Freefallintothevoid

Sometimes I do anatomy studies and the character suddenly has an automail arm :')

He’s a great influence (Tim broke into his flat)

please stop babygirling your way into problems you can't babygirl your way out of.

it's a fun hc of mine that during dick's robin days, he went through the "omg i wish i had a cool secret language so i can have secret conversations with my friends" phase all kids go through. but one of his closest friends at the time also happened to be the batman, a guy with possibly the most bizarrely diverse arsenal of skills in the world. bruce sees the merit in the entire idea of a coded language to communicate rudimentary information when they can hear but not see each other. so why not make a code built on bird vocalizations? it's pretty much incomprehensible to anyone without a trained ear or comprehensive knowledge of birding and impossible to even passably mimic without proper training, so while the chances of interception are high, the chances of someone understanding it enough to interrupt during the middle of a bird-convo and feed false information are not.

it also, batman and robin come to realize, feed into the "holy fuck our vigilantes are cryptids" idea. bird sounds that come from seemingly no determinable location (ventriloquism) come to mean batman and robin are nearby. to the goons of gotham, bird song becomes inextricably connected to getting your ass kicked by the dynamic duo. the real reason why criminals don't operate during the day is because they get skittish and jumpy about if the sounds of birds chirping are real birds or some masked vigilantes lying in wait to rock your shit, and it's just easier to commit crimes during the night when all the birds are asleep so you know for sure.

ornithologists have boards on their bedrooms dedicated to the bird-bats of gotham. they've written dissertations.

the bird language becomes a bit of a batfamily bonding connection. teaching each other how to do different clicks and whistles, making up slang so bruce and barbara can't complain of clogging up comms with non-mission relevant talk, searching up birds to associate them with different people, psychologically terrorizing the criminal populace of gotham by chirping at them...

how the bird code works is that there's a bird assigned to each one of gotham's major heavy hitter criminals and vigilantes, and a few assigned to heroes out of the city (by which i mean the ones the bats associate with often enough to have a sign to address by). the only birds i've got so far are the robin (for robin. self-explanatory) and the glistening-green tanager (for the joker). i only have one for the joker bc i wanted to reference this hc in one of my fics and so searched up green birds to find the most eye-searingly annoying-to-look-at green bird i could find, and the glistening-green tanager was the closest one to fit the bill.

Lucius Fox must be having SUCH a bad time if he knows Bruce Wayne’s secret identity because now he has to sit through board meetings next to a man who he knows broke sixteen bones between two henchmen last night because they didn’t give Batman the hideout address fast enough but is somehow patient and self-controlled enough to let Lisa from WE Accounting rip into him without even twitching.

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

Things AO3 is according to this hellsite:

- My husband (still at war)

- My wife (lost at sea)

- My beloved (in a coma)

- Gone forever (will be back in a few hours)

Dick's commitment issues (?)

Jason: You have the worst commitment issues I’ve ever seen.

Dick: Excuse me?! I don’t have commitment issues... I commit to everything. Jobs? Had like six. Identities? I’m legally at least four different people. Trauma responses? Baby bro, I’ve been loyal to mine since I was eight.

Jason: …That is deeply unsettling.

Tim: *muttering* At this point even the Joker has a stabler identity.

DO NOT SUPPORT SALVATION ARMY