😫😫😫

“Louder.”

😀 SIR I WILL SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS—

𝚁𝚎𝚏𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚜

𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚢.

𝙷𝚎 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑.

─────────────────

𝙿𝚊𝚒𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝚂𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎𝚛 𝚁𝚎𝚒𝚍 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝚁𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐: 𝙴𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚝 (𝟷𝟾+)

𝚆𝚘𝚛𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚝: ~𝟸,𝟽00

𝙲𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚐𝚘𝚛𝚢: 𝚂𝚖𝚞𝚝 | 𝚃𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 | 𝙼𝚒𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛 𝙿𝚕𝚊𝚢

𝚂𝚞𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚢:

𝙷𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚞𝚙 𝚋𝚎𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚗𝚞𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜—𝚠𝚑𝚒𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚜𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚙𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎. 𝙸𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛, 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚛𝚘𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚟𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚜, 𝚞𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚕 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚛

─────────────────

Spencer was pacing.

Not the nervous kind of pacing—more like slow, calculated orbiting.

He’d been watching you get ready for the last seven minutes and forty-two seconds. You hadn’t noticed at first. You were too busy standing in front of your vanity, applying earrings, smoothing down the satin of your dress.

But now you were definitely aware.

Because every time he passed behind you, his eyes lingered a little longer. His fingertips flexed. His lips parted like he was holding back a hypothesis he wasn’t ready to test aloud.

The dress was red. Of course it was red.

You reached up to adjust your earring, and that’s when he stopped. Right behind you. Close enough to feel.

“You know,” he said quietly, “in over sixty-five percent of controlled visual studies, men identified red as the most arousing color a woman could wear.”

You didn’t turn. Just met his gaze in the mirror.

Spencer licked his lips, hands twitching at his sides. “Something about the neurological association with warmth, intensity, fertility… They don’t always know why they respond. But they do. Viscerally.”

You arched a brow. “Is that what you’re doing? Responding viscerally?”

He stepped closer—just one pace—and placed his palms lightly at your hips.

“No,” he murmured. “What I’m doing is falling apart.”

You laughed softly, adjusting the other earring. “Over a dress?”

“Not just the dress,” he said, voice dropping a full octave. “The neckline. The hemline. The color. The shape. The way you’re… not even trying to look at me right now, and it’s still driving me out of my mind.”

You glanced at his reflection. “I’m pretty sure you’ve memorized all of me.”

“I have,” he breathed. “But you keep redefining the data.”

He leaned in slowly, his nose brushing the side of your neck.

“Want to know what else I read today?” he asked against your skin.

You didn’t answer.

“Eighty-seven percent of women,” he continued, “report fantasizing about being touched like this.”

One hand slid from your hip up your stomach. He didn’t grope. He traced. Like mapping sacred geometry.

“Standing in front of a mirror,” he whispered, “watching a partner look at them like they’re art.”

His other hand followed, now brushing just under the curve of your breasts. “Told they’re perfect. Worshipped. Known.”

You exhaled shakily. His eyes flicked to your reflection—every microreaction cataloged, filed.

“Is that what you want?” he whispered.

Your body gave you away. It arched. Your thighs pressed together.

Spencer inhaled sharply. “Thought so.”

He brought both hands higher, fingertips ghosting over your chest as his lips hovered just beside your jaw.

“Say it,” he said gently.

You blinked. “Say what?”

He met your gaze in the mirror. “Say you’re my pretty girl.”

You swallowed, cheeks flushing.

“Spence—”

“Say it,” he murmured, thumb brushing the underside of your breast. “Please.”

Your lips parted. The words were hesitant, but not shy.

“I’m… your pretty girl.”

He let out a shaky breath like it hurt to hold it in. “Yes. You are.”

His right hand slid lower, past your navel, until it was between your thighs—touching lightly, still through fabric. He didn’t move. Just cupped. Pressed.

You jolted slightly at the contact, gasping as he whispered directly into your ear.

“Say you’re the only thing I think about when I’m alone.”

You choked on a breath.

“Spe—”

“I do. Constantly. In hotel rooms. In elevators. On planes. Every quiet moment, it’s you.”

His fingers moved slightly, circling now. Pressure light. Intention razor-sharp.

“Say it.”

Your eyes fluttered. “I… I’m the only thing you think about.”

He smiled. “Good girl.”

Your hips bucked into his hand.

“I want you to look at yourself,” he said softly. “See what I see.”

You tried, gaze wavering.

“I said look.”

Your eyes returned to the mirror.

“There,” he whispered. “That’s my girl. That’s my pretty, dangerous girl who knows exactly what she’s doing when she wears red.”

You whimpered. He smiled.

And then he touched you for real.

His fingers slipped under your panties, and you cried out softly—but his hand over your chest, and the way he held your gaze, kept you grounded.

“Shhh,” he soothed. “It’s just me. Just my hands. Just this body I’d do anything for.”

You moaned softly as his fingers circled your clit. He moved slow. Measured. Intentional.

“Tell me,” he whispered, “how many other men could touch you like this and get this response?”

Your mouth opened. No sound.

“None,” he answered for you. “Because your body already knows who you belong to.”

He kissed your neck again, sucking lightly below your ear.

“You’re mine,” he whispered. “Say it.”

You moaned, back arching into him.

“I’m yours,” you breathed.

And God—he grinned.

“Again.”

“I’m yours, Spencer.”

His fingers moved faster. “Louder.”

“I’m yours,” you gasped.

“Yes,” he groaned. “And I’m yours.”

His hand didn’t stop until your legs trembled and your breathing hitched, your head falling back against his chest.

He kissed your temple. Whispered your name like prayer.

Then, slowly, he pulled away. Smoothed your dress. Fixed your hair.

“Now we can go to dinner,” he said softly, smirking.

You turned and stared at him. “You’re insufferable.”

He grinned. “Statistically? Probably.”

“But also? You love it.”

the way i’d be flustered around this man-

heatstroke

shy!reader is flustered around spencer. he mistakes it for a heatstroke.

pairing: spencer reid x shy!reader warnings: fem!reader, post prison reid, spencer being oblivious, fluffy fluff prompt: here wc: 0.7k

Your heart is hammering so hard you’re half-convinced it’s about to burst straight out of your chest, grow legs, and scuttle off into the nearest storm drain. And now, standing so close you can map every anxious burst of breath ghosting hot across your cheek, Spencer is mumbling something rapid-fire about heatstroke of all things.

“It’s eighty-five degrees out, you know. Do you feel dizzy? Disoriented?” he asks, forehead crinkling adorably — no, anxiously — in sincere concern.

You’d answer, really, but all that escapes is an embarrassingly squeaky semblance of language. Because Spencer Reid, who is the intellectual equivalent of chugging an ice-cold slushie way too fast on your best days, is currently ushering you toward a shaded lounge chair, fingertips pressing cautiously into your side as if the slightest pressure might crumble you into dust. 

Which, honestly, that's not far off.

“You really don’t look good,” Spencer says, lowering himself into a squat directly in front of you. 

You want to protest, or at least pretend to be mildly insulted, but your lips part uselessly, mouth suddenly dry. 

This close, Spencer is a potent distraction — big, worried eyes, dark lashes clinging wetly together, a single bead of water tracing the strong line of his jaw before disappearing beneath the edge of his collarbone. 

Your vision is swimming, and it definitely has nothing to do with the diagnosis he’s busy concocting.

How did this even happen? One minute, you were innocently (fine, not so innocently) ogling Spencer as he laughed in the pool, sunlit water streaming over smooth skin and muscles you absolutely did not know existed beneath all those layers he normally hides behind. 

The next, your knees had given out, quickly followed by your dignity.

Completely understandable, really, given the visual stimulus. And clearly, it was symptomatic enough to convince him of a medical emergency. 

Now he’s fussing over you like a patient, touching you gently, speaking softly, and effectively making your current Spencer-induced predicament exponentially worse. 

“I’m fine,” you manage to croak, forcing your lips into a shaky approximation of a smile, hoping you look convincing and not completely deranged. “Just, um — hot. It’s hot. You’re hot — I mean, it’s… the weather. The weather’s hot.”

Amazing. Truly eloquent. You doubt a toddler would fall for such an amateurish charade, let alone Spencer.

His head cocks to the side in the confusion, and now you’re stuck looking at lips that seem entirely too kissable for your current mental state. 

Spencer blinks slowly at you and somehow, inexplicably, moves even closer, fingers brushing against your forehead.

“Your skin is really warm,” he says, almost to himself, his palm shifting to cup your cheek. 

A barely contained shiver ripples through your body, originating exactly where Spencer’s hand rests and working its way down your spine, turning you into a shaky disaster in seconds flat. Which, of course, is incredibly helpful, given that he currently believes you’re overheating.

Tremors in blazing sun. Makes sense.

“Can you try taking a deep breath for me?” he urges, thumb sliding smoothly across your cheekbone, and suddenly you’re wondering if this is how cats feel when someone scratches exactly the right spot behind their ears.

You drag in a tight, somewhat strangled breath, probably miles from the smooth, relaxing inhale Spencer intended. But considering there was only a microscopic gap separating your faces, successfully intaking any oxygen feels nothing short of a miracle. 

Spencer, clearly agrees, because his face breaks into an immediate, heart-stopping smile.

“Good,” he whispers. “There you go.”

You briefly wonder if praise-induced death is a thing, because Spencer’s clearly testing the theory.

When his hand finally withdraws, leaving your cheek strangely cool, you’re amazed at how quickly your body rights itself, as though your lungs had just been waiting politely for him to stop wreaking havoc on your nervous system. 

"Stay here, I'll grab you some water," he says softly, already halfway turned toward the house before pausing, reconsidering. "Or, actually — do you wanna come inside? Air conditioning might help."

"Oh — no," you blurt quickly, nervously adjusting your bathing suit strap for what feels like the millionth time. "I'm fine out here, really. The fresh air is good."

Fresh air, you think, nodding to yourself like a total idiot. Yes, fresh air is good. Fresh air means witnesses, and witnesses mean accountability. People who can vouch that your complete breakdown is purely situational and definitely not a daily occurrence.

He hesitates, obviously conflicted, before exhaling with a sigh of surrender. "Okay, but I'm setting up a fan. It'll make us both feel better."

You manage a nod. "Fan sounds good."

The second Spencer’s safely indoors, Rossi lowers his sunglasses just enough to shoot you an amused glance.

“Kid might be a genius, but when it comes to anything social —  especially romantic — he’s about as perceptive as a brick,” he says breezily. “Lucky for you, huh?”

Laughter washes around you, and all you can do is tug your hat down over your burning face as if that might make you invisible. When no helpful sinkhole opens up beneath you, you sneak a glance toward the house.

