Rewatching Lotr, And Rewatched The Hobbit Trilogy Like 2 Weeks Ago, And I Must Say. I Love This Franchise

Movie only fans lose out on the narration calling Thorin “important”, “enormously important”, so many times that it reads like ribbing when the book repeatedly humbles him. More Bilbo sarcastically calling Thorin “important” in Bagginshield fics, please!

The Hobbit, but when dwarves and Gandalf persuade Bilbo to come with them it’s The Other Side from The Greatest Showman

Daeron pouting in Doriath | Second Age locations | Maedhros

Small child Fili is insistent on sleeping with his knife collection at night and has even taken to sneaking them under his pillows and Dis and Thorin are at their wits end bc he keeps nicking himself in his sleep and whats more Kili will outgrow his crib soon and need to share Fili’s bed and knives added to the mix is just a disaster waiting to happen. They try to coax Fili and get him to leave his knives on the nightstand (“look, you can still see them right there, ok dear?”) but nothing works and he’s a shrieking mess and wont go to sleep for ANYTHING but his knives.

Everyone is at their wit’s end when its Dwalin who comes up with a solution: using his sewing skills (which are actually pretty good, even Dori thinks so) he fashions a bean-filled doll that resembles the knife Fili’s father gave him (the prize of Fili’s collection, naturally) and gives it to the lad. Everyone holds their breath and thinks its not gonna work but Fili is over the moon and the doll is his new best friend (after Kili of course).

He takes it everywhere and tries to feed it soup at dinner and of course he sleeps with it, being extra careful to keep his collection on the nightstand so his doll doesn’t get hurt. He names it Zugragur (khuzdul constructed diminutive of blade, so like “Bladey”) and he still has it to this day

aragorn needs to be 10x weirder in all tolkien content. he’s too manly for elves. he’s too elvish for men. he roleplayed his crush’s grandpa, and then married her even though they were kinda siblings by adoption. he deals with his feelings by singing. he’s a horse girl. he was raised by elrond peredhel. he had the weight of the world placed on his shoulders when he was still an emo teen. everywhere he goes people think he’s lowkey a freak. let him own it.

need to share it with you cause it’s canon

Every duo be like : an ice cube on legs, and a volcano

Some of y’all are not appreciating Bilbo Baggins enough. I am here to remedy that. This guy has:

• somehow managed to establish himself as a respectable, staid hobbit by the time he was fifty, despite being both a grandson of Bullroarer Took and the Shire champion of pretty much every aiming-game known to hobbitkind

• had an in-depth debate on pleasantries with a random guy passing by in the street, who turned out to be GANDALF

• collapsed in front of his own fire shaking and muttering “struck by lightning” over and over again in response to hearing about dragons and danger

• mind you, this was after he screamed loud enough to startle a roomful of Dwarves

• signed up for a dangerous quest completely outside of his league out of spite

• when told to scout out a mysterious light, saw some trolls, and instead of reporting back with the information, decided to PICK THE TROLLS POCKET

• arrived in Rivendell for the first time and said it “smelled like elves”

• upon meeting a strange creature that visibly wanted to eat him, he decided to play a riddle game with him- and guessed pretty much every one, and made up his own riddles, afraid and alone, that not only were good and full of linguistic puns, but actually stumped the other guy- AND THEN CHEATED AND WON WITH A QUESTION

• showed mercy to said strange creature who wanted to kill him, and was now standing between him and freedom

• eavesdropped on the dwarves arguing over whether to try to save him, then popped up casually smack in the middle of them just as they were debating

• somehow managed to sleep like a log at the really really high eyrie full of wild predators

• found himself in a bad situation, said eff it, and turned around and antagonized and fought off an insane amount of man eating spiders, like enough of them that fifty was a small portion, by singing at them with incredibly complex and punny insulting songs composed on the spot, while simultaneously slaying them in multitudes despite having zero combat training. Seriously, we don’t discuss enough how epic the spider scene is.

• broke a company of dwarves out of the very secure prison of the Elvenking by inventing white water rafting with barrels

• charmed his way out of being eaten by a dragon

• stole the frickin Arkenstone from the guys who employed him, one of whom was a king

• took part in an epic battle, only to be knocked out in the first ten minutes and miss the entire thing

• was named elf-friend by the guy who’s prisoners he sprung

• wrote his own autobiography, complete with all the narrative recognition of his own heroics

• spent 60 years writing said autobiography

• taught his lower class neighbor’s kid how to read

• taught his nephew Elvish- not only Sindarin, but Quenya too

• spent decades telling his cousins his own story as fairy tales, complete with character impressions accurate enough that one of them was able to fool a servant of the Enemy with a second hand impression

• used the One Ring of Power to hide from his neighbors

• planned an elaborate feast with multiple social faux pas to mess with his neighbors, complete with a purposefully bewildering speech and culminating in him vanishing into thin air in front of everyone

• left his cousins and neighbors very unsubtle passive aggressive gifts in his will

• settled into Rivendell, randomly befriended the heir to the throne of like half of Middle Earth, and apparently spent his time writing very personal poems about his hosts and reciting them to crowds of elves

• after being invited to a Council of basically every major kingdom in the continent, spent a quarter of the time reciting vague poems about his friends, a quarter of the time telling anyone who would listen about his heroic past, and half the time interrupting to ask when lunch would be

• volunteered to bring the ring to Mordor

• became one of only four or five mortals in history to live in Valinor

Seriously, Bilbo Baggins may well be the most chaotic, insane person in the entire legendarium, and that includes the likes of people like Finrod “bit a werewolf to death to save the life of guy who he just met and gave up his kingdom for” Felagund.