I Love This Sm - Blog Posts

Was it a Promise?

Here me out!

Single Zaddy Nikolai at beach 👀

I can picture him splashing along with the Gogolings and playing with them! Oh and not to mention him building sandcastles with them!

How cute ~\(≧▽≦)/~

𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙖𝙙!𝙣𝙞𝙠𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙞 + 𝙗𝙚𝙖𝙘𝙝

notes ✥ planned this to be cute but it went y/n had a "what eye is his colour" moment lmao this is unproofread/unedited!

contents ✥ mild fluff, suggestive, oc kids aka the gogolings (yuri, mari, karol), fem!reader, age differences what's new

You’re just chilling under your umbrella, sipping the strawberry lemonade you ordered from the bar. It’s a one in a million chance for you to have a solo vacation like this—nice resort, nice beach, nice spa. 

You fix your sunglasses and your bikini as your eyes wander around the beach. There are not so many people today—many surfers though. From under this umbrella, you can watch almost everyone. You see a kid building a sand castle near the beach. You see a father teaching his son how to float in the sea—couldn’t he pick a better place, atleast? Like a pool?

But it is not his unorthodox teaching method that picks your interest. That man is incredibly fine. You have been stealing glances at him for a while now. He has three kids along with him. Probably his own. When he first entered your view, his white braided hair was the first thing that caught your eyes. And then the second thing was how his back muscles look like when he carried his daughter with one arm. The third thing you noticed was how playful he gets when it comes to his children. He built some sandcastles together with his daughter and son—the short one, he has two sons.

He is also tall. His shoulders are broad and his body is finely shaped. Sometimes you find yourself leering your eyes downwards… to where your mind wanders elsewhere but you immediately distract yourself. It is inappropriate to check out a gorgeous man like that—what if he's married?

He probably is married. A father with three sons? Yeah, most likely. 

“Hey, lady.”

You turn to your side, seeing a boy standing beside your chair. Eyes widen as you notice that the boy is actually one of the man’s sons. This boy was the sandcastle builder before he roamed somewhere on his own. 

“Hi, little guy.” You greet him back. The boy looks at you and points at your lemonade. 

“I want a taste.” He says casually as his arm reaches out to your glass. You quickly pull back, putting the glass on the armrest. 

“No, no. This is… uh, not suitable for you.” You say. The boy pouts. 

“Whaaa, why not?” He whines.

“It’s alcoholic.”

“Hmph! You and daddy say the same thing! Kolic kolic!” The boy grumbles cutely. You are usually annoyed at any kids who disturb you but this boy certainly has a charm to him—he is still a little annoying though. 

“Maybe you ask your daddy if you want to have some drinks.”

God, the way you refer to that man as ‘daddy’ certainly gives you an itch—that feels quite fluttering. 

“Can you ask daddy for me, pleasheee?” The boy pouts and shakes your arm. “My daddy is… uh… nice! And handchum.”

“Handsome, huh? I can see that.” You smile. “But he’d be more likely to listen to you than a random woman like me, no?”

“Mmm, I dunno. Daddy is confusing sometimes…”

You chuckle, holding yourself back from ruffling the little guy’s hair. He does look similar to his dad, like a mini-version of him. The boy shakes your hand again. “Lady, lady, do you wanna build a sandcastle with me?”

“H-Huh?”

You think that little guy has some kind of mind control power. Before you realize it, you are halfway building a sandcastle with him and his sister. You learned that his name is Karol—he said ‘Kawol’ but his sister corrected it—and she is Mari. You do not dare to ask about their mother, but there is certainly something about how Mari is excitedly clinging to you. 

“I don’t have girls in the house,” Mari says as she decorates her sandcastle with random seashells from the beach. “Daddy always plays with me, but he is daddy and not mummy.” 

“But daddy does his best, isn't he?” You reply carefully, not wanting to step into some deeply personal stuff. Mari hums and nods. 

“My daddy is the best!” She giggles. “Right, daddy?”

Just then, a shadow looms over you and you almost shriek as you look over your shoulder. It’s him. The man. Your eyes are trying hard to roam everywhere but fixate at him. God, he looks much bigger up close—thighs—he is so tall than I expected—chest—his eyes are pretty. 

Your mind is jumbled as you try to form a word. How strange it is for him to see a random woman playing with his two kids. You don't want him to think of you as a potential kidnapper, god damn it! You quickly get on your feet, standing by his side—and only then your eyes are on the same level of his (kissable) collarbone.

“Hi, there. Were my kids entertaining you so much?” He starts first. His tone is playful and teasing, but friendly. He grins. “I’m Nikolai. You?”

You nervously say your name, smiling sheepishly. “Uh… your son, Karol, asked me to play together… so, I, uh…”

He cackles—his voice is heavenly, thundering butterflies in your stomach. “Is that so? He is a friendly little dude. Since you came with him, I take it he wasn’t being annoying?”