One day, Spencer’s bound to figure it out. You wonder briefly if you’ll survive it… but you’re dangerously tempted to find out.

join me at the beach for my 1 year/4k event!

day 1 extras

💌 click here to check in → confirm your room (and crush)

maria's spring break getaway masterlist

ok it’s not funny anymore where are my pants guys 🧍‍♀️

could u pls write a fic/blurb of virgin spencer having fantasies of being dominant 🩷 btw live ur work!!!

my first orgasm goes to you! ♡

cw; +18 content, minors dni!!, watching of p0rn, bondage, dom and sub dynamics, spencer’s livid mind, imagining of spanking, male masturbation (spencer), dirty talking (he talks to himself while he thinks of you)…

okay… so spencer doesn’t know how he’s gotten into this situation.

he’s not one to… indulge in this kind of activities.

intelligence is correlated with sexual desire. most evidence indicates a negative correlation between intelligence and sexual activity. researchers find that higher intelligence is associated with a delay in the initiation of a wide range of partnered sexual activities, from holding hands to sexual intercourse —that’s why he was still a virgin— . statistically though, scientists have discovered that, the higher the sex drive of the individual.

but spencer could probably count the times he has masturbated in his 25 years of life with one hand. he just… didn’t get the need.

well, that was a lie. there was obviously a need. a physical one. he, like any other man, woke up with morning wood every morning. but there wasn’t a… psychological one. he had never… fallen in love. sure. he could find beauty in a woman. even a man. but… he just didn’t…

couldn’t finish.

he had tried. made research. tried again…

and when he couldn’t make it. he would gave up.

spencer reid has never had an orgasm.

until today.

after trying pretty much everything. he tried the thing he wished he’d never have to use: porn.

just a few clicks and he was into one of the million of pages for it. and there was a lot of… content. a lot of options in which you could choose from.

but one video caught his attention. it was about dom/sub dynamics, and a little bit of bondage. he had informed himself about them, and curiosity won as he clicked on it.

his eyes widened when the view of a beautiful —and completely naked— woman caught his eyes. her wrists were tied to the posts of the bed in which she was laying, cries and mewls leaving her lips along with some ‘stop’s and ‘it’s too much!’s. in between her thighs, a man of his complexion —although spencer was more skinny, lean, but skinny—, laid, devouring her cunt as if he were starved, arms keeping her pinned, still, as the woman tried to scape from the pleasure and overstimulation, hips jerking against the man’s face, thighs shaking, tears streaking down her face.

but what really did it for spencer was not the sight, it was the fact that the woman looked like you. same hair and eye color, same complexion, same full lips… if he took off his glasses he could…

no. that was wrong.

you were his coworker.

it didn’t matter if he’s had the biggest crush on you since you had joined the team a year ago, or that he was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with everything that made you… you.

he had never fantasized about you. well, he had. how couldn’t he, you were beautiful, and smart, and kind, and… and he couldn’t control his subconscious mind while being asleep or what he would dream of. so of course he had had wet dreams about you.

but he had never touched himself with you in mind. he believed that you didn’t deserve to be objectified like that.

so he wouldn’t.

he tried and focus on the video. on the moans, on the groans and touches. and it worked. he was hard. he teased himself over his slacks, slowly, a breath leaving his lungs before pulling down the zipper and pulling down his pants and underwear, releasing his semi and taking it in his hand with a sigh.

he focused on the video, cheeks reddening at the embarrassment he felt for be doing this. but he had to try.

slowly, he started to jerk his cock, long drawn out faps from the tip to the root. he moaned as he played with the sensitive and weeping slit on the head, before continuing.

but after minutes and minutes of trying, his high wouldn’t come. he groaned and stopped. of course it wouldn’t come.

a flash of you passed through his mind and thoughts of you in the position of the woman in the screen, with him being in between your thighs, making you feel good, making you feel so good you couldn’t take it. but he would make you take it.

his cock twitched, and he groaned as he started moving his hand right back up. he was just so desperate to cum. it hurt. and he just couldn’t not think about you. he did all the time. also. you wouldn’t know right? it would just be this one time.

he took off his glasses, and went back to the video, where now the man was pushing up and in between his thighs, pulling a scream from the woman when he thrusted inside her, fast and hard.

spencer’s pupils were blown, his breathing ragged. it’s as if he could see you, see him. fucking you just like that man was fucking the woman. pounding into her swollen, overstimulated and squelching cunt over and over again, pulling his legs up against her chest in a mating press, reaching so deep he was on her cervix.

‘i can’t please. i can’t! it’s too much!’

spencer whimpered, going faster, hearing the woman cry. would you cry too? would you beg him to stop? would you beg him for more? how would you sound moaning his name? screaming it?

“fuck.”

please spencer, i can’t take it anymore, it’s too much!!!

he could almost hear it. your sweet voice lost in pleasure. could feel your plush soft skin under his fingertips as he’ll spank your thigh, taste the salt on your skin as he’d suck on your neck and chest.

“take it. fucking take it. you know you want it. you know you want this cock.”

he got lost in the moment, pretending with his eyes closed that the moans of the woman were your moans, moving his hand at the punishing ruthless rhythm the man fucked her.

jesus, this felt good…

more spencer, give me more!

“you want more?”

yes, please, please spencer, fuck me more, fuck me harder!

“holy fuck. yeah, i’ll fuck you harder.” his fist moved faster up and down his cock, slicked in his precum. “i’ll fuck you so hard you’ll have a hard time walking for days.” he tightened his hold. “fuuuuuck.” he moaned your name. “you’re so tight. so perfect for me. taking it so well… you were made for this. for taking my cock, hm?”

yes, yes, only for you spencer… i want you to cum inside. please cum inside. breed me, spence.

he groaned, his eyes rolling, a new unknown tight feeling growing in his lower stomach, his dick leaking and twitching like crazy.

“you want me to cum inside? inside this pretty little cunt? want me to breed you? leave you full and dripping?”

he could picture you, nodding, babbling, pleading.

“then take it. take my fucking cum. gonna fuck it so deep… right into your womb. fuck. take it take it take it!”

and with a last moan, his world was breaking up, vision whitening, whole body spasming as thick heavy loads of creamy white cum shot out of his cock, making a mess out of his wooly vest and hand. he was moaning, groaning and gasping, continuing to move his hand through his high, until nothing else was coming out. the video had ended long ago.

he looked up at his blurry ceiling. and groaned.

fuck.

he had just had his ever first orgasm.

and the reason had been you.

@cafekitsune ‘s separators!

@kittyisick ty for your support angel, hope you like it!💋

SOMEONE ASKED ME SOMETHING AND IT GOT DELETED

💳💥💳💥💳💥

The Taste of Her.

She’s weaponized sweetness.

And I am entirely at its mercy.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Rating: (18+)

Word Count: ~6.3k

Category: Smut | Public Tension | Soft Dom!Spencer

Summary:

A single bite undoes him.

You taste like fruit and heat and something he was never meant to touch.

She’s flushed before we even finish the first aisle of the farmers market. Not in the embarrassed way, not in a way she’s trying to hide. Just… sun-warmed. Pink with heat and cotton sticking to her skin. The air is heavy, and her dress isn’t doing her any favors—thin, pale, clinging. It moves like a second layer of breath. Straps falling off her shoulder, one at a time. Her skin’s glowing. Damp. Her hair curls slightly at the ends from humidity, and the curve of her chest glistens in the sun where a drop of sweat has pooled and caught the light. She doesn’t wipe it away. She doesn’t even notice.

But I do.

I notice everything. I always do.

She walks a few steps ahead of me, humming to herself, the sound low and tuneless, some soft rhythm she always slips into when relaxed. She stops at a table of peaches and starts testing them one by one, her thumb brushing against the skin like she’s feeling for a pulse. Her hands are always soft when she touches things. Like she doesn’t realize she’s allowed to grip.

She picks one up and turns to me with a smile, cradling it in both palms. “This one’s gorgeous.”

I step beside her before anyone else can. Close. Not touching, but near enough that my presence is felt. I glance at the fruit in her hands. A subtle mark along the seam is barely visible, but it’s been handled. Someone gripped it too tight.

“It’s too soft,” I murmur.

She frowns. “It feels perfect.”

“There’s bruising.” I nod toward the top. “See the indent? Someone else already tried to make it theirs.”

Her mouth parts just slightly. Her fingers loosen around the fruit. I take it from her gently and hand her another, firmer, smoother, untouched.

She holds my eyes when she takes it. She smiles like I’ve just done something unusually kind. Then she takes a bite.

And moans.

It’s soft. Almost accidental. But it knocks the breath out of me. She pulls back with wide eyes, laughing under her breath, wiping at her chin with her wrist. Juice slides down her hand, curling toward her elbow. She tries to catch it with her tongue, then presses the fruit against her chest for balance while dabbing at her mouth. The juice smears down the slope of her breasts, right into the cotton, and she doesn’t even realize what she’s doing.

Or maybe now she does.

She laughs, tilting her head, licking her finger in slow, thoughtful circles. “Oh my god, it’s so good. I wasn’t ready.”

No one is. Certainly not the vendor, who’s paused what he’s doing to stare. Indeed, not the man next to us, who doesn’t even pretend not to look. I can feel something sharp uncoil behind my ribs.

She turns to me, still breathless, holding the fruit toward me. “Here. You want the rest?”

I take it.

Her fingers brush mine.

I sink my teeth into the bite she left behind and let the juice coat my tongue. Sweet. Ripe. Still warm from her lips. Still soft where her mouth pressed into the flesh. I can smell her on it—on my hand, in the air. My pulse is low and heavy.

I’m picturing her already. In my lap. In the car. Flushed from the heat, dress pushed up around her hips, thighs sticky and trembling as she rocks down onto me. Her voice soft and desperate as she whines my name, her breath catching as I lick the juice off her chest—slow and reverent, my hands cupping her ass, keeping her steady as she moves. Her hair sticking to her temples. Her fingers knotting in my shirt. The windows fogging while she lets me ruin her for anything else.

Instead, I offer her a napkin. My voice stays steady. “You’re always like this.”

She blinks. “Like what?”

“Sweet,” I say. “Unaware.” I glance down at her chest. “Messy.”

She looks down, gasps, and laughs again. “God, I didn’t even notice.”

“I know.”

She bites her lip. Then she hands me the pit like it means nothing. “Here. You keep everything I touch, anyway.”

I slide it into my pocket without a word.

We don’t talk again until we’re in the car.

The second the door shuts, the silence swells. Not comfortable. Not neutral. It’s thick with want. With frustration. With restraint tearing at the seams.

She shifts beside me—thighs pressed together, her dress clinging to her damp skin, her lip caught between her teeth. My knuckles go white on the steering wheel.

I shouldn’t be looking.

Not again.

Not when I’ve already looked too long — back at the market, at the way the sunlight kissed her skin, at the way the juice ran down her wrist and into the hollow between her breasts.

Not when I can still taste it.

The fabric of her dress drags against her thighs, sticking to the heat. My hands tighten on the steering wheel. I count to five. Then ten.

Don’t look.

“Are you okay?” she asks, voice soft. Innocent.

I nearly laughed. I’m anything but okay.

“You keep moving,” I murmur, unable to keep the edge from my voice.

She blinks at me like she doesn’t know what she’s doing — but she does. She has to. The way she sits and her legs part just slightly before she adjusts them again — she’s weaponized sweetness. And I am entirely at its mercy.

“I’m warm,” she says. “Sticky. From the heat.”

Sticky.

Jesus.

I don’t answer. I can’t.

She stretches then, arms over her head, the movement lifting her breasts and tugging the neckline of her dress down another sinful inch. One strap falls. Then the other.

My jaw locks.

“Sweetheart,” I warn. It comes out harsher than I mean it to.

She tilts her head. “I’m not doing anything.”

You’re doing everything.

