Hey! It’s Been A While Since I’ve Written Any Resource Posts, And This Is A Little More Of A Positivity

hey! it’s been a while since i’ve written any resource posts, and this is a little more of a positivity post than a resource, but hopefully it will be helpful.

i’ve seen a lot of selfshippers/fictos talking about why and when these practices are acceptable and when they “cross the line.” in my opinion, i think some of these statements can create an uncomfortable or even implicitly hostile environment for certain mentally ill selfshippers and fictos, as well as reinforce ideas the community is trying to fight. these statements, even given various nuances, boil down to a few core ideas a number of people in the community seem to hold. the idea seems to be that “selfship is OK because it is just for fun/a coping mechanism, and selfshippers can still date in real life. because selfship is just for fun/a coping mechanism, taking it too seriously inherently means a loss of touch with reality, which is a personal fault.”

my greatest concern with this has been that it is potentially rather dismissive of the feelings of mentally ill selfshippers who experience psychosis. such people DO have a loss of touch with reality, through no fault of their own - and for many, this is something they cannot “fix,” even with medication or therapy. if one’s psychosis influences them to believe in or experience something that isn’t objectively real, but this belief or experience does not cause them distress or even improves their quality of life, it is not the responsibility of individuals without the condition to denigrate their experiences or urge them to “fix” their psychosis. in a community which is vocally supportive of mentally ill people, it is the responsibility of the members of that community to support the experiences of all mentally ill people. selfshippers and fictos with psychotic conditions are just as valid in their feelings as any of the rest of us, even if their conditions cause them to experience their f/os in a way we do not.

in addition, it isn’t fair to assert that selfship is okay because it’s “just” a coping mechanism, “just” for fun, or because all fictos/selfshippers prefer (and will abandon the practice for) a “real partner.” if it improves one’s quality of life and harms no one, there is no need for further justification, regardless of whether or not it fits with what outsiders consider “normal.” selfship (and fictosexuality) is not only okay when it’s easy to justify to outsiders. appealing to standards of “normalcy” only creates acceptable targets - “we are okay because we are normal, but those people who disagree with us are not normal, and therefore not okay.” that, ironically enough, is the exact logic on which “cringe culture” operates. you do not have to be “normal” to be worthy of respect and understanding, ever.

please be open to respecting experiences you may not understand, particularly for those whose experiences are already highly stigmatized. to all the “weird” selfshippers and fictos - those of you with psychosis, those of you who take it “too seriously,” those of you who never want a real life partner - you are just fine the way you are, and you don’t need to change for anyone. as long as you’re happy and your selfships/ficto relationships make you happy, you have nothing to worry about and no one here to answer to. live your life according to your own needs and standards.

OMG PLEASE REBLOG THIS IF YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE NEVER TOO OLD TO GO TRICK OR TREATING AND THAT IT IS FOR EVERYBODY OF ANY AGE

PLEASE I NEED TO PROVE THIS THING TO MY MOM

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from-the-choirgirl-hotel-blog

