If Anyone Tries To Reanimate Dick, He Will Require Bath Toys In His Lazarus Pit

I've always loved the idea that the Bats are feared in Gotham for the exact same reasons that the Justice League and the rest of the world deems them to be trustworthy and safe

Batman is respected outside of Gotham because of his staunch refusal to kill even when it would be easier. Gotham criminals are terrified because it's well known that his no-kill rule is his biggest hard limit on what he's willing to do. Pretty much everything else goes and they know it

Nightwing is widely beloved for being the nicest and happiest member of the Bats. His smile and constant playful banter are contagious and always make a situation seem better. In Gotham, the only other people who smile and laugh and have that much fun in combat are Harley Quinn and the Joker

Red Hood is a well-known murderous crime lord, but the League is able to trust him because he's one of the Bats. Gotham loves Red Hood the crime lord because his regulation of drug dealers and constant protection of the weak has done wonders for the lower class of the city. He's terrifying because of his open affiliation with the Bats

Red Robin is well known to be a skilled detective who always has a plan to save the day. In Gotham his meticulous investigations and planning are scary because no one can beat them. It's nearly impossible to outsmart someone who is the smaller more calculatedly vicious version of the Batman himself

When Robin doesn't unsheath his sword or bring it with him to a fight, other heroes are glad to see him get used to less violent methods of combat. If someone from Gotham sees Robin enter a fight without a sword, they're terrified because everyone knows Robin deems his sword to be the most efficient weapon for fighting, and if he's not using it things are going to be far more brutal than normal.

Signal is the only Bat that goes out in the day, and is therefore considered less broody and scary to many non-gothamites. Gotham is scared because he's a Bat that shows up during the day.

Orphan/Black Bat is a very skilled hand to hand combatant that the League knows can handle herself. In Gotham, anyone her height that can still win against someone like Bane in a one on one fight is immediately on the 'do not anger' list.

Spoiler is friendly and gets along pretty well with everyone. She's easy to talk to and work with. In Gotham her friendliness has made more than a few give up important information by accident. They like talking to her despite knowing full well that its a terrible idea. She puts them at ease more than she possibly should because she sounds just like one of them

Gotham always flips everything on its head, and that applies to how and why the Bats are perceived the way they are too

Dick takes Cass and Step dress shopping before a gala. Cass notices Dick looking longingly at this one navy dress.

The next day Dick wakes to find the dress hanging in his closet.

Dicks nervous, buts puts it on. He puts on his dress shoes and walks out of his room. Bruce stares at him for a minute.

Bruce: I think you need to change…

Dick (panicking): Oh yeah I can totally change, I’ll wear something more appropriate.

Bruce (steps forward and puts a hand on Dick’s shoulder): I think you need to change the shoes. The black dress shoes don’t match the dress. Sorry chum I didn’t mean to scare you. Clothes have no gender. I would never love you any less no matter how you dress.

Dick: You mean it?

Bruce: Yes. Now come one I have a pair of flats and heels that would go prefect with that dress. And you can wear one of my mother’s necklaces.

Danny: Hell didn’t want me when I died, and heaven cast me out. So now I’m stuck in between on this little place called Earth. Sometimes I like to think it’s my own personal hell, but who am I to judge?

Tim, who was on day 5 of being awake: have you tried to fight god?

Danny: oh, I did, and I won. But the bastard is manipulative and decided that I wasn’t allowed in heaven because of pure spite.

Tim: interesting. Do you still want to fight gods?

Danny: depends. Me and Hades are under a truce, and Zeus kicked me out of Olympus. Sometimes I thought about fighting with Wonder Woman to get a rise from Zeus, but Hippolyta told me I wouldn’t be invited for dinner if I messed with her daughter, sooo….

Tim, pulling out his phone: cool, cool, so his name is darkseid, and he’s an asshole

Danny: say no more

doodle set in pre-movie times from a few months ago,,,

love loses once july begins

Dick, describing his happy place: I'm in a cabin, in the middle of nowhere. Inside it's just me and that stupid slimey clown, Joker, and I'm beating the hell out of him. I break a dining room table over his head. Then I rip off his arm and shove it where the sun don't shine. Then, I reach down his throat and shake his hand.

Bruce: Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and schedule you for a psych eval.

visual shitposting

my fyp aligned for one thing and i don't even know what or why

Dan who, for some reason, ended up in the DC universe after having his timeline erased and bolting so he could then return to fuck shit up for his past (is it even his past self anymore, after having his timeline erased? Is he still Danny?) self: I'm going to destroy everything.

Martha and Jonathan Kent: Simply exists and shows him kindness.

Dan:

Dan a moment later: You know what? I can hold off on that for a while.

***

Martha and Jonathan Kent: We really want a child.

Clockwork, who really shouldn't be looking at this timeline and sticking to his own and stop being such a nosy bitch: I can help with that!

Martha and Jonathan Kent looking at this gigantic, walking tank of a man who looks like he needs help: Is kind to him

Martha and Jonathan Kent literally a week later: So we accidentally adopted an adult but I don't think he knows that yet.

***

Dan a good few years later, hasn't aged a day but nobody really talks about it, currently sipping some milk minding his own business:

A crash echoed as the Kent's go and check it out. Dan is debating if he should sit still or bolt out of the door too.

Martha and Jonathan: So, how do you feel about a new sibling?

Dan: I don't have any siblings.

The Kents, holding up a baby Clark: Well you do now!

Later Dan cries after finally realizing that he's been adopted despite living with these people for years.