To Be Fair, Those Are Plaits (or Braids Is You Prefer That Term). Maybe He’s Trying Out A New Way To

Has my brain stopped working?

I can’t find the ‘ilke’ button on many pages.... I can’t find it on my page. And when I look up how to add the like and reblog buttons, I get very technical answers that I don’t know how to put into practice.

He’d be perfect as a Ringbearer though, I can’t see the One Ring making too much progress in corrupting Sportacus, it’d likely think it was tripping or something while he holds it, and as soon as someone else gets the ring, the thing is “Sportscandy! No, no, wait... POWER! Yeah, that’s it. (Oh man, what was I doing last night?! Gotta lay off on the metal polish. Ugh, I'm a ring, I shouldn't even be able to get a headache.)"

Ever since I found out that the reason Sportacus’ hat is usually awkwardly pulled down to cover the tips of his ears is that he’s canonically an elf impersonating a human, I can’t help but picture him just showing up in various scenes/locales from the Lord of the Rings movies.

Can you imagine?

Sportacus at the Council of Elrond

Sportacus at the Battle of Helm’s Deep.

Sportacus in the court of Thranduil.

Well it can’t be called an FAQ...

More a combination of OAQ, possibly RAQ and ANAQ...

Occasionally Asked Question, Rarely Asked Question and Almost Never Asked Question.

Rare/Occasional: Gnarynhar?

Well, my preferred handle of Thordis is usually taken. Most people then go for adding a number, but, I just don’t like that, I need something I can resonate to, and a number just doesn’t work for me. I have sometimes used AusThordis, but that feels like too much work.

And Gnarynhar is easier?!

Well, no. (It is one letter shorter though!) And it’s a couple of noises of frustration put together, slightly altered and put into letters, but it’s something I made myself, so the resonance I want is there. Usually shortened to Gnar or Gnary by others,,,, it is a bit of a mess to type, I know. The ‘G’ is, well sort of silent, it’s there to twist your mouth as you pronounce the ‘n’ to get the right sound. Nyarr-nn-haarr.

Not easy to spell, not easy to remember, not even my first choice. But it’s mine, and... at least it’s never taken.

Almost Never: Professional Crazy?

I am on a disability support pension, heck I qualified for it back when I was, frankly, better than I am right now. I reason it out thusly: I am crazy. I get money for being crazy. Therefore I am a professional crazy.

My psychiatrist has said I’m not crazy, and I’m not saying having OCD = being crazy. In the end, it’s how I choose to self identify. Read Mara Wilson's article on OCD on Cracked.com Point 2 is where this comes into play.

Looking back into my childhood before the OCD developed, I can see at least one thing I did and say “Yeah, that was OCD right there.” But beyond that, I was always that extra bit different from other kids my age. Hitting (and mostly finishing puberty in primary school rather than in high school like everyone else also contributed to some of my quirks.)

Also, I seem to approach some things differently than most people. I took psychology as an elective in high school, and when I left high school, in the adult ed classes I took as an alternative. I’d be saying something in class, and the teacher was always cutting me off, saying I was off topic.

As far as I was concerned I was on topic, she just never let me finish, so I could show what I was saying did tie into the discussion. I was just approaching things from such an oblique angle, no-one saw the connection I was trying to make.

Plus my social skills were never the best, and towards the end of primary school I was starting to isolate myself. Then in high school, well my friends all went to a different school, and I was left with a combination of people I knew from primary school and didn’t get along with, mixed with strangers that mostly wanted to pick on me. I didn’t have friends in high school, I had acquaintances that occasionally weren’t interested in making my life hell.

So what little social skills I had atrophied, and as I moved closer and closer to my current housebound state, they withered even further. I see myself not only as an introvert, but shy. And for many years I really was. My classmates in TAFE did not see things the same way. But that’s because if I do feel comfortable enough to start a conversation, I tend to verbally hold people down and talk at them until they run away or beg for mercy.

Social interaction is important, Terry Pratchett put it something like “people need to be bounced around by the Brownian motion of society”. I, barely even watch tv anymore.

Roping that tangent back to it’s origin of crazy. It’s also a shorthand I use with my family. Anything related back to my OCD, requests, restrictions, explanations, instead of a long, frustrating explanation they know they’ll never fully ‘get’, it’s easier to just say “It’s a crazy thing.” and move on.

