Some Days, You Wake Up And You’re Content In Life.

I hate my curly hair so much I'll brush it for like an hour and itll he smooth as silk but in literally like one minute there's at least 10 knots wHY

ADFADGSFDGKSFG 

BECAUSE IT’S NOT MEANT TO BE BRUSHED!! 

STOP BRUSHING OUT CURLY HAIR 2k19!!!

I hate this, because almost no one knows it. No one tells kids with curly hair how to actually take care of their hair.

You can’t treat curly hair like straight hair and expect the same results! You can’t! It doesn’t work! Curly hair gets its own routine! 

Okay, look, here’s the deal.

Your curls are… curls. They are MEANT to go together into a GROUP. They are not like straight hair which just hands out in one big… thing. Curls have groups.

By BRUSHING it, you are splitting those good-curl groups into separate strands, which, on their own, are STILL trying their goddamned best to curl, but now that they are away from their friends, they are only clinging haphazardly to each other as best as they can and creating tangles!

Here’s what brushed curly hair looks like:

Here’s what well-treated curly hair that has CURL-FRIENDS is supposed to look like (curl size may vary):

See how the curl is NOT only one strand of hair? It’s a whole group!

You know how you get those nice curls?

STOP BRUSHING.Give your curls back their curl-friends!

Okay, here’s the deal - you sit down. You look at this chart. Figure out your type of curl. (guesstimate)

And now you go to this website and you read about what curly hair actually needs to thrive, and you change your routine, and you promise me that you will NEVER disappoint your curls like that again!!!! 

Basics:

1) Curly hair is damaged by heat, lack of moisture, and sulfates in shampoo. 

 - No blowdrying - use a cotton towel or t-shirt to scrunch your hair and get extra moisture out, and allow to air-dry

 - Turn down the shower temp while washing hair. I mean it.

 - Try to find a better shampoo.

2) Curly hair NEEDS moisture, and it NEEDS leave-in conditioner.

 - Use lots of conditioner.

 - Use leave-in conditioner

 - Try to use water spray over chemical setting sprays. 

3) Curly hair does not need to be brushed, only combed with a wide-tooth comb.

 - Comb the hair through with your fingers while in the shower and detangle while you have conditioner in. 

 - Comb again with a wide-toothed comb after the shower if needed

 - If you need to, use a twist of some sort to keep hair out of the way, but don’t squeeze it too much - give it room to breathe!

More tips from smarter people probably exist but that’s the basic stuff.

PLEASE be nice to your curly hair.

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

“Look me in the eye, I am filled with existential angst”

Never telling anyone anything else about why I will not be doing something

I think “Hey, fuck you, buddy. I spent the night learning to riverdance,” is going to be my go-to excuse for everything, now. –AW

Marzipan Boy part 1

Tim shot a quick message to Tam, letting her know that he would be busy for a while, and then he shoved his headphones on and pushed the button to darken the windows of his office.

Tam thought he was taking a nap, and encouraged his daily hour of “dark time”.

Tim was NOT taking a nap, he was watching the love of his life play video games (sue him, he might doze off once or twice during the stream, but it wasn’t on purpose.)

“Good afternoon, gamers. It’s NightenGames here, and I have not had enough coffee.”

Chuckling at the semi-regular intro, Tim took a sip of his dark roast and settled back into his desk chair.

“Today we’re playing Elder Ring- My friend PharaohTuck finally finished setting up my mods.”

Tim wasn’t entirely sure what exactly the mods NightenGames used did, but apparently they were necessary for him to play. The Yeddit threads were full of speculation- from control mods meant for metahumans/aliens, to cheats to make the games easier.

Very few fans believed that one- Nighten died too many times to be cheating with his mods.

“Ooooh, what a fancy character creator! Alright, folks- who should we mock this time? I’m seeing a lot of votes for Lex Luthor in the chat, a few for Bruce Wayne- which, let me remind you, I’ve already done both Wayne and Luthor in the last month, so they’re out.”

This was why Tim had originally followed NightenGames- the streamer would pick a rich person and then pretend to be them for the entire stream, as if they were playing the game. Yeddit had checked- most of the quotes Nighten used were straight from public videos of the target.

“Tim Drake, huh? CEO of Wayne Industries? Isn’t he, like, the same age as me? I dunno, guys- like, nepo baby for suresies, but…”

Tim startled at the sound of his own name, and swooned a little at the way it rang out in Nighten’s rich baritone.

“You’re right, BarleyWater32, I have not picked on Tim Drake yet. In my defense… I have no defense. He’s hot and I’d smash. Don’t want to spoil my minuscule chances, right? Right. Anyways. Oh! Oliver Queen, I can do him. Well, not DO him, but- make me shut up.”

