because of the clear differences between ethan as a 32 year old vs 42 year old vs 54 year old, i’d like to highlight some of the key characteristics of all of these “versions” of this character. mi1 ethan is certainly um … a freak, as i like best to describe him. while mi6 ethan, for example, is much more mellowed out and seems to have lost much of his confidence and self-importance after everything he’s been through. and mi3 ethan is still a bit freakish, though has slightly become calmer with age. but first, let’s talk about continuity and things that carry over! because ethan does have a lot of things wrong with him that continue throughout the movies.
lots more below the cut …. god damn
i think talking about ethan’s love life is something that’s going to be very important, because ethan is somewhat of a selfish lover. when it comes to his relationships, he is very much concerned about the way he feels. his dependability on his lovers is clear as day to see, and he needs to be in a relationship to continue functioning like a normal human being. or, at the very least, he needs someone to be the focus of his attention. he needs that “click.” and when that click happens it’s near impossible to shake ethan off. the whole power play thing is also big for ethan; doing things that give him influence over the other person, whether it be narrowing down choices to specifically him ( mi1 ethan ) or saving nyah from security that he called on her ( mi2 ethan ). he’s quite possessive of the people he’s in relationships with, very much obsessive as well. unable to get them out of his head, zeroed in on them at all times.
in mi1, you can tell the moment it “clicks” for ethan. he’s just had a nightmare and when claire touches him to wake him up, he throws her back, points his gun at her and demands to know what she’s doing here. strips off her coat and aggressively searches her, not in a kind or loving manner at all. and then, because he’s ethan hunt, he pins claire to the bed and crawls on top of her, putting his entire body weight on her. he’s just finished screaming at her and now she’s begging for him to listen to her, broken after the “death” of her husband, and being in that position makes ethan realize the feelings he actually does have for her. maybe it’s some sense of importance; ethan feels as though he’s the best person to be in a relationship with these people, because he can do better than their previous lovers. he can protect them and love them. and when things click for ethan, i think any sense of taboo is thrown right out the window. obviously falling for your father figure’s wife is something that is not normal in the slightest. but i digress. realizing his feelings, ethan literally LEANS IN and it looks like he’s going to kiss claire, but he seems to hesitate for a moment and pulls back. and then he gets off of her and sits back in the chair ; and when claire comes over to try and reason with him, telling ethan that she can get the cia to listen to her and believe that ethan is innocent, ethan tells her that if she does that, they’ll just think that she’s working with him and will kill her anyway. leaving her with absolutely no other choice than to work alongside ethan. and when she does this, helping him out, ethan seems absolutely dumbfounded that she ever would. when he’s the one that narrowed down her decision to him in the first place! this just shows me that he doesn’t consciously realize what he’s doing, but the fact that he does do these things in order to trap these women is very um not good!
and then, he finds out jim is still alive. and knowing by this point that jim is the person who set him up and helped kill all of his teammates ( having seen the stamp from hotel drake, chicago in the bible, which is where jim was staying ) he begins to suspect claire, but when he returns to her he just can’t. he wants to believe her so badly, almost selfishly, because he wants her. even when he knows better, even when it could easily jeapordise his entire mission and even his life, he just can’t help himself. and then he ( probably ) has sex with her! after finding out her husband, ethan’s father figure, is alive! so there is very much a pattern with his partners: it all clicks for ethan, he gets selfish, traps them at his side, and then he has sex with them. and after that, he’s completely and utterly in love.