Sometimes it’s more of a discussion, with them offering suggestions, most of the time, I’ve already considered what’s been brought up. Other times, they can add that little piece I’m missing.... for a problem that by all rights shouldn’t exist. -I feel ‘crazy’ is an apt term.

I start with a simple question, and I produce another stream-of-consciousness wall-of-text attack. At least I paragraph it? ....time to look up how to put this under a cut.

My feelings on the Fallout 4 trailer.

Okay coming late to the party here, but then, that sums up my relationship with games for the most part.

Promo: It's Fallout 4!

Me: Ooh neat, I've been having a lot of fun with Fallout 3, what's this one about?

Promo: It's Fallout 4!

Me: Yeah, but what is it abou.. Promo: Fallout 4! Look! Dog!

Me: Hey, great looking animation on the dog. I never used the dog, I can't stand dogs getting hurt, even in video games, I took the Animal Friend perk just so wouldn't have to hurt the wild dogs. So anyway, what's the game about?

Promo: It's Fallout 4!

Me: Ah, that's all pre-rendered stuff, I'm with Yahtzee on this one, that doesn't count. Nice looking locations, but what's the gameplay like?

Promo: It's Fallout 4! Vault 111!

Me: So is this still in the Washigton area? Does the story tie in with the events of Fallout 3? Is it set sometime after? Before? During, but in another place? Are you going to give me anything?

Promo: It's Fallout 4!

Me: Yeah, but what's the storyline? What's the starting goal of the game? Hell, what's the gameplay like? I’m not going to drop my cash on a name and some pre-rendered graphics that tell me nothing about the product.

Promo: It's Fallout 4!

Me: Oh fuck this.

Promo: It’s Fallout 4! Pre-order now!

Falling down The Kamen Rider hole.

I watched a random compilation vid of henshin sequences for most of the Kamen Rider shows (being Youtube, the top comment of course was “I like the bit where they say henshin.”) and well, I did want something different to watch.

I started off with Kamen Rider W, since a review recommended it as a good starting series, and I was pretty much shipping Phidari before I even saw an episode.

Also, Suda Masaki is omfgsodamnkawaii and I am just under the wire as far the Standard Creepy Rule goes. Although it’s more of a puppy crush, as in- I view him in a very similar way as I would an adorable puppy. Yes, I kinda want to mash his head into my boobs, but not in a sexual way. I have all these feelings that I don't know how to process properly. In the meantime.... so cute!

Then I started on a bit of Den-O because I liked the sword form henshin jingle. And Satoh-san, so impressed how he portrays multiple characters. I know it’s all in collaboration with the suit actors, still that’s a lot of work. Plus there’s the dancing, (and I love how Ryutaros’s special power is being able to summon backup dancers and create flash-mobs) and you did all that whilst sick? Damn.

And then.... well turns out I’m a bit too ADD to binge watch a series. Heck as kid, I was usually in the process of reading two to three different novels at any given time. Given that, might as well check out another series.

Wowowowowow Four-ze! Wowowowow Fun, ne? Man is Gen-chan tall or what? Love the interaction with Shoutaro in the movie, Taro club away! JK looks like a live-action version of Zaou Ryuu. I need more screen-time to determine do I love him for him or for his resemblance to my fave anime man-hoe?

Also, Kamen Rider Meteor-  love the disco henshin theme.... is that small blast all there is? I can’t find it on Youtube. I can find a ten-minute loop of Shabadoobie touchie henshin (and why haven’t more people made that into a remix?! I sought out the loop because: 1: So catchy & 2: my brain was demanding "More!!! the henshin sequence isn’t long enough!”) So yeah, more disco please.

Got further through Fourze before oversaturation hit. Well, looking through the Kamen Rider wiki (I needed a guide for who the heck these other riders are that keep showing up in the fanfics) and since Heisei Phase 2 has the characters I’m seeing most, I’m focusing on that for now.

So what next? For some reason I’m still hesitating on OOO, and I don’t think I’m quite ready for Gaim. Zi-O? I’m waiting for the right fanfic to fix the time-rewriting first (Seriously, you try to take my フィリップ  away and I will fucking cut you.) Maybe it’s just the fic, but Build looks a little too emotionally heavy at the moment.

