Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy Just Got Reddit!

You’ve done it. You’ve created the perfect pizza. That was the day you learned that “No one outpizzas the hut” wasn’t a slogan… it was a warning.

By LabradoriteKing on Pinterest

I'm fascinated by how the formatting of different social media sites affect how text is read.

For instance, a line break on Tumblr indicates a new idea.

Yes, this seems like a it would be a popular destination if time travel was real.

You’re on the first time travel expedition to the Library of Alexandria. Upon arrival, your team finds a sign at the entrance that says, in over a dozen languages, “all time travelers must register at front desk immediately upon arrival.”

still thinking bout that poll tbh

Thanks for letting us know. I never understood what they thought Tumblr live was going to be.

has this one been done yet

please please please please reblog if you’re a writer and have at some point felt like your writing is getting worse. I need to know if I’m the only one who’s struggling with these thoughts

Ok, I actually kinda like it.

Once Upon A TIME,

a bunch of scientists realized that the current time system, of 60 seconds to 60 minutes to 24 hours, was a little ridiculous, and decided that like many other measurements, it needed to be given a metric system equivalent.

Unfortunately for them, they decided to keep all the same names for things, and people decided it was too confusing and the whole thing never took off.

Then a while back, I took that information, mixed it with my minecraft hyperfixation, and came up with a new time system. Hear me out, because I think that despite (or maybe due to?) its origin, it's actually a pretty solid system.

So, let's start big and work down, since that's simplest for this.

One day-night cycle. First of all, who decided a day-night cycle would be called a day? That entirely dismisses the other half of the cycle! So, the cycle will now be known as a Clock. This is not an issue, because unlike the old system, which used analog clocks which only showed numbers for half the cycle and had to go around twice per cycle (why???), the new system uses clocks which go around once per cycle (as it should be). Secondly, it's ridiculous to start the Clock in the middle of the night, so 0:00 will be at dawn.

Now, instead of 24 hours in a day, we will have 10 units to a Clock, because the point is the metric system. These units will be called Clicks (and now you're seeing where the minecraft hyperfixation affected things. Suck it up, the names are the best part honestly, wait for the ending). At ten units to what was previously 24, that means each Click is the same length of time as 2.4 hours, or 2 hours and 24 minutes.

That's a long unit, so we need to divide it further. These will be our minute equivalents for the system. These units will be called Tocks, and there will be 100 of them in each Click. This equates 100 Tocks to 144 minutes, or 1 Tock to 1.44 minutes (or 1 minute and 26.4 seconds, for those of you counting).

Clearly, we still need one more small unit for small amounts of counting - equivalent to seconds. Once again since this is metric based, there will be 100 units per Tock. These smallest units are Ticks. A Tick is worth .864 of a second - nearly the same when you're counting in your head, given that the speed at which a person pronounces "One Mississippi" already varies a person's personal perception of a second's length. I recognize that officially, seconds are based on the length of time it takes some certain type of isotope to go through a decay cycle, but let's be honest, that was just a way to standardize something completely arbitrary. They can pick a different isotope for a Tick.

So, the new system is as follows:

100 Ticks -> 1 Tock, 100 Tocks -> 1 Click, 10 Clicks -> 1 Clock

Ticks, Tocks, Clicks, Clocks.

LET'S GO.

one of the little details i've noticed about the lion, the witch, and the wardrobe specifically—book AND movie both!—is the implicit implication that the white witch's spell did more than just make it always winter and never christmas. i think it froze everything there, including time. for instance, tumnus talks about narnia before things were frozen as though he lived it himself, and by his own admission, that was over a hundred years ago. (he does this in book and movie both iirc but it definitely stands out in the movie.) and you say, okay, well do fauns just live a long time? maybe, but then tumnus is referred to as now being "middle-aged" in hahb, implying he ages more normally once narnia is no longer frozen. the beavers, too, speak similarly, but more than that, in the book, think about the dam. if he built it after the river froze, it wouldn't be properly dammed, but the river there is described as being frozen very specifically after being dammed, as well as looking like it froze all at once (due to magic). and beavers, even Talking Beavers, wouldn't live a hundred years, especially considering our knowledge of how bree and hwin aged fairly normally for horses in hahb. so like. imagine everyone in narnia is just as frozen as the land. never aging. never dying. only being turned to stone. imagine your dam has been unfinished for decades. imagine there hasn't been a child born there for a hundred years. not until the sons and daughters of our world brought hope and magic and spring again.