You’re pink-cheeked and flushed, your thighs stick to the seat, and you let that dress ride up like it means nothing. But it means everything to me.

“You’ve been so fucking messy today,” I whisper.

Her eyebrows lift. That soft, puzzled look. “Me?”

“Yes, you. You moaned when you bit into that peach and licked juice off your fingers like it was instinct. You let it drip down your chest and didn’t wipe it. You’ve been walking around like a wet dream and pretending you don’t notice what it does to me.”

She blinks slowly. Like I’ve spoken a language she understands but wasn’t expecting to hear aloud.

“I didn’t mean to,” she whispers.

I groan under my breath. “That’s what ruins me.”

She shifts again. I hear the slick sound of her thighs moving, the faint hitch in her breath. My pulse kicks hard in my throat.

“It aches,” she says, voice quiet. “I didn’t know it could. Not like this.”

No.

Not now.

Not here.

“Please,” I say, already feeling the panic rise. “Don’t touch yourself. I can’t pull over.”

She doesn’t answer. But I hear the rustle of her dress. The wet sound of her fingers sliding between her legs. My body reacts like it’s mine in name only — hips shifting, cock twitching hard in my pants.

“Sweetheart,” I beg, my voice broken. “I’m trying to be good.”

I glance at her, just for a second. Her lips are parted. Her cheeks are flushed. She looks soft, dazed, like a dream folding in on itself.

“I just want to know how wet I am,” she says, and the sentence nearly kills me.

“Don’t say things like that.”

“But I thought you wanted to know.”

She lifts her fingers. They glisten in the low light. Her smile is soft. Innocent.

“Didn’t I let you watch me lick peach juice off my hand?” she says. “It’s your turn.”

I groan, ruined.

I reach for her wrist, slow, like it’s fragile. And when I pull her hand to my mouth, I don’t just taste her.

I savor.

My lips wrap around her fingers—my tongue slides between them. I moan around them before I can stop it. She watches me, eyes wide, lips parted, as if she didn’t expect me to take it this far.

But she tastes like everything I’ve ever denied myself.

When I pull back, my voice is shaking.

“You taste like sin.”

She doesn’t say a word. Just lowers her hand back to her lap. I hear it again — that wet sound as her fingers slip between her folds.

I nearly cry.

“Please,” I whisper. “Be my good girl. You can’t do this here.”

“But you like hearing it,” she says, her voice light, teasing. “You like knowing how wet I am for you.”

“I like knowing you’re mine,” I say, “and hating that anyone driving by could see you like this.”

She moans softly.

“Spencer…”

“Don’t,” I beg. “Don’t say my name like that. You’ll make me come untouched.”

Her breath catches. Her thighs twitch.

“I’m gonna—,” she whispers. “You want to hear?”

God, help me.

“Yes,” I say.

And she does — whimpering, gasping, her head tipping back against the seat as her fingers work her through it.

I drive. Shaking. Destroyed. Silent.

Because I can’t touch her.

Because I can’t stop.

Because when we get home…

A Sunflower in the Graveyard

Post Prison!Spencer Reid x Sunshine!Reader

Synopsis: You’re the new kid on the block— joining the BAU during Spencer’s prison sentence and since then, he’s ignored you despite your efforts in trying to start a mere friendship with him. But when all hope seems lost, Spencer seems to show his soft spot for you when a case really gets to you.

Category: Angst/Fluff

Warnings: mentions of an abduction case, mentions of violence & SA, mentions of child murder, please tread lightly! reader taking case to heart, reader breaking down/crying, spencer lowkey being cold towards reader but opens up a bit, reader & spencer being lowkey simps for each other, spencer relating to willy wonka lmao, mentions of the prison arc and spoilers for 12x21 ‘Green Light’ and 12x22 ‘Red Light’

Author’s Note: hey lovelies, so i’m supposed to be taking a break from writing but this one came out of my ass and boom this was the result- i’m really proud of it so i hope you enjoy!

A fourteen year old girl by the name of Alyssa Carter was abducted. And the stakes were high since the BAU team knew that the first 24 hours were very crucial when it came to child abduction cases.

It’d been your first child abduction case since you joined the BAU, which hadn’t been too long. But you couldn’t lie and say this didn’t affect you. Cases regarding children were the worst for you, if you were being honest.

It could’ve been the fact that children were helpless, fragile, unable to defend themselves like adults could. How could anybody treat a child in such a cruel way? This was the reason you wanted a job like this anyhow, right? You wanted to stop bad guys from hurting people. And so here you were. After pining for this job for years, you finally got it at the expense of another agent being wrongfully accused of a crime he didn’t commit.

You’d arrived in Manhattan, where you’d been searching for a preferential child molester who’d already struck twice before by leaving the bodies of the children he’d killed and buried them near a lake stream.

Alyssa Carter’s parents were in hysterics when you got to the PD, since Emily had wanted someone with a lighter touch to speak with them. You’d been good with the families of victims, always talking to them with understanding and even shedding a few tears with them because of how empathetic you’d been with them.

You’d hit the 24 hour mark and the likeliness of Alyssa Carter still being alive was unlikely. It would only be a matter of time before you hit a wall in the case. But you kept the work up, not even wanting to rest until you catch the son of a bitch. You’d been hopped on four hours of sleep and coffee when you’d found it.

The connection with all the crime scenes — a motel six in the smack dab middle of the hunting area. And with the help of Garcia, you were able to find the motel so Emily had joined you, Luke, Matt, Spencer and JJ down there.

You’d questioned the motel employee to see if there had been any suspicious characters or any sign of a young girl matching Alyssa Carter’s features and the motel employee didn’t hesitate to give you the information of a visitor that frequented the motel often.

The name Greg Taylor would probably haunt you forever as Spencer gave the name to Garcia and she’d informed you with a disgusted tone of what Greg Taylor was fully capable of and the horrible things he’d been arrested for prior to this.

You’d found the room and Spencer banged on the door and announced that the FBI wanted to speak with Greg Taylor. It was over two minutes when the door finally opened and the man, who you presumed was Greg Taylor — stood there, skinny and lengthy, tattoos covering his body, only wearing boxers and he’d looked like a deer in headlights.

Spencer had told the man to sit down, that all they wanted to do was talk with him — when you’d heard it. A faint whimper in the bathroom. You’d decided to check the room as Spencer told the man to sit down when he tried to stop you from opening the door.

When you opened the door, you found Alyssa Carter, only in a top and shorts with tear-stained cheeks and pleading for help. You quickly assured to her everything was going to be okay and that she was safe now, quickly calling JJ on your mic and notifying her that you’d found Alyssa.

Once JJ came to retrieve Alyssa, Greg tried to lie his way out of this but you weren’t letting him off easy. Soon as he stood up, you were quick to grab him and turn him around, aggressively pushing him against the wall, telling him just what a piece of scum he was.

Spencer stood there, he’d never seen you get this worked up before over a victim. You were usually the calm and collected one but he knew you were also hopped up on four hours of sleep and coffee, despite how many times Rossi had to tell you to get some rest but you’d refused to listen.

You dug your elbow into the back of Greg Taylor’s neck, like how he manage to subdue his victims. “How does this feel, huh? Do you feel powerless? Do you feel afraid? Well so did Janet MacGee, Ellie Oswald and Alyssa Carter. But we got you, you son of a bitch.” It got to a point where Luke walked in and basically had to pry you off of Greg Taylor. “Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! L/n, just back up. Come on. It’s not worth it.”

You marched outside, refusing to be scolded like a child, despite knowing how wrong it was. You stood outside of the motel and squatted down on the gravel, taking a moment as you tried to control your angry breathing. You’d never felt this heated before, especially not about an unsub. But something about Greg Taylor made you furious. Made you want to stomp the bastard’s head into the ground.

As you calmed yourself down to the best of your ability, you registered the hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles and even the words — “Are you okay?” Even jolted you into the realization that you weren’t alone anymore. You turned with wide eyes to see Spencer comforting you and that’s a surprise in itself.

You see, you joined the team when he’d been rotting in prison — you essentially replaced him for the time being. He’d been dismissive towards you, cold even since he got out of prison. And you’d no idea why, you were nothing but warm and kind to him. So, you’d taken the liberty in just ignoring him to the best of your ability. If you were paired together, you minimized your conversations to the task at hand, not even making small talk at the coffee machine or when you happened to be sitting next to each other on the jet.

It didn’t help that you also thought he was attractive. It was already tough speaking to him as it is when you found him to be intimidating due to how handsome you thought he was. You’d tried a few times to speak with him but it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with you. So, you stopped trying. You knew when you weren’t wanted, no one needed to sugarcoat it.

But for him to come and ask if you were okay, of all people — you never expected for Spencer to do so.

“Are you okay?” Spencer repeated. It took you a second to realize you were just staring at him. You shake your head, probably from the whiplash you were experiencing with him asking you if you were okay. “Yeah, I guess.” You end up answering.

You look up as Luke takes Greg Taylor into the back of a police car. And you take a sharp breath. It’s okay. You got him. He’ll be locked up for life. You got him. “We got him.” Spencer’s voice turns into one of the mantras you’re saying to yourself internally.

And it’s sudden. You break down crying, nearly falling forward on the gravel and you would have face-planted if Spencer hadn’t been there to catch you. Your cries echoed in your ears as you felt Spencer’s arms tighten around you in comfort. For a moment, he went stiff— almost not knowing how to hold you or what to do and not wanting to mess it up— but the way you’d melted in his touch was enough to make him melt with you and hold you as you wept.

After you’d landed back home, Spencer kept an eye on you. And even offered to walk you home so you got to your destination safely. You didn’t say a word to him — maybe a meek ‘thanks’ but other than that, not a word. He didn’t say anything either and perhaps, he didn’t have anything to. So, you both relished in the silence, in his protective nature that he wouldn’t let anything happen to you while he was around.

Once you got to the door, you looked at him — wondering if maybe he’d leave soon after. He stayed standing right there and well, you didn’t want to send him off just yet, if you were being honest. You didn’t feel ready to.

“Y-You can come in,” You offered with a small shrug. “If you want.” Spencer nods at you and you unlock the door and open the door to your apartment.

You take off your coat, walking into the kitchen and placing it on the chair in front of the table. Spencer takes a look around your apartment, the scent of autumn hits him like a wave and he notices your knick-knacks around the apartment. The bookshelf intrigues him, quick to inspect it as he spots the classics such as To Kill A Mockingbird and 1984, suggesting you were a fan of English literature. He even takes notice of your VCR under your TV and the stacks of films next to the VCR— spotting tapes like The Princess Bride and Grease, also telling him that you’d liked classics and that you weren’t exactly living under a rock.

He knew that maybe he shouldn’t be profiling you the way he was doing now but everything about you was interesting. Which was why he was keeping as far away from you as he could. He was already breaking his own moral code by being here at your apartment, afraid to damage you with his ignorance.

Spencer looks over and finds you, trying to preoccupy yourself awkwardly, like you’re trying to casually deal with the fact that he’s in your apartment right now.