Okay then, Ex-Aid.

Episode 1: I know these shows are marketing toys to kids, but holy crap guys, slow down. (Plus, the 90′s called- they want their colour scheme back.) Still, this looks- aptly enough- to be what the doctor ordered.

Episode 2: Love the op theme. Kagami Hiiro-sensei? You are being such a dick right now. Will someone smack this idiot over the head ... WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! IF YOU’RE ALL “SAVING THE PATIENT IS ALL THAT MATTERS”, THEN WHY ARE YOU DUELING INSTEAD ON FOCUSING ON SAVING THE PATIENT’S LIFE?! Someone grab this boy and give him an priority adjustment and ego-ectomy stat.

Episode 3: Why wasn’t Tagia given counseling? Proper intervention and maybe you wouldn’t have flushed a medical career down the toilet. So he got hooked on gaming and put it before medicine. You assholes gave him the driver and gashat in the first place. The game was implied to be faulty, (or at least, that’s the impression I got) meaning he was essentially given a mind-altering substance, had his priorities warped as a result and it lead to him loosing a patient.

So for that he got booted out the door, with the lack of a medical license now making him an unskilled laborer with an addiction problem. Of course he’s back and looking for a fix. (Are they gonna redeem this guy? Hope so.  BTW? Love the hair, dude.)

Episode 4: “There’s no point if you don’t ride me.” Excuse me while I pause the episode and giggle for a while.

Ah, Ex-Aid, I think I’m going to like you.

Flashback time: In the analog days, most girls when they hit those teen years moved onto trashy romance novels. I, as what I believe they are now calling “Xennials”, was still stuck on sci-fi novels during the switch-over and by the time I was interested in such fiction, well I went right to slashfic. (Remember mailing lists?) Joined my first (and only) slash-list at 16. Despite the reigning 18+ rule, I was honest about my age and they let me in anyway. (Perhaps if only to keep an eye on me.) Then mailing lists kind of died off and it was onto web archives.

And that’s when I paused the ep and logged on to type this up. There’s a certain point in people’s lives, where to some degree, they mentally stop aging. On the whole, a lot of the time, I’m pretty much still 16 (Probably a good thing, apparently my mother’s still only 25.) randomly touring though my early 20′s and occasionally re-visiting being 7. Actually when I was in my teens, I think I was time-travelling on occasion to what might very much turn out to be my 70′s (”In my day....:)

Where was I? Oh- “There’s no point if you don’t ride me.” Said the tanned guy in the leather jacket to the clumsy naive young twink of a doctor. You can’t put that in front of me and not have me shed at least 10 years worth of maturity.

(Actually, lemme just check the fic count on this pairing.... ) Still kinda want to pair Emu and Parad, but I have got to start to try watching shows before I start paring off the characters.

Okay, let’s post something.

The Longest Journey. The first game I stopped playing because I couldn’t stand the main character.

Obtuse puzzles, slow movement speed, pointless areas that only serve to extend the playtime. Please, I’ve played King’s Quest III before Australia had the internet and the benefit of internet walkthroughs. I can handle clunky. What I can’t handle is playing a character with nothing resembling coherent thought.

So the game opens in a strange fantasy setting, cliffs, a talking tree, then a dragon. Then the main character wakes up. She’s an art student, but she has no inspiration. .... Bitch, you just had an apparently recurring dream  set in a fantasy land with a sweeping vista- PAINT THAT, a big head acting as the spirit of a tree PAINT THAT, and a freaking *dragon* PAINT THAT.

Okay, we’re in her bedroom in a boarding house. Small, cramped, but there is a view of a canal out the window PAINT THAT. We get dressed and head out- a somewhat run-down area that used to be a manufacturing area, all canals and strange collections of pipes PAINT THAT, the small cafe where she works PAINT THAT, with a mysterious door nearby that she wonders what’s behind it, SPECULATE SOMETHING AND PAINT THAT, and another odd collection of pipes with an unknown purpose behind them PAINT THAT.

Oh, gotta get that ring she lost back so she can use it to fix some mysterious machine outside the building. PAINT THAT. Eh, fuck it, can’t figure it out right now.

