Who You Should Fight: Marching Band Edition

Who You Should Fight: Marching Band Edition

piccolo

who wins: them

don’t do it.  don’t fight the piccolo player.  just don’t.

flute

who wins: them

they were told you were challenging them for first chair. run while you still can.

clarinet

who wins: them

threaten you with their register key.  forfeit for the sake of all.

saxophone

who wins: them

you are promptly deemed a “nerd” and stuffed in a band locker by the entire section even though you only wanted to fight one of them.

low reeds

who wins: no one

 you yell increasingly bad sexual innuendos at each other across the band room for twenty minutes until you both get tired and go home.

mellophone

who wins: them

punches you in the face repeatedly on the offbeats of a sousa march playing in the background.

trumpet

who wins: you and then them

you win the fight easily while they’re giving their villainous monologue.  entire trumpet section later jumps you in a dark hallway for disgracing one of their own.

trombone

who wins: no one

they get distracted halfway through the fight and wander off.

low brass

who wins: them

you mock them by making farting noises with your lips.  they punch you in the stomach with their abnormally strong arms.  you can’t breath properly for days.

pit percussion

who wins: you

pretend like you can’t tell the vibes, marimba, and xylophone apart.  wait until they’re blind with rage, then run them over with the closest wheeled pit equipment.

drumline

who wins: them

show up to the fight with a shank fashioned out of a broken drum stick.  proceed to kick ass.

drum major

who wins: them

calls you to attention (you can’t disobey!) and then waits until you faint from exhaustion.

color guard

who wins: them

have you ever watched one of these fuckers on the field?  you’re screwed.

band director

who wins: them

just when you think you’ve won, they get up smiling and say “one more time!”

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6 years ago

All Might: You don't want Midoriya to break his bones.

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All Might: So now we gotta make sure Midoriya doesn't want Midoriya to break his bones.

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6 years ago
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Virgil: When Patton dies, he wants to be turned into a coral reef

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5 years ago

bi culture by The Bi Squad

aviators

leather jackets

denim jackets

striped t-shirts

cuffed jeans

combat boots

rubber band bracelets

flannels

tucking flowers behind your ear

cherries and mangoes

trying to look gay enough that people of the same gender will notice you, but not so gay that people of the opposite gender won’t

blanket capes

being both a wine mom and a vodka aunt

doctor who

bagels (or bi-gels)

piercings & tattoos

birds

wearing mismatched socks whilst also hating socks

french tucks

DC’s Robin

using to many exclamation points, repeating the last letter of wordssss, and using to many commas,,,,,

actually just having terrible grammar is bi culture

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keysmashing

overalls/dungarees

6 years ago
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5 years ago

Bisexual Culture is:

Wearing a shirt with rolled sleeves over your actual shirt even though it’s too hot outside.

Wearing bracelets.

Tucking one side of your hair behind your ear.

Having too many jackets.

Wanting more pockets.

Shoving everything into your bag even though it’s already full.

Using too many punctuation marks on a sentence.

Keysmashing.

Taping posters to your bedroom walls.

Stickers.

Pins.

Calling ugly animals cute.

Wanting to paint your nails even though you know they’ll get chipped within five minutes.

Forgetting anything and everything.

Losing your stuff. All. The. Time.

Wanting to wear tight/form fitting pants but knowing it’s too hot and you’ll have to peel them off later.

Wanting to wear hoodies all the time but it’s too hot.

Iced coffee.

Cross body bags.

Painting.

Changing your profile pic every week.

Puns.

Awkward conversations.

Awkward sitting.

Awkward standing.

Just. Awkward everything.

6 years ago
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