You Suddenly Like Jake Webber And Your Bio Says You're Autistic. It's Giving Chronically Online Teenager

"lost in the 80s" - my metallica dr-based fanfiction!!

chapter one: hungover at the beach 

I woke up to the sound of my roommate (who’s simultaneously my ex-boyfriend and best friend), Dave, throwing my bedroom door open, yapping about how it’s time for me to wake up. It’s 9am on a Friday, band rehearsal is on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and it’s never this early, so why the fuck is he waking me up now? Naturally, instead of getting up, I pulled my covers over my head, avoiding the light that was making my head pound so hard that I felt like a vampire with light sensitivity issues. I was incredibly hungover from the night before, we spent all night drinking and partying, celebrating our album coming out soon, finally finishing another song after weeks cramped in that tiny studio going over the same riffs. I’ve never been much of a partier or a drinker like the others, but it was Lars that convinced me to “loosen up and have a drink,” and he can be oddly convincing so I joined; turns out I am in fact a lightweight and I’m facing the consequences. I spent the night avoiding the crowd while Jasmine and Lars kept pulling me back into the crowd while I was getting called a “poser” by some random guy because my favorite band is Eagles and not some underground, guttural thrash metal band, and arguing with James. Pretty much everything else was a blur. 

The sound of continuous car horns honking outside and Dave non-stop yelling “Wake up, wake up, waaaakkkeeeee uuuuuuppppp!!” finally got my ass out of bed. I stumble into the living room to see two packed tote bags on the counter, and James leaning against the same counter fidgeting with his rings. 

“What are you doing here?” I say with a scratchy morning voice and already an attitude brewing at the quick sight of him.

“Waiting for you?” He said, scoffing. “We were supposed to leave 20 minutes ago, Giana.”

I pause, a confused face starting to form while I just stare blankly at James and wait for him to tell me what’s going on. He lets out a sigh and says “We’re all going to the beach? It was your idea, said something about shark spotting or shark swimming.” Then it clicked!! There’s a place on the beach by a secluded cliff where you can see and swim with nurse and leopard sharks, so of course, my face lit up almost in a second as I giggled and ran to my room to get ready as fast as possible. I could hear James’ footsteps getting closer to my room as I tried to do my skincare, hair, and get my shit together so we could just go. “Someone’s excited,” he said with a slight smile. I try so hard to be nice to him but everything he says just makes me want to blow my brains out.

“Get out of my room.”

“I’m not in your room?” He was leaning against my dresser? So, yes, he was?

“I have to get changed, get OUT.” He stood there with a smug smile on his stupid face. “What do you want? You’re not allowed to borrow shirts anymore after you stained my Scorpions shirt.”

“I don’t wanna borrow shit, can’t I just stand here?” He wanted something, I just couldn’t figure it out. 

“Is your life goal to annoy me?” 

“Oh, of course it is, Giana. And I'm never gonna stop.” God, that fucking man makes me want to bash his guitar right over her head. Sorry. 

“Alriiiight, I’ll just change in my bathroom since you wanna be a fucking creep,” I said while making my way over to my bathroom, I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my skull as I closed the door. Like, 5 minutes went by and I was finishing up putting my bathing suit on, some short-sleeved compressed bathing suit top and bikini bottoms, and I could hear James fidgeting around with shit in my room. I opened the door and saw him trying on my rings? 

“Can you put them down and stop invading my privacy more than normal?” 

“What are you talking about, Giana? You said I could try your stuff on, do you not remember?” I think he’s sarcastically gaslighting me?

“Okay, shut up and get out now,” I grabbed his shirt collar and started to pull him out of my room. He turned around and latched himself in between my door frame, and  with a big grin on his face, he said “Giana, if you wanted an excuse to get your hands on me, you could’ve just said so. You know I wouldn't say no, pretty girl.” 

“Will you say no if I ask you to shut up or die?”

“Fuck off,” he said while rolling his eyes and walking away, finally. I finished getting ready shortly after and walked into the living room, the tote bags were gone and so were James and Dave; I swear I thought they ditched me til I heard a car horn and Tori yelling “Giana!! Hurry up, we’re losing daylight!!” I rushed downstairs and out to the car, and to my surprise was James leaning on the drivers’ side of my car. I walked over and nudged him, kind of a subtle hint for him to move it.

“Quit it, Gia, I’m driving.” He said, annoyed. 