“I…” You quickly turn as Spencer finds his voice. “I can leave, if you want me to. I don’t have to stay.” You shake your head, dismissing the idea. “No, no, I want you to.” You find yourself admitting and Spencer bites his lip as he stares at you and you look like a deer in headlights at your eagerness. “I… I just…” You shut your eyes at the embarrassment of your next sentence. “I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

The words repeat in Spencer’s head. I just don’t want to be alone right now. And you chose him to accompany you in your time of need? Why him? He’s far too damaged for you. No good for you. But you didn’t even ask. He chose to be here. For you.

“But you can leave, if you want to.” You say, trying not to sound disappointed in your tone but Spencer can definitely tell you are, which is why he removes his brown satchel strap from around his neck and places his bag on the floor. “I won’t leave. You need somebody and… well, I can be that.” No matter how much he wants to run for the hills.

So, you opt for offering him a drink— which he declines and you ask if maybe he wants to watch something while he’s here. You decide to put on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (since you’d discovered he’d never seen it before and well, him being uncultured just won’t do) and change into some comfy clothes and relax while he’s here.

Spencer had never seen you in casual clothing before. In your baggy sweatpants and argyle wool sweater and white socks— you looked ethereal. He’d never seen you in such a domestic light before. His stomach churns at this, the fear of getting too close to you is strong. His Adam’s apple bobs as he moves closer towards the arm of the couch, maintaining as much distance as possible between you two.

You don’t seem to mind or pay attention to the distance, at least— more so paying more attention to the film you’re watching instead of him and Spencer sits there, trying to pay attention but he can’t — not while you’re sitting next to him, at least. He figures the longer he can stare at the screen, the more he’d be able to focus but he can’t. He really can’t seem to focus around you.

As Spencer watches the scene of Augustus Gloop getting stuck into the chocolate pool, he’s finally enthralled with the film — of course, it’s totally unrealistic because how does Willy Wonka manage to have a pool full of chocolate and why are the parents of these children that were chosen full entrusting into this strange man? But in a way, Spencer finds himself relating to the whimsical man in a sense.

“I don’t know why kids affect me a lot.” You find yourself speaking halfway through the movie and Spencer then turns to you. Catching as you’re deep into thought, like you’d been thinking for a while now and you were just now voicing it. “I don’t have any of my own, I don’t know any kids. It’s just…”

“They’re young,” Spencer finds your voice, adding to your segment. “Defenseless.” He’d remembered this conversation with Morgan before he’d left. When Little Hank was a mere baby in Savannah’s stomach and how Morgan started taking these cases regarding children to heart. Spencer wondered if that had a play into Morgan leaving and he knew it most likely did. And he told him the same thing he’s telling you now.

You shake your head, “You just don’t do that.” Your voice is quiet and soft, Spencer’s not sure he’s ever heard you this quiet. Usually, you’re loud and bubbly and happy-go-lucky. He’s never seen you this sad before. But he’s discovering now that he hates it.

“What matters now is that we caught him,” Spencer tells, looking into your eyes as he speaks carefully. “And that Alyssa Carter is home now with her family.”

“Not to mention a load of trauma.” You add with a small sniffle. “What she went through—” Spencer looks down. “That’s hard for anybody. But she’s gonna make it. And she’s alive. What matters is we did our jobs and Greg Taylor can’t hurt anyone else ever again.”

You bite your lip and you nod at that. Spencer was right. You did your job, you got your unsub, you saved Alyssa Carter. You’ve done everything right. And you need to stop beating yourself up over it.

After that, you and Spencer don’t talk again. And by the time the movie’s over, Spencer looks your way and finds you asleep on the other side of the couch. He smiles to himself, happy that you’re getting the rest like you deserved. He stands up, grabbing the remote and turning off the TV and looks over towards you.

You’re peaceful as you sleep and he’s not sure he’s ever seen anything more angelic in his life. Looking at the throw blanket on the couch, he grabs it and throws it over your body so you can sleep comfortably and he looks down at you a moment longer.

He’d pushed you away. He had to keep you at this distance because he was afraid of hurting you. Prison had broken him down beyond repair. After all the crap he had deal with Delgado, this whole catastrophe with Scratch, which ended up being Lindsey Vaughn and Cat Adams. Having to deal with inmates, threatening his identity and beating him up every chance they got.

And then he met you. And you were the complete opposite of what he was now. You’d extended your hand, you gave him a big grin and the whole ‘I’ve heard a lot about you’ schpeal when you’d first met. He thought you were beautiful, inside and out — that’s how Garcia described you at least when he’d found out about you on one of her visits to see him in prison.

But he’d simply waved with a tight smile and said it was nice to meet you and walked away. After that, you tried with him, trying to say and asked how his day went but he often dismissed— only dealing with the small talk. And he’d kept his distance, not wanting to hurt you but little did he know, his absence just hurt you more.

The day you walked into the office and decided to ignore him, grabbing your coffee next to him and going about your day without a word — sent a sharp pain in his heart. He supposed that things were better now that you ignored him, that he’d finally gotten what he wanted. But this wasn’t what he wanted at all. And he knew that deep down.

And when he saw you tonight, how angry you were, how you didn’t get any rest until the case was solved, he’d wanted to comfort you. He wanted to comfort you in a way he needed back then. And when he saw you squatting with your head in your hands, he found his opportunity and he refused to leave your side until he knew you were alright. And he’d stay for as long as you liked him to.

But he didn’t want to intrude while you slept, he’d had no idea how you felt about him staying the night — no matter how much he’d like to in entirely different circumstances— so he decided the safe bet was to leave. He didn’t want to leave with no goodbye, so he’d left you a note and left your apartment quietly.

When you woke up the next morning, you found the note on the table in front of you and smiled warmly as you read it.

Y/n,

I didn’t want to wake you, so I saw myself out. I hope a good night’s sleep is all you need to feel refreshed. Adults usually need seven to nine hours a night. Anyways, I‘ll see you at work.

-Spencer :)

Hmm… perhaps the Dr. Spencer Reid, the man that barely talked to you, that hardly looked your way, that you’d found attractive regardless of everything that was wrong with him… wasn’t so cold after all.

crying brb (why is he not real 😞)

all those dreams where you’re my wife

gif by @reidgif

inside your mind - the 1975

Spencer Reid x Fem Reader

summary: coming down from the highs of sex, Spencer and Reader talk about his brain and its thoughts.

genre: fluff & angst

word count: 2.1K

warnings: no use of y/n, proofread, this is an old piece of writing.

masterlist!

Panting softly, your breath mingled with his, your chest rising and falling in tandem with Spencer’s. Your body felt weightless, the afterglow of your shared passion wrapping around you like a warm blanket. Sweat clung to your skin, and the soft hum of his heartbeat echoed in your ear where your head rested against his shoulder. The intimacy of the moment felt sacred, a shared silence that spoke volumes without words.

Spencer was unusually quiet. Not that his silence was uncommon—he often retreated into his mind after moments like this, his thoughts working in overdrive as if the endorphins had unlocked new pathways in his brilliant brain. He’d once explained to you that post-coital clarity often helped him connect dots he’d never considered before. You’d always found it endearing, a quirk that made him uniquely Spencer.

But tonight, something was different. His quiet wasn’t contemplative—it felt heavier, like the weight of his thoughts pressed down on both of you. You couldn’t help but notice the way his fingers hesitated as they traced lazy circles on your back, the way his chest rose with a sigh that seemed to carry the weight of the world.

“What’s wrong, handsome?” you murmured softly, lifting your head just enough to meet his gaze. His chin, which had been resting lightly against the crown of your head, shifted as he tilted his face toward you. His eyes, usually warm and filled with an endless stream of curiosity, now held a flicker of something else—something guarded.

For a moment, he didn’t answer. He just looked at you, his brow furrowing ever so slightly as if he were weighing his words. You could see the gears turning in his mind, the way he struggled to reconcile his thoughts with the honesty that had always been the cornerstone of your relationship.

“Nothing, sweetheart,” he said finally, his voice soft but unconvincing.

It was a lie—a glaring, obvious lie. Spencer was many things: a genius, a profiler, a man who could recall entire books word for word. But a liar? Never. You knew him too well, knew the way his eyes darted away for just a fraction of a second when he was trying to mask the truth. He knew you knew, too, which made his attempt at deception almost endearing.

You propped yourself up on your elbow, your fingers brushing a stray lock of hair from his damp forehead. “Spence,” you said gently, your tone a mix of affection and concern. “You’re a lot of things, but a good liar isn’t one of them. Talk to me.”

His lips parted as if to protest, but the words caught in his throat. He sighed again, this one deeper, as though the act of holding everything inside was physically exhausting. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just… complicated.”

“Complicated doesn’t scare me,” you replied, leaning down to press a kiss to his temple.

He let out a breath, his gaze darting away for a moment before returning to yours. “It’s not that I don’t want to tell you,” he admitted, his voice quieter now, almost fragile. “It’s just… I don’t know how to explain it.”

You frowned, leaning closer. “Try me,” you said softly. “You don’t have to have it all figured out. Just tell me what you’re feeling.”

His hand moved softly, almost reverently, to the back of your head. His fingers threaded through your hair with a gentleness that sent shivers down your spine, pausing now and then as though he were mapping the curve of your skull. There was something purposeful in the way he touched you, something that felt more like exploration than comfort.

“I wish I could know you the way you know yourself,” he murmured, his voice low and thoughtful. His fingers continued their journey, tracing invisible patterns that only he could see. “I want to be able to have your brain all laid out in front of me, every thought, every memory, every piece of you.”

The weight of his words hung in the air, his voice soft but steady as he continued, almost to himself. “The back of your head is at the front of my mind.”

He fell silent for a moment, his brow furrowing slightly as if trying to untangle the thoughts swirling in his mind. His hand didn’t stop moving, the gentle rhythm of his touch grounding both of you in the quiet intimacy of the moment.

After a long pause, he spoke again, his voice tinged with hesitation. “Sometimes, when you’re asleep, I’ll just… watch you breathe.” His eyes flickered toward you, searching your face as though bracing for judgment, but his hand never faltered.

“I’ll watch the way your breathing slows, the way it evens out. It’s like… proof. Proof that you’re real, that you’re here with me. And then I start to wonder…” His voice trailed off, but the weight of his thoughts lingered in the air.

His fingers stilled briefly before resuming their gentle path, tracing the base of your skull as though it held the answers he was searching for. “I wonder what you’re dreaming about,” he continued, his voice softer now, almost fragile. “I wonder if you dream of me, or of the things you love, or the things you want in life. And I can’t help but think about how much I want to know every part of you. What makes you happy, what makes you sad, what you think about when no one’s watching.”

His other hand came to rest on your cheek, his thumb brushing lightly against your skin. His gaze was intense, those wide, earnest eyes searching yours for understanding. There was no shame in his vulnerability, only a raw, unfiltered need to be known and to know you in return.

“I don’t want to miss anything,” he admitted, his voice trembling slightly. “You’re the most important person in my life, and sometimes it terrifies me how much I feel for you. Like… like I’ll never be able to express it the way I want to.”

The silence stretched between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. His hand lingered on your cheek, the other still cradling the back of your head as though he could hold your thoughts in his palm.

He let out a soft, shaky breath, his forehead lowering until it rested against yours. “I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, the words almost too quiet to hear.

For a moment, he stayed like that, his eyes closed, his breathing syncing with yours. His hands stayed gentle, as though he were afraid of breaking the moment. And then he pulled you closer, his arms wrapping around you with a desperation that spoke of a love too big for words.