But really, we need to head to the art school and work on her painting, there’s an exhibition coming up that she has to submit a painting to, and she’s barely painted anything. Let’s go past the subway entrance with a guy sleeping on a bench PAINT THAT, through the park PAINT THAT with a large bridge arching overhead PAINT THAT, to the art academy.

There’s a guy inside, painting. She envies him because he seems to knock out a painting every day. (You know why? BECAUSE HE PAINTS!) And work on our painting for the exhibition (not that the player sees it) for ..... well there’s no indication how long, an hour or two at most, before she gives up and any further attempt to have her keep painting has her refusing to work on it because she’s not feeling it or something.

Anyway, let’s talk to the possibly homeless guy that just sits around on the bench outside her boarding house. He seems to know something about her dreams. The dreams of a fantasy otherland that she could paint, but doesn’t because.... apparently unless a fucking angel descends in a light show, says it’s her muse and decrees “here is what you shall paint” it doesn’t count as inspiration.

Anyway, enough of that, it’s a choice of an evening in watching tv, or heading out to the cafe with a friend. Either way, part of the fantasy world will cross over into the real world, that everyone can see, but that doesn’t count as inspiration either.

Anyway, the next day homeless guy is gone, but he’s left a message that she should meet him. Where? Well he only left a cryptic clue, not a location, so you know what, fuck him. That exhibition is coming up soon, and she needs to finish her painting. Oh wait no, I’ve gotten her to the canvas but she refuses to touch it, she’s just not feeling it.

Hey, you know that guy you envy, that produces a painting every day? You know how he manages it? BECAUSE HE FUCKING PAINTS. He doesn’t wait for a mystical muse, he picks something to paint and paints. But instead, let’s run all around town trying to figure out where homeless guy is. After all, he vaguely hinted he knows something about her dream, and really needs to talk to her, but can’t do it on the bench right outside her boarding house where he spends most of his time, it has to be at ..... well she doesn’t know where, but the message she got was that he wanted to talk to her and a cryptic clue to his location. Just tell her to meet him somewhere, or tell the person he’s left the message with where you should go. Oh, message guy? Don’t bother tracking down the person and giving them the message. Don’t even mention me when you see her. Wait until she brings me up in conversation, *then* pass along my vague “I need to talk to you.”

So, as you can see- it’s worth running around questioning everyone she knows to try and figure out where he is. After all it’s not like she has anything better to do. Like, say, finish a painting for an exhibition she’s signed up for. After all, it’s not like she’s an art student that left her small hometown to move to the city just to attend this art school. ...oh wait.

But anyway, let’s run around searching for clues. Ah, got one. He *might* be at an art exhibition of children’s paintings. Oh, we need to take the subway to get there and she has no money. Sure you don’t want to work on your painting? You did move out here to pursue your dreams of becoming an artist, and you need to work on your skills, finish a painting for that exhibition, it is your future we’re talking about here.

No? “Not feeling it” still, okay, let’s talk chase up the owner of the cafe you work at for your wages so you can buy a subway pass and go gallivanting across the city to find some homeless guy that “needs to talk to you” and you have to meet somewhere, but he can’t be bothered to tell you just where.

Okay, got some money. Oh wait, there’s a big key lying on the electrified rails. Fucking *want*! Gotta run around and find stuff to allow us to grab it, which for some reason involves fixing the whatever the hell it is outside the boarding house. Something to do with hot water? You don’t know. Sure you don’t want to work on your painting? Of course you don’t

Okay, key gotten, time for a ride on the subway. We finally find homeless jackoff at an art exhibition, lucky we scored a free ticket, or we would have had to spend even more cash just to talk to this guy.

“I need to to talk to you starving art student. It’s *super* important, here’s a vague clue to where I’ll be, no I won’t just tell you where- this is *important* ...and bring cash, because it’s 20 bucks to talk to me.” Asshole.

Anyway, we’ve found jackoff, and he rambles some vague metaphorical bullshit at us. He’ll tell us more, but tomorrow.

The next day. Ok, instead of the life of an art student, it’s time to hunt down a cryptic homeless guy. The fate of the world just may depend upon it ...possibly, *somehow*, but the fate of the world isn’t important enough that he’ll tell you where to meet him.

