material, ideas, and thoughts, hopefully organizing and transporting them coherently. Finally, I can announce ....
In the galaxy far, far away, the Clone Wars represent not only a time of intense military conflict but also a period of profound economic and political transformation, ultimately leading to the emergence of the Galactic Empire. At the heart of this transformation is the clone army, a force of genetically engineered soldiers created by the Kaminoans. While the primary function of these clones is to serve as the Republic's frontline against the Separatist threat, their existence and upkeep generate significant economic opportunities and dependencies across the galaxy. Through a mix of analysis and speculation-induced personal world-building, this little exploration sets out to investigate the multifaceted ways the Republic profited from maintaining a clone army, extending beyond mere military advantage to encompass a complex web of economic, political, and social implications.
By considering the Kaminoans' strategic aspirations, the economic sectors bolstered by clone-related contracts, and the broader implications for the Republic's stability and public perception, we might gain a clearer understanding of the Clone Industrial Complex. Ultimately, this exploration reveals how the enslavement of clones became a cornerstone of the Republic's wartime and post-war economy, setting the stage and conditions for the triumphant rise of the Empire.
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I'll probably divide the whole piece in two or three parts because it got quite long (12 pages) and I don't want to exhaust everybody with that much meta, interpretation and speculation in one go.
I'm currently working on last revisions and expect to publish Part One on the weekend. After spending months of drafting and crafting, I'm concerned that it'll flop. So, I decided to upload an announcement first to hopefully create a little hype, or at least anticipation.
(tags for folks who expressed interest in reading this beforehand @canichangemyblogname , @ghosts-of-rishi , @clonehub )
Cal calls him dad accidentally once and then proceeds to do it forever, thanks for coming to my ted talk
darth maul and padme amidala: discarded pawns
iain mccraig on doing concept art for the phantom menace / wookieepedia / james dillon / star wars tales volume 6 / paul mcdonald
duel of the fates beeeoeoooommm beooowwww pssssshhhhhhh beooommmbeeoowwwwwww lightsaber noises screaming ahhhhhhh the end ✍️✍️
Honestly at this point the star wars Wikipedia is the only thing left that can still make me laugh
Hello there.. .
knight kenobi
may the 4th be with you!!! luke skywalker save me!!! save me luke skywalker!!!