Listen I Get Ppl Are Deeply Into The Whole “voldemort Is Far More Powerful Than Harry”-thing Because

Ron, standing before a plate of warm cookies: Are these venomous?

Tom, smiling: No, Weasley, that is impossible.

Ron picks one out and walks off: Cheers!

Ron takes a bite and starts foaming at the mouth:

Tom: They are poisonous, however.

Harry: Did you seriously make poisoned cookies?? He could die???

Tom: This was a valuable life lesson. Besides, we have magic. He’ll be fine.

Harry: What the hell is the lesson here??

Tom: To pick up a dictionary and stop asking foolish questions.

Tom: And I’d be careful, Harry.. you may be next.

draw me after you (let us run), chapter 61, and i'm c r y i n g

Tom had a theory that Harry was secretly a parselmouth, even though Nagini denied it.

How else would he get along with Tom’s familiar better than Tom himself?

Another little pic for "can't stop confessing".

I adore Nagini (the great magical snake, not the maledictus fuckery) and my fanon is that she'd be absolutely thrilled for her Tom to snag himself such a powerful, warm and cute sspeaker ❤️

tom, at 3am: harry wake up

harry: *sighs*

tom: harry please wake up.

harry: no

tom: harry

harry: what!

tom: would you love me if I was a worm?

harry: I would feed you to Hedwig

tom: :(

Harry: You killed my parents.

Voldemort: Yes, but didn’t you hear what they said to me?

Harry: I was 15 months old-

Voldemort: They said, “What are you going to do? Kill us?”

Year 2 wouldve been so cute if someone came up to Harry, maybe extremely nervous, but it's because a lil garter snake by the woods was hurt and they wanted Harry to ask why it refused to eat the rats they were giving it until the snake could hunt again

🥰💗😍😭

Mermaid AU but Tom was the one who caused the ship to sink and he is not there to save Harry, but to keep him.

hey hey hey what if when voldemort took harry's blood for the resurrection ritual, they actually became family because they now share blood????

like, as far as magic's concerned, they're kin now. blood-bound. and with that come a lot of complications (and pleasures?). perhaps voldemort is now an honorary potter-slash-peverell and can use the invisibility cloak.

and/or perhaps harry is now an honorary gaunt and is, like, voldemort's official heir--which comes with a whole bunch of advantages for harry, like voldemort not being able to hurt him without serious magical consequences, because that would be unnatural and tantamount to hurting his own child, and magic's like:

"nope. can't do that. or you can, but golly gosh it'll hurt a lot! and will also magically incapacitate you since your magic is bound to your heir's, so you'll feel every bit of the damage you do. not to mention that you were already bound by a horcrux bond, so now you're doubly bound, which basically means you're fucked. congratulations, lord voldemort! 😇"

what if harry accidentally finds out that he has access to voldemort's sekrit gringotts vault under the gaunt name?? or gets a letter from gringotts informing him of it? what if he visits gringotts before voldemort realises what's up and literally drains all of voldemort's finances to fund his war?

or what if, what if, the death eaters, who swore lifelong fealty to voldemort, now have to follow harry's orders too, since harry is voldemort's heir and the magical vow of fealty transfers to him, too? what if harry inherits control of the dark mark?

just picture harry summoning bellatrix lestrange with her dark mark and, like, making her buy muggle children ice creams or something. and she can't even say no??? imagine her simmering and then boiling in rage as she treats innocent muggle kids and gets hugged like some sort of beloved neighbourhood grandma while she fucking hates having all those filthy little hands on her.

lmfaoooooo harry would totally pop off and voldemort wouldn't be able to do a damn thing about it. lucius malfoy kneeling before harry and freeing all his house elves after buying each of them a cute little manor. severus snape (bc even though he's a spy, he's still bound by the mark) actually having to be fair in potions and having to be nice and genuinely helpful to neville. fenrir greyback (let's imagine he has the mark, too) having to quit his perverse kid-hunting and eat nothing but veggies for every meal.

meanwhile, despite all of these enraging, humiliating scenarios that make voldemort want to explode harry into itty-bitty pieces, voldemort also feels the absolutely fucking bizarre urge to protect harry bc harry is his family now and voldemort's never had family before. and that, of course, escalates to insane amounts of possessive protectiveness when he discovers that harry's his horcrux, too.

also, while trying to figure out how to undo this stupid fucking kin-bond, voldemort discovers that the only alternative is to convert it into a marriage bond, which would simulate the kin-bond closely enough to satisfy magic, but still wouldn't solve the problem of harry being able to command voldemort's servants as his spouse (and thus his co-lord).

just imagine voldemort slowly losing what remains of his mind as he realises there's no way out of having his life revolve around potter... and not in the vengeful way it's been until now, either!

voldemort has to resign himself to teaching harry how to be a proper heir and/or spouse and how to dance/eat/talk as per pureblood culture, but harry's just over here literally thumbing his nose at tradition, deliberately botching up which forks to eat with, stepping on voldemort's toes at every waltz, and relishing being able to make voldemort's death eaters grit their teeth in disgust while still having to bow and scrape to him.

and then dumbledore finds out about this nonsense and simply passes away and/or has an existential crisis and/or tries to figure out how to twist this to his advantage so that voldemort is finally contained and controlled, but little does he know that sweet li'l bby harry doesn't need any help with that.

oh, harry controls voldemort, all right. yeah, being voldemort's heir/kin means he has to listen to his "sire" to a degree, but that's only the surface stuff--lessons, rituals, socialising, etc.--but his spirit is entirely his own and, increasingly, so is voldemort's heart.

this would be such fucking comedy gold lolololol. gotta write it one day

HOLY CRAP THIS IS AMAZING

Second version of sculpture Harry done! This time, inspired by the Gorgon creature :D

new headcanon just dropped, tom prefers the middle seat on planes