In the quiet that followed, his touch said everything he couldn’t, and you let it.

In the gentle quiet of the room, Spencer’s voice broke through like a fragile thread, hesitant yet determined. “I mainly watch you sleep because I’m terrified of my mind,” he admitted, his tone a mix of vulnerability and unease. He hesitated, his fingers nervously fidgeting with the edge of the blanket as if debating whether to pull the veil back on his inner torment.

His gaze dropped to the floor, his breath catching slightly as he continued. “When I sleep…” he started, the words trembling on the edge of his lips. “I dream that you’ve been taken. It’s always the same. I’m helpless, paralyzed—every step I take feels like wading through quicksand, and no matter how hard I try, I can’t reach you.”

His voice grew quieter, a raw edge creeping into it, but he forced himself to keep going. “By the time I finally get to you, it’s too late. You’re lying there…” His voice cracked, and he swallowed hard, as though the very memory of the dream clawed at his throat. “You’re lying on the ground in a pool of your own blood. And the only thing I can see, the thing that haunts me even after I wake up, is the ring on your finger.” The room seemed to close in on you, the silence heavy and suffocating. You didn’t know what to say, how to respond to such a confession. You’d never talked about marriage—not explicitly, at least—but there had always been an unspoken understanding between you two. You both wanted it, you both felt it in your bones, but life had never given you the time to explore that possibility.

But hearing Spencer speak of the ring, of the symbol of everything you meant to him, in such a terrifying, haunting context—it shook you. The dream wasn’t just about losing you; it was about him failing you. About the one thing that represented his commitment, his love for you, now twisted into something horrific, something he couldn’t escape.

Your mind raced, trying to process the weight of his words, the depth of his fear. You could see it now—the desperation in his eyes, the vulnerability in the way he held himself. Spencer was afraid. Afraid of losing you, fearful of not being able to protect you.

In that moment, the love between you felt both fragile and immense. You reached out to him, your hand finding his, the warmth of your touch grounding him in the storm of his emotions. You didn’t need to say anything—he already knew how much you cared. But still, you squeezed his hand, hoping to convey everything that words couldn’t.

Spencer finally looked up, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “It’s supposed to be a symbol of everything good, everything I’ve ever wanted to give you. But in that moment, it feels like a mockery—a cruel reminder that I couldn’t protect you. That I failed you.”

The room fell silent, his words lingering in the air like a fragile echo. He looked at you then, his gaze pleading for understanding, for some assurance that the horrors of his subconscious didn’t define him.

“Spencer Reid, you could never fail me, not ever. Don’t ever think that,” you said softly, your voice steady but full of the weight of everything you felt. Your hands found their way to his face, cupping his cheeks gently, guiding his gaze to meet yours. You could see the self-doubt in his eyes, the fear that had taken root there, and it made your heart ache.

He opened his mouth to protest, but you pressed your forehead against his, a silent plea for him to hear you, to understand. “You’ve given me so much in this life, Spencer,” you continued, your voice barely above a whisper, but every word carried the depth of your emotions. “So much that I never thought I deserved, but you showed me that I do. You showed me that I’m worthy of love, of happiness. That I’m worthy of you.”

You could feel the weight of your words sink in as Spencer’s breath caught, his eyes flickering with a mixture of disbelief and gratitude. It wasn’t just the love you had for him—it was everything he had done for you, everything he had helped you realize about yourself.

You gently pulled one of your hands away from his face, your fingers trembling slightly as you reached for his hand, placing it over your chest, just above your heart. “This…” you said, your voice catching in your throat as you pressed his hand against the steady rhythm of your heartbeat. “This is because of you. Every beat, every breath—it’s because of the love you’ve given me. You make me feel alive in a way I never thought was possible.”

Spencer’s eyes softened, his gaze dropping to where his hand rested against your chest. The quiet intensity of the moment wrapped around both of you, and you could feel the weight of everything he was carrying—the fear, the guilt, the love—and you wanted to lift it off him, even if only for a moment.

You leaned in slowly, your lips brushing against his forehead in a soft, lingering kiss, a silent promise that you were there, that you always would be. Then, pulling back just enough to look him in the eyes, you whispered, “Spencer, you don’t ever need to worry about failing me. You’re everything I’ve ever needed. And I’ll never let you forget that.”

Spencer’s eyes fluttered closed, and without thinking, he leaned in to kiss you, his lips gentle against yours, a kiss that spoke of gratitude and love, a kiss that grounded you both in the present moment. When he pulled back, you couldn’t help but smile, brushing your thumb lightly over his cheek.

“I love you,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. And before you could respond, you kissed him again, this time deeper, letting the weight of everything you had just shared hang in the air between you like a promise, unspoken but undeniable.

thank you for reading!

please like & reblog if you enjoyed!

masterlist!

taglist! @pleasantwitchgarden

Nice Car

S4! Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU Reader

Synopsis: You’d always had a crush on Dr. Spencer Reid but you’re sure he’s never had eyes on you. But he takes you home after a night out with the team and you’re definitely proven wrong about him not having eyes on you.

Category: Smut

Warnings: reader has a crush on spencer and vice versa, mentions of a family annihilator case, mutual pining, drinking, reader is described as “bigger than most girls” *lowkey projecting here again 😬*, the girls are wingwomen - in jj, garcia and emily we trust 🙏, reader is tipsy but sobers up before they even leave the bar, kissing, smut warnings: car sex, a lil vanilla, straddling, dry humping(?), praise kink, riding, unprotected sex, creampie. (that should cover it)

Author’s Note: hey lovelies! i was watching “yellowjackets” and got inspired oops 🫢 i hope y’all like this one hehe it’s a quick one but oh well :)

You wanted to wind down after a big case you and the team had in Cincinnati. It was a family annihilator, who’d been murdering families of five. Their children age ranges from as young as three to as old as fourteen. It wasn’t easy, dealing with cases such as these ones.

At the end of the case, Rossi offered to pay for drinks tonight at O’Keefe’s. Once Emily and JJ said they were in, you nodded in agreement to come along and secretly hoping Spencer would come along tonight. And luckily, with some persuasion from Garcia and Morgan — he reluctantly agreed, to your wish.

It was no secret that you had a huge crush on Spencer. Everyone knew, except Spencer. But then again, he was oblivious to pretty much anything that had to do with the opposite sex.

So, on that note, you decided to dress for the night. Correction, Garcia decided you should dress for the night. She’d been the one encouraging this little crush you had on Spencer.

Often times, you thought she was saying stuff like ‘Oh, pretty boy was totally staring at you today’ or ‘He totally has a thing for you’ just to feed into your delusions. You weren’t sure dressing up was going to do anything.

Especially, since you didn’t really believed you fit into the “hot category”. And what you meant by that was that weren’t built like a supermodel. You were bigger than most girls you knew. Boys at school never looked at you, only really looking at friends of yours and only befriending you because of those friends. There were a lot of things you didn’t like about yourself. Your shoulders were too broad, your thighs too big, your boobs — more flabby than boob. You were your own biggest critic and to be honest, you weren’t sure if there was anyone out there who would love you for you. So, you figured that you’d be content fulfilling a life of loneliness if you were to never experience the love you believed you deserved.

But nonetheless, you dressed up. You were also dressing up for yourself, dressing for Spencer would’ve been a plus. But if you were going to look good tonight, you were doing it on your own terms and not at the expense of a boy. Or a man, since Spencer was definitely all man.

Garcia had helped you with your outfit. You wore a mini-velvet black dress with a bunched waist that fit your body and curves right and topped the outfit off with a leather jacket and converse — sorry, but you’d rather be comfortable than wearing six-inch heels that will break your ankles after taking one step.

JJ offered to drive you, Emily and Garcia to the O’Keefe’s tonight and you’d taken it with the intention of getting wasted and not wanting to drive back to your place while intoxicated.

The four of you met up with the men. Spencer had shown up, driving Morgan and Rossi and Hotch had hitched a ride with each other and Morgan whistled once he saw you. “Sheesh, Mama, you look hot.” He commented and your cheeks flush at the compliment. “Oh, this was just a little something I had in my closet but thank you, Morgan.”

Spencer had coughed a bit and Hotch pats his back to soothe him. “You okay, Reid?” He asks. Spencer nods, “Oh, yeah, wrong—” He clears his throat. “Wrong pipe.” He definitely wasn’t going to admit that he was staring at you in the dress and it made him choke on his water.

“Pretty boy’s just choked up because pretty girl here showed up in a little sexy dress, huh?” Morgan chuckles and you look down sheepishly, even pulling the ends of your dress down a bit.

You seated yourself next to Spencer and Emily for the night, drinking shot after shot with your colleagues, swapping stories and having a few laughs. You found yourself scooting impossibly closer to Spencer, even resting your head on his shoulders a couple of times as you talked about him endearingly to your other colleagues. You’d had about six shots before switching over to water to sober up a bit.

Eventually, you, Emily, JJ and Garcia had all gone to the bathroom, where the four of you did your own gossiping. “Oh, my God. Y/n, have you noticed how Spencer hasn’t taken his eyes off of you all night?” Garcia asked as you checked your reflection in the mirror.

“Oh, stop.” You retort, washing your hands. “No, Penelope is totally right. He’s been staring at you since we got here.” JJ confirmed and Emily adds on, “And he definitely checked out your ass when we were coming here.”

You shake your head, “You guys are insane.” JJ raises her brows with a suggestion, “Hey, how about he gives you ride home tonight?” Penelope gasps and chimes in, “Yes, yes, yes! It’d be a perfect opportunity for you two to be alone together!” Emily then nods along with this plan, “Yeah and then we’ll take Morgan home so he won’t be a cockblock.”

You laugh at their jokes, at least you think they’re joking for the rest of the night. That is until Rossi pays off the tabs and everyone begins to leave. “Hey, why don’t we take you home, Morgan? It’s on the way and Spencer can take Y/n home since it’s not that far from him?”

You don’t catch as Garcia winks at Morgan to go along with it and Morgan nods in agreement, “Sounds like a plan. You don’t mind, Reid, do you?” Morgan asks and Spencer shrugs and he smiles at you, “No, not at all. Is that okay with you, Y/n?” You swear, you get butterflies from anything this man does. You shrug, “Fine by me.”

You exchange your goodbyes as the four of your colleagues wriggle their eyebrows at you and you swear, you’re so gonna get them back for this one day. Or maybe thank them, who knows?

Spencer walks you back to his vehicle, a Volvo Amazon P130, an old school car that seemed right for a man such as Dr. Spencer Reid himself. Spencer wastes no time as he opens your car door for you and then makes his way to the driver’s seat to start the car.

“Sorry about the car, it’s pretty old school. Morgan says I should get a new car.” Spencer sheepishly smiles at you but you shake your head, “It’s a nice car, though.” Spencer furrows his brows, “Really, you don’t think it’s a hunk of junk?”