this is especially apparent in mi2, when ethan meets nyah and immediately it “clicks.” he falls for her and becomes selfish in his pursuit, being a general weirdo by following her around and helping her steal something -- then when she steals it, he sets off an alarm to call security in, just to rescue her from security. entrapment! he makes these people dependent on him and kind of forces them into this “damsel in distress” role that he saves them from. making him not only believe that he’s the best option for them romantically, but makes them believe this as well. and nyah doesn’t immediately fall for it, she even calls him out, but somehow ethan finds her physically as well as finds her phone number, and does this um interesting car chase with her. telling her that he needs her just like she needs him. and by this point she might feel that yeah, she does need him, because didn’t he rescue her from security? and because of that she kind of owes him, right? so she goes with him and does this whole undercover thing with ambrose, which immediately makes ethan jealous, showing that very much possessive and protective side of him. and his feelings do end up with the capability to compromise his mission, just like in mi1. because when nyah injects herself with chimera, ethan should kill her. but he can’t make himself do it, and instead he leaves her in order to find a cure and extends the entire ordeal, enough to where he endangers millions of people just because he couldn’t do the right thing. selfish behavior! nyah even asked for it, told him he needed to do it, but he just couldn’t. and by the very end he saves her and probably makes her feel even more indebted to him. and by this point he’s deeply in love with her, and i think that she just … isn’t. sure, she loves him, but maybe she wants something more causal in that she doesn’t want someone to be this dependent on her. she just wants a normal relationship, while with ethan, it will never be normal because he isn’t normal about his partners. so the running idea is that nyah can’t take it anymore -- his behavior, his dependability -- and eventually leaves him. setting him up for mi3, where he meets julia and, most likely, the same pattern occurs.
now i think that mi3 ethan is the most transparent about his selfishness. he finds julia and, instead of telling her who he is, he keeps it a secret. and while i do believe that some part of him wants to protect her from the imf and shield her from that part of his life, i think most of his decision has to do with the fact that … well, he just can’t bear losing her. and telling her that he works for the imf and that his job will likely endanger her and her family might make her leave him. something he just can’t deal with, not when he’s already so in love. so he’s selfish and keeps the truth from her, lying about where he works, even putting on a show about how interesting he finds traffic patterns to all of her friends. charming his way through to them! and more of his weirdo behavior shines through -- using his training in order to eavesdrop on julia’s conversation with her other friends, reading their lips and watching from afar. and he just can’t help himself, he has to chime in with the right answer ( “wanaka!” ) to their personal conversation that he wasn’t at all invited to. freak behavior ethan! and they’re dumbfounded, wondering how the hell he heard them, and ethan just smiles and walks off. he really is still a strange person. and the whole entrapment thing comes up again in this movie -- because ethan is acting odd, something julia notices, and instead of confessing his job to her he just tells her to trust him. and of course, she says she does! and then he goes and marries her, well and truly trapping her by his side. and sure, it’s a cute scene, but the fact that he does this at all is telling to the kind of person he is. even weirder, later on in the movie luther asks him if he and lindsey were sleeping together and instead of answering like a normal person, ethan says, “she was like my little sister.” and luther is like, would you sleep with your little sister? and ethan doesn’t reply!! maybe he just doesn’t designate it with a response, thinking it’s so obvious that he shouldn’t even have to answer, but some part of it may be that … well, he did like lindsey. i don’t at all think they slept together, but it’s entirely possible that he had feelings for her. because the care and love he shows her during the rescue mission is more than he shows for any of his other friends. romantic partners have always been the priority for ethan, always will be, and it’s quite obvious he cares for lindsey a lot, enough to come back into the field just for her. lying to his fiancee even more because of it. so, i definitely believe that ethan having feelings for lindsey is a great possibility. would he have cheated on julia? of course not. he isn’t a bad person at heart, and he wouldn’t hurt her like that. but it definitely seems as though he had not-so-platonic feelings for his former student.
and just like in mi1 and mi2, ethan’s personal feelings get in the way -- which makes sense in mi3 of course, his wife is kidnapped, but he goes completely rogue because of a mistake he made. aka, not changing his name. so davian is able to easily find julia, and because ethan didn’t ever give julia or her family information on who he is, julia’s brother tells a stranger where she is. which you can’t blame him for! how would he have known that he was dangerous? and it’s not like julia’s brother is going to know all of her friends, anyway. so ethan freaks out and tries to find her, bringing his entire team into this situation that he did largely cause, endangering both their lives and their jobs. showing the kind of domino effect of his actions. and he does get her back, but not before truamatizing julia with everything that’s happened to her. and she still stays with him, somehow, but clearly not for too long.
