Adam Jacob Richards & Walden Cole Montgomery

loverboymontgomery​:

Cole hated seeing Adam this upset. Before, it was rare for Adam to be upset about anything. He can’t recall a time when Adam was angry, and he can’t recall a time when Adam was this sad. The Mindflayer had broken part of him, and while Cole was confident that he could and would heal, he was still angry. He kept caressing Adam’s cheek, though his hands were shaking. Why Adam? Of course, it wasn’t just Adam, but… why not Cole? He would rather it be him coming back, dealing with all of this, than Adam– Adam who was always the first to crack a joke or include an outsider or show kindness to the most unlikely people.

Cole had never been like that, he’d never been like him: naturally kind, easily trusting. From birth, it seemed Cole had a chip on his shoulder– and that was okay with Adam. It was okay that they were different, it worked. And it still worked, it would always work. But Adam was never supposed to hurt like this. As Adam choked back a sob and slumped against Cole, Cole wrapped his arms around him and buried fingers in Adam’s hair. 

I love you too. I always have.

Tears stung Cole’s eyes and relief flooded his body hearing Adam say it. He figured it was part of the Mindflayer’s possession, but the last fight still echoed in Cole’s mind. Leave me the fuck alone, Adam had yelled, and Cole was relieved to be able to dismiss his fears that Adam hated him once and for all. “I’m so glad to hear you say that,” he admitted, his breath hot against Adam’s neck. He hadn’t planned on telling Adam about the fight– there was too much else going on– but he couldn’t help the pent-up tears from years of heartbreak. 

Pulling away just far enough to lock eyes with Adam, Cole angled his chin upward and cupped Adam’s face. “We’ll never have to be apart again. I promise,” he paused, taking in the view of Adam’s face. He was really here. “We’ll go to San Francisco, like we always planned,” Cole’s face broke out into a nostalgic smile.

It was a small thing, but Cole was glad Adam hadn’t let go of his hand to go to the door. Cole needed the physical reassurance that this was real, and he fully intended to hang on to Adam’s arm for the next year, at least. “Wait!” he called, grabbing the VHS from its discarded position on the floor. Cole ducked his head inside, still holding Adam’s hand behind him, and placed the tape on the entryway table. “Could you give this to Cindy? Tell her I’ll come by and watch it with her tomorrow, if she wants,” Cole flashed Mrs. Richards a smile, more genuine than any he’d produced in the past six months. “I’ll watch out for Adam,” he stated, hoping to ease her nerves.

Shutting the door behind them, Cole turned to Adam once again. “I don’t really have a car right now, so.. you up for a walk?” He looked at the porch swing with Adam’s hat and sunglasses. “Want your disguise?” he teased, bumping Adam’s hip with his own. For a second, things felt simple like they used to be. Cole breathed in the feeling, giving Adam’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

Anger and sadness were, thankfully, not emotions Adam was super familiar with. Before coming back, Adam had been a sweet, simple boy. He wasn’t quick to anger, or easily disgruntled in any way; he was a bit of a people pleaser, happy as long as everyone around him was also happy. But now, things were different. It was as if someone had taken off his rose-tinted glasses. He was sad and scared and more broken than he’d ever felt before because he just didn’t understand how he’d been selfish enough to hurt everyone around him by running away.

Unless, like Cole said, he hadn’t. 

But he wasn’t sure that would make him feel any better. It would take the blame off of him, sure; he’d feel less guilt. But then he would have to rationalize the fact that he’d died. For some reason, he had been killed and he’d come back and that just didn’t seem fair. 

Adam didn’t want to think about any of that right now, though. He just wanted to be with Cole. If Cole was right, they might not have all the time in the world - because who knew if he’d just die again or something? What if he was a ghost with some sort of unfinished business to take care of? Adam wanted to put that off for as long as possible so that he could just enjoy being back with Cole and his family. So, he brushed his tears away and kissed Cole’s cheek at his promise. “As long as I can help it, I won’t leave you again,” Adam promised in return. Because he couldn’t guarantee that he’d be by Cole’s side forever, but if Adam had any say in it, he sure would be. 