“Hunk of junk, sure. But you never see cars like these anymore. Any facts you can share with me about the design?” You ask and Spencer’s eyes light up as he begins to explain — “The production years were from 1961 to 1970. The engine programme was originally supposed to follow that of the 4-door model. However, as the 2-door was somewhat lighter, it was also regarded as somewhat more sporty and was therefore used in competitions, both rally driving and motor racing. They’d presented two models, however technically speaking, there was no difference between the two models. The doors were naturally longer on the new 2-door model to make it easier to get into the rear seat and the front seats could, of course, be folded forwards for the same reason—”

You listened intently as he talked about the car and the models. Honestly, you weren’t exactly understanding what he was saying but you watched as he spoke. If his hands hadn’t been on the wheel, he definitely would’ve spoken with his hands like he did often. You loved listening to him talk. Especially when no one on the team seemed to give him the time of day like you would. If you weren’t obvious about your crush before, you staring at him while he talked would do it. You wouldn’t lie if you said you didn’t find his knowledge sexy, you did. It was hard to concentrate when someone as amazing as him was sharing facts about anything everything and it turned you on, if you were being honest.

“Hey, Spence?” You ask. “Yup?” Spencer looks your way for a split second. And you don’t know what makes you say the next thing you say, but it confuses Spencer. “Pull over.”

Spencer looks at you, a little longer now with furrowed brows. “Uh… what?”

“Pull over.” You repeat.

Spencer is confused but nonetheless does as you request, turning towards a vacant street and puts the car in park. “Are you okay? Do you feel like you’re gonna get sick?” You look at Spencer and you smile a bit, warm at the fact that he seems to be concerned for you. Instead, you unbuckle your seatbelt and turn your body towards him and you hesitantly raise your hand towards his face and subconsciously, he leans into your touch.

He stares into your eyes, like he’s longed to do for so long. Spencer’s eyes take down and the poor man can’t help it, especially with the way you look in your dress tonight. The way it hugged your curves, filled out your breasts perfectly and the way it cupped your ass the way it was supposed to. He was no better than a twelve year-old boy.

And what could he say? Spencer had a crush. Since the day you walked into the BAU. He’d fallen deep and hard for you, how couldn’t he? You were an amazing person, with an incredible heart and a loving personality. And he’d always thought you were gorgeous. But the real issue was him. How could you love someone like him? He’d had so many issues of his own, not to mention he’d been told he looked like an earthworm and a pipe cleaner with eyes. His hair was getting long again, his ties were always perpetually crooked, he was weird. He wouldn’t blame you for not liking him. Hell, he wouldn’t like him.

But that couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

“Close your eyes.” You tell him and Spencer is hesitant on doing so but you encourage him to do so as you stare into his eyes and say — “Just trust me.”

Spencer gulps but nonetheless, he closes his eyes. He’d pretty much do anything for you. You lean closer to Spencer and you lick your lips, leaning your head forward and pray this goes well. You’d kissed a man before, it’s not like it was your first time, but this was Spencer. And this was different than the other boys you’d had crushes on in the past.

And you don’t know what’s persuading your newfound confidence, but what do next definitely confirms it for Spencer. Your lips latch onto his and you’re so focused on getting this kiss right, you don’t even realize that he seems to be kissing you back.

And you kiss him. You kiss him until breathing becomes a chore, you kiss him until you feel content with how you’ve kissed him, until he stops kissing you back.

You back up, looking him right in his eyes and you smile to yourself. You don’t really know what to say and you can see the shocked expression on his face and suddenly you’re regretting it. Oh, God, why did you just do that? You just totally ruined your friendship with Spencer and for what? For the expense of a kiss? A kiss he probably didn’t even want? You suddenly want to cower in a shell like a turtle.

“I— I’m sorry, I—” But before you can apologize properly, Spencer pulls you back in for another kiss, holding your face there he unbuckles his own seatbelt and you pull off your jacket in the process and climb on top of his lap in the car.

You don’t want to crush him with your weight so you hold yourself up on your knees on either side of his hips. “I take it you like me, too?” You ask him with a small smile. “Oh, I’m crazy about you.” Spencer admitted, making you blush a bit as he continues to kiss you.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Spencer stops and you put another kiss on pause and look him in the eyes. “Are you sure you’re sober… enough for this?” This man… At least he doesn’t want to take advantage of you, despite your primal need of wanting him to. “I am, Spencer. I swear. I was a little tipsy earlier, but my head is clear. I know what I’m doing.” You say with a serious tone. “But we can totally stop right here, if you want—”

Spencer denies your offer, pulling you in for another kiss. One kiss on your lips and he begins to kiss at your neck. You begin to rock forwards and Spencer holds your plush thighs on either side of him, pulling you into him so you ground down on him properly. He gasps as you whine at the friction and you stare into his eyes as you are quick to unbuckle his belt and pull out his cock.

“Wait, I don’t have a condom.” Spencer tells, almost pushing you away. “I’m on the pill.” You tell him. “But we can totally stop by a store and get one.” You suggest to him.

He considers this for a moment but he’s fantasized about this moment for a long time and every time he jerked off to the thought of you, he always imagined filling you. He actually imagined a lot of things that had to do with you.

“Would it be okay… if… we didn’t… use a condom?” Spencer asks shyly and you smirk, “That is definitely okay with me as long as it’s okay with you.” Spencer nods vehemently, “It’s definitely okay with me, too.”

So, you move your underwear to the side and straddle him. “I’ve… I’ve only done this one other time, so please bear with me.” You confess but Spencer doesn’t mind.

You settle yourself right down on his cock and gasp as he fills you, wrapping your arms around him and the seat behind him. “Oh, God!” He exclaims, calling you by your name.

You back up, looking down at him and his eyes are blown with lust and love. His hands rest on your thigh, running his hands over the smooth skin and one of his hands makes its’ way to your face and his thumb rubs underneath your eye, gazing into your eyes. “You’re so beautiful.” You shake your head at him, shyly but he doesn’t back down. “I mean it, Y/n. You’re beautiful. I’m not just saying this.”

You rock against him as you place your hands on his shoulders to brace yourself. “You’re beautiful too, doc.” You admit to him and lean close to his earlobe. “You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this.”

“I feel like I should be saying that to you.” Spencer tells, wrapping his arms around your body. “And seeing you in this dress… Jesus. You’re gorgeous.”

“Stop saying that.” You tell him, wanting to spare the comments from your mind if this was nothing to him. “No, I won’t. Because you are, Y/n. I want… I want it all. I want everything with you. Will you let me give you that? Please.”

You have to admit, you like seeing this side of Spencer Reid. The side that’s begging to have everything with you. The sight of him beneath you. You hold him tightly as you bounce up and down on his cock.

“God, you feel so good.” You tell him and his hands are everywhere on you. “So do you.” He chokes out.

“Spencer…” You gasp, rolling your hips on him. “I-I love you.” He confesses. “Please let me love you.” You back up again, seeing that pleasing look on his face and you stare down at him. “I-I love you, too. I love you.” You say and you say it with such certainty. If there was anything you were certain of in this moment, it was this. It was him. It was always him.

“I’m—I’m getting close.” Spencer whines and his hands quickly make their way to under your dress and he begins to rub your bundle of nerves and you nearly shriek at the motion, wanting to close your thighs together but he keeps them apart, wanting to see you fall apart in front of him. “Jesus, oh, my God! Spencer!” You moan out and he stares into your eyes, “Cum on my cock, sweet girl. Please.”

You shudder against him as you feel his cock throb and he fills you with his cum and you collapse against him, not caring anymore if you were crushing him with your body. All that mattered was that you were with him, here and now. You both pant and you feel as he rubs your back with his hand and kisses your neck.

You run a hand through his hair and chuckle to yourself. “Spencer…” You sigh. “Yeah?”

“Never ever get a new car.” He keeps that promise.

“can i be the little spoon” all day EVERYDAY SIR 🫡

Baptized In Fear

Summary: Spencer struggles to fight the demons that haunt him through withdrawal. You're there to remind him he doesn't have to fight alone.

CONTENT WARNINGS: 18+ MDNI!! This fic is intended for adult audiences. Mentions of previous drug addiction/withdrawal. Mentions of sleep paralysis. Some religious verbiage in a non-religious setting. Fingering (f!receiving), unprotected P in V sex (birth control mentioned), dry humping (my beloved), some praise, creampie (fingers burning as I type that). Best friends to lovers/two idiots in love (giggling and kicking my feet)!! A little angsty (I'm SORRY).

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!BAU!reader/afab!reader

A/N: This song-fic is based on Baptized In Fear by The Weeknd, so I strongly recommend listening to it while you read, but it's not mandatory :) God I've missed writing LMAO I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!!! :') <3 and if you DO enjoy it, please feel free to like, reblog, drop a comment, whatever your heart desires because I truly do appreciate any feedback I get on my works :) Friendly reminder that my requests are open btw okay I love you all MWAH!!

I fell asleep in the tub, I was met with paralysis

My foot hit the faucet, water started flowing in

Spencer woke with a sharp gasp, his gaze darting toward the frigid water now pouring over his skin. His fingers twitched at his sides, submerged and pruny. His eyes fluttered as he fought to keep them open. When had he dozed off? 

Couldn't scream for help, I just slowly felt the pressure hit

Moving one toe was the only form of motion left

Can't breathe for air, can't breathe

It was almost as though cement flowed through his veins instead of blood, keeping him anchored to the bottom of the porcelain tub. His pulse skyrocketed at the sound of the doorknob twisting followed by a sharp bang against the solid wood, but he couldn’t move. Logically, he knew that auditory hallucinations were normal for sleep paralysis. That didn’t stop them from being horrifying each time they happened. 

Spencer’s heart pounded in his throat, threatening to leap from the seam of his lips and dive for the drain if he were to open his mouth even a fraction. He was dizzy. Debilitatingly dizzy. The bright fluorescent light stung his eyes and made his head throb. 

He had to get out of this tub. 

Spencer focused all of the energy he could muster on wiggling his toes. He knew that once he got his toes to move, the rest of his body would follow behind shortly after. The sound of footsteps outside of the bathroom sent another pang of icy panic shooting up his spine, tightening the band-like sensation currently squeezing the air from his lungs and causing his ribs to ache. It felt like a rock was lodged in his throat, blocking his airway as he struggled to just wiggle his damn toes. 

Trying to remember everything that my preacher said

Tryna right my wrongs, my rеgrets filling up my head

All the timеs I dodged death, this can't be the way it ends, no

Spencer’s eyes slipped shut, exhaustion weighing them down. He was clammy despite the freezing water steadily rising, filling the tub beyond its normal limits. The gurgling sound of the overflow draining was muted by the incessant pounding at his bathroom door, the knocks sounding urgent and threatening. 

A tear dripped down his cheek as he recalled what his recovery coach had preached to him about withdrawal. Testaments about how excruciating it would be, how it would test his sanity… but it was a necessary evil. His only choice was to fight the craving for the sweet relief of the needle or lose the career he worked so hard to excel in. Lose the family he’d made from said career. Lose you. 

The water was now tickling Spencer’s chin, having slumped down into the tub presumably before he’d drifted off. His body was shivering violently, yet he still couldn’t lift a finger. Memories flashed behind his eyelids as he recounted every near death experience he’d had since joining the BAU. As he recounted literally dying and coming back to life at the hands of Tobias. In a way, he found it sardonic that he’d survived everything that he had just to die in a bathtub. All because he was too weak from withdrawal to fight the crippling grip of sleep paralysis. 