Blinking at his computer, Tim couldn’t help but flush at the knowledge that his internet crush thought he was “hot and would smash”.

Tim would smash too, honestly. He’d done his research. Daniel ‘Danny’ Nightengale was VERY attractive behind the virtual avatars he used.

“Let me pull up Ollie-boy’s avatar- ah ha! Can’t miss that mustache anywhere.”

The avatar finally popped up in the video- Nighten didn’t usually have one up until the chat had chosen a victim, even if he did have a standard avatar for after he was done gaming.

If he had to pick, Tim liked the avatar for Queen the best. He wore a silly pair of green sunglasses, and his matching green mustache twirled far beyond his face- the real Oliver would never, but the mockery was funny.

“Ahem. Yes. Hello. My name is Ollie Queen and I’m richer than anyone else in this city. Let’s get this bread!”

Elder Ring went well- through some chance Nighten picked an archery build for his run through, which Tim thought was quite ironic- and the stream went on for a whole hour before Nighten switched to his standard avatar.

“Okay, folks, I’m going to shut down now- and Tim Drake? If you’re watching? DM me.”

Nighten chuckled a little, like he’d made an impossible request, but Tim was vibrating in his seat, reaching for his phone to DM the streamer.

The video ended abruptly, and Tim’s autotimer on the darkened windows ran out.

Tam was standing expectantly outside of the door, smiling serenely in- but her arms were full of folders that she undoubtedly need signatures on.