Oh no, the only one that might know where homeless jackoff might be, is the slimy guy you hate that also lives in the boarding house. And he’s not going to tell you shit unless you agree to go on a date with him.

So, agree to go on a date with this slime that wants to get into your pants, so you can learn the location of a homeless guy that really wants to talk to you, but can’t be bothered to let you know where he is. Sure, you’re an art student with a painting to finish, but this guy who keeps spouting bullshit at you just *might* know something about a recoccurring dream you’ve been having. That’s worth selling your body for instead of working towards the career you’ve been working towards, right?

Okay, across the city to talk to the cryptic jackoff. He’s in a cinema in the city. The cinema.... is closed. And there’s an employee out front telling you it’s closed, and a cop standing around watching the area.

Can I go back to the start here? Let’s see, I’m controlling the main character. She’s an art student, that complains she has no inspiration despite the fantastical dreams she keeps having every night, and the city around her, filled with mysterious relics of the area’s manufacturing past.

She left her small hometown to come to the city just to attend this art school, because she wants to be an artist. But she’ll do anything to avoid painting. She envies the student that can produce a new painting every single day, but she’s not going to say, talk to him to get advice, or follow his example and keep working on her painting. Yeah, she *needs* to finish just this one, for an upcoming exhibition. But she’s just not “feeling it”.

Instead, oh this possibly homeless stranger she strikes up a conversation with somehow knows about her dreams. Sure it’s creepy that he knows about them, won’t say how he knows and keeps spouting mysterious bullshit, and keeps leaving messages with your friends that he really needs to talk to you, then disappears off who knows where, despite previously doing nothing but sit around on the one bench *right outside the place you live*, but you’ve got nothing better to do instead of chasing him down.

Now, what would *you* do in this situation? Work towards the career you’ve always wanted, or run around a city, talking to everyone you know to find the location of some creep that knows about your *dreams*, picking up a ton of random crap along the way, to fix things you’re not qualified to fix just so you can get to the *possible* location of the aforementioned creep, who leaves messages with your friends about he needs you to meet him in a place, but he’s not going to tell you where, so he can babble mysterious bullshit at you.

Now a real life person that wants to become an artist so much that they left home to attend an art academy, would push through a creative block. Because the only way to improve your skills is to practice those skills, and if they had a lack of ideas would talk to friends or a teacher for help. And if they had a single creative bone in their body, could easily see that dreams are inspiration, and that mysterious objects can serve as a jumping off point for creativity.

Also if someone knows just what you’ve been dreaming about without any reasonable way of knowing so, you’d find that creepy. And if they then kept disappearing when before they were known for consistently hanging around the same place, whilst telling your friends that they really need to talk to you- but never say *where* beyond a cryptic hint, would you run around trying to figure out where the homeless guy wandered off to, instead of working on that painting for the important exhibition with the rapidly approaching due date?

NO. You’d work on your artwork and avoid the unwashed creep that knows far too much about what goes on in your head at night.

But game protagonist, April Ryan. She’ll run around looking for clues to talk to creepy strangers, she’ll collect random crap and fool around with mysterious devices and electrified subway rails. She’ll work through long conversation trees with anyone who’s willing to talk to her. She’ll waste her money on a subway pass so she trek across the city to find a guy who won’t tell her where he is. She’ll poison a cop, and vandalize city property, all to distract a guy that’s stopping her from entering a CLOSED CINEMA that she *thinks* homeless guy is in.

She doesn’t know for sure, but a guy she knows said the asshole she hates might know, and the asshole said he’ll tell her, but only if she goes out on a date with him. Not that there’s any reason to trust this jerk that obviously only wants in her pants, or the homeless creep that she’s trying to find. But what else is an aspiring painter going to do? Paint? Nah.

So talking to the cinema employee, maybe we can ask him if homeless jackoff is inside? Oh, no she’s not going to do that. The slimy asshole that wants in her pants said jackoff is inside and that’s good enough for her! This employee guy is pretty dumb, so if we tell him we’re here to meet jackoff who’s waiting for us inside, he’d probably let us in, or at least confirm if jackoff is here or not.