Figure in the corner I can't quite see 

I just know the shadow's staring at me

It gets closer, it gets closer, it gets closer now

Spencer’s eyes fluttered, opening in silent protest and staring unblinking up at the popcorn ceiling above. If this was to be the only movement his body would allow, then so be it. At least now he had something to focus on besides the barrage of memories blurring together in his mind or the overwhelming guilt consuming his entire being. 

His heart nearly stopped on its own accord when he caught sight of a dark, shadowy figure in his peripheral vision. He couldn’t move his eyes to bring his gaze to it directly, something he was both grateful for and terrified about. It felt as though whatever it was was staring directly at him, pleased by his unfortunate predicament. 

A tear dropped down into the water as the figure began to glide forward. Then another. And another. No matter how many times he repeated to himself that this was just a hallucination conjured up during the worst episode of sleep paralysis he’d ever experienced, the figure persisted, inching closer and closer. 

Figure in the corner laughing at me 

Water fill my lungs, vision blurry

Heartbeat slower, heartbeat slower, heartbeat slower

A low, rumbling chuckle filled the air as the water rose past Spencer’s lips now. The figure stopped at the edge of the tub now, its presence sinister. It was as though it was taunting him, gloating about its existence outside of the godforsaken bathtub he was about to drown in. 

His shallow breaths rippled the water as it began to rise underneath his nose, then above it, smothering any last shred of hope he had of breaking free of his paralysis and escaping what was about to become his ceramic grave. His body instinctively began to choke, fighting with strength he didn’t have to try to rid itself of the intrusion, but it was in vain. 

The popcorn ceiling blurred as muted sobs bubbled beneath the surface, his lungs burning with each failed breath. Spencer felt his pulse slow, the once frantic rhythm of his heart diminishing to a haunting lento. His eyes drifted shut as the water caressed his eyelashes, the final image his mind could summon being the first time he made you laugh, your head thrown back and your hand clutching his arm for support—the moment he’d fallen in love with you. 

Voices will tell me that I should carry on

Voices will tell me that I should carry on

“Spencer!” 

Spencer woke with a gasp, an intense wave of Deja-vu crashing into him as he jolted up. The freezing water that had surrounded him was gone, replaced by the comforting pressure of your hands on his shoulders and the blanket pooling in his lap. He blinked hard, trying to clear the haze from his vision as he took in his surroundings. The bathroom walls were no longer there. Instead, he found himself facing the plain, impersonal walls of the hotel room where they were staying while on the case. Spencer met your concerned gaze, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment as he realized not only had he woken you, but he had also worried you with his nightmare. 

Hotch had paired you together to double up, since the available rooms were limited. He figured that, as best friends, neither of you would mind. And you hadn’t—if anything, it gave you a chance to watch over Spencer, knowing he wasn’t doing as well as he’d claimed. You knew him too well to believe that. 

After Spencer was rescued, you started noticing the signs of addiction almost immediately. The shift in his personality was expected, given everything he’d been through. It was painful to accept, but you knew he would never be the same person he was before Tobias—and that was okay. You’d adjust to whatever version of him emerged. You were just happy that he was alive. But when the fidgeting grew constant, when his eyes seemed to drift into nothingness, when the bruises on his arm appeared, hidden under layers of long sleeves and cardigans… that’s when you knew it was time to step in. 

You’d confronted him about it, promising to not say a word to Gideon or Hotch as long as he swore to get help. And he did. The following day, he joined The Beltway Clean Cops, and to celebrate, you treated yourselves to takeout from your favorite spot and spent the day binge-watching movies together, enjoying the rare day off. For the first time since facing the needle that fateful night, Spencer felt hopeful. He felt seen. He felt loved. 

“Spence?” 

Your hushed voice snapped him out of his thoughts, his hazel eyes re-focusing as they traced your face. Your hair was tousled from sleep, your t-shirt wrinkled and pajama shorts askew, and your eyebrows were pinched together as you studied him in the dim light. But even so, he thought you looked like an angel. His angel. 

“Are you okay?” You whispered, moving your hand from his shoulder to press it to his forehead with a small frown. “You were crying in your sleep.” 

Spencer nodded, sucking in a shaky breath as he felt his pulse slowing. “I-I’m sorry for waking you. I just–” He swallowed, savoring the feeling of your hand now carding through his hair to soothe him. “I’ve been having these awful nightmares, and when it’s not nightmares then it’s episodes of sleep paralysis. A-and I know that’s to be expected with withdrawal… they’re just getting worse and more frequent and it’s making me want to avoid sleeping if it means I can avoid them.” His voice cracks on the last word, a tear slipping down his cheek as his eyes flicker down to his lap. 

Your frown deepened, your heart tightening at his words, until a thought crossed your mind. The room had two full-sized beds with a small nightstand between them, but that was easily movable. “What if…” you started, rising from where you sat beside him on the edge of the bed. “What if we push the beds together? I could hold you, and if you have a nightmare, I can wake you up. Would that help you get some rest?”

Spencer’s eyes widened slightly, his mouth opening and closing as he searched for the right words. He wasn’t sure if it would help him rest or keep him awake, given how he'd stayed up all night just to make sure he wouldn’t pop an erection from being so close to you. From the moment he’d met you, he’d been smitten, but he quickly accepted that you probably wouldn’t feel the same. So, he’d kept his feelings to himself, never crossing the line into anything more than friendship. “U-um… yeah. Sure. We—we can do that.” Spencer cleared his throat, nodding before awkwardly scrambling to his feet.

After arguing over where to put the nightstand and a few lighthearted jabs at Spencer’s strength (the beds were heavier than they looked), the beds were pushed together and the both of you were settled underneath the covers. Spencer was as stiff as a board, staring straight up at the ceiling while you set the alarm to wake you both in the morning. Turning the lamp off and rolling over onto your side, you stifle a chuckle at how rigid Spencer is. 

“Spence? Are you cold?” 

Spencer shook his head, his taut face barely visible in the moonlight streaming through the cheap, thin curtains. “No, no I’m not cold at all. I just—” he cut himself off with a huff. “I-I’m not used to sharing a bed with someone. That’s all.” 

You hummed in acknowledgment, propping yourself up on your elbow. There was almost a foot of space between you, leaving Spencer dangerously close to the edge. “C’mere, doc. I won’t bite.” Your voice was teasing yet gentle as you reached out, placing a soothing hand on his shoulder. “I can’t hold you if you’re about to fall off the bed.”

Spencer sucked in a breath, his eyes closing momentarily as he tries to cling to his composure before he shuffles closer to you, almost resembling an inchworm with the jerkiness of his movements. Once he’s laying a few inches away, you grin softly. You close the gap between you, resting your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arm around his waist. 

“Is this okay? Or, if you’re comfortable with it, you can be the little spoon,” you whisper, feeling the rapid pounding of his heart underneath your ear. His hands lay stiffly at his sides, picking at the sheets nervously. After a beat, he finally relaxes, sinking into the mattress with a shuddered breath before he answers. 

“Can I be the little spoon?” 

His voice is meek and trembling, like he’s on the verge of crying. But you don’t question it. Instead, you nod, moving so he can roll over onto his side. When he’s settled, you curl into him from behind, snuggling into his back and wrapping your arm around his waist once more. 

The warmth of his body pressed against yours is more comforting than you expected, and with a soft sigh you surrender to the lull of sleep. 

I've been baptized in fear, my dear

I've been the chief of sin

Washing my soul within

Spencer lied awake, the minutes ticking by agonizingly slowly while he stared at the bleak wall and counted every one of your soft breaths puffing against his neck. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to sleep. Quite the contrary, actually. He was desperate for even just a few hours before you both would have to wake up and meet the others at the precinct. But he had a problem. 

Somehow, in your sleep, you’d managed to shift so that your face was only centimeters from the back of his head, rather than pressed against his back. Your arm, once draped around his waist, now hugged his chest, while your thigh rested across his hip and your calf dangled in front of him. You were practically curled around him like a koala.  

Normally, he wouldn’t have any qualms with that. He’d longed for the chance to be this close to you for ages. But your calf was pressing against his crotch in an infuriatingly enticing way, and he was stuck in the dilemma of moving your leg and risking waking you or letting your leg stay where it was and use all of his will-power to stay awake so he wouldn’t drift off and subconsciously hump against your leg like a frantic animal from the wet dream he was bound to have. 

He finally opted on moving your leg once the feeling of your face pressing into his neck and your lips skimming across his skin caused all of his blood to rush south. Slowly–oh so slowly–he brought his hand up to gently grab your calf. Your bare skin was silky and warm in his hand, making his eyes flutter shut as he fought the urge to groan. 

A murmur slipped from your lips at the feeling of his touch, causing him to pause out of fear that he’d woken you. After counting the seconds between your breaths to ensure you were in fact still sleeping, he eased your leg up, ready to move it off of him when you stirred. Your grip on him tightened, pulling him impossibly closer as your leg pressed down into him even harder than before. 

The friction from your leg pressing against his now aching cock made his breath hitch, a whimper slipping free into the night air before he could stop it. He was convinced now that, for whatever reason, the universe was pulling a cruel prank on him. Punishing him with the feeling of your body pressed against his but not allowing him to actually touch you. Not in the way he craved to at least. 

The sound was enough to rouse you from sleep, a result of becoming a light sleeper since joining the BAU. Spencer stiffened, his body going rigid as he felt you lift your head, gathering your bearings. Then he felt your leg press into him again, this time intentionally. 

“Spence?” 

Your whisper in his ear sent chills down his spine. He swallowed hard, praying to whatever could hear him that you weren’t disgusted or upset at him because of his erection digging into your calf. After a beat, he finally whispered back. 

“Yes?” 

Shifting again, your hand trailed down his chest to rest on his tummy. Spencer was convinced his heart did an actual somersault in his chest. 

“Do you want help with that?” 

If words could stop a heart, then those surely did the trick. Spencer blinked hard before pinching himself, ensuring himself that he wasn’t dreaming again. When he winced from the pinch, he did it one more time for good measure. Nope. He was awake. 

When he didn’t answer, your hand slipped even lower to tease the waistband of the pajama pants he wore. His cock twitched at the sensation of your nails slightly dragging back and forth along the sliver of exposed skin there, and his lips parted in shock as you whispered into his ear again. 

“The hormones released during sex help promote sleep…” Your voice was raspy still, adding a sultry edge to your already sinful offer. “...which you really need.” 

Spencer swallowed, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he finally managed to speak. “Y-you don’t have to offer something you don’t want to do just because you f-feel bad for me.” His voice cracked with a mix of defeat and embarrassment. 

That cleared any remaining sleep from your veins as you moved to sit up. A frown pulled at your lips as you rested a hand on his shoulder, gently urging him to turn over. “Hey,” you murmured, sadness lacing your tone. “Spence, look at me.” When he finally turned over, your heart broke into fragments. Tear streaks glistened on his cheeks in the dim moonlight, his face forlorn and downright pitiful as his lower lip trembled. 

“You know me better than to assume I’d ever offer something I didn’t want to do.” 

Spencer knew you were right, but his mind couldn’t bring itself to accept it. To him, it had always seemed utterly illogical that you could ever feel even a fraction of what he felt for you—let alone be drawn to him enough to offer that. And yet, here you were, looking at him with a fondness that made his heart stutter. 