With a sigh, Tim took off his headphones, dropped his cell on his desk, and waved her in. Work waited for no man.

~~~

“Danny, are you sure you don’t want me to make you an avatar for one Tim Drake?”

“Positive, Tuck.”

Tucker pouted and draped himself over the back of the couch, leaning his head into Danny’s space as he worked on his essay.

“It would give you an excuse to watch videos of your cruuuuush!”

Danny felt his face go hot, and he shoved Tucker’s face away from his ear.

“Get off, man. I have to finish this paper before midnight.”

His friend stood straight, presumably looking at the clock on the oven.

“Oof, bro.”

10:30PM wasn’t a great time to be writing an essay. Danny knew he should have done it earlier, but, well. He had to film and edit a video for his second channel. UTube wasn’t earning him money yet, but hopefully soon?

Who was he kidding? He would probably have to go back to Vlad for money soon, and he hated the thought of it.

It was hard enough to live in this ramshackle Gotham apartment with both Tucker and Sam, keep up with UTube and streaming, and get through school, without having to cater to Vlad’s whims on top of it.

Sam had only promised to help with his portion of rent for two years, and he was almost hitting that deadline. He hated taking advantage of her guilt for getting him killed in the first place, but she had insisted, even if she couldn’t sustain it for their whole college career.

Danny groaned and turned his attention back to his paper.

11:15 rolled around, and Danny finished checking his paper for mistakes before sending it in. He shut his laptop, planning to brush his teeth before crashing out on the couch.

Tucker had already gone to bed, and Sam was out on an internship trip for the week, so he didn’t have to worry too much about being disturbed after he fell asleep.

His phone chimed with a donation notification and he lazily opened the message.

Tucker came running out of his and Sam’s bedroom, wrapped in a bathrobe and wielding a Creep Stick at Danny’s resulting screech.

“TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS? FROM TIMOTHY DRAKE-WAYNE?”

petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’

two of my favorite hcs that i have are that andrew is like an extreme car guy he fucking loves expensive fast cars but he also knows like jackshit. refuses to learn anything about them. originally bought the gs by asking for the most expensive thing he could get within his budget. the maserati gets a flat tire and andrew is staring down at the tire jack like he can explode it with his eyes. the engine makes a weird sound and he just plays the music louder and ignore it. and then u have neil who knows literally nothing about car breeds and what makes them impressive but is like magical when it comes to making them work. takes him 10 minutes to change a tire. he looks under the hood once and suddenly the engine light that was on for 2 months? disappears. he's like 'hey andrew have u ever checked the oil' '...' 'andrew you've had this car for 4 years'. they go on a drive one day and the maserati breaks down so neil shows him how to hotwire a car so they can drive to a nearby garage and andrew thinks it's the hottest thing he's ever done

Clintucky (WinterHawk)

Based entirely off of THIS PICTURE by the talented @shan101pi and written in approximately seven minutes so I didn’t forget the idea:

ALSO, I feel like this could use a dozen or so more chapters. 

ALSO If I write more, I’ll probably call it “Greener Pastures” or something like that, but Clintucky made me laugh so hard I ugly snorted so… you know :) 

******************

The woman at the bar in town had told Bucky the farm was “not quite hollerin’ distance from the bridge, but close enough to be called a walk”. 

Bucky didn’t know what the hell those directions meant, but there was a driveway a short walk from the end of the bridge and a gate with a handwritten sign proclaiming “Free Chikkens if you can Catch’ Em” and since it was the only gate he’d seen since leaving town nearly an hour previous, he figured this was the one the redhead had meant. 

Farm work wasn’t exactly Bucky’s idea of a good time, but he needed money and he needed a lowkey place to hide stay for a few months and after hitching a ride with a trucker in Chicago and ending up in the middle of Cornfield, USA– well, this was good a spot as any to hunker down for a while. 

The lane was longer than Bucky had expected, and after an hours hike from town he was puffing a little when he finally made the turn around a corner and came up on a big farmhouse that looked like something out of those cheesy Americana pictures– picket fences and white shutters and a big porch with a couple rocking chairs. 

Bucky half expected to smell apple pie and see a hound dog lazing around in the shade, maybe spy a couple of bare foot brats running round in the creek, but even after standing in the yard for a few minutes, Bucky didn’t see anyone or hear anything other than the noise of animals in the distance. 

Upon closer inspection, it was obvious the farm house wasn’t quite as perfect as he’d first thought– shutters hanging sideways and paint peeling. The rocking chair leg was broken and the porch steps sagged alarmingly when Bucky walked up and one of the windows was broken, a sheet of plastic stretched over the frame to keep the weather out. 

“Hello?” Bucky called, his hand automatically twitching towards the gun tucked in back of his pants. He didn’t like the emptiness and he didn’t like the silence. “Anyone here? Hello? Girl in town said you needed some help out here, is anyone here?” 

Quiet for another moment and then Bucky tipped his head to the side, thinking he’d heard a voice around back. 

“Hello?” He avoided the squeaky porch and went down to the yard and around to the barn he’d glimpsed coming up the road. “Anyone back here? I’m looking for some work?” 

There was definitely a voice coming from the barn and Bucky approached the double doors cautiously, not wanting to startle anyone who might be holding a rifle or some other farm implement that could double as a weapon. 

“Hello?” he called again. “I’m looking for the guy that owns this place….?” he poked his head around the doors and stopped in his tracks. “Um… what is going on here?” 

The man in the middle of the barn was being chased around by what could only be an army of chicks, fluffy balls of yellow armed with sharp beaks and the most obnoxious peeps in the world, shouting, “No no no! I was trying to feed you! Don’t turn on me like this!” 

The guy stopped abruptly when he saw Bucky at the door. “Oh. Hey look at that. Can I help–” he looked down when his feet were swarmed by annoyed sounding chicks. “Aw chickies….no. Go find your mama or something, I don’t even like you!” 

Despite his words, the blonde bent down and scooped up armfuls of chicks, clucking and trilling at them as he carried them over to a makeshift pen. “Please stay there. I’m begging you. I’m literally begging you. Five minutes.” 

He shut the pen door with his foot and made an attempt at dusting chick feathers off his clothes and hair before shooting Bucky a grin. “Sorry about that. Chickens. What’r’ya gonna do?” 