because then everything post mi3 happens and it seems as though julia divorces ethan. of course, no one seems to know for sure what happened, whether she left him or whether she’s even alive or not, which is what ethan wants. but, i do believe that because julia was kidnapped again, she couldn’t deal with it anymore and decided to get a divorce. i think she still loves him in a way, especially as a friend, but being with him just isn’t an option anymore. and ethan’s work will always be important, therefore julia will always be in danger. so they get a divorce and ethan heavily throws himself into his work. this is when he begins doing stunts where he’s actually, truly in danger of dying and this is simply because he has no one to grasp on to. he has no romantic partner and because of that, nothing to heavily focus on and obsess over besides his work. and, i do believe that he becomes more suicidal when julia divorces him, because even in mi4 he climbs a fucking tower where if he fell, he would die! and sure, he doesn’t want to do it at first, but he does. and in mi5 he actually, genuinely dies and ilsa has to bring him back to life just like julia did. and in mi6 ethan does the most insane, crazy shit ever, like driving against high speed traffic or climbing on to a moving helicopter, then crashing said helicopter into ANOTHER helicopter, without so much as a care for himself. no self-preservation at all, and he doesn’t give a shit whether he lives or dies. so, without a love interest, ethan truly does become highly suicidal, turning from something passive to something a little more active. he also blames himself a lot more for things, putting this weight on his shoulders that pushes him to be even more suicidal. such as blaming himself for the bombs being in kashmir where julia is, even though he stopped them from going off! he just loses so much of that prior confidence in himself.
now, of course, ethan isn’t a bad person. he’s compassionate and loving and genuinely feels for people and wants to help them. but when it comes to his partners, he is very, very odd and exhibits intensely strange and possessive behavior. which i think is important to note! he’s not a perfect guy, certainly not the perfect protagonist, and he’s got some major issues. but i think that’s what makes him so fun and interesting, and i cannot wait to see what else he gets up to in future mission impossible movies.
THE X-FILES - Season 1: Mulder + glasses
back on the bjm train?? what can i say, I never really left it. anyway, i’m here to list my (current) top 10 brian jonestown massacre songs bc i feel like it. if you feel like listening along, just click the link on the title of each song to check it out! also, these are in no particular order if anyone was wondering.
hide and seek — uh yeah this is my favorite bjm song to ever exist maybe ever. like, i am in love with this song. if this song turned into a person, i would marry them, because i simply will never get over it. every single day i listen to it because, somehow, it fits every emotion i’ve ever had in my entire life. also, it’s shoegaze, so even better. really, though, any version of this song is wonderful and deserves to be listened to on full volume. the chorus makes me want to kick something and start flying and maybe go to another universe because it’s so unreal how good it is. i wish i could describe it in words, but it’s something that cannot be seen and can only be heard. “we play hide and seek…we play peekaboo.” truly the best lines. i cannot stress how much ecstasy i feel from hearing these words spoken in the background of the chorus. amazing. just amazing.
e to g — otherwise known as “rotary eight,” but was originally titled e to g. a literal shoegaze CLASSIC, one of bjm’s best 90s songs. this song simultaneously makes me want to start weeping and screaming at the same time because i love it so much. it makes me emotional, yet also happy. i simply cannot explain it. anton’s voice is so angelic, it makes me tear up just a little thinking abt it. i will never get over this song. it’s the epitome of my soul. it is everything. it simply must be experienced and felt to even begin to understand it.
chameleons — another classic from pol-pot’s pleasure penthouse (my second favorite album). the first time i heard this song i literally cried. i think the post from that night is somewhere on my old tumblr. anyway, this song feels like a warm hug from your best friend, like someone you really care about is comforting the hell out of you. i genuinely can’t describe it, as is becoming the norm for this list, but seriously. it’s difficult to put into words how much this song means to me. i just know this is one of the best tracks on its album. it wouldn’t be a certified shoegaze classic if wasn’t unreleased!
