Jackforeman​:

jackforeman​:

As the door closed behind them, Jack felt himself suck in an anxious breath, as though all of the air in Adam’s room filled his lungs. It hung still between them for a moment until Adam spoke, letting out the first apology of what was bound to be many. Jack felt sorry, too, even though he was the one who had died at the hands of his best friend, the same ones that were shoved in the pockets of the familiar sweatshirt. In a flash, they could have been coming toward him again, locking his wrists behind his back, leading him toward whatever that thing was in the warehouse. 

But that wasn’t the Adam he knew. It wasn’t the same person that stood before him in his childhood bedroom, where they used to play cards and talk about the girls Jack now knew Adam was never into. It was another secret, piled onto the heap that people had been keeping from him. Like the others, it wasn’t one he could blame Adam for. If he had shown up at his own doorstep, he would’ve lied to himself, too, like Steve and Julie had when they’d omitted the part where he had come back from the dead. He didn’t blame Jo, either, for claiming that the board in the basement wasn’t hers until they needed it. The culmination of being kept in such darkness after losing years of his life, though? Jack was coming close to breaking.

If his memory was correct, it was Adam who had been the one who took those years away from him. Maybe it wasn’t Adam at the wheel of his own free will, but deep down, there was a piece of his friend in there, in the dream. He wanted to be mad, to blame everything on Adam: it would’ve been easier that way. After the carnival, though, and recognizing the feeling of having no autonomy over his own body, Jack simply couldn’t. It looked like Adam was ready for him to kick the shit out of him, like he’d done to Steve, but this was his Adam, his best friend, and there was nothing inside of him that would let him willingly hurt him.

“I have a feeling I’m not safe to be around, either,” he said finally, his teeth digging into his bottom lip. “That’s what you were going to tell me, before the carnival, wasn’t it? That you–that I died.” The word still stung on his tongue; he couldn’t come to say it without wincing. “I know, it couldn’t have been you, if that wasn’t us at the carnival, either.” Jack paused, taking a small step forward, slow, so as to not scare Adam. “I don’t hate you. I could never.” Another step, before his arm was wrapped around Adam’s, the other coming around his shoulder, bringing Adam into his embrace. “I promise.” 

Adam was trying to keep his distance from Jack, not for his own safety, but in case it was true. In case he had killed his best friend. After what Jo had said, and what Adam knew from talking to Cole, it made sense. As much as Adam didn’t want to believe that he could be capable of that - even in the worst circumstances - he knew he wasn’t in control of his own body when he blacked out. Whatever he had done, he hadn’t decided to do it.

That didn’t fully absolve him of guilt, though. Adam knew he hadn’t chosen to hurt Jack, but that didn’t mean his body hadn’t been used as a weapon to kill. And no matter how much Adam wished he could, he couldn’t fix the damage he’d done three years ago. The worst part was, Adam didn’t even remember it. He didn’t remember doing whatever he had done to Jack - but Jack did. Jack had to live with that visual now, and all of the pain and terror that came with it. 

No part of Adam would have blamed Jack for showing up to kick his ass. He wouldn’t fight back at all, afraid of hurting Jack again in the process. Adam frowned at Jack’s confession, wanting to argue but he couldn’t. If what he’d heard about the carnival was true, maybe none of them ever would be safe to be around. Not while they were having the blackouts. “You didn’t kill anyone, though,” Adam said, pausing on the word kill. It still felt wrong to say, like the action itself. 

“...yes,” Adam admitted quietly, thinking back to that day in the Foreman’s basement. It felt like a lifetime ago - back when his biggest issue was whether or not he had really died. Adam knew the truth now; he knew that he had. He knew that Jack had. “Cole told me I’d died the first time I saw him after we got back. I didn’t... I didn’t believe him, at first. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want you to have to know that either, unless you wanted to.” Adam hadn’t wanted to force that truth on Jack. It had been impossible for Adam to process himself at first. “Not because of what I did to you. I wasn’t trying to hide that, because I don’t remember it. I just didn’t want to fuck up your life with news like that.” Because while Adam didn’t blame Cole for telling him... it had caused so much grief. So many nights lying awake, wondering why he hadn’t gone to Heaven or Hell. Wondering what he had done to deserve dying at nineteen years old, right in the prime of his life. Wondering how he had died, if he had died. Jack didn’t deserve to have those same thoughts. 