No? Not going to do that either? Well how do we get in this place? Wait for tonight when it opens? Oh no, this is far too important to wait. Hmm, dumbass keeps fiddling with the sign, looks like some dodgy wiring. Oh hey, there’s an electrical box that’s obviously city property, if we break that, that might just distract dumbass over here. Or it might be for the streetlight or some traffic lights close by, but who’s got time to think about that?

No our main problem now is, there’s a cop hanging around, watching everything. We start breaking the law in front of him, we’re getting hauled off. What to do? Hmm, there’s a disgusting leaking trashcan here and oh! We have a piece of candy in our pocket. Let’s move the trashcan, dip the candy in the filth and then give the candy to the cop!

And tada! We have successfully poisoned the cop! Oh spitting out that crap you gave him made dumbass loose his shit at the cop. The cop’s left to go be sick, maybe go to the hospital. Sure that’s a criminal act, but hey, there’s a *chance* that this homeless jackoff we want to talk to may be inside, and you can’t vandalize city property in order to distract someone long enough to sneak into a closed cinema if the fuzz is watching. This is all common sense.

Okay, the cop’s gone with dumbass hot on his heels, left his hat too. Score! Okay, enter the cinema? Nope, we need to enter from the alleyway, and the gate into the alley is locked.

Well we did poison the cop so we could break public property, better get on with that. So, subway key opens up the electrical box, and cobbling together some of the random junk we’ve picked up will allow us to fuck with the workings.

And the marquee on the cinema is broken! And hey, here’s dumbass back, looks like you’ve got some work to do buddy! Not that it will fix the problem, but hey, he unlocked the gate when he went to grab is tools. Now we can sneak into the alley while he works on the sign.

Ah! Guy with gun, nope just some trash casting a shadow. How odd. Now into the cinema through the fire door. Shit, it’s locked, and setting of the fire alarm will bring dumbass running.

Hm, time to look at the crap we’re hauling around. Put the cop’s hat on the garbage, and presto, the shadow of a cop brandishing a gun. But we don’t want dumbass to look for more than a second.... Oh we have a toy monkey that shouts threats and demands you dance. Perfect! Now it’s arson time.

We open up a trashcan and start a garbage fire. Homeless jackoff would be proud. The alarm goes off and unlocks the door. Dumbass comes running, but monkey toy is screaming out that you must dance or he’ll cap you, and that stops him from looking at” the man with a gun” to realize it’s just the shadow of piled garbage.

Our criminal career off to a brilliant start, we slip into the cinema, hoping that slimy was telling the truth and jackoff really is in there. Oh hey, he is! Now he can ramble at us about old movies. Important.

Oh we’re going back out into the alley? Lucky break, the fire’s out and dumbass is gone. So what next? ....Homeless jackoff is apparently a magic homeless jackoff, we have a swirly portal here. Jackoff says get going, oh and when you land, hit up his buddy.

Woo! Portal time! Where does it go? What will happen to you April? You’re just a humble art student. Oh wait, you’d rather do anything than paint, uncertain death away!

Ulp, portal travel. Blergh. So, where are you now? A catacomb? Oh wait, a temple, let’s see if the priest there will finally tell us what’s going on. And.... he does not speak english, but we can’t do anything else, so let’s just stand here and listen to what we can’t understand.

Slowly the words become english, oh wait, no we’ve gained the mystical ability to speak the language here because we took the time to listen, also it’s because April is “special”. Well depending on your definition, that’s true, but the game’s not working off the same one I’m using.

So, where the fuck are we? Priest guy is the something of whatever, and tells us we are in another world, one that doesn’t work off science and logic, but magic! Well April doesn’t work off logic either, so being trapped in a different world with no money, food, place to stay, livelihood or knowledge of how *anything* here works? Not a problem.

Still, this place is completely unfamiliar, so an explanation from someone who understands just how out of her depth would be good. Can the priest direct us to jackoff’s buddy? Nope, no idea where the dude lives, and he’s not known by name around here, just as the Rolling Man.

Okay, off into the city! Let’s wander around the market. Oh, a map maker- does he know where the Rolling Man is? Yes, but he’s not going to tell you. Fuck. His delivery boy just quit though, so maybe if you work for him you can break into his files later on. It’s low pay.... but you have zero money in this world, so the only way is up.