After Cole promised Mrs. Richards that he’d watch out for Adam ( something that was laughable, considering Adam was nearly half a foot taller than Cole ), she seemed to relax a bit. She didn’t know what was going on between them, but she knew Cole would never let her son get hurt again. Adam waved goodbye to her, popping back outside. 

“No, I’ll be okay.” Adam said as an afterthought, tucking the sunglasses into the pocket of his jean shorts. He took the baseball cap and placed it on Cole’s head instead. As with all of Adam’s things, it looked better on him anyway. With that, Adam headed to Cole’s house, ready to spend as much time with his boyfriend as he could. 

THE END.

honestly? Im sincere and so full of love and no one can ever take that away from me

jackforeman​:

All Jack could offer Adam was a shrug of his shoulders about the whole thing. Weird was really the only way to describe anything these days. “Yeah, it was. I wasn’t hungover or anything when I got home, so I don’t know. Maybe there was something in what we drank? That couldn’t be right, though–it was all in cans.” None of it made sense, but that seemed to be something the two could agree on, besides that things definitely could have gone worse. Cole and Adam weren’t hurt, and that was all that mattered.

Jack wasn’t really the most socially aware person on the planet, but he knew when something was up, especially when it was with Adam. He’d been so used to his ticks and tells when they played together, so much so that it was almost speechless. Jack knew from the way Adam looked (or even threw a football) how he was really doing. “Yeah, I kind of noticed. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, like, pry at anything when we were at the rock, it just … I know you, and I could tell there was something up between you guys.” Maybe it was the discussion about how they’d left for the woods that set Adam in a bad mood. He’d said that it was something about when they were gone, after all. Did he want to know, though? The word we meant that Cole did know something when he was at Melvald’s, but hadn’t said anything. Maybe that was the reason for Jo and Julie acting so strange, too. “I don’t know, do I want to know?” he asked, letting out a shaky laugh. “Not that you really had a choice, if Cole had told you, but … do you wish you didn’t? If that makes sense.”

Adam frowned at Jack not being hungover and them all drinking from cans. So maybe they could rule drugs out. “This whole thing is so confusing,” Adam replied, rubbing at his forehead with the heel of his hand. He was just glad they’d all made it safely, though and that nothing worse had happened. Adam didn’t think he could process any more bad shit right now, honestly. 

Playing together for years in high school left Adam and Jack very well acquainted. Jack knew Adam, and Adam knew him - he knew that Jack was a good guy, one of the best honestly. And he hadn’t told Jack about Cole before not because he didn’t trust him specifically, just...being open in Indiana wasn’t easy. Adam couldn’t be sure which of his jock friends might turn on him, hurting him or Cole for their relationship. But... Adam and Jack were bonded for life now by whatever had happened to them three years ago. There was no going back from that. “Yeah...there was. There is.” Adam corrected, staring down at his hands in his lap to avoid looking directly at his friend. “We’re...together,” He admitted quietly, having told a grand total of two people that he was gay before now. Cole and Chrissy. It never felt easier to expose that part of himself - but loving Cole was the easiest thing Adam had ever done. He just always had to remember that part when telling someone, to make the confession itself not seem so big. “I wish...” Adam sighed, sitting up straighter and leaning back in his chair. “Honestly, dude, I wish I didn’t know. I wish Cole hadn’t told me,” He admitted finally, not wanting to blame Cole. It wasn’t his fault. The thought itself was just so unthinkable to Adam, and he wished he could have lived in ignorance for longer. “But it’s your choice to make, man. I can’t make it for you.” 

mmuscles​:

