Its Shat Fuck Friday

H̴̪́̀e̸̪̞͖̽̂l̴̪̞̃͐ļ̶̡̼̓o̵̺̜̽̋͠ ̵̢̫̝͛À̴̫̓r̷̼͖̈́c̸͔̲̉̕h̴͈̖̼̕i̵̪͛̑v̴̖̻͎̔̏̇i̵͉̯̬̒́̿s̴̺̩̀̈́͊t̷͕̿͊͋!̸̺̈̄̈

i think the near-extinction of people making fun, deep and/or unique interactive text-based browser games, projects and stories is catastrophic to the internet. i'm talking pre-itch.io era, nothing against it.

there are a lot of fun ones listed here and here but for the most part, they were made years ago and are now a dying breed. i get why. there's no money in it. factoring in the cost of web hosting and servers, it probably costs money. it's just sad that it's a dying art form.

anyway, here's some of my favorite browser-based interactive projects and games, if you're into that kind of thing. 90% of them are on the lists that i linked above.

A Better World - create an alternate history timeline

Alter Ego - abandonware birth-to-death life simulator game

Seedship - text-based game about colonizing a new planet

Sandboxels or ThisIsSand - free-falling sand physics games

Little Alchemy 2 - combine various elements to make new ones

Infinite Craft - kind of the same as Little Alchemy

ZenGM - simulate sports

Tamajoji - browser-based tamagotchi

IFDB - interactive fiction database (text adventure games)

Written Realms - more text adventure games with a user interface

The Cafe & Diner - mystery game

The New Campaign Trail - US presidential campaign game

Money Simulator - simulate financial decisions

Genesis - text-based adventure/fantasy game

Level 13 - text-based science fiction adventure game

Miniconomy - player driven economy game

Checkbox Olympics - games involving clicking checkboxes

BrantSteele.net - game show and Hunger Games simulators

Murder Games - fight to the death simulator by Orteil

Cookie Clicker - different but felt weird not including it. by Orteil.

if you're ever thinking about making a niche project that only a select number of individuals will be nerdy enough to enjoy, keep in mind i've been playing some of these games off and on for 20~ years (Alter Ego, for example). quite literally a lifetime of replayability.

Gemma Scout, on the phone with her bank: Yes I’m just trying to reopen my account. ‘Marked as deceased’ yes I know, but I’m not dead. Yes I know my husband sent you my death certificate. My death was faked in a really elaborate scheme so—no, not by me. Look just turn on CNN. I’m all over the news. It’ll—'can I come in with my husband?' No, I can’t. He’s dead now. Well maybe not dead. But he’s probably never coming back alive. They can’t get his innie in the elevator. Yes they tried that. But he sticks his arms and legs out real wide like a cat so they can’t get him in the elevator.”

SHITTY JUNE WIP FOR 4/13 IN CASE THE FINAL VERSION ISNT DONE BEFORE THIS BEAUTIFUL HOLIDAY IS OVER

people might think creating OC lore involves a lot of thinking & planning, but in my personal experience, OC development is more like a divine vision from a god slamming you over the head with a mallet while ur doing the fuckin dishes or folding laundry

sorry helly r. I love when humans are married

Springtime is coming on April 11... See you soon, neighbor!

it's not the markhelly show!!!!! it's not the markgemma show either!!!!!!!!!! it's the "can you fundamentally grind an adult human being's consciousness down into nothing, cutting them off from their entire sense of self, thus turning them into an ideal blank slate ala 1800's euroamerican christian theories about children being pure souls without sin FOR the furthering of some fucked up capitalist cult's unknown goals" show !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You don't even need to study for the Rorschach test, btw, it's super easy. All they do is show you a bunch of stupid pictures of your dad getting eaten by a horse