As Jack approached him, Adam wanted to take a step back. The more distance, the less likely it was that something bad could happen to either of them. But he stood his ground, taking in the words of forgiveness he didn’t feel he deserved. Not entirely, at least. I don’t hate you. I could never. The words made Adam’s eyes tear up, and he returned Jack’s embrace tightly. “I’m so sorry, Jack. I’m sorry.”

zccming​:

adam richards. it was a name she’d been hearing for years from cole. max was no therapist, but when it came to grief, her and cole had gotten pretty good at sitting down, dumping all of their feelings together, then doing absolutely nothing about them. cole, adam, robin, all of them were older than her, but with adam specifically, max hadn’t known of him while he was in school and other than a few pictures and glances from a distance this past summer, didn’t really even know what adam looked like. that was until she clocked him curled up in cole’s hospital bed. this was adam, without a doubt in her mind. 

she had been weaving in and out of rooms for so long she felt like her legs might collapse from underneath her and she just needed to sit. not wanting to overstay her welcome in any of the other rooms, she chose cole’s to rest for a minute. she hadn’t been expecting him – or adam to wake up. she jumped a bit when adam did, watching him like a frightened animal. it wasn’t his fault, more the impact of all the unexpected events that had transpired in the past twelve hours. for a while, she said nothing, and neither did he. when adam finally spoke, max noted how kind his voice sounded. in a way, that quality reminded her of lucas. she shrugged off the question, “it’s cool.” don’t apologize. when adam grasped at answers, max sighed. there was no hiding the truth from him, he already knew at least to some extent. “i’ve only seen something like this once before.” she admitted, rubbing her tired eyes. so much for rest. “but the thing that did it is gone.” with surprising conviction, max assured him, “but from what i can gather, that wasn’t you acting at the carnival. we just…need to find the weakspot of this new guy and take him down.” 

she made it sound so easy, even though she knew well how difficult the journey ahead could get.

Adam hadn’t known Max before. She’d been a kid then, someone he had maybe seen at the pool a few times or heard about from Billy. Coming back and finding out she’d became Cole’s best friend had been unexpected, but he knew from how often Cole spoke about her that she meant a lot to him. Adam was grateful for her supporting him during his grief these last few years. 

He moved closer to Cole’s bed, unwilling to be far from him after everything that he’d been through since the carnival. He kept space between him and Max, not wanting to freak Max out, in case she had seen what he’d done while he was blacked out. Sitting down in the chair closest to Cole, Adam reached subconsciously for his hand, lacing their fingers together while Cole continued to sleep. “If it’s gone... how are we still doing this?” Adam asked her, frowning at the information. There was just so much he didn’t know, so much he couldn’t even begin to process. And it fucking sucked. “Have you done that before?” Adam asked curiously, worried that they wouldn’t figure this all out. He knew he certainly didn’t know enough to solve shit. 

“Apparently, I did stuff like that before,” He admitted, despite not knowing Max at all. He trusted her with this, though, considering how much she already knew. “And...well, if it happens again,” Adam felt guilty asking this. She could say no - he wouldn’t blame her. She didn’t owe him anything. “If it happens again, can you just... make sure Cole isn’t near me? I can’t hurt him.” Not again. Adam wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he did. 

honestly? Im sincere and so full of love and no one can ever take that away from me

sinclairss​:

who: lucas & @goldenboyrichards​ where: the hospital cafeteria what: comparing notes

hospital food sucked, but he hadn’t eaten yet today and while he’d snagged a bag of skittles from the vending machine near steve’s room earlier in the day, the rainbow candies weren’t sustaining him hours later. lucas wasn’t even really all that hungry, but he thought maybe some of his sluggishness was because all he’d consumed in the last 12 hours was that pack of skittles and three cups of coffee. he paid for a cardboard-looking slice of pizza and some rubbery french fries and turned around. 