“Not at all, sir.”

Nikolai waves his hand dismissively. “Oh, sweetheart. No need for formality. You’re making me feel old!” He pouts—and he is probably in his mid to late 30s to be looking so adorable. He bends, just enough to reach Mari and ruffle her hair. Just then, you realise another one of his kids is sitting beside Mari, eyes scrutinising you. You awkwardly smile at him. Mari is rambling to his brother, and you heard Mari call him ‘Yurochka’. Maybe he is a quiet one. 

Nikolai chuckles as he pats her head. “Were you having fun, little dove?” He asks. Mari nods happily and gives him a big seashell from her collection. Nikolai takes it and shows it to you with a boyish grin on his face. But that grin turns into a tiny smirk when his eyes leer over your body. 

The heaviness tugs again in your stomach and you feel like your thighs are quivering. 

This won’t do. This man is definitely much older than you—he has three kids who are all beyond toddler age! 

“Uhm, I-I think I should go… It’s been fun spending some time with the kids, N-Nikolai.” You say. Nikolai blinks confusedly at first before he smiles. 

“I should be thanking you, sweetheart. I’m pretty sure they had fun—”

“Incominggg!” 

“Woah!” You yelp when Karol suddenly barges between Nikolai’s and your legs. He is small but his energy is high and enough for you to stumble on your footings. In that tiny window of milliseconds, you are about to accept the embarrassment of falling like a fool in front of a handsome guy but suddenly, you feel your body being grasped tightly from behind. 

You open your eyes wide and your heart cannot be much faster. His strong arm is wrapped around your waist and you are already gripping his arm like your life depended on it. You feel your back is against his firm chest and your bum is brushing closely against his waist. 

Maybe falling face down onto the sand is better. 

“You okay, love?”

You tilt your head upward—and maybe that is a bad decision—and see Nikolai’s face close to your proximity. His eyebrow is jerked upward but then he chuckles deeply before he smirks. He says nothing but you feel a squeeze on the side of your tummy, exactly where his hand is placed. 

“Haa—!” Your breath hitches and you step away. You want to say sorry but what is there to apologise for when it feels good? 

Flustered and embarrassed, you stammer, “I-I must go! Have fun with the kids, sir!” You turn around and quickly walk off, needing some time alone to calm your heart. But you catch his last words at you. 

“Bye, bye! See you around, sweetheart.”

It sounds like a promise and you wish it is. 

©doukeshi-kun 2025 — do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, more @/cherikolya

if you like my works, consider buy me a ko-fi!

₊˚.༄ hide + seek

spooktober 2024 masterlist

☾₊‧⁺˖pairing: asylum patient!nikolai gogol x asylum attendant!fem!reader

☾₊‧⁺˖genre: angst + fluff; slightly suggestive

☾₊‧⁺˖content warnings: manipulation/mind games, infidelity, nikolai's a bit of a meanie in this one lol

☾₊‧⁺˖notes: meant to follow the events + be a side story of the get free series (between pt 1) just pretend it's still halloween okay

☾₊‧⁺˖ word count: 5.3k

"Happy Halloween!" You chirped happily, handing Nikolai a pumpkin-decorated gift bag with his favorite Ukranian candies and sweets. There was an assortment of minky binky, roshen, and ABK chocolates inside⎯which you'd learned were his childhood favorites.

Your patient paused before opening the bag and observing the treats inside. He looked...melancholic almost? He took the candies out in his hand and turned them all over to look closer at the packaging, silent.

You opened your mouth to speak but closed it, unsure if you did the right thing. Your husband had warned you not to bring gifts for any of the patients⎯and especially not Nikolai⎯because it would promote unwanted feelings and attachment, but you brought them behind his back anyway. You hated how strict all the protocols in place were, and how they treated the patients like they were evil monsters instead of normal people that just needed help. After all, Nikolai wasn't a monster. To you, he was⎯

Arms wrapping around your waist and warm breath hitting the shell of your ears forced you out of your thoughts, and you yelped as you felt Nikolai's toned body pressing into yours, "Thank you, dove~" He patted your head affectionately and you felt some loose strands of his white hair tickle your face. "Halloween is actually my favorite holiday, y'know?" He hugged you closer, and you felt your back hit the wall of his holding room.

"When I was a kid, my neighbors and I used to go around the nearby houses and say 'Varyatyky or sweets!' It was meant to be a a tradition to 'overcome' evil spirits!" You nodded and tapped on his chest to tell him he was crushing you, and he finally released you from his grip.

When he pulled away, his once sad eyes were now sparkling with excitement, and you gave him a questioning look, which he seemed to catch on to, "Ah, I was a bit sad earlier because the candies you gave me reminded me of my past life," He solemnly took your hands in his, "And I've been trying to escape the old cage I was in for a long, long time. I guess it made me feel weird..."