“Are you…” He swallowed hard, reaching up to wipe his tears away. “Are you sure?” 

You nodded, offering a small smile. “Of course I am, Spence. I–” Sucking in a breath, you averted your gaze to the bed before continuing despite the heat rushing to your cheeks. “I know it probably wasn’t my best idea to make a move the way I did, but I’ve… um. I’ve had feelings for you for a really long time and I just figured since you were hard that that was as good of a time as any to finally say something about them.” Your fingers picked at the fabric of the sheets, your nerves running rampant now that you’d finally put your feelings out into the open instead of keeping them tucked away. 

Spencer stared at you in silence for a moment, slack-jawed and doe-eyed. When you finally brought your gaze back up to his, the sight made you chuckle. That snapped him out of it, his face flushing as he cleared his throat and sat up. 

“I-I feel the same way,” he said less than elegantly. Fumbling for words, he continued. “You are… everything. You’re everything to me. You always have been. I knew you would be the moment I met you.” 

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes at his words, and a small, disbelieving laugh left your lips at his admission. Instead of replying with words (which were failing you at the moment anyways), your hands cupped his cheeks, pulling him into a kiss. 

I've been baptized in fear, my dear

Like Paul, I'm the chief of sin

Washing my soul within 

Spencer gasped in surprise against your lips, stiffening for half a second before melting into your touch. His lips sought yours out tentatively, his head tilting just enough to find the perfect angle. His hands found your waist as your mouths worked together, resting hesitantly there as though he were afraid that if he touched you too hard you’d disintegrate into thin air and he’d wake up alone and aching like he had so many times before. 

But this was real. 

Your hands slid from his cheeks into his hair, tugging gently as you pulled him closer. A soft groan slipped from his lips as your tongue brushed his lower lip, silently begging for entrance. He eagerly granted it, whimpering slightly at the molten sensation of all of his blood rushing south once more. 

Spencer, in a surprisingly brazen move, pulled you into his lap, propping up against the headboard. His hands slid from your waist up to rest on your ribs, his thumbs tracing the space below your breasts through the thin fabric of your shirt. He reveled in the shiver that coursed through your body, taking it as a sign that you were enjoying his touch and letting his hands trail higher until he was gingerly cupping you, thumbing over your pebbled nipples. 

“Spence,” you breathed, breaking the kiss. Your chests heaved, the both of you panting and wild-eyed as your gaze met. “You can take it off. I want you to… Please?”

That one simple word was almost his undoing. Please. You’d said it so sweetly. So needy. He’d gladly give you everything your heart desired and more if that’s how you asked for it—though he knew he’d give it to you regardless, no begging necessary.

Spencer nodded, letting out a shaky breath as his fingers found the hem of your shirt. He tugged up, lifting it over your head and tossing it to the ground without a second thought.

He might as well have tossed his brain with the fabric, considering that it was now rendered completely useless at the sight of your bare breasts right in front of his face. His eyes widened in awe, making you duck your head into the crook of his neck to shy away from the intensity of his gaze.

“Like what you see?” You murmured teasingly, nipping at his skin gently before placing an open mouthed kiss on his jaw.

“There aren’t enough words in the English language to describe how much I like what I’m seeing right now.”

Spencer’s answer sent the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy, fluttering wildly as you pulled back to grin at him. Your hands found his chest, steadying yourself as you shifted in his lap. A breathy groan filled the air as the movement pressed your hips together, the hint of friction feeling almost electric as pleasure zipped through the both of you.

You repeated the motion, grinding against him with a soft sigh. His hands fell to your hips, squeezing as he guided your movements. His head tilted back, smacking the headboard with a quiet thud.

“Ow!” He huffed out indignantly, but he was grinning, savoring the giggles bubbling from your lips as you laughed at him.

“Guess you could say I’m a real knock out, huh?” You teased, squealing as he pinched your side and rolled his eyes at your lame joke.

Your giggles devolved into muted moans as he leaned forward to mouth at your nipple, pinching the other between his fingers as you rocked against him. Your eyelids fluttered shut at the sensation, the desire pooling in your lower stomach growing hotter by the second. Your hands drifted up his chest to rest on his shoulders, using the leverage to rock against him even harder.

The ache between your legs was dizzying. A whine slipped free from your lips when you felt his muffled moan on your skin, his tongue laving across your nipple before he switched sides. The cold air against your warm, spit-slicked skin sent chills down your spine.

“Need you,” you mumbled, letting your fingers slide down to the bottom of his shirt. “Can I take this off?”

Spencer nodded, releasing your nipple with a soft pop as he sat back just enough to pull it off and toss it to the floor to join yours. Your eyes greedily drank in the sight of the newly exposed skin, taking note of every single freckle and scar you saw before you leaned in to kiss him again.

This time, it felt desperate. Messy. Primal. Gone was the hesitation, the exploration of something new, instead replaced with a hunger only each other could satiate.

Hands roamed across skin, silently pledging your devotion to one another as your hips continued their frantic movements. Spencer’s fingers dug into your hips as he broke the kiss, looking up at you with pleading eyes.

“I-“ he swallowed hard, fighting to hold back a moan as you rubbed against him just right. “C-can I please fuck you? Please?”

It was your turn to fight back a moan as you gazed down at him, the dim moonlight illuminating his features in the most hauntingly beautiful way possible.

“God yes.”

At your answer, Spencer found the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down your thighs with a newfound urgency. You rolled off of him, ignoring his whine as you shimmied out of them.

“Well? Aren’t you going to take your pants off?” You arched a brow, motioning to his still-clothed lower body with a sly grin.

Spencer was frozen, his kiss-swollen lips parted as he stared at your now completely naked body. You hadn’t been wearing any panties under your shorts, a revelation that had him almost cumming on the spot. Blinking, his mouth opens and closes a few times before his brain finally catches up.

He hurriedly shoved the plaid fabric of his pajamas pants down, kicking them off the end of the bed along with his boxers. “There,” he whispered, moving to hover above you. Before you could respond, his lips were on yours once more.

A shocked gasp caught in your throat as his fingers found your core, running up and down your slit to collect your wetness before dipping into your folds. A groan rumbled against your lips as he pressed a finger inside of you, pumping it in and out slowly as the heel of his hand pressed against your clit.

“You like that?”

His question wasn’t cocky. It wasn’t arrogant. It was genuine curiosity, wonderment threaded through his hushed words as he pulled back to take in the sight of you underneath him. When you nodded, he grinned, kissing your forehead before whispering again.

“Can I add another?”

“Please do.”

Spencer didn’t need to be told twice. He added the second digit, thrusting his fingers and curling them to try to find that small patch of nerves tucked away inside you. A smirk graced his lips when your back arched, the small cry leaving your lips letting him know he’d found it.

Your body writhed under his as he pounded his fingers into that spot, unrelenting in his mission to make you fall apart beneath him. He could feel your walls tightening, your wetness coating his hand as you neared the edge.

“I-I’m—Spence!”

Your legs thrashed, your eyes squeezing shut and hands gripping the sheets as you came hard. Spencer watched, his gaze reverent as he slowly pumped his fingers, coaxing you through your orgasm.

“That’s it,” he murmured, pressing a gentle kiss to your open mouth. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

Trembling, you let out a breathy laugh as you finally opened your eyes. “Fuck, Spence. C’mere.” You pulled him down, threading your fingers through his hair with a dopey smile.

He settled between your spread legs, his breath hitching as his hard cock pressed against your thigh. “I… um…” His eyes fluttered shut as you angled your hips, reaching down to line him up with your entrance. “I didn’t bring any protection—“

“I’m on birth control, sweetheart. And I’m clean. Does that work for you?”

Spencer groaned, dropping his head into the crook of your neck and nodding against your warm skin. The idea of fucking you already had his knees weak. But fucking you raw? He felt like the most blessed man alive, favored by whatever entity existed.

It took every ounce of willpower he had not to immediately cum as he sank into you, inch by devastating inch. The feeling was pleasure in its purest form. Redemption. Salvation.

A guttural groan ripped its way from his throat as he bottomed out, panting into the crook of your neck as your fingers carded through his hair. Everything about you felt perfect. Too perfect.

“I won’t last long. I’m so sorry,” Spencer murmured sheepishly, lifting his head to look at you. His cock twitched at the sight of you, all flushed and spread out beneath him. He gave a tentative thrust, moaning at how your body seemed to grip him, pulling him back in as if he belonged there. He’d spend forever inside of you if he could.

You shushed him, pressing a lingering kiss to his lips. “That’s okay, baby. Don’t apologize,” you reassured him, dragging your nails gently down his back.

He shivered, swallowing hard before nodding. His hips began to move, slowly at first before his control dissolved completely. His hips began rutting into yours, the lewd sound of skin against skin filling the air between pants and moans.

Within minutes, Spencer was trembling in your arms, his pace faltering. You brushed his hair back from his face, a satisfied smile lingering on your face as you looked up at him through hooded lids.

“That’s it, Spence. You’re doing so good. Made me feel so good, sweetheart. Cum for me.”

Spencer’s hips jerked at your words, his mouth falling open around a moan as he filled you with everything he had. He swore his vision gave out for a second, replaced instead with explosions of color behind his eyelids. His chest heaved as he gulped down air, rolling off of you with a quiet groan before flopping onto the bed beside you.

Once he’d caught his breath, Spencer leaned over to press a kiss to your temple before urging you to get up and go pee. You whined, shoving him away playfully and grumbling the entire ten steps it took for you to reach the bathroom (and flipping him off when he cackled at your awkward waddle to try to prevent his cum from dripping down your legs and onto the floor).

Figure in the corner I can't quite see 

I just know the shadow's staring at me

It gets closer, it gets closer, it gets closer now

When you returned, Spencer opened his arms, pulling you into them and whispering about how thankful he was for you and how, now that he had you, he’d never let you go. He peppered soft kisses along your jawline, then across your cheeks, murmuring about how beautiful you were as you dozed off against his chest.

For once, he finally didn’t feel the gnawing craving that usually chipped at him throughout the day. He finally felt like he could breathe.

Figure in the corner laughing at me 

Water fill my lungs, vision blurry

Heartbeat slower, heartbeat slower, heartbeat slower

Lying there with you, holding you in his arms and cradling your body against his, he finally felt at peace. So much so that when he started to drift off, he didn’t panic like he usually would. No.

Instead, he simply pulled you closer, finally allowing sleep to take him. Because he knew if his demons came back to haunt him at any point during the night, you’d be right there beside him, fighting them with him.

Voices will tell me that I should carry on

Continued A/N’s: I’m a dumbass and accidentally fell asleep without setting an alarm so I’m posting this just a little later than I want to but here it is!! :’) Again, I hope you guys enjoyed 🫶🏼 -K

REMINDER: I do NOT give permission for my work to be re-uploaded to any other platforms (c.ai, Tiktok, ao3, etc.) under any circumstances. If you'd like to translate my work, then please ask me before doing so. I know it sounds whiny, but I (as well as many other fanfic writers) spend so much time on these and it's genuinely not okay to take credit for work that isn't yours. It's insulting and completely unnecessary. If I do see my work uploaded anywhere without explicit permission, I WILL say something.

GUYS MGG HAS TIKTOK NOW HIDE THE EDITS