it gave him a little sense of déjà vu, actually. suddenly, he was fourteen years old, scanning the hawkins high cafeteria for mike and dustin and wondering if things might be different for him this year. he was fifteen and anxious about splitting his time between the basketball team’s table and hellfire’s. he was sixteen and figured out he didn’t care and sat at a different table almost every day. and then he was eighteen, holding a tray of food after visiting his injured friend in the hospital. shaking off the thought, lucas found the first empty table he could and took a seat. he was halfway through the pizza when he glanced up and noticed someone he knew. well, knew of, more like. adam richards was the kind of jock lucas had idolized as a kid…and then he was gone. he’d come back recently and all lucas knew about him now was that he’d been at the forest commune and that he’d almost had to get between him and cole montgomery during the carnival fiasco…until that thing had attacked him. he lifted his hand in what he hoped was a welcoming kind of wave. “hey. need some company?” 

Cole was alive. He was going to be okay. Things would eventually go back to normal, right? So why did Adam still feel so fucking shitty?

Probably because Cole had told him about everything that he’d done. Only... it wasn’t Adam, was it? He had blacked out. He couldn’t remember any of it, and that was terrifying. To not be in control of your own body, making your own decisions and being made into a weapon? It horrified Adam. It devastated him. To think that he was responsible for so much death and destruction made him feel sick.

So sick that he had no appetite. He’d finally been forced to leave the room in order to eat something, but Adam couldn’t. He’d been playing with his Jello, scooping it up and letting it slide off of his fork back into the container. It was soothing, in a weird way, and Adam just had to waste enough time that it wouldn’t be suspicious when he returned. 

At the sound of a voice, he looked up with a confused expression. Oh, it was one of those kids from the carnival, Nancy’s brother’s friend. Adam offered him a small nod, kicking the chair across from him out for Lucas to take. “Uh, thanks,” He tried for a smile, but it felt fake even to him. “Lucas, right?” He asked, only vaguely aware of him. “You were.... you were there, right?” Adam asked, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “Were you hurt?” Did I hurt you? Adam was asking, begging for the answer to be no. 

sinclairss​:

basketball had been an opportunity for lucas in high school, aa doorway into the popular crowd he so envied in middle school. he’d tried out for the team after his freshman year peer mentor, one of a handful of black boys in the entire school, took him under his wing and asked him to join the team. lucas probably only made the team because he had some natural athleticism…and because he was one of a handful of black boys in the entire school, too, and everyone assumed kids like him were just going to be automatically good at basketball. it had taken a lot of time and practice, but with the help of jay, patrick, and steve, lucas had become a pretty decent point guard.

more importantly, though? lucas found something he loved doing. he felt the same rush making the game-winning shot as he did when he and the rest of the party teamed up to take down eddie’s latest final monster or when he beat dustin or max’s high scores at the arcade. after freshman year, it went from something he did because it helped him gain popularity to something he did because he had fun doing it. sure, the teammates, friends, and attention from cheerleaders helped, but it was nothing compared to seeking out his friends in the crowd after a big win and seeing all of them screaming their heads off for him. 

but even without the crowds and the team, lucas had fun playing. he spent many a free afternoon at the neighborhood court, practicing his layups and free throws, sometimes trying trick shots just for the hell of it. occasionally, he could drag one of his friends along and it was fun, too, but in a different sort of way than it was with one of the guys from the team. now that he’d graduated, lucas didn’t get to practice with the guys anymore, so when adam asked if he’d like to play, he’d leaped at the chance. adam was athletic even if he’d never played on the school’s basketball team, so he figured he’d put up a little bit more of a fight than max, dustin, or mike would in a pickup match.

he stood at the free throw line dribbling the ball between his legs and behind his back, testing his weight on his bad knee every now and then. “can’t make any promises, man,” he replied with a smile as he pulled up to take a fadeaway shot from the line. it sailed through, rattling the chain in the basket. lucas went to retrieve the ball and tossed it to adam once he was on his feet. “you know HORSE, right?” lucas said, folding his hand behind his head. “you take a shot from anywhere and if you make it, i have to make the same shot or i get a letter. if you miss, i get to pick where to shoot and if i make it, you have to duplicate it. first person to spell HORSE loses.” he bit the inside of his cheek to bite back a smirk. “unless you’re chicken?” 

