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The 2am snack rush

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I could fix him. I could make him worse. Good for you. I could gently take the weapon out of his shaking, blood-soaked hand and hold him until he finally believes that he doesn't have to be defined by all the ways the world has hurt him. Then we could ruin the lives of everyone who has ever treated him like he's a monster who doesn't deserve love.

Dcxdp #13

People thinking Danny is older than he actually is misunderstanding. the common Trope of Ellie and Dan calling Danny mom and trans Danny. 

I want a misunderstanding that he's from the medieval era. where it was normal for people to have kids young. There are jokes about Him technically being royalty thrown in so it makes it seem like he was medieval royalty. They think he died in childbirth. If Danny or Ellie mentions her being an attempt for the perfect son it can be misinterpreted as just needing an heir or a son because of misogyny. Danny mentions the rest of the Clones, they could think that they were miscarriages due to being too young. Both Dan and Ellie make jokes about almost killing Danny all the time and they think that is because of childbirth. I never see what era people think Danny's from when this misunderstanding is in place, so I think this would be funny.

I have a head cannon that Dick isn’t as phased by things in Gotham as the rest of the batfam. Per my post about Dick getting to do whatever he wanted as Robin, I feel like Bruce learned what he should censor for the other Robins but he only learned that by having Dick experience it first. So now Dick will just walk into the most cult like violent scenes and he’ll just be walking around like he’s in a Home Depot. Like one of my favorite panels of Dick is when he is with the titans and he tastes the “blood” on the floor to see if it’s blood or not. I just feel like he does stuff like this all the time and Jason and Tim stare at him like he’s insane.

Every goon in Gotham feels bad if they break Nightwing’s nose or knock out one of his teeth. It’s a thing. You fuck up the pretty bird’s face and he’s…fine with it? But it’s not fine. It feels wrong, for some reason. You don’t touch his face.

(Cut to Dick peeling off his domino mask in an alley asking Jason if it’s “broken” and his nose is halfway across one side of his face. Dick seems largely unbothered by this. Jason is seething with rage. Damian is already sprinting down the alley ready to exact revenge on the newbie goon who accidentally went high instead of low on a lucky hit. Dick asks Jason what’s wrong. His nose is so badly broken, there’s blood welling up in his tear ducts. Jason just stares at him, at a loss for words entirely)

Dick, at a family dinner: -and THEN the cheese in the fondue started spinning like crazy because he used the wrong kind of cheese, HAHAHAHAHA! I mean, it was basically string cheese. And the fondue spinner was going so fast it started levitating off the table!! So now this giant cheese tentacle is just whipping around, slapping people in the face, knocking over wine glasses, and the guy just SCREAMS and dives under the table like-

Batfam: *between laughing and annoyed*

Jason: I refuse to believe this happened. This isn’t fair, how could this happen without me there?!

Tim: PLEASE tell me this happened at a high-profile gala. Please, please, please.

Damian: *arms crossed, looking disgusted* Only you could witness a culinary disaster and recount it like a battle strategy.

Dick, sticking his tongue out at him: You’re just jealous you weren’t there to see it in person, little D.

-

Dick, in his head: The Marcalone family made a deal with the Sarvanos so they’re both going to be at the harbor on the 14th at 1AM. Julian Viscan knows about this deal because his thugs caught wind of it but he decided to stay out because he’s dealing with Bella Cane after she started a riot on his territory so she can get her hands on the shipment. But I can take out both the Marcalones, Saravnos, Viscan AND Eli Smith, the gun dealer, if I move Viscan to interfere with the shipment on the 14th. Cane's also making moves on Smirth's supply chain while troubling Viscan, which means if I pull Viscan into the fray, I can collapse all four of them in one night. But I need to make sure Vsican thinks Smith's going to betray him to do this.

Dick, to the batfam: *gesturing wildly, eyes laughing* So then, the cheese tentacle just SLAPS this guy's glasses right off his face and he screams and then he starts screaming even louder that he's going to start suing EvErYtHiNg-

Dick: If I remember, Viscan's sister works at Smith&Hopkins Inc so if I mess around with the BPD and get them involved with the company, I can control all 4 of them while causing trouble for-

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