WHO: thad bradshaw & @goldenboyrichards​

WHAT: gay hostility

WHERE: blue quarry mall

thad didn’t know much about this adam guy, but it seemed at every turn, he was there. with cole, near the keg, and sometimes he remembered jack would talk about him. lots of things bothered him about hawkins, but the latest grating factor was that he couldn’t figure out the appeal to this adam kid. he came off so…ugh? even after their run in at the grocery, before he had known that was adam, he felt sickened by the guy’s natural sweetness. thad wasn’t even sure why he was thinking about adam ( and by extent cole ) when he had a perfectly shitty mall in front of him to make fun of. he hadn’t come to buy anything, of course, he’d never stoop that low. but belittling things always seemed to make him feel better, so with nothing but time he’d come to the mall, only to find himself lost in a rare thought. 

as if he’d willed adam in front of him, thad immediately clocked the other as soon as he came out of a storefront, and before he could think about what he was doing, his feet were carrying him to adam. “hey man!” he called, trying to insure the other heard him. as he barreled his way over to the other, he hadn’t thought a lick about what he was going to say, and wound up standing there stupidly with his hands on his hips, “so…” he started pointedly, keeping the same force as he asked his question, “where’d you get that crewneck?”

Adam had never been the jealous type - at the risk of sounding conceded, he’d never really had any reason to be. Growing up, he had always been one of the best players on the field. Once he realized he was gay, he’d only ever been with Cole, who he knew was just as head-over-heels for him as Adam was for Cole. No, he’d never been jealous, even now. Adam wasn’t jealous of Thad. He just hated his attitude, hated the way he thought about Hawkins and about it’s people. He hated that he’d cheated on Nancy Wheeler with Cole. Adam wasn’t sure he was capable of hating a person, but if he could, then Thad would be second only to Tommy H.

Running into him at the mall was probably the last thing Adam wanted to do. If only he’d been able to tell Cindy no when she’d asked him to drive her here, to wait for her while she and her friend picked out things for some 4th of July party they were going to. But instead, he’d come inside and had even decided to go into a few stores himself, looking to update his wardrobe from three years ago a little bit. As much as Adam wanted to pretend he hadn’t seen Thad, he couldn’t ignore his loud greeting. “Oh, hey, dude,” He replied tightly, trying to still sound happy and carefree. Adam could totally be carefree. Cares? Please. He was free of them! “My...crewneck?” Adam asked, looking down at his shirt and studying it for a moment. If he was being honest, he hadn’t thought at all about his shirt before putting it on. Was something wrong with it? “The Gap, I guess?” Adam looked back up at Thad in confusion. “Why, were you looking to get one too?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

colemontgomeryx​:

Suddenly, unexplainably, Cole had a future again. Since Adam died, he had been aimless and drifting; obviously, he’d moved on in the literal sense– he’d gone to college, gotten promoted, made new friends– but he had not goals or ambition. All of his plans were tied to Adam; he would take whatever job, move to whatever state necessary just to be with him. Losing that felt like losing part of himself. More than he was confused, Cole was elated and relieved. He felt muscles unclench that must’ve been taut for the last three years. Finally, he was whole again. The closest he’d gotten for the last three years was talking about Adam with Max. 

He had so many questions: how was Adam alive? Did he remember the Mindflayer? Why did he think he’d been in a commune? But Adam’s embrace was intoxicating, the feeling of his face in Cole’s hair was bliss– Cole didn’t want to ruin the moment with questions, because what if questioning it made Adam disappear? What if this wasn’t real?

Cole laughed, too; It was classic Adam to crack a joke at a time like this. Cole’s brows furrowed together at Adam’s apologies; he really seemed to believe the commune thing, and Cole hated seeing him so wrecked with guilt. “Adam, no… you didn’t run away. You were dead,” he said, his tone gentle. “And I don’t know how you’re back, but you are.”