that quiet song — if you couldn’t already tell, i’m on a bit of a shoegaze binge, but what can i say? that’s my favorite genre of bjm music (and what i believe to be their best music). anyway, this song makes me feel…many different things. it’s so nostalgic to me, like i’ve heard it before, but at the same time i don’t know where i ever would’ve listened to it in my childhood. no one else in my family knows bjm. but it’s so familiar! i think that’s why i’m so drawn to the song. also, it makes me really emotional and gives me a feeling of closeness to the band, like i’m at one of their concerts in the early 90s, when they still weren’t super well known. it’s a look into the past that makes me appreciate bjm so much for what they’ve accomplished. it’s just a beautiful song. nothing more needs to be said.
super-sonic — taking a bit of a turn from the shoegaze comes this certified dandy warhol-turned-bjm banger. the intro is so good i’m kicking my feet just listening to it. the drums, the beat, the visualization of this being played in concert. so amazing. i have no words for how much i fucking love this song. it makes me want to get up and dance and scream the lyrics without a care in the world. if you ever see me grooving along to a song with my earphones on, just assume it’s this one.
cabin fever — FUCK, i think this song made me love matt hollywood and everything he’s ever produced in bjm. but like, seriously, this song is so good and the fact that it does sound somewhat uplifting but also has this slightly sad part to the music, giving hint to the fact that the lyrics are about depression and wanting to die!!! sign me up for real. the guitar riff is just SO good throughout this entire song, and the vocals are so amazing and i rlly just like everything here.
got my eye on you — this is a newfound favorite of mine. i heard it from a youtube vid of one of their live shows and literally fell in love! the beat is so jammable and i absolutely LOVE joel’s part during the middle, him just randomly singing/talking is so great. every time i hear this song i wish i was at one of their concerts bc this one must be THE SONG to hear live. so here’s to hoping i hear it next time!
spanish bee — oh my god this song makes me go feral. first off, the beginning being completely done with sounds from anton is so cool! the mic being tilted, crowd cheering, the person talking etc. but then you get to the actual song and oh my goodododifhdbeh it’s SO GOOD. i really enjoy music like this in general, and anton’s voice in this song is probably the best i’ve ever heard it. his singing is so good, just really raw and raspy and genuinely beautiful and yeah idk man it’s so enjoyable. i kind of wish there were more songs where anton could show off his natural voice and singing ability because, clearly he does have that shit. maybe not in the typical music setting, but i really do just love his voice here. also, the guitar makes me want to start like dancing idek it feels like some shit that would play at a family party or something. i just adore it sm. give it a listen!! especially if you like folk music.
not if you were the last dandy on earth — ever since i witnessed that wonderful scene in dig!, i’ve absolutely adored this song. anton clumsily rollerskating up to a dandy warhols show with signed copies of this song is just unbelievably hilarious. iconic, honestly. plus, this song fucking rocks. blasting this driving around is absolutely the vibe, maybe the biggest vibe there’s ever been. i have nothing more to say except that this is one of their songs i listen to every day and there’s a huge reason for that!
food for clouds — this song will always be one of my favorites. i’ve never met a person i couldn’t win over with this song, simply because it’s so jammable. the mixture of the cowbell, tambourine, drums, guitar riff, and trumpet just does something to people. i’ve witnessed it myself. for real though, this song is a complete banger; it’s different from their more rock sounding songs and has more of an alternative kinda feel. but listen to it yourself and judge! and if this doesn’t begin to indoctrinate you into bjm idk what to say </3
and, lastly, an honorable mention:
anemone — of course, i can’t make this list without at least giving an honorable mention to anemone. while not my favorite bjm song of all time, i can acknowledge that it is, objectively, one of their best songs. hearing this at the concert was an amazing experience, seriously! i really do love it though, like, it’s such a classic and i appreciate it so much. actually, it’s the first bjm song i ever heard, and looking back is so surreal. i can’t imagine where i’d be if spotify hadn’t randomly played this song after one of my playlists ended. i still remember exactly where i was when i heard it, around what time of day it was…crazy. i just gotta thank the spotify algorithm for playing this song, because without it, i think my life would be a whole lot more miserable right now.