You tilted your head in curiosity⎯you swore that every time you thought you understood Nikolai, he always threw you off again. He giggled suddenly and spun you around, catching you back in your arms and embracing you again so your back was against his chest, and you shrieked from the slight dizziness, "You make me feel all sorts of weird emotions, ptashka, but I don't hate it."

For some reason, that made you smile softly as Nikolai rested his chin on your shoulder, his heterochromatic eyes still trained on you. You placed your hands over his, which were wrapped around your waist, and paused momentarily before peeling them off of you as usual. Your eyes caught your reflection in the steel mirror off to the side. Although distorted, you could clearly see Nikolai's body wrapped around your smaller one and how relaxed you looked. It definitely didn't look like an attendant and their patient.

It felt nice. Being held like a lover felt nice.

This was bad. He was being too affectionate, and you were playing along a little too complacently. Were you really this touch-starved? Wouldn't letting another man touch you⎯a married woman⎯like this be bad in any other situation?

Your doubts and uncertainties were interrupted when Nikolai whispered into your ear.

"Love, can we go play in the courtyard later today?"

₊˚.༄

The crisp autumnal air hit your skin, but it was nice. The orange and red foliage contrasted the stark white asylum you were in all day, and the tan trench coat you threw on helped keep you cozy and warm in your short dress. Well, that and Nikolai, who was connected to you with linked arms. He would stop every few steps to squeeze you in his arms, claiming he was "too cold and needed heat" even though he refused to put a coat on.

The patients had just finished their midday snack, so he smelled like the powder-mix apple cider that was served in the cafeteria. The scent of sour apples and cinnamon was comforting enough to you, so you didn't complain much about his antics.

You exhaled, watching your breath materialize in the chilly air, "This weather...it makes me wish I could give out candy to the trick-o-treaters," you smiled sadly to yourself, "I always like decorating the house during this time of year and seeing their happy faces when they come to our door..."

Nikolai paused, stopping your steps briefly and walking in front of you, holding both of your hands now. He walked backwards, crushing leaves under his feet, "Why don't you do it tonight, then? You get off work before they start to come out, right?"

You shook your head, "No...it's been four years since the asylum opened, and in those four years, my husband has always forced me to work the night of Halloween, so I can never celebrate." You paused, looking up to see some doves flying in the sky, but Nikolai pulled your head back down to him.

"That's a shame, dove. If you were with me, we could dress up in matching costumes together and surprise all the kids," He started skipping frantically, pulling you away from the main area of the courtyard, "Oh! I could do your hair and makeup, too, I'm pretty good at that sort of stuff, y'know? I could even make you a custom costume!" You squealed as he started to skip faster, spinning you in circles and making you dizzy. You were both getting farther away, the fountain no longer in sight.

He pulled you close to him again, his blue and green eyes wildly piercing into your shaky pupils, "If you just left him, we could make that a reality, myla." His hands grasped your arms tighter and your lightheadedness was making his words feel hypnotic, "Why don't you just leave him already? You don't even love him, do you? He hurts you; you hate him. And I hate him even more. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him. I fucking ha⎯"

"Ahh⎯Ow⎯" You gasped sharply from the pain of Nikolai digging his nails into your arms and pulled away from his tight hold, mind still a bit hazy. "S-Stop it, just stop it, Nikolai..." He gave you a disapproving glare, but you continued, "He's my husband and my boss, so I have to obey him. I can't just up and leave him whenever I wan⎯ack⎯!" You stepped backwards and stumbled on a stray boulder, and time felt like it went slower as you lost your balance and toppled onto the ground, your back and head hitting the dirt.

You groaned in pain, feeling the ache in your skull. Your patient, however, didn't seem too concerned and only sneered when he watched you hit the ground. You narrowed your eyes at him and felt his presence as he crouched down to assess you for any injuries. Nothing too serious.

He giggled manically while picking some dried leaves out of your hair, "Say, dove, if you really miss the kids, why don't we play a childish little game?" You grunted and tried to swat his hand away, but the dull throbbing in your head prevented you from being successful.

You tried to glare at him, but a chill ran down your spine when you glanced over to see a wide grin on his face and the same dark, unreadable look clouding his eyes, "Hmmm, why don't we play hide and seek? It's a fun game, right, ptashka?" He gleamed brightly at you again but barely gave you a chance to object, "Yeah, that sounds fun, doesn't it? How about you count to thirty and then come look for me?!"

