If You Were A Character In Your F/o’s Media, You’d Be The Fandom’s OTP. There’d Be Gifs And Edits

@ the creators of my f/o’s media when they kill them off

Tom Tom Club - Genius of Love (1981).

sorry if this has been answered in the past, I looked around for a bit but wasn't able to find an answer. Idk exactly how to word this...how does one exactly spend time with a fictional character/have a relationship? I hope that doesn't sound rude, I'm questioning fictoromantic and wondering how I would actually have a relationship with a character.

hey! moon here. it’s fine, we haven’t been asked before, and repeat questions aren’t the end of the world anyway. don’t worry about your tone, either! there’s no rudeness in just wanting to understand.

as for the actual content of your question, it’s a bit different for everyone. i consider myself committed to my f/o in the same way one would be committed to a real person. in my own relationship, there are a few things i do that address your curiosity and that qualify it in my mind as a relationship in the truly binding sense, aside from just a general feeling of affection and devotion. it’s a bit long and your mileage will almost certainly vary with this, since this sort of thing varies from relationship to relationship and i can only really describe my own feelings and practices. it’s all discussed under the cut.

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“Don’t wait for it. Create a world, your world. Alone. Stand alone. Create. And then the love will come to you, then it comes to you.”

—    Anaïs Nin

Hey! Do you have any tips on how to cope with the loneliness that comes from not being actually able to hold your partner? ;-;

hey there! this is always a tough one and a LOT of people struggle with it in terms of these sorts of relationships. it was really tough for me in the earlier stages of my relationship, too.

it’s different for everyone, of course, but there’s multiple things you can do to bridge the physical gap. “proxy items” are really helpful, i find, and can be almost anything you feel fits. some people have the stereotypical body pillow or plush of their f/o, but others simply associate a plain pillow or soft object with the f/o and hug that. it’s always a good idea to have something soft you can hug, and if you consistently think of this object as some aspect of the f/o or just them while cuddling, it can really help in creating an association and making it feel as though they’re with you.

it’s possible to create that association with other things, too. i wrap myself in a specific blanket that reminds me of my partner if i need a hug, and holding something small to fiddle with like the charm of a bracelet if i’m out and about works for holding hands. ultimately the idea is simply to think of the physical contact you want in conjunction with a specific situation or object until those things get associated in your head and bring the same comfort.

imagination helps, too! just relaxing for a bit and visualizing these things can feel pretty good, especially if you have a vivid imagination. there are techniques for improving your visualizations you can find all around the internet, and they’re great for creating an experience that’s strong, even if it’s not physical.

this should absolutely be taken with a grain of salt, as well, but some people report that lucid dreaming helps with this. in a lucid dream, you’re aware you are dreaming; with practice in cultivating this awareness you can consciously shape the plotline of your dreams and participate in them actively. it’s not for everyone, and it can be quite a process to master it enough to control your dreams. there are multiple techniques of varying ease concerning it, some of which involve attempting to force sleep paralysis (for the record, i wanted to mention this method specifically to say it’s potentially extremely distressing and to avoid it). there are a lot of resources on that, too, if you want to look into it - lucid dreaming is just fun in general, anyway, if it’s a good fit for you!

there are more things than this, of course, but those are what come to mind immediately for me!

-mod moon

i have something to say 

Okay hear me out on this one

Cosplay your f/o

No seriously, cosplay them

Because then you’ll have their clothes to wear when you feel like you need them, maybe your f/o wears a necklace? You can wear it everyday! Do you imagine your f/o wearing a certain perfume or aftershave? Spray a tiny bit of it on the part of the costume you’re wearing (just be careful not to use too much)!

Seriously, choosing to cosplay my f/o was probably the best thing I did because it’s so comforting, trust me and try it out if you can!

Hey real quick: kintypes are you.

If you have a kinlist with a lot of kintypes that you relate to or you connect to rather than those things being you, then you may want to look into otherhearted/fictionhearted or synpaths. 

Another quick note: being otherhearted is not “lesser otherkin”. It’s just a different experience that some people have and can be as important in a person as a kintype.