i swear to god i had a post about pink floyd's the wall but now i can't find it. i feel like i'm going crazy ( i probably am! ) but anyway. been listening to this album on repeat, it is such a genuine banger, the story slaps and there is something genuinely so disturbing about it all. esp the second half of each side, anything past young lust actually ?? kills me??? and then in the flesh & beyond are just insanely fucked. ‘one of my turns’ and ‘don't leave me now’ are some of my favorite tracks on this album; they're so disturbing in their own right ( one of my turns going into an almost playful, sarcastic insinuation of violence -- while don't leave me now explicitly states the violence pink would like to commit against his wife, specifically ) and there's just! so much emotion and tension teeming in these songs. i love the slow build up in one of my turns, pink just completely snapping as he destroys everything in sight, this song just. ugh. UGH! his soft, melancholic voice growing into something frenzied and screaming, voice literally breaking and wavering with how unhinged he is. that screamed “oh no!” gets me EVERY TIME. it's so good. all of the emotion you can get from the singing alone is just.... truly insane. “in the suitcase on the left you'll find my favorite axe!” is my favorite line in this song because it's soooo. UGH THAT IMPLIED VIOLENCE !! like yes he's talking about a guitar but the word ‘axe’ is still used because pink has these fantasies of committing horrific violence against people. as we see in the next song, which.... i truly do love so much, the heavy breathing in the background accompanied by the deep piano, pink's heartbroken and angry voice..
obviously the threats of violence get a lot more explicit here; talking about putting his wife through the shredder, literally says he wants to beat her to a pulp on a saturday night. it's so horrific. shifting all of his blame on to her, his shaken and screaming “oh, babe” ?!?? god it's just phenomenal. the story is so fucked and you get all of these different emotions, not only from the character but from the instrumentals, the lyrics, you as the listener ... so many different factors combining together to create such a heart wrenching story on literally all sides. then pink smashes the shit out of a tv and screams in rage <3 this man and his violence. then he's like alright im isolating! bye! and obvs who doesn't love comfortably numb? but i think hearing it in the context of this album adds an entirely new layer to it, bc he's like... so fucked he's getting shot with a drug to go perform this concert, then he imagines himself turning into a neo-nazi and killing people for the next three songs. btw when i saw brit floyd they reenacted the scene from comfortably numb where pink is sitting basically lifeless in the chair and the doctor injects him to snap him out of it. it was SOOOOO GOOD. i'm like yes brit floyd this is why you're the best pf cover band ever. anyway. will probs have more thoughts on this amazing album tomorrow esp once the adderall kicks in wooo. might even try my hand at writing this insane man? who knows the world is my oyster
a compiled list of all the fandoms i am in, or at least the media i enjoy. will most likely be updated every now and then.
television !
lost
dexter
the x-files
mr. robot
the umbrella academy
game of thrones
psych
sneaky pete
the walking dead
lucifer
daredevil
sherlock
heroes
the haunting of sunshine girl
band of brothers
criminal minds
fargo
merlin
prodigal son
bates motel
the finder
moon knight
misfits
movies !
mysterious skin
rocketman
zodiac
love & mercy
into the wild
the batman
harry potter
lord of the rings
the goldfinch
donnie darko
marvel
how to train your dragon
the truman show
it
air bud
the conjuring
the shining
pink floyd: the wall
zootopia
knives out
music !
the brian jonestown massacre
pink floyd
pearl jam
nirvana
wych elm
the beach boys
eyedress
led zeppelin
counting crows
sleepy sun
elton john
video games !
outlast
resident evil
phasmophobia
minecraft
the sims
youtubers !
coryxkenshin
izzzyzzz
barely sociable
scare theater
nexpo
kurtis conner
avnj
blameitonjorge
mamamax
nickisnotgreen
berleezy
sarah z
spending my bday listening to jeff buckley... i wouldn't have it any other way
“The trick with the disappearing/reappearing CD that Ethan Hunt (Tom Cruise) does to fool Franz Krieger (Jean Reno) is not a camera trick or any other visual effect, but a genuine sleight-of-hand trick.” Mission: Impossible (1996) dir. Brian De Palma
there’s just one rule : send some into me before you reblog!!