You winced again, placing your hand over your head to try and alleviate some of the pain. How desperately you wanted to scream at Nikolai to stop and help you, but the constant pang blocked you from doing so. He tilted his head innocently, "Oh, a prize, you ask? Well..." He pondered mockingly, "What about winner decides? And no cheating, okay?" He took your phone and walkie out from the pocket of your trench coat and shut down your phone so no one could track or contact you. You whined when he threw a part of your coat over your eyes to blind you.

His presence left you as he dusted himself off and stood up again, "Thirty seconds, okay, myla?" You tried to reach for his foot, but he was long gone, and all you could do was listen to the distant crunching of leaves and hysterical giggles grow farther away from you.

Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven...

₊˚.༄

The sun had set by the time you opened your eyes again, finally mustering up the strength to get off the ground. You rubbed your back and looked around⎯it had probably been closer to thirty minutes since Nikolai had ran away.

Internally, a tick set off in your head telling you to look for him. You checked your empty pockets and decided that you should try and catch him first before reporting anything. After all, he was technically your responsibility, and the thought of your husband hounding you over losing a patient hurt your brain more than the spinning pain.

You tried to think rationally⎯if you had woken up on the ground, then surely no one had noticed both of your absences or caught Nikolai. Just calm down and try to find him.

You looked around, trying to guess where he'd ran off to, but the ground didn't give you any clues as to which direction he'd gone. Not that you were surprised, though, since he had plenty of experience running away.

It's fine, it's just a silly game⎯he didn't really run away or escape. You tried to calm your mind and think of a plan to get him. Deciding that treating this as a game would help your sanity, you cupped your hands around your mouth, "R-Ready or not, here I come!" You squeaked out, your shaky confidence showing through your voice.

You ran towards the fountain, hoping Nikolai would be there since he was always drawn to the koi fish and rose garden. You walked towards the direction of the structure, the crisp air filling your lungs as you frantically looked for him. Calm down, he's definitely there. You smiled to yourself, envisioning him playing with the fish or tossing rose petals into the water pools of the marble fountain. It was a ten-minute walk, so you tried to enjoy the fresh breeze blowing through your hair and massage the knots in your strained back.

What you weren't expecting was...nothing. There was just a maintenance worker tending to the garden and pulling out weeds. No sign of your patient. You walked around, looking behind every bush and up into each individual tree, but you still saw nothing. The gardener would glance at you occasionally, but you kept searching tirelessly, trying to go beyond the bounds of the elaborate labyrinth to see if he was hiding in a more inconspicuous spot. Still no luck.

You mustered up the courage to go up to the worker and see if he'd be any help. Maybe it was cheating, but you were starting to get impatient and doubt was beginning to sink in.

You cleared your throat, "Ahem," the worker turned around, "Excuse me, but have you seen anyone pass through here recently?"

The old worker smiled, the corners of his mouth crinkling upwards in a smile, "Well, yes, actually⎯lots of people. Anyone in particular you were looking for?"

You breathed a sigh of relief, "Have you see a tall man with white hair? It's probably in a braid, and he has heterochromia⎯one eye is green and the other is a bluish-gray with a vertical scar," The gardener only gave you a confused look, "...he's pretty young and fit..." You trailed off, concerned by the look you received.

The elderly man scratched his head, "I haven't seen anyone like that around." He paused, recognizing your attendant uniform, "Is he your patient? We can get security involved if it's a serious problem. Actually, let me radio the bos⎯"

You grabbed his hand apprehensively once you saw him reach for the walkie on his belt, "O-Oh, sorry, I just remembered I handed him off to another attendant." You let out a fake laugh, trying to reassure him no action was needed. No matter what, you couldn't get your husband involved.

The worker eyed you cautiously but then shrugged, "They really overwork you attendants so much you start to forget things, huh? I've heard you're understaffed."

You forced out another laugh and nodded, "Haha, yeah, they do..." You perked up, smiling as another precaution, "Thank you for your help, though, sir! I-I'll be on my way now, so please resume your work." You waved to him and started walking back towards where you fell.

"Young lady! Where are you headed off to? The asylum's back there!" Your eyes widened at his voice calling out after you, but you turned again, feigning confidence.

"Just taking a walk to clear my head!" You waved again, and he shrugged and tipped his hat to bid you farewell. You turned around and cursed yourself silently, both for acting suspicious and still not finding Nikolai.

As soon as you couldn't see the old gardener anymore, you started sprinting, hard, back towards your starting point. The fall air was now burning your lungs and your heart was beating violently fast, swelled with anxiety about the whole situation, and the fact that Nikolai could very well be gone by now. And it would all be your fault.

A pit formed in your stomach as you thought of all the potential repercussions you'd have to face, but also at the thought of never seeing Nikolai again. Of knowing that was your last interaction. Somehow, the thought made you want to run faster. It felt like you had to find him.

₊˚.༄

The forest. You hadn't checked the forest yet.

