to come home late at night to my lover who's already asleep and climb into bed beside them
to hush them back to sleep with whispers and kisses
to have sleepily wrap ourselves around each other like being without one another was poison and our arms are the antidote
Fuck pinning her hands above her head. Pin them on her belly. Make her feel your strap bulging inside her. Tell her what a good girl she is for taking all of you.
there is so much inside of me
and i can't get any of it out
in the ways that i want to.
the pretty ways that won't
make people worried about me again.
there are so many things
i want to tell you,
so many ways that i want to
scream and cry for help,
but i just stay silent,
letting the fear pile up in my throat
until it is gargling my words
away from my tongue
as i try to speak them.
i'm sorry we haven't
been talking as much lately,
it's just been hard to breathe.
hard to stomach the
self-inflicted homesickness,
the extra sting of knowing
that it is my fault that i miss you,
that i'm the one pushing you away.
hard to accept that it's because
i am terrified that if i let you in
you will drown with me.
-mars
dumbing down my smart girl with my tongue between her thighs until she can’t even remember her own name
There is no rule book for how you should feel after a trauma.
Some people feel angry, sad, scared, confused or any number or combination of things. Some people don’t feel at all.
It’s normal to go back and forth between different feelings or feeling and not feeling.
Your trauma response does not have to follow rules or stereotypes.
However you are feeling is valid. I promise.
do you ever see a person and you are overcome with incredible fondness? and you just think "oh." but not in a romantic or sexual way you are just filled with warmth and it makes you happy, it just does. and you think "i'm so happy you exist. i'm happy you are somewhere out there in the world, doing your thing". it's love but also not entirely
like people are lovely and i feel it in my entire chest like a burning candle that smells like roses and a sunny day
read literature. be present. make love. make tea. write a poem. cry. watch a sappy movie that makes you want to throw things at it. paint your nails. cook something. call your best friend. learn an instrument. wonder. take a bath. go for a walk. lie down on the grass. listen to the entirety of ur favorite album from 2016. take pics of sunsets. ponder. shamelessly dance in your room. curl up on your bed. make endless wishes to the stars twinkling in the midnight sky. think about nothing. think about everything. think about things so hard that you barely remember what happened moments ago and why you’re feeling the way you do
Just because I plan to destroy you in the bedroom, doesn't mean that I won't worship you at every opportunity outside of it.
i'm so attracted to emotional intelligence like damn the way you actually listen and communicate turns me on