A Quick, Sloppy Little Comic About Magritte

Notice: not only do your friends actually like you, they secretly like you twice as much as they let on

around when I first started dating my boyfriend i bought myself this novelty blanket that looks like a photorealistic tortilla because I am SUCH A SUCKER for novelty shit. when he saw it in person for the first time his eyes lit up, which should have been a warning sign for the indignities to come.

so he’s a first responder and his day shifts start obnoxiously early as far as I, a pampered corporate asshole, am concerned. almost invariably when he’s at my place there will be an alarm at an hour that is downright unconscionable that will make him wake up and roll out of bed to get ready and will simultaneously make me burrow under the pillows grumbling about how surely nobody actually NEEDS their lives saved this early in the morning, after which I will promptly attempt to go back to sleep

he is a clever man and he knows this is when i am most vulnerable to attack.

every single time we do this dance, he quietly dresses, packs up, goes about getting ready to leave, and then when i have juuuust fallen back asleep, he returns with the tortilla blanket. He finds it no matter where I have hidden it.

He then creeps silently up to my side of the bed and uses his superior speed, strength, and reflexes to wrap me up in it incredibly tightly while i am still dazed and sputtering, so that i cannot move my legs or arms and am reduced to humiliating halfhearted magikarp flops that do not deter him from at least attempting to kiss my forehead.

then he goes to my bedroom door, opens it, then pauses, turns around, looks at me, the soft human filling of the facsimile of an enormous burrito he has just constructed, and says in his best romantic lead voice “I’ll see you soon, beans.”

you cannot understand how devastating it is to my ego that i am beans.

Wow everyone is going through it. Hold my hand

*plants mint directly in your dash* heehee :3

May Sarton, The House by the Sea: A Journal

Kim Kitsuragi shitpost voicelines!

Please see end of post if you want to use these!

Submitted by you, voted for by you, I'd like to present the voicelines you were just dying to hear being said by Kim - dutifully performed by the brilliant Jullian Champenois.

In 10th place,

How did we get here? We walked, believe it or not. You were not entirely lucid.

In 9th place,

I want to have fuck with you.

In 8th place, Normal people, when they go down a slide - they're fine.

Submission idea attributed to this post.

In 7th place, No, detective, I do not just want to go apeshit.

Submitted by bowyooo. In 6th place, Apartment complex? I find it quite simple.

Submitted by elelei. In 5th place, Officer, what the fuck was that?

In 4th place, Trans rights are human rights, detective. Obviously.

In 3rd place, Do I like men? Man is a hopeless creature. I don't like much of anyone. ...Oh, if you meant sexually, then, yes.

In 2nd place,

Detective, Instead of worrying about appearing 'submissive and breedable', please make sure your paperwork is submitted and readable.

Submitted by scrollingdown. And finally, in 1st place, the voice line you all wanted to hear so so badly is...

I'm da king of da highway.

Usage

You are welcome and encouraged to use these for memes, shitposts, and other foolish fan content on social media. When you do, please include credit to Jullian Champenois. You can also include a link to his website, tag him on Instagram/Twitter (@julliannailluj), or mention his Youtube channel according to the content you make. Commercial content of any kind - ads, promoted videos, etc - is explicitly forbidden by these usage terms. Anything of this sort will require specific permission by Jullian. Please don't fuck around we love him. That's it! Thank you everyone for participating, reading, and enjoying this silly little project.

I wonder if my friends know what they are for me.

reblog this to place a small, rotund ceramic animal in the palm of the person you reblogged it from

Here’s a fanart commissioned by my friend! He’s my friend’s ingame Dofus character. :D

yall ever refuse to consume a piece of media you Know youd like solely bc you think itd make you feel more emotions than you want to