It was darker now, the once coral sky had turned navy blue, and the sky was much dimmer. Almost two hours had passed, but you still hadn't found Nikolai.

Despite the cold, you were sweating from anxiety. There was no way you lost him. Maybe if you called for him, he would come out of hiding? He did seem to have some sort of obsession with you. You looked around again before stepping closer to the mass of colorful trees.

"Miss, is everything alright?' You whipped your head around to see the second-to-last person you'd want to encounter at the moment⎯Lacey.

Her blonde bob was swaying from the light breeze and her emerald eyes shined with fake concern, "Where's your patient? Gogol, right? Nikolai Gogol?" She ran up to you and tried to reach for your arm, but you stepped away before she could touch you.

Somehow, you felt strange. No one had ever said Nikolai's name before, as they were too scared to acknowledge him because of all the crimes he'd committed. The way his name flowed off her tongue in such a tender way irked you for some reason.

"He's fine." You mumbled, forgetting to add a nicer tone to your voice. You coughed suddenly, remembering that Lacey was likely there for a reason, and that she'd run off to the boss immediately if she caught on to the situation at hand. "Ah, did something happen? You should be done with work by now, right? It's late."

Lacey shifted, peering over your shoulder like she was trying to look for your patient; you felt your palms getting clammy. "Well, you and Gogol have been gone for two hours, and your walkie and phone both aren't able to be contacted. The boss sent me to look for you because he was worried about you both..."

Worried, sure. Definitely not just because he was a control freak that needed to know your wherabouts all times. She gasped dramatically, bringing a hand up to her mouth, "He didn't run away, did he? He isn't with you⎯" her brows furrowed and she looked around, "Should we call security? They can deploy helicopters and dogs to search from him!"

You felt a lump in your throat when she said that, fearful of her taking action and exposing you. You reached for her shoulder reassuringly, "Oh, well, there's no need for that," you raked your mind for any sort of plausible excuse, "Nikolai's just...um...using the bathroom! He's in the woods right now, so I'm just waiting for him to finish." You tried to laugh to throw in some emotion, "Sorry I didn't tell you in the first place. It's kind of TMI and embarrassing!"

Lacey stared at you suspiciously but nodded slowly, "Oh...I see." She grimaced at the thought, "Men are really gross, aren't they? For a patient to do that...how uncivilized..." You forced another painful laugh and agreed with her, wrapping your coat tighter around yourself to shield your shaking body. You couldn't tell if she was dumb enough to believe you or not.

Lacey smiled at you, "Why don't I wait with you, then? Once Nikolai comes back, we can all walk back to the white ward, and then I'll go home!"

Your mouth felt dry. Shit, you were really going to be caught now. You couldn't tell her that you still didn't know where your patient even was. For all you knew, he could've successfully escaped the asylum premises by now. You tried to open your mouth to object, but you didn't know how to do so without making yourself look more suspicious.

Think. Think. Think, damnit.

Lacey's humming made your head hurt, but you suddenly thought of another excuse, "Oh, Lacey, could you actually bring me a new walkie? My old one and my phone died earlier, so I gave my walkie to a guard and asked him to bring me a new one, but he never did." You clasped your hands together, "They should be in the break lounge, and you can ask IT for help configuring it. That way, I can radio in, and you can head home!" You hoped that convinced her, and luckily her eyes lit up at your suggestion.

"Sure! It's honestly a little cold out here, so I'll go back inside to get you a walkie." She pouted, "I kind of wanted to meet Gogol. He's stuck to you all the time and hates all the other attendants...I'm sure we would get along, though!"

Lacey flashed the brightest smile at you, and you had to restrain yourself from throwing a rock at her sly face as you adjusted your coat. Certainly she didn't think Nikolai would make an exception for her⎯she was way too irritating and two-faced. "Well anyways, I'll head back. I'll come back to this spot afterwards with some guards to get you and Gogol." She waved goodbye to you in a childish manner before skipping away, and you watched intently until she became a small dot in the distance.

Your palms got sweaty again as you realized you had thirty minutes at most to find Nikolai. Your heartbeat increased as you ran into the forest and looked up into the branches, hoping to catch sight of him.

Still unsuccessful, you started to panic. "Kolya!" You cried out, cupping your hands over your mouth to project your shouts, "Kolya, where are you?" You ran deeper into the woods, dirtying your clean shoes and getting scratched by branches along the way. It was dark and the foliage covered the light, so you couldn't see very well.

The hairs on your neck stood up, and you heard some distant rustling. Looking up, all you saw was a dove in a tree, feeding some of the babies inside its nest. You stopped to stare for a bit before moving on, going deeper into the mess of shadows. Anxiety kept creeping up on you as you continued shouting Nikolai's name.