Okay, deliver a map to a sailor, and get his signature to confirm delivery. Simple enough, let’s find the docks. Huh, word is ship travel’s stalled in this port town because a wizard’s been fucking with the wind. How whimsical. Anyway, we got a boat to find.

Okay sailor man, here’s your map. That’ll be one coin for the delivery and sign here, or my boss will fire me. What do you mean you won’t sign?! Conversation time, oh, he can’t write. Just put anything, an ‘x’ will do. Nope, apparently writing is bad juju. But without a signature you’re out a job and the the only chance to find rolling buddy.

You want music, then you’ll sign? Great, oh and April can’t just sing, gotta get an instrument. Well time to see what’s available for the one coin she’s got. Anything? A cheap flute, whatever. So, broke once more, it’s time to play a song for the sailor. Can April even play music? She’s a painter. Whatever.

Music played, money gone, form signed, back to map maker to get the next job. Well, what do you know? It’s a map for rolling buddy, and now as the delivery drone, we’re allowed to know the directions to his place. ..... say what? Can you write that down... oh it appears on the map screen. Good, ‘cause those directions were long and not that clear.

Okay, rolling buddy, here’s your map, and btw, homeless jackoff said you’ll know how to get April back to her world. Time for a chat and a drink.... what do you mean you don’t fucking know?! Oh but here’s a watch. Yay. It’s broken. Of course.

Random junk time, and the watch is fixed. Oh, magic watch, but not really. An aid to access the world transitioning power within. Anyway a way to get home, let’s go. Wibbly wobbly away!

And back with jackoff. So just what was that all about you homeless fuck? A conspiracy, world in danger, blah blah blah. Now April has a choice, hang with her best friend for the evening or go on that date with slimy. According to the walkthrough, he’s going to be an asshole either way.

Anyway next day. Now I could keep playing, a world of science, one of magic, some big conspiracy, the fate of both worlds in danger. But the thing is, I’d have to keep controlling April. And while I’ve gone through what’s happened while I was playing, I haven’t even begun to touch on how annoying this bint is.

I mentioned King’s Quest III. Okay, that was annoying and clunky too, plus tons of death screens thrown in to boot. But the main character was so much better. Yes, he knew nothing about the world he was in, but he was kidnapped as a child and had spent all of the life he could remember as a servant for an evil wizard.

What did want? To escape and find a life for himself. As he works towards his freedom, he finds out more about his past, a place to go to, a princess in danger, wrongs to right.

April on the other hand. Her backstory has her set up as an art student, but she never works towards that. She left her small hometown to attend this art school and become an artist? She touches a canvas ONCE. She complains about repeating dreams of a fantasy otherland, then complains about how she has no inspiration.

Everything around her is inspiration. The dreams, the views of the area she lives in, the left over pieces the area’s past. The boy who produces a painting every day, oh how she envies him, but’s not going to talk to him. She’s not going to talk to her friend and fellow art student. She’s not even going to work on her fucking painting in progress. No April’s going to drift around, complaining to herself that she has no muse.

She’s a penniless art student, who is under an obligation to produce a single piece of work for an upcoming exhibition that the school is putting on. This is important to her, or at least it’s supposed to be, because she sure as hell doesn’t act like it is. She’ll drift around, talking to her friends about anything other than her troubles. Hell, she’ll talk to the homeless bum who sits around on his ass all day.

A homeless bum who somehow knows about her dreams and spouts nothing but vague bullshit at her, and that’s enough for her to throw everything out the window to chase after him so he can spout more vague nonsense at her.

He has to talk to her, but makes it near impossible for her to find him to have this talk. And why is she doing all this? Well he said he knew she was having dreams, and apparently that’s the most pressing thing in her life. She isn’t even convinced these dreams are important. She complains about having them instead of getting inspired.

This is not the story of someone who as they chase their dream, learn more about the world and their destiny. This is someone who farts around as she deliberately avoids working towards her dream. Does she have a destiny? It looks like it, but it’s not something she’s been searching for, and neither is it something being thrust upon her. She’s certain of nothing, everything in her life is vague and unfocused. No fighting for something, nor fighting to escape something. Someone she barely knows mentions dreams, and she’s going to comb the city, picking up junk and breaking the law because... she doesn’t feel like doing any painting today.

