3am Manifestations

Some of you bitches need to get your own personality instead of copying mine it’s getting fucking annoying

Bc I feel like I’m bothering my friends I come to tumblr

So like my friends ex asked me to hoco and I was like making it a big deal by texting all of them bc I didn’t know what to do bc I wanted to say no but it’s my personality that I like can’t bc I’m scared. So like I didn’t and I felt bad so I told my friend and I could tell she’s over me talking about it and like I haven’t really gotten it off my chest of why I feel bad. But this is the first time anyone has shown interest in me and I don’t think he even liked me like that because he said he wanted to ask someone else bc he actually liked them but he decided to ask me bc he wasn’t going to have a chance with them. And like it hurts bc all my friends have had people have crushes on them or date people and I never had. That’s part of the reason I got an Ed. And like it just hurts that I’ve annoyed my friend bc I can’t stop freaking out bc I didn’t know what to do bc I’ve never been in that situation and it fucking sucks that I’m his like 20th choice bc he dated my friend and made abc of the girls he liked and forgot to put me in it and then he only asked me bc the other wasn’t going to say yes. I just feel horrible. I don’t even wanna do this bc I feel like I’m bothering people on tumblr but no ones going to read this long message and I just wanna disappear bc it sucks and I’m sorry.

Edit- I keep checking my phone bc I feel like someone’s gonna tell me it’s ok but like I know it isn’t gonna happen and like I’m sorry. I just I can’t think of anything but I’m sorry.

Come get this dick-fil-a

Guess what you dumb whores (I say that lovingly) I found even more to hate about myself low key didn’t trying it was possible but I looked in the fucking mirror and I’m never losing my virginity since so one should even have to see my body naked✌🏽🤗😚 👅

I honestly and truthfully hate myself.

My hair:

I’m black and I get perms and I really wanna go natural. Told my mom and she told me that if u were to go natural all I would do was get made fun of. My relaxed hair grows so fucking slow and turns nappy really quick so when I get sew-ins you can tell the difference and I already get made fun of for that plus my fave is already fat and the only thing that makes it look slightly better is my hair. Yikes

My body:

I’m fat. I have scars everywhere. My thighs look like drum sticks. I have hip dips and that plus the way I already look makes me go from a 1 to a -12. I have stretch marks literally make me look so fucking disgusting and I have so many that I know that none of them are going away even when I lose weight. SOMETHING SO SIMPLE AS MY FINGERS ARE EVEN A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT. my fingers couldn’t be fucking normal and straight and have of them if curved. My fucking nails are just annoying. My sister lifted my shirt and goes oh I thought ur stomach plugged out a lot more than that.

My skin:

My pores are fucking huge. Every time I shave you can see the pores in my leg from a mile away and it looks like a have a fucking disease, I have bad hygiene and I don’t take care of my skin and it’s fucking disgusting.

My face:

My acne is so bad. My hyperpigmentation has literally ruined any confidence I had left. My teeth are ducked up and the adults in my fucking house hold refuse to get me a dentist appointment.my nose literally is a pig nose which makes it SOOOOO much better bc I am a fucking pigs. My eyes are this dull dark brown. Not that beautiful hazel color that everyone loves it just plain and fucking boring.

There is nothing for anyone to love about me. There’s nothing for me to love about my self.

No, I’m not craving for pizza, pasta or cake.

I’m craving for the outfits that I’ll wear.

I’m craving for the days that nobody won’t be able to make fun of me, or ignore me.

I’m craving for being the skinniest, smartest girl in the room.

I’m craving for being the first option for guys.

I’m craving for not to smell like garbage when I’m sweating.

I’m craving for jealous looks and words.

I’m craving for not to feel like a worthless whale.

I’m craving for being capable to wear anything and still look cute.

I’m craving for not to wear tons of makeup to not feel shit, to go outside with bare face without any doubt.

I’m craving for to look at my old photos with anybody in the future and hear them saying ‘You are so pretty!’

I’m craving for being the center of attention.

I’m craving for to eat something and not see the pitying eyes.

I’m craving for not to go shopping without thinking like ‘Would this fit me?’

I’m craving for not to being the fat girl with an eating disorder.

I’m craving for not seeing the pity eyes when someone sees me drinking or eating something ‘diet’ or 'light’. (like diet coke or black coffee)

I’m craving for being an inspiration or others.

I’m craving for not to feel like a whore when I feel kinda horny.

I’m craving for the shocked eyes when people see me after a long time.

I’m craving for waking up, drinking my black coffee and feel like a fairy.

I’m craving for not to feel like a disco ball when I’m dancing.

I’m craving for looking good in anything I do.

I’m craving for being fully energetic without all that unnecessary ugly fat.

I’m craving for to not feeling guilty for existing.

I’m craving for being full of confident when I’m walking down the streets.

I’m craving for being a real life thinspiration.

I’m craving for hearing these words 'Wow, you got so skinny!’

As you see, I’m craving for my own freedom.

Feel free to add..

Skinny girl food/drink

Foods:

Salad (no dressing) (30kcal)

Broccoli (around 35kcal/100g)

Cauliflower (25kcal/100g)

Tomatoes (22kcal/avarage tomatoe)

Zucchini (16kcal/100g)

Strawberries (4 kcal each)

Berries (33 kcal/100g)

Carrots (44kcal/100g)

White rice (134kcal/100g)

Grapes (69kcal/100g)

Sweet pepper (20kcal/100g)

Sweet corn (84kcal/100g)

Apple (72kcal/ avarage apple)

Drinks:

Water and tea. Helps losing weight and makes you feel full.

Stay safe🖤

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Friendly reminder that this blog is pro-choice and if you don’t think a woman should have full control of her own body, then kindly unfollow me right now and go to hell