"Kolya, please! I give up, so you can come out now! Please, come out, please⎯" You kept running, and your throat felt dry as everything started to dawn on you. You'd been wandering for ten minutes. It was getting late, and beads of cold sweat stuck to your skin. Your body still hurt. Lacey and the guards were going to be here soon, and when they were here, they'd find out you were lying about everything, and Nikolai was actually nowhere to be found. You'd lose your job and very livelihood. Your husband would get angry and take it out on you and your family. You'd be locked away for aiding a global criminal in escaping one of the most secure places in the world. Or even worse, you'd be declared mentally insane and be stuck here, as a patient for your husband and Lacey to look down on. It was all your fault for believing you could trust Nikolai or be his friend.

Your back hit a tree trunk, and you slid down slowly, curling up into a ball. Tears flowed out of your eyes, and you whimpered to yourself. You felt ashamed and alone. For a moment, you felt used. You cried, feeling desperate. You couldn't believe you were about to ruin your life over conflicted emotions you had over an insane man. You should've just been a good, compliant wife and not follow your heart. You should've never tried to seek freedom.

"K-Kolya," you sobbed silently, "I just wanna see you...one more t-time. Don't leave me please, you..." You're all I have. You're the only person in this world I can really talk to. You couldn't speak the words out loud, in denial over your forbidden feelings. You closed your eyes as you sobbed, only looking up when something small and hard got crushed under your shoe.

You wiped your tears and nose with the sleeve of your coat, eyes focusing on a white and red striped circular object on the ground. A minky binky⎯one of the candies you'd gifted Nikolai. You got up slowly upon seeing several more leading deeper into the woods, resembling a trail of Ukranian candies.

Your feet started to pick up their pace as you followed the trail, stopping when you got to a clearing, where a short stump was surrounded by an assortment of dried leaves.

Your teary eyes widened when you finally saw your patient, glowing from the moonlight and with a dove perched on his hand. Nikolai released the bird into the night sky and smiled at you in a melancholic way. "Oh, you found me. Took you long enough, ptashka. You really are terrible at hide and seek."

Without hesitation, you ran into his arms, wrapping yourself around his frame. You helplessly gripped onto his sleeves and dug your face into his shoulder, not wanting him to see any evidence of your tears from earlier. "...I didn't think you would run away so far...I thought I lost you..."

Nikolai only laughed. "Dove, honestly," he said cheerfully, "You were never going to find me, I'm far too clever for that!" He pulled you away from his shoulder, but what he didn't expect was your face, illuminated in the moonlight, with tears clinging to your eyes and your lips and nose swollen from your earlier weeping.

"K-Kolya, please don't leave me again," you wiped your eyes and sniffled, "I was so s-scared⎯"

Nikolai's faced softened and he embraced you in his arms, stroking your hair gently and trying to comfort you. This was...strange. He'd never seen you display such strong feelings of emotion or sadness. And to think you were crying over him of all people...he didn't hate the fact he was making you cry, but it bothered him that it wasn't because he wanted you to cry. A small frown appeared on his face and his heart felt...slightly heavy from seeing you in this state.

He spoke in a soft voice, trying to reassure you with his presence. "Hey, dove...I didn't mean to make you cry, really…I was just trying to make it a little harder for you to find me, I wanted to surprise you." You continued sniffling and Nikolai used his thumb to wipe away more of your tears, trying to make them stop. "Why...Why are you so sad?"

You covered your face in embarrassment, ashamed of breaking down in front of your patient, "I⎯", you started, head screaming at you to shut up and step away, but your lightheadedness made you more vulnerable, "I thought I was going to lose my job, and I didn't want my husband to find out about us," Nikolai's head perked up, but he rubbed your back.

"Was that the only reason?" He stared into your eyes sympathetically, but also like he wanted to hear more from you.

"No...I also...was scared I'd never see you again." You exhaled shakily, "Your mannerisms, our conversations, you always holding my hands or hugging me, I don't...I don't hate it...They've made my dull life somewhat more interesting." You looked away, "If I lost that...if I lost you, I would feel so empty again. You make me...happy for some reason."

Your patient's eyes widened. Nikolai made you...happy? But he wanted to make you free. Or was he just using you to alleviate some of his boredom? Wasn't making you happy the same as him committing himself to you, and you tying him down by making the two of you codependent? But that was what he was trying to escape from...he wanted to be free from the control and ideals of others.

You went on, talking about how Nikolai was the only person you could talk to about your personal life, how he made you feel special at times, but Nikolai's own inner thoughts drowned out your words. Stop. Stop it. Stop your babbling. He fumbled a lollipop out of his pocket and stuck it into your mouth, silencing you like a baby with a pacifier. His eyes brightened, overwhelmed by you. Your eyes wavered, not being able to handle the intensity of his stare, and the same thought plagued both of your minds.

Were you catching feelings for him? Was he more attached to you than he thought he was?

