Imagine Being Forced To Do All Of The Courting In Your Relationships. Now Imagine Having Gendered Expectations

Intestines can’t even digest anymore

because of woke

Why would you say this? Is this a game to you? Peridot is losing because she got put twice as an option and you turn it into a dick joke? Wow.

How has humanity, in its innovative and expanding desire for optimization, still not figured out a way to zest citrus fruits without wasting half of the delicate fibers or flavor within the micro plane/cheese grater.

Is it so selfish of me to simply want more that 70% of the zest which I zested to remain usable, and not stuck to metal implements like plaque? Am I truly in the wrong for desiring lemon, orange, lime, citron, grapefruit, and pomelo zest in ordinance with the law of conservation of matter? Or does the universe continually spite my efforts yet again.

Hostile Intestinal Disorder

i had a really fucked up dream omg

Oro: The best part of an oreo is the black cookie part, not the frosting. Deal with it.

Sheo: Darkness without light is an abyss. Light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side.

Oro: Yo Socrates, calm down. It’s a fucking cookie.

Ketamine + boypussy

I know that everyone keeps on writing “deny, defend, depose” as if that is the correct order but do we actually know?

What if we are all wrong and it is supposed to say “depose, deny, defend.”

the funniest and most tragic moment in steven universe is the scene that implies that Pearl pulls bitches like a professional dog walker but doesn't know how phones work so her place on earth is being a life-changing futch fling for every dyke on the east coast there's probably a gay bar in maryland where they talk about the twiggy bird chick that eats milf pussy like it's the last edible thing on earth and they dont even know about the city full of thousand year old neon lesbian amazons who are pent up 24/7 from The War and leaving room for jesus cause they're always hanging out with their softboy nephew who might be the second coming of christ