Tears pricked up in Cole’s eyes again at the thought of Adam gone, but he pushed the thought aside for now. “And can we worry about the details later?” he asked, meeting Adam’s eyes and pushing hair out of his face like he always used to. Tenderly, Cole cupped Adam’s face and pressed their lips together. Somehow, every kiss with Adam felt like magic– sloppy drunk kisses and rushed kisses in hidden corners alike felt like coming home, and now was no different. Cole leaned into the kiss, holding onto Adam like he was afraid he’d disappear if he let go. He paused, resting his forehead against Adam’s, and breathed: “I missed you so fucking much.”

Adam couldn’t wrap his brain around Cole’s words. There was no way. No way he had... because how could he be here now? If that had happened, why didn’t his family say anything? How could they just not remember? 

They had left his room exactly the same, down to the dirty clothes littering the floor and the half-drunk can of New Coke on his bedside table. At first, when he’d come home and seen that, he’d felt odd about it. Like he was a ghost, returning to the place he’d felt most comfortable haunting. Maybe... maybe there had been some truth to that feeling. But that was just impossible. Right? How could someone be dead for three years, then just come back like nothing had happened? 

Adam stopped that train of thought in it’s tracks. “No, I... no.” He said more firmly, shaking his head again. His hands let go of Cole briefly, only for his balled up fists to scrub at his eyes. “I didn’t die, Cole. I didn’t...” Adam repeated, voice pleading with Cole. Because he didn’t die. He couldn’t. What did that mean if he did? And what did it mean if he didn’t? “I left. I was in a commune. I’m sorry.” Adam repeated, voice breaking on his apology. 

And then Cole was kissing him, and the distress he’d just felt melted away slightly. It wasn’t gone. It was just shoved away to the back of his mind, deep in a dark place where Adam could hold on to it until he felt ready to process something that huge. Adam’s arms returned to Cole, wrapping around him and pulling him close. For the first time ever, Adam didn’t really care that they were in a semi-public place. Mrs. Sanders be damned. He kissed Cole sweetly, making up for the three years they’d been apart as best as he could. Adam ached for that time back, but he would take what he could get now. As they pulled away, Adam leaned his forehead against Cole’s, sighing at how right it felt. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” 

colemontgomeryx​:

Cole’s arms went slack and the VHS tape clattered to the ground. His jaw dropped and he was sure he looked like a cheesy cartoon character. He couldn’t believe he was having another vision, like what happened at the graveyard last week. Only, this time, he knew he had come to the Richards’ house. If nothing else, the VHS was evidence of that. And, besides, if this was a vision– why would Adam be apologizing for leaving him? As if he had a choice?

If this was a vision, Cole knew it would quickly turn dark– he’d watch Adam die, again– so he should just turn around and leave. But Cole couldn’t resist just a few more moments together, one last kiss, even if it was fake. So he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Adam’s torso. Burying his face in Adam’s chest, Cole’s tears pooling against the other’s t-shirt. He squeezed his teary eyes shut and waited for the dark eyes, the “I’m sorry,” the body bursting into flames…

Only, it didn’t. Cole’s death grip around Adam loosened and he peered up at the familiar face. Everything was the same: same lips, same nose, same eyes– though they looked sadder. What if this was real? He searched his lover’s eyes, looking for answers. If this was real, what did he mean he left? Cole had seen his body, had gone to the funeral, had grieved the death of the only person he could ever love for three years. What kind of sick joke could this be? Cole untangled his hand to swipe at his face and finally choked out: “Are you really real?” 

Adam braced himself, fully prepared for Cole to yell at him. He deserved it. Ever since they got serious, once Adam knew that Cole was it for him, they had planned on running away together. Hawkins was too small to contain a relationship like theirs - they deserved to go somewhere where no one knew them, where no one could judge them for being together. And Adam just left him. Regardless of how Adam came to be in that commune, whether it was his intention or not, he still left Cole behind. 

But the yelling never came. Instead, Cole threw himself into Adam’s arms and it felt like maybe some of those jagged pieces inside him fit again. For the first time since he’d left the woods with Jack, Adam felt like something in his life made sