Fyi I Do Not “crush” I Experience Violent, All-consuming Devotion And Yearning That Leaves Me Physically

Me: *complaining about the loss of the muppets on a large scale*

Mom: *sends me a picture of a crochet hat that looks like a muppet*

Me: *starts crocheting puppets to fill a void in my heart*

I need to somehow incorporate polyamorous ducklings into at least one of the three Hilson WIPs I have going rn (two of them would arguably be difficult to work in due to the timeline)

Very much into hilson fanfics where the og ducklings are just casually in a polyamorous relationship in the background bc it shows how completely fucked up hilson is

"let men be friends" no they have to fuck each other raw

Use tumblr like a diary, paper and ink costs money but going to your local library and using their internet is free

quit your job. you need to spend more time making posts that are a little too honest and personal & potentially embarassing yourself on tumblr

hey so fuck you actually, i know you hate youself and stuff but i’m actually in love with you and everything will feel better if i kiss you on the lips

source: trust me bro

“Jet skis are a gift from god” my good man what the FUCK does that mean????? Are you a cocaine dealer???? Can I have some????

I know absolutely fuck all nothing about severance but “cocky want boing boing” is so fucking diabolical combined with the selfie

Killing myself is not enough

I’m yearning. Someone sedate me pls

House MD fic where Wilson is taking care of house while’s he’s sick (awe) and then he randomly gives house a handjob (huh)

When you’re in the middle of a fic and realise you’ve missed a very critical tag

daily affirmations

i am the unkillable faggot

i can exist in grocery stores

i have the shittiest music taste in any room

i have a gun