Nikolai caressed your cheeks, drying the last of your tears with his dampened sleeve. He slowly kissed your eyelids, catching the saltiness of your teardrops. "Myla, the words you're saying and the game you're playing...you could make a sane man mad."

You blushed, suddenly being hyper-aware of the fact you were both alone. The thought made you shudder. Anything could happen and no one would see.

"Are you cold, dove?" You yelped when Nikolai's strong arms pulled you into his lap, so you were straddling him. You placed your hands on his shoulders and squirmed awkwardly to try and get off, but he firmly held you in place. He dug his face into the crook of your neck, "Oh, your skin's freezing. Should I warm you up?" He smirked playfully before biting down lightly on your neck, making you jerk up and gasp. He started kissing the mark, simultaneously holding your legs open and rubbing circles on your thighs. A small moan left your throat, which you instantly regretted, and you tried to close your legs, but it was no use.

You squeezed his shoulders, "H-Hey, what are you doing⎯s-stop⎯"

Nikolai giggled mockingly, "I technically won our little game of hide and seek, so this is my reward. Winner got to choose, remember?" He continued littering your neck with kisses, "I want you to treat me like your lover for ten minutes, or until we get caught." His dark eyes cut into you, "Otherwise, I'm really running away. And you won't be able to stop me." You whimpered as he licked down your skin, baring his teeth against your sweet spot, about to leave a hickey.

You mustered up some strength to push him away, "W-Wait, you can't leave a mark then." He frowned, staring up at you. You sighed, feeling defeated but knowing you didn't have any other option but to comply with his wishes, "Kiss...lower instead. The marks won't be visible..." Your cheeks flushed as you threw off your coat and slowly undid the buttons on your uniform, the dress falling down your shoulders and stopping right under your collarbones.

Nikolai watched as the fabric dropped and nuzzled into your exposed skin, "So soft..." He kissed down your collarbones, dragging his tongue with each kiss. You moved your hands up to tangle in his white messy hair, pulling him closer as he made his first mark above your collarbone, the feeling of his teeth biting down making you jolt and press down farther into his lap.

One of his hands left your waist to pull your dress down further, and you gasped as the cold air hit your chest. You tried to instinctively cover up, but Nikolai was already palming one of your tits through your lace bra and kissing the other. He groaned from finally being able to explore your body more, and you could feel the tent in his pants pressing against your panties.

"S-Seriously, Kolya..." Your skin felt hot, the feeling of being this desired feeling foreign to you since you and your husband barely got intimate...and when you did, there wasn't any real love or passion to it. Having someone worship your body like this⎯it made you want more.

You pulled on Nikolai's hair and gently rolled your hips to press down more on his bulge, drawing deeper groans from him. "Myla, a-ahh, you're so pretty..." He kissed in between the valley of your breasts and looked up at you, "You should just be mine and mine alone." He sucked on the exposed part of your tit and marked another spot there, kissing it afterwards. He repeated his motions on the other breast, his touch making you whine, the sound being absorbed by your lollipop.

"Mmm...your skin is so nice...I wonder how sweet you taste, ptashka." His other hand was still caressing your inner thigh, and it was dangerously close to slipping inside your lacy underwear. He could just⎯

"Miss! Mr. Gogol! Are you in there?" You both stopped as you heard Lacey's shouting voice and saw cut-up rays of light through the tree trunks. She had come back as promised with guards, evident by the heavy footsteps coming towards your direction.

"Ah, I guess our time's up, then? Too bad..." Nikolai sighed disappointedly, teasing you with one more bite over your bra, earning a surprised yelp from you, and you hurriedly re-did your buttons. Nikolai looked upset, wishing you could've gone further, but deep down, he knew this little back-and-forth game between the two of you wouldn't end anytime soon.

He got up slowly from the stump and swiped the cherry-flavored candy from your mouth, savoring the taste of you on it. You pouted, but he only laughed at you in return, slowly walking away as you picked the twigs and leaves off your trench coat. He stuck his tongue out before licking the lollipop, "Don't be sad dove, I'll taste you someday~"

You ran up to meet him and tried to get the blush off your cheeks, already trying to think of a lie to tell everyone on the long walk back. He intertwined his hand with yours, giggling to himself as Lacey and the guards finally came.