Adventure games, you have to jump through a lot of hoops, but most games- there’s a reason for it. It furthers the main charcter’s goals, or they’re trying to fight the system as it cracks the whip and forces them to jump. April doesn’t have either. A stranger walks over, holds up a hoop and says “jump through this”.

No reason, no pressure, no consequence. The hoop doesn’t lead to something she desires, and there nothing to stop her from refusing to jump through it. She’s not getting fulfillment out the jumping. Random people walk up to her and tell her to jump through a hoop.

How can I write so much and yet be unable to properly articulate just what it is about this stupid fool I can’t stand? It’s a directionless dumbass complaining about her lack of something she actually has in spades, as she does everything to avoid the reason she’s there in the first place.

Reposting so I can find this easier (for, uh.... research ;p ) Well honestly, I started off with view that a well-formed pair of buttocks are pleasant enough to gaze upon, but the absolute fervor so many have was just confusing- and then I come across something like this and I’m “Oh, I kind of get it now”. Not just a well-formed ass, it’s a well-formed ass that allows me a glimpse into the world-view of other human beings. Ladies and gentlemen: Katono Taiko- ass ambassador.

Chase + Tight Pants

Hey, it's a legitimate reason for not getting off the couch in my family. "Can't move- catted."

I always imagine this happening to Wash and either Carolina or Maine just walk over like “get up” and he just points to the cat like “i cANT now shush it’s sleeping”

Men and cats always seem to have this special relationship.

Some background.

Okay, I can’t edit this how I want (leaving only the middle under a cut), so I’ll post my concluding paragraph before the cut.

Being as socially isolated as I am, I can't say for sure, but I'm guessing I have fairly odd behaviours when it comes to fandoms. I tend to jump from one to another as the mood strikes me, but eventually come back to most of them for a while, trawl my way through fanfic and art, and then completely ignore it as I move back to another old fandom.

Okay, that's probably not that odd, but when I cycle off a fandom I tend to ignore it completely and not even mentally count it as something I'm a fan of. Sometimes to the point of almost actively avoiding it, say, avoiding reading a crossover fic for something I'm currently into that's been crossed with one of my previous fandoms that I'm currently ignoring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The upshot of all this being- sometimes I’ll effectively ‘drop’ a fandom entirely, only to wander back months or years later and pick back up where I left off. (And in the intervening period, never actively acknowledge it’s something I’ve like.)

The thing is, I don't really even know why I do that. As a kid, most of the time I was always in the process of reading anything from two to four novels at the same time.

Say, I'd have an Asimov short stories compilation lying around, be halfway through one Anne McCaffery, starting off another Anne McCaffery from a different series and had just finished re-reading Voyage of the Dawn Treader because it was a rainy day on the weekend and C.S. Lewis and large mugs of tea just seemed to be on the agendum, and then that evening, one of my Terry Pratchett novels is begging for another read.

And then I'd have trouble understanding why people felt that keeping track of the stories when reading two novels concurrently was such a difficult thing to do.

I didn't have the analogy then, but now that I think about it, isn't exactly the same as having more than one favourite tv show? I just went in as much for the written word as I did tv. ....plus never liking soap operas usually gave me some time free each evening.

When you're eight, a choice between Neighbours, the news or reruns of Yes Minister is enough to make flail in frustration in the lack of anything *good* on the tv, so you need some way to amuse yourself before primetime. I happened to have a large sci-fi/fantasy library on hand thanks to my parents, so I'd pick a book and start reading.

Or it was the weekend/holidays and I had to be *somewhere* so I'd go along to work with my mother, who was a cataloguing librarian. And back in the work areas of the library just happened to be a huge collection of sci-fi that someone had willed to the university, and there's only so many times you can wander around the lake, main square or cafeteria before you're bored out your mind.

And this degenerated into reminiscing about books and my childhood fairly quickly. Huh. Well, that's also a trait of mine, I can never keep on topic. (Or I'll have a long rambling story/theory/anecdote that seemingly everyone else considers off-topic, but dammit- you didn't let me finish and it all ties together!) My tangents never seems to match up with what the rest of the world considers 'understandable'.

The upshot of all this being- sometimes I'll effectively 'drop' a fandom entirely, only to wander back months or years later and pick back up where I left off. (And in the intervening period, never actively acknowledge it's something I've like.)