“Like fuck you are, get off my car, Hetfield.” There’s no way he’s driving my car?? He roughly but not painfully grabbed my arm and said “Like fuck I am. Tori doesn’t trust you driving with someone else in the car at more than 55 miles an hour, especially me, so you’re stuck in the passenger seat, puerquito.” Ever since Jasmine and I met, he’s picked up on some Spanish from eavesdropping on us, and ever since he found out that puerquito means “little pig” in Spanish, he’s been calling me it for months because apparently, I make a mess and defile everywhere I go like a pig. How sweet. 

“Dear God, there’s no way you’re dri-”

“Save it because I am,” he said with the biiiiigest and most obnoxious smile on his face. 

“Do I at least get to pick the music?” I said, hoping I would since I’m not trusted in my own car. 

“Yeah, ‘course. I brought your guitar if you wanna play along too, even if you suck.”

“Okay, asshole, I do not suck?”

“Right, right, I forgot, you swallow.” Face went blank, no one laughed, and I swear I hate him more every second. Before I could respond, Tori yelled at us both to get in the car so we could finally leave. And if I forgot to mention, James is by far the most insufferable person in a car, and even more so when he’s the one driving. He pretends to not pay attention to freak me out, he messes with the stereo, he sometimes misses the exit, he’s just all-around someone you don’t want to be stuck in a car with for more than 10 minutes. And this place was an hour and a half away.

Roughly 30 minutes into the ride there, I’d conned him into listening to Hotel California by Eagles at least 5 times, specifically the cassette that my dad had made for me by using his old tape recorder so I could hear them play live since I wasn’t old enough to go. James tried to weasel his way into changing the tapes but all of my cassettes are stored under the passenger seat for safety when I lock the car at night. “Giana, I’d be on my hands and knees begging for you to change the song if I weren’t fucking driving right now. Just. Change. The. Tape.” I loved being able to aggravate him with no way for him to do anything, he does it all the time so why can’t I?

“Mmmmmm, wonderful offer honestly, but you didn’t even say please?” I playfully taunted him. He tilted his head at me while rolling his eyes, “Change the song, Gia. Please? I can’t take it anymore, both you and the song are giving me a headache, so would you be so kind as to change the song?” He smiled softly before letting out a sigh. 

“Since you asked so kindly, of course I can, James,” I flashed him a smile and went to change the tape, which was unknowingly to him, another Eagles tape.

“Thank you so so much, sweet girl.” Trying not to giggle. “You know how seriously I hate that-” before he could finish, Nightingale by Eagles began playing loudly and I started headbanging softly as soon as it started. “Oh, coooomeeee oooonnn. As if their music isn’t bad enough, you have to go and headbang to it?” 

“You’ll get over it,” I smiled and sang along to the lyrics. 

Finally, after what felt like ten million years, we made it to the spot. Everyone got there before us and since the cliff was a little more hidden, no one was there but us. Tori was rubbing sunscreen over Lars’ already red back, Jasmine was laying her towel down, Grace was off to the side setting up the stereo, Dave was sitting on the edge of the cliff and unaware that Cliff was about to kick him off in a millisecond (it’s not too high up, he’ll hopefully be fine…), and James sat our bags down under some shade of the tree hovering over this secluded little spot. I gave Grace my cassettes and I went back over to quickly get my shoes and cover-up off. Just as I finished taking off my shirt, I turned around and James slammed right into me, his chin hitting my forehead; since I was close to the side-edge of the cliff, I would’ve fallen had he not grabbed my waist and pulled me away. He had a slight look of concern on his face, one hand around my waist, the other moving my bangs out of the way to see if there was a mark. It was all very… much. But a good much. “Shit, you’re bleeding a little. Does it hurt badly?”

“No, no, I’m fine, James-” he touched it and it stung, so as a human reaction, I winced. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he said while giggling a little. Tori, Jasmine, and Lars were all very obviously staring while James used his thumb to wipe off the blood, everyone else was just minding their own (which is what they should’ve been doing as well, those invasive little shits.). “What? What’s wrong?” He turned to look at what was making me hold back laughter, and saw them staring shamelessly. 

“Get a room, you gross gremlins,” Tori said, making Jasmine and Lars burst out laughing. 

“Oh, come on, guys. I was just trying to be-” 

“Save it, twink!” Jasmine said in instant rebuttal to James” attempt at defending his relatively flirty actions. 

We all laughed it off (except James) and moved on with our exciting day. After a few minutes, I went over to the edge of the cliff after everyone jumped off; Lars grabbed Tori and they dove in together, Dave failed an attempt at a cannonball, Cliff had to quietly convince Grace to join in since she was invested in a Vogue magazine and had her walkman on full blast, Jasmine did a run and jump, and all that was left was me and James. “You gonna go or you just gonna stand there and be a pussy?” James asked, teasingly.

“Ha ha,” I laughed sarcastically. “For your information, I’ve never cliff-dived before, so my bad if I’m a little nervous.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up and just go before I push you in.”

“Do not.”

“Then go.” I was debating whether I should let him or not since it would take me another 10 minutes of convincing to jump off a 30 foot cliff. It was a little laughable that this was my idea, but in my solid defense, I didn’t know it was this high. “Taking so much time to make a little jump off a little cliff, Miss Vázquez. Need my help?” He sarcastically asked while staring at me.

“No, no, I can d-”

“Tsk, tsk, tsk, took too long to answer, so you’re coming with me,” and my life flashed before my eyes as he wrapped his arms fully around me with full force and dove off the cliff with me. It’s easy and obvious to say that day was not quiet like I was anticipating, but in fact full of him getting on my nerves and not letting me have a moment of serenity. I fell asleep on the ride home while “Peaceful, Easy Feeling” by Eagles played quietly in the back.

working on the next chapter :)

guys i dont really know how to use tumblr, so if you have smthg to say, just go to my insta 😭!!

anonymously messaging me is useless and id rather just normally text 👍🏼

guys i lowk forgot tumblr existed... i also am not gonna write more of my dr fic cus tbh it's a lot of work to do that and keep my mind on scripting!! i will be posting shifting content on @/giazrealitiez!!

yeah that's it honestly

erm

idk how this works exactly but recently ive been fighting off this to start a "fanfic," so to speak, abt my metallica dr? so ive decided to get my ass to work 👻

im too scared to finish the face. the structure looks so good and cartoony but im so scared that drawing his face is gonna fuck it UP

!! introduction ༊*·˚

my name is giana, i'm puerto rican/italian (a no sabo but like a half sabo bc i understand more than i can speak), i have autism and adhd, and i'm 17, 18 in march!! some other things about me is that i cut my own hair, i have kind of a shorter version of james' hair in 89, you know, the shaved sides, but cooler; i do love editing, my editing acc is h3tluvvr on tiktok where i make cute n silly little edits of james, editing honestly is so fun for me and is a great way to pass the time (i have so many unfinished edits); i love wandering around whether it's neighborhoods or other towns, sometimes i get lost on the buses but that's just because i'm a girl!! im also obsessed with anything marine related, so sharks, whales, jellyfish, marine life conservation, but also crocodiles, alligators, snakes, rats, but NOT spiders, i have raging arachnophobia.

a very important thing about me is that i fully support palestine, so if you're neutral or on isr*als side, don't even bother following me.

└── •✧• ──┘

i got into shifting around the summer of 2022, my first dr being a stranger things where i was the byers boys' sister and my love interest was steve harrington. i still have that script but my main drs are my metallica dr, supernatural dr, and youtuber dr!! i also have a seinfeld dr, eagles/70s dr, and gnr dr (which is ironic because i hate gnr, i made it for slash...)!! i've attempted a couple times and got close like every time, but more recently i've been too out of it to really fully attempt, but it being a new year, i plan to change that!!

i'd do a dr introduction but the fic is literally based off my dr, me being my own oc (if that's the right word idk), and ik it might sound dumb to some people, but it's my dr and it's my fic!!

└── •✧• ──┘

okay guys.

so because the fan fic is literally my dr and i’m my own oc or whatever, should i add a photo of me or smthf? im sure most of you found me from my tiktok anyways 🧍🏻‍♀️

finally privated my likes! my deepest apologies to those (such as my best friends) who saw them 😕 im like a grandma when it comes to anything not insta or tiktok related, i can barely use snap its bad guys anyways no more exposing myself!

hi guys…

sorry for falling off the face of the earth again 😞 ive been super swamped with end-of-trimester exams and work, so i havent really been on here but i occasionally get an anon message and i recently got one from someone who claims to be a friend? ANYWAYS! i’m working on chapt. 2 of my fic :33 it’s definitely a work in progress and i haven’t the slightest idea what to write since i now dony feel like basing it entirely off my dr bc idk whats gonna happen like detail wise? so you guys can give me ideas or suggestions!! on here or on my insta (@coollc4t) or tiktok (@shiftingwithgiada)!!

so yeah thats it 🕺🏻🪇

Omg Metallica shifter??-🦷🎀

yes!! i started shifting last summer and realized i could shift anywhere so why not to the 80s to be with my favorite band? i was originally shifting for kirk but smthg clicked and i just fell so hard for james in august so here we are...