5 years ago

Hello everyone! Before I start I wanted to thank you for your time to read this all, I know it’s a lot to take in. Weather you are kin yourself, have no idea what it is, or even if you dislike it, the fact that you are willing to make an attempt to understand is a gift indeed! ☆ Kin has had a bad name, and it’s poorly explained I’ve seen too many times. It also isn’t the most liked group of individuals. In fact, a lot of blogs refuse to even interact with them. I used to hate kin with a passion, until I sat down and tried to understand it and learned for myself it wasn’t at all something negative! So sit back and prepare for a class on Kin! ☆ The whole idea of Kin is tied to the belief of the multi-universe theory and reincarnation. The term ‘kin’ comes from the Celtic world meaning ‘remember’ because kin are people who remember their past lives! The multiverse theory is the idea that our universe is not the only one, but one that is parallel to an infinite number of universes. These universes can be vastly different, but also could be our with the slightest difference down to just how a tree grew 2 inches more left, crazy to think about how many there are right? This being said, this means there can be universes that mermaids exist, or that hogwarts was a real place! This sounds extremely far fetched I know since this can include universes based on all FAKE AND FICTION. Consider this if you may then; all of these universes seep into another in several ways, and we don’t always understand them. The fourth wall, the page in the book, even an idea of a story or character are like a tunnel we see with our universe on one end and the other universe on the other end. ☆ “Well that’s not true, this _____ was created by this person!” Yes that is true, all credit should go to the creators of these works. But these ideas have to come from somewhere right? The creators of these things can be the tunnels, being the one which we are able to perceive this universe in our universe, like watching a television or reading a book. Every universe that will ever exist have already existed, such as the example of being APH America kin, before Himaruya was even writing about Hetalia, the universe already existed, he was just able to see it before others! And through that universe it was seen in our universe through his mind, and from his mind to his hand and then his pencil. See what I mean? Cracks in our universe to let us see other universes aren’t always going to be cracks. ☆ We also incorporate the idea of reincarnation, that we are reborn. We had a past life, perhaps as a squirrel or as an angel. If energy can not be created or destroyed, then it must travel. Travel from one life to the next, and sometimes from one universe to another. We call it past life to make it easier to explain, but universes aren’t tied to one timeline, you could have lived that past life long ago, or perhaps haven’t yet, time is a messy thing, but space is even more so!☆ So…we understand the background a little, what exactly does being kin mean? How do you know your kin? These are frequently asked questions with answers I have! It is not a choice who you are kin with, just like choosing who you are isn’t a choice or your sexuality isn’t a choice. “I really like this character so I’m gonna be that character lol” is NOT real kin. Naturally you’ll like yourself obviously have an attraction to that character but you do not chose. How you discover you are kin is by receiving memories of your past life being that person, animal, etc. You also get feelings or emotions that feel out of place and not yours, initiated by something that reminded you subconsciously of your past experiences. ☆ The troubles of being kin is being smart and taking in the consideration of “is this a real memory or is it just my imagination”. kin people who seem to have endless 'memories’ might just be someone who has lots of head canons, which is why it’s always important not to let you'r emotions control your mind and analyze yourself and the possible memory! If you didn’t question being kin and not crazy then you really need to analyze yourself, since you need to keep your logic. ☆ Kin is not a coping mechanism. Kin is not a coping mechanism. KIN IS NOT A COPING MECHANISM. people who claim that it is are not understanding kin correctly. Saying it’s a coping mechanism is claiming that none of it is real to you at all, and you damage the community name. While yes kin can help you as a person grow, but that is just a side effect, not it’s purpose. Kin doesn’t have any set purpose, but for each person to just remember the past. ☆ Whats worse then calling kin a coping mechanism? KIN ISN’T A GENDER. The worst thing ever to say kin is, is a gender. You can not sexually identify as a person, or “I sexuality identify as a wolf” wolf is NOT a gender. AMERICA is not a gender. Kin is a PAST LIFE. Those who claim it to be a gender are the worst of our kind. “I sexually identify as an apatchi attack helicopter” is why we are hated is because people make us hated for this reason. ☆ As I said before, kin memories are used to help someonr as a person grow, which brings me to my closing explanation, what do kin do? The challenge that kin face is getting over the fact that they aren’t who they once was. It’s a struggle for many to accept they aren’t that anymore. What does this boil down to? ~Believing in yourself~ that the you, here and now, are better then you were before. You remember your past life but you also have to learn from it. You made mistakes and you learned things in that life that can be continued in this one, such as values and things you devolved in the past life that now are yours with a whole new life to start! Isn’t that amazing? A new life just for you to start, so don’t ever waste it obsessing over your last one okay? ☆ Another big problem is people forcing their kin identity onto others. It’s like getting into a strangers face and yelling “I’M TRANSGENDER” because the stranger doesn’t need to know, the stranger doesn’t care. Strangers on Tumblr too, you can post about it, but actively trying to force others to accept you isn’t going to work, and only damage your chances. Plus, your memories are really personal, fun to share but they are still special and sacred, keep them special. ☆ In summary, kin is misunderstood and disliked for good reason, but represent the community in a way you want us to be viewed. Let people ask you about your kin, not go to them and tell. Learn to leave the past in the past, and above all else, enjoy this life as your only and last.♡

(Please reblog so others can learn and be aware? Even if you’re not kin it would be so appreciated!)

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from-the-choirgirl-hotel-blog

5 years ago

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