“Um–” Bucky made a vague gesture, not quite sure what to think about the scene he’d just witnessed. “Well uh–” 

“Tasha phoned to say she was sending someone down to work with me.” the farmer continued with a friendly smile. “Took you so long to get here, thought for sure you’d gotten lost. Find the place okay?” 

“The directions I was given included the phrase ‘hollerin’ distance from the bridge’.” Bucky said flatly, regaining at least a little of his composure. “Not really sure how to interpret that.” 

“Oh, that means if you stood on the bridge and hollered?” he shook his head. “I couldn’t hear you at the house.”

“…alright.”

“So you’re looking for work, huh?” A quick sweep of blue eyes over Bucky’s frame, lingering over the gleam of his silver prostheses. “Can’t say I was expecting a Terminator to answer my help wanted add but you look beefy enough to toss hay bales and I suppose that’s all that matters. Welcome to Clintucky.” 

“Welcome to–” Bucky looked down at the outstretched hand and then back up at the guy. “Sorry, what? Welcome to where?” 

“Clintucky.” he said again, as if the word explained anything at all. “You know, like Kentucky, except my name’s Clint, not Ken, so it’s Clintucky.” 

“Clintucky.” 

“Oh right, right I’m bad at this, let me try again.” He cleared his throat and offered his hand again. “Name’s Clint and this is my farm. You lookin’ for work for the summer?” 

“Uh… yes?” Bucky reached out and shook Clint’s hand. “Yes I am.” 

“Great.” Clint looked so relieved it almost worried Bucky. “Cos I’ve got about a billion things needin’ done round here. I can’t pay you a whole lot but you can sleep in the house and use my truck and all that. We can switch off making meals if that’s your thing. Gotta be up with sunrise which is a bitch, but I make great coffee. You allergic to anything? Cats? Dogs? Milk?” 

“…no.” 

“Well then great! You can start in the morning!” Clint was practically beaming at him, and then– “Oh shit, I am bad at this. What did you say your name was?” 

“Bucky.” he said slowly, and Clint turned that megawatt grin up a couple notches in brightness. “Bucky Barnes.”

“Alright then Bucky Barnes. Welcome to Clintucky. Lookin’ forward to working with you.” 

Bucky couldn’t help his own begrudging smile, or the way his eyes lingered at the pull of faded flannel on Clint’s shoulders, the strain at the seam of his jeans as the farmer crouched back down to swoop up another runaway chick. 

“Lookin’ forward to working with you too.” 

*********************

hiii, this might be weird, but who is Lazarus? I'm not religious, so I've tried searching for who he is, but I can't seem to get a clear answer and was wondering if you could explain him?

ah yes, lazarus of bethany. a man i consider to be equal parts friend and foe.

lazarus lived in bethany with his two sisters, mary and martha. and when we meet him, he’s sick. so much so that his sisters send for jesus of nazareth saying, “lord, your dear friend is very sick.”

jesus of nazareth was in jerusalem when he received the message. and despite being only a few miles from bethany, and despite jesus loving martha and mary and lazarus, he waited. he didn’t go to them straight away. he waited. he waited until lazarus died and then said, “lazarus’ sickness will not end in death. no, it happened for the glory of god so that the son of god will receive glory from this.”  

and when jesus finally made it to bethany he was told lazarus had already died. that he has already been in the grave for four days. and when martha, sister of lazarus got word that jesus was coming, she went to meet him. and mary, sister of lazarus did not. and when martha saw jesus she said to him, “lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

and jesus said to her, “your brother will rise again.”

but then mary arrived and she saw jesus and she fell at his feet and she said, “lord, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.” and she wept over her brother. because she loved him and he was gone. and jesus should have been there. because if jesus had been there, her brother would not have died.

and jesus saw her weeping. and he saw the other people wailing with her. because lazarus was deeply loved. and now he was gone. and they had sent for jesus. they had prayed for a miracle. and that miracle didn’t come until it was four days too late. and they didn’t know that jesus was going to bring lazarus back. they didn’t know that jesus had waited that long to teach a lesson. to prove a point. they just knew jesus was too late. and now they were forced to grieve.

and then a deep anger welled up in jesus. and he was deeply troubled. and jesus asks, “where have you put him?” and the people say, “lord, come and see.” and he does. and when he sees, jesus weeps. when he sees, we get the shortest verse in the bible. a mere two words to sum up an entire town’s grief. two words to convey the loss of a sibling. two words are offered for the preventable death of a loved man.

jesus is four days too late. and jesus?

jesus wept.

and the people who loved lazarus turned to him and said to jesus, “see how much he loved him!”

jesus loved lazarus. and then he let him die.

and some of the people said about jesus “this man healed a blind man. couldn’t he have kept lazarus from dying?”

and then jesus, who knew all along that he would revive lazarus. jesus, who let all those people mourn. jesus, who let those sisters lose their brother. jesus, who let them weep. jesus, who wept with them. that very same jesus said to those who loved lazarus, who mourned him, jesus of nazareth said to them, “didn’t i tell you that you would see god’s glory if you believe?”

and then the stone of lazarus’ tomb was rolled aside. and then jesus looked up to heaven and said, “father, thank you for hearing me. you always hear me, but i said it out loud for the sake of all these people standing here, so that they will believe you sent me.” and then jesus shouted, “lazarus, come out!” and he did.

lazarus the dead man came out, his hands and feet and face wrapped still in burial cloth. and then jesus of nazareth told them, “unwrap him and let him go!”

and then lazarus of bethany became lazarus of the grave. lazarus of the grave that will never be left behind even though he has risen and relinquished. lazarus of the grave who did not make good his escape unscathed. lazarus of the grave who will now check each darkened doorway as death and his sting is keenly felt.

lazarus was a man. a man whose family loved him. a man whose sisters sent for a miracle. a man whose sisters mourned him in the four days it took for that miracle to show up. a man who was made an example for no reason other than being loved by jesus. a thing that we are all told to be. loved by our savior.

lazarus is a man who makes me wonder three things. firstly, if jesus had been there that my brother may not have died. secondly, if jesus of nazareth too weeps for me. and thirdly, if jesus loves us and we in turn love him too like the scriptures command, why does he use us in the lessons he teaches.

why must we be the men he makes believers of?

so lazarus was just a man whose crime was loving jesus. and martha was just a girl whose crime was loving her brother. and they both suffered a miracle because of it.

Hospital notes