Adam had never tried out for a sport besides football in high school, though he often thought about it now. Back then, it just seemed like he was The Quarterback. That was his brand, what he was known for - trying something new had seemed a little scary. What if he wasn’t good at it? What if he showed up and everyone expected him to be the star of that sport too, and he’d let them down? It had been easier sticking to what he was sure he was good at, and spending the rest of his time with Cole. Now a days, it seemed like a good idea to branch out and try all of the things he’d been too scared of before. Life wasn’t guaranteed - that was a lesson he’d obviously learned the hard way. Now that he had a second change? Well, Adam was starting to think that maybe it was time to stop giving as many fucks about what people expected of him. 

Lucas seemed nice, and a lot less stressful to be around than some of the other jocks Adam knew. He wasn’t sure if that was just who Lucas was, or if it was because they didn’t have any sort of history with one another. As much as Adam loved Chance and Jack, there were complicated feelings now attached with both of them. Lucas was a blank slate - someone who seemed kind, and who hadn’t been upset with him or blamed him for what had happened at the carnival. That already made him an appealing person to goof off and practice shooting hoops with. 

Adam laughed at Lucas’ words, rolling his eyes at the lack of a promise. Alright, fair enough. Adam could handle some friendly joking on the court; it wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to after four years of being part of the Tigers’ football team. “I think I can handle that, yeah,” Adam replied, snorting at the idea of being too chicken for a game of HORSE. “So I have a fighting chance, mind if I go first?” He asked, grabbing the ball from Lucas and picking a spot towards the left side of the court, near the three point line, Adam dribbled a few times. He picked up the ball, tucked his elbows in and shot it at the hoop, pleased to see it go in. Not the greatest shot in the world, but he’d take it. “Alright, dude. Show me how it’s done.” He wasn’t kidding himself - he knew Lucas could make it easily. 

WHO: Adam Richards & Anyone !

WHAT: Visiting your hometown grocery store as an adult and Hating It

WHERE: Melvald’s 

Once upon a time, going out in public was fine for Adam. A trip to the grocery store probably meant catching up with the his parents’ friends if he ran into them, and going to the diner included getting one or two girls’ phone numbers ( that he never called ). He was used to the attention - it was always positive. 

Sure, the pressure of being Mr. Perfect got to Adam at times, but it was manageable back then. He knew it wouldn’t be something he’d have to deal with forever, because one day, he and Cole would leave for San Francisco and all of this would be left in the rearview mirror. 

That was before he’d died decided to live in a commune for three years. Now, every trip out meant plenty of questions about where he had been, why he had left, what sort of things had happened there. And Adam was sick of it. But that didn’t mean it could go away entirely. 

Pushing a shopping cart through the aisle of Melvald’s, Adam kept his head low, avoiding eye contact. The sooner he could pick stuff up for his mother and get home, the better. But no matter how much he tried to keep a low profile, it didn’t seem to work. Rounding a corner quickly to avoid his sophomore Algebra teacher, Adam accidentally bumped someone with the cart. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” He apologized, hoping he hadn’t hurt the person too badly. 

kvrenwheeler​:

recently karen had been feeling like she had more mouths to feed right now than she did when all of her children were living at home permanently. with nancy having a friend over for the summer, and that boyfriend of hers in tow as well. then there was michael and his friends who often stayed for dinner too, and obviously ted and holly as well. it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but overwhelming since the majority she had to do herself. 

so the grocery shop was currently a lot more draining than usual, given the sheer amount of groceries was almost twice as much as usual. but it did give her time to herself, however short. 