He was sure you'd scream when you saw the hickeys at home, which he'd purposely left in a diamond formation, like the ones on playing cards. That way, you wouldn't forget he was the one who marked you, and that your heart belonged to him.

in honor of getting my own sky dragon, i decided to draw one :D 🌅

may i share with you the best video on the internet

Atsushi and Akutagawa just cuddling, well TRYING TO CUDDLE

Idk but like I have this one idea that anytime when Atsushi starts to feel like strong positive emotions that tiger is gonna kick in thus I can see him being very careful with Akutagawa with that happens 😂 idk why but it be funny if Akutagawa was just thinking in head going HOLD ME LIKE YOU MEAN it or something

just Sua with long hair ⭐

ROTTMNT: Intellectuals AU

Kay with the random AU posting (again)

That episode where Raph, Mikey, and Leo become smarter than Don due to hijinks except it’s a whole AU where they were born smarter, with a reverse on ninpo and tech use

Raph, due to being the eldest and strongest, follows Splints into mechanics. Leo adores space (Jupiter Jim) and studies to become an astronaut. Mikey is.. well he’s pretty smart emotionally already so there’s not much difference besides knowing more psychological terms lmao.

Don on the other hand is.. unlucky so to speak. Still a prodigy, but has to work a loooot harder than his brothers. Having lost his passion in tech due to a severe inferiority complex, he’s the only one to pickup a ninpo weapon and explore the world of magic in a hands-on lens. Still loves tech and studies theory, just doesn’t have the motivation.

I love fics where people (the general public) assume Pepper doesn’t like Peter on account of him being much younger and married to her ex husband and co parenting her daughter when in reality in my heart of hearts I know this is their relationship. They gang up on Tony. They have tea sessions. Tony is horrified of them being in the same room together because he knows they will be exchanging intel. Peter loves her daughter and so Pepper loves Peter. It’s very simple. Peter is free child care. Peter keeps Tony out of stupid shit, because Tony’s just a little afraid of Peter like he is of her. They’re a very healthy functional coparenting unit.

sorry for the slow posting :(

literally did the line art for this in late march, why am i like this

05/19/24

Hey! Welcome to Tumblr!

Could you draw the whole gang chilling in a poorly built blanket fort?

Hi!! Thank you :D

They're willing to do anything for this kid... ME TOO. THE BLIND FARMER IS RIGHT I WOULD DIE FOR THEM /lh

I don’t think he hears genuine laughter very often

Smth I did in my drawing class that I really liked :))

my attempt at humanizing horse girlies✨ I'm not a character designer so I have no idea what I'm doing but it IS a lot of fun to mess around with different stuff <3

This is so cute and human though 🥺

i watch baseball for the side quests

update: i think you should look at the reblogs for more important baseball hijinks

DDVAU! Joel design update!! Silly human that works in the shadowbeans cafe with his wife

Year 2 wouldve been so cute if someone came up to Harry, maybe extremely nervous, but it's because a lil garter snake by the woods was hurt and they wanted Harry to ask why it refused to eat the rats they were giving it until the snake could hunt again

Collection of “I’m Robin and being Robin gives me magic!”

Part 1 | Part 2 of Ghost Jason Series

“ONE DAY, I’M GONNA SET FOR YOU.”

pokemon au: trainer Ranboo

I like to think that Chuuya understands why Dazai left and wasn't all that mad about it at first.

I think the hurt of being left built up over the four years. I think the first week or so Chuuya was like "Yeah? Well good for him I guess, better be quieter around now" and then he turns to tell Dazai something on a mission and he's not there. Of course he shrugs it off, no big deal he just need s a brief adjustment period. Shouldn't take long I mean how much can one person really affect your life?

And then he finds himself looking for Dazai to ask the name of the musical that has that one song. It got stuck in his head. Again. And it's annoying him and he makes it all the way to his living room before remembering Dazai's not there.

And then he sees the lump of Dazai's clothes on the couch and goes to tell him to at least put it away and he opens his mouth before remembers.

And then he makes food and when he's setting up his plate he notices he made enough for two. He won't admit it but he's not sure if that shit will remember to feed himself.

And then he's still buying the shampoo and conditioner Dazai likes. Not Chuuya's problem anymore, he thinks as he puts them away. Better to stalk up in case it's needed later.

And then he's still leaving Dazai's favorite blanket on the couch, he's still keeping bandages in his bathroom, still driving by the river to make sure there aren't any limbs sticking out, still watching the movies Dazai showed him and he wouldn't tell anyone but Dazai being gone affected everything and he's happy for him- really but if he ever sees him again he better have been just as fucked up.

And then he sees Dazai again, four years later on the day he came back from a mission. And he looks. Fine. Better than his Mafia days, better than when he was with Chuuya. Lucky him.

-E

Another daily dose of Nart memes and this time— Team 7

sensei needs to bone

Sakura-sensei gets its own post bc it turned out way cuter than I expected <3

the serizawa + shou resolution we never got. they make me so sad dude

HI here’s the main 3 as their animal versions all together. SORRY for the boring headshots I will be doing a fullbody lineup of them soon too because they deserve it

Just finished my aizawa fan art !! im so happy TwT!!!!

I WIN

ALSO SOME SIDE DOODLES IDK

the subtitles were wrong so i fixed them :)