1. what is your favorite song. right now. tell me.
2. what is your favorite album. tell me rn.
3. who is your favorite artist or band? if you’re like me, just give your top 3 or 5.
4. what band started it all for you?
5. shuffle your playlist!!! what’s the first song that plays?
6. what bands/artists do you want to see in concert?
7. what bands/artists have you seen in concert?
8. tell me about your favorite band. go on infodump for me.
9. what’s an album that JUST came out and it’s been on repeat for like 6 days +?
10. what’s a song that literally just came out and you’ve had it on repeat forever?
11. tell me about your least favorite band or artist. go on scream about why you hate them.
12. what is one song that has irreparably damaged your social skills?
13. what is one album that has irreparably damaged your social skills?
14. what is one artist that has irreparably damaged your social skills?
15. what is one band/artist you listen to and everybody knows you listen to them but no one would expect them to have THAT genre?
16. what is one band/artist you listen to that everyone knows you for?
17. what song in your playlist sounds like this 💖❤️🥰🤩💘💕 but the lyrics are 🖤🩸⛓💣🗡🪨
18. what song in your playlist sounds like this 🖤🩸⛓💣🗡🪨 but the lyrics are 💖❤️🥰🤩💘💕
19. what is your favorite album art from one of your favorite artists?
20. SHOW ME A PICTURE OF ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE ARTISTS. RIGHT NOW. I NEED TO SEE THEM.
21. what’s the weirdest song title you can think of right now.
22. i just saw the prettiest motorcycle on the way to school tell me one song you’d blast on a motorcycle while driving one
23. what’s a song that makes you feel like a hot badass?
24. what’s a song you cry to?
25. show me your favorite playlist!!!!! what are some songs on it?????
26. show me two songs with the same title!!! same genre?? different genre??
27. if you can play any instrument, what’s your favorite song to jam to??
28. DO YOU LIKE SHOWTUNES???(((
29. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MUSICAL)?????
30. describe your music taste in one word
31. are you a lyric analyzer or do you just listen for fun. 🫣
32. pretty vinyls or 180 gram vinyls?
33. DO YOU COLLECT CDS????
34. DO YOU COLLECT VINYLS??(((
35. show me your prettiest vinyl🥰
36. show me your favorite cd case or booklet :)
37. DO U HAVE ANY NEAT RECORD COVERS??
38. did one of your favorite bands/artists do a cover???? tell me about it!!!
39. how much do you love music? describe to me in one image.
40. shuffle your playlist and the fifth song—describe it in one image.
saw these two comments on some bjm vids and they spoke to me so much i had to post them here and save them forever. literally, these people put into words what i’ve been unable to express, so please take these comments and know this is how i feel about bjm
In yesterday’s article, I mentioned in passing that Jack turns into the Smoke Monster. This bit didn’t seem to fit the conceit of the piece, but apparently I should have included it, because everyone’s asking about it. I’ve added it into the article in an addendum, and I’m putting it here as well. I’ll try to keep it “brief” and “simple”, citing only information we were given in the show.
The Mother was the Protector of the Island.
The Mother explained to her sons that going into The Source would result in a fate worse than death (i.e.- Becoming a Smoke Monster).
The Mother destroyed the Man in Black’s village in a most Smoke Monstery of ways, seen here:
What I’m getting at here is that, as Protector of the Island, Mother both had the powers of Jacob, and was a Smoke Monster. She split her duties and powers between her two sons, and made it so they could not kill each other. It would make sense that the Protector of Important Magic Island would be the incredibly powerful cloud of black smoke that can read people’s memories and kill them in seconds. Rousseau was right: The black smoke IS a security system. A very important one, meant to patrol the Island and protect it for as long as it can. Mother was this being, and she also had the power of Jacob: to make rules, to give others abilities, etc. Full-on Island Protector.
But she couldn’t decide which was deserving of the role. She loved them both. So she made it so each would get a part of her. The Gray Mother split herself into dark and light. The problem here is that The Man in Black became the Smoke Monster. He became a security system that wanted to leave its post. That was problem with the Broken Island for so long: One of its protectors had no interest in protecting anything. Both protectors wanted the other dead, but neither could kill the other. Thankfully, Oceanic 815 crashed and Jack was eventually all “Fine, I’ll save the world.”
So. How are Smoke Monsters made? They dip themselves into The Source. Into the Water and Light. Jacob tossed his Brother down and then his Brother cracked his skull, fell into The Source, and emerged as the new Smoke Monster. Later, Jacob found his body draped over a nearby rock and tree:
The Water and Light absorbs the essence of a person and turns them into a Smoke Monster. But they don’t need the person’s body. So The Source moved the body outside.
So what happened to Jack in the finale? He went down to The Source. Desmond unplugged the Island and was unaffected because of his Magic Time Brain. Jack had to plug it up again, though, and the Water and Light DID affect him. He sacrificed himself because he knew the Water and Light would kill him.
But the Water and Light doesn’t kill you. We’ve SEEN what it does. It turns someone into a Smoke Monster, into a Protector of The Island. The person needs to be dead, though, as The Man In Black was dead when he reached The Source. Then it spits out the body. So after Jack was consumed by Light and Water, where did we next see him?
The same place The Man In Black showed up. (Forgive the quality of the picture, I just screencapped an edited montage from YouTube).
The Source spit Jack out once it absorbed his essence for Smoke Monstering. But Jack wasn’t dead yet. He was stabbed and bleeding, but not dead yet. Not like the Man in Black already was when he fell into The Source. So Jack walked into the reeds, lied down with a dog, and died. His eye closed.
Then, however many yards away, a new Smoke Monster burst from The Source. And this time, it was a Security System thatwantedto stay. One that even needed to stay. Jack’s whole arc of the show ended with himneedingto stay on the Island and to do whatever he could to protect it. He believed in the Island, and he believed that he belonged there. Now he was even more correct than he thought. Jack could now happily float around in his new form, helping Hurley clean up Jacob’s mess, and protect the Island he loved, in the form of something he once feared. He did this for many many years, until Hurley’s reign ended and they could both pass off their power and position to Walt, the next true Protector of The Island.
Now let’s go to the Sideways, where Jack keptalmostremembering his life. Every other character had one moment when they remembered everything that ever happened to them. Jack, on the other hand, needed several. A moment with Locke, a moment with Kate. He kept not quite being able to remember. Now, one could argue that this is just because he’s Jack. He’s stubborn and resistant, and just needed a while. However, he wasn’t that way in the Sideways. That was one of the main points in that world. Everyone had evolved and grown in their lives, and they displayed the traits they’d developed in their time on the Island. Sideways Jack was not as stubborn as Real Life Jack.
SO. What’s my point? Jack spent we-don’t-know-how-long as a Smoke Monster on the Island. It could have been years or decades or centuries. Hurley lived a life just as long, but he never changed forms. Hurley remained himself. Jack, however, was Smoke Monster Jack. We saw what being a Smoke Monster can do to a person. As Mother said, it can be “worse than death”. You lose some of yourself. You take the form of other people, you float around asblack smoke. Yes, its essence is you, but much of you is lost over the years.
Jack needed those extra pushes in the Sideways world, because he was so far away from it. He spent his life as Jack, but then he spent X amount of years as another entity. He lost a bit of himself, and each time Locke or Kate touched him in the Sideways, he got a little closer to remembering his life before the Smoke. He needed a drastic wake-up call like his father explaining everything to him in order to truly wake up from his life.