abandoning the cart on the other side of the aisle, she moved over to grab a specific box of cereal at mike’s request of course. it was only when a loud crashing sound came from behind her, that the box fell from her hand and clattered to the ground as well. 

turning on her heel to locate the noise, she was met with a young man who had pushed his cart into hers. ah, that must have been it. “it’s no problem.” karen couldn’t help but notice that he seemed a little on edge. then came the brief recognition, which caused her to frown. “are you a friend of my son’s?” technically speaking he could also be a friend of nancy’s, she just couldn’t put her finger on it. 

Adam was thankful that he’d only crashed into the woman’s cart, at least. If he’d actually hurt her or knocked over a display or something, that would have been so embarrassing. He moved quickly around their carts to help grab the item she’d dropped, handing it back to her before returning. “Sorry, I need to pay more attention,” He apologized again, offering her a small, sheepish smile. 

At her question about her son, Adam frowned, trying to figure out who she was talking about. After a second, he realized she was Mrs. Wheeler, so she must have been talking about the nerdy kid who had a little friend group that he spent so much time with. Adam didn’t really know them, but he’d seen them a few times at the pool, he thought. “Oh, no,” He shook his head, smiling slightly. Adam did know that kid’s older sister, though. She’d been a year or two behind him in school, but she’d saved his science grade when he retook the class. “But Nancy used to be my lab partner! I think I came over once to study.” It wasn’t like they had been close or anything, and honestly ‘studying’ had been him staring at his textbook in confusion for two hours while Nancy made flash cards. Still, he remembered Mrs. Wheeler being nice when he’d come over, and he sort of remembered her coming to the pool a lot back when he’d been a lifeguard with Billy and Heather. “I’m Adam Richards, ma’am.” He told her with a small smile, holding a hand out for her to shake. 

jackforeman​:

WHO: jack foreman & @goldenboyrichards WHERE: walking out of the hawkins forest lol

This wasn’t the first time that Jack and Adam had been together and not known where they were in the morning, but this time, it was different. This time, they were walking out of the fucking forest, and he had no clue where they were. It wasn’t easy to get lost in Hawkins, but something felt different, like he’d hit his head or suffered the worst hangover of his life. What the hell had they been doing, throwing a party in the woods? It wasn’t something that the two did often, not when they had each other’s houses to do that.

“Dude, what the fuck?” he asked as they stepped onto the road. His clothes looked like they’d been raked through the mud about ten times, and his legs felt like they hadn’t walked in years. He was sore, and it was like he’d just been beaten up. “Where the fuck are we?”

Jack turned toward Adam, who looked about the same that he did, and shook his head. Something had to be off. “I don’t have my car here, man, I don’t even know where it would be Did someone drop us off? Maybe we should head to Melvald’s and ask to use the phone or something. I don’t want to go to the police and get drug tested or something. I don’t know, you got any better ideas?”

Adam didn’t usually get this drunk. In fact, he couldn’t actually remember a time when he had blacked out completely like this, to the point where he didn’t even remember the last thing that he remembered. Every part of his body was sore, but maybe that was from sleeping in the forest? Or maybe he and Jack had truly done something stupid, like got dragged into a fight with other guys or something?

He had no clue, but at least he wasn’t alone. That might have been even more disorienting. His clothes were a mess, and he was pretty sure there were multiple leaves stuck in his hair, but at least he was mostly okay. “I have no clue, dude,” Adam shook his head at Jack’s question. “I don’t remember anything. Do you?” 

At the mention of a car, Adam’s face fell. Shit. If only one of them had driven here, but given the fact that neither of the cars were anywhere to be seen, it was unlikely. Walking all the way back would suck, but maybe it would give them time to remember something. “I guess? Must have, because I don’t think we would have walked all the way out here for a party.” Maybe Cole had, or one of the other guys from football. But then, why had they left them? Why not wait for them to wake up? “Who should we call?” He asked Jack, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t remember doing drugs, dude. Do you think we were drugged?” That worried him a lot, but it made more sense than straight laced, wholesome Adam Richards taking something stronger than weed. 

jofcreman​:

now, on the short walk to adam’s house ( two blocks, jo walked fast ) , she’d gone through almost every possible scenario, every way this conversation could possibly go. most of the time it had ended with either jo punching him in the face or adam angrily shutting the door, calling the cops, maybe. either way, she’d been angry in every scenario, ready to haul him over the coals, ready to end him for what he’d done to jack. however - this hadn’t happene in any of the scenarios. this being adam richards hauling ass into the kitchen emptying his guts into the rubbish.

jo had followed him into the house, only because she thought he might try and make a run for it. but quite obviously he… hadn’t. and her angry features softened, made way for a dumbfounded yet slightly concerned expression, she opened her mouth, stumbling over what to say. fuck. this had - this had not gone to plan, like, at all. this wasn’t how it was supposed to go! adam was supposed to confess and - “no!” she voiced her running thoughts, dropped her bag to the ground with an exasperated sigh, threw her hands in the air, stopped herself short of stomping her foot like a defiant child. “you’re not - ugh! you’re supposed to say how you did it and why and then - then i punch you for what you did and instead youre - ugh!” she groaned and did stomp her foot like a defiant child. “you’re not suppsoed to make me feel bad for you, asshole.”

but she did, and she felt guilt as hell, too, as she slid down next to him, brows drawn together in worry. jo sighed, a weary, heavy sound. “i don’t know, richards.”, she muttered after a moment, despite knowing it wasn’t a question asked for her to answer. she gave a little shrug, looked down at her hands. “i just - after what happened at the carnival, i don’t know what to believe anymore.” why was it always this fucking difficult? “can you just - can you tell me what you remember? about that night? promise i won’t hit you, i just - i’m just trying to figure out what happened. what really happened.”

It felt too terrifying to wrap his mind around fully. Adam knew he was capable of horrible things when he had blacked out - he’d tried to help with the fireworks, and though he hadn’t lit the match that killed five people, he had still helped. But to find out that he’d done that to his best friend? Jack? One of the kindest guys he knew, who had never done anything to Adam? It felt unthinkable. As he sat in the floor, head in his hands, he couldn’t stop the tears from falling as he tried his hardest to remember doing that. 

But nothing came

He couldn’t remember any of that last week - Adam couldn’t even remember how he’d been possessed. If it weren’t for the nightmarish flash of the memory of threatening Cole, Adam wouldn’t even have any inkling of what he’d done leading up to his death. That summer had been fun. Full of bonfires by the lake, working as a lifeguard, sneaking off with Cole and making plans on their escape to California. Adam remembered being happy before it had all gone black. He remembered sharing beers with Jack at a party, dancing to Summer of ‘69 in his kitchen to make Cole laugh, watching The Price is Right with Beth, taking Cindy to see The Goonies. And then everything went black and apparently, he’d killed Jack. 

He worried for a moment that he might be sick again before Jo followed him inside. “...I don’t know how I did it,” Adam told her weakly, looking up at her as she threw her bag down. “Or why. God, I have no fucking idea why.” He was horrifyingly, blissfully glad for a moment that he didn’t know. That he might never know. Because living with the memory of killing Jack sounded like absolute torture, and maybe this was kinder for him to not. But he didn’t really deserve kindness, did he? “...you can still punch me if you want,” Adam choked out, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand pathetically. 

Jo sat down, though she seemed like she was still disappointed with the lack of an answer on why Adam had suddenly gone insane and killed his best friend. “The night of the carnival?” He repeated, looking over at her as he took a deep breath to try to calm down a little bit. “I don’t... I remember getting there. Jack and I played some game for a bit, then there was the mayor’s speech and stuff. We got on the Tunnel of Love, and when we got off...it all just goes black,” He admitted, running a hand through his long hair. “I don’t remember anything else until I woke up and everyone was hurt. I didn’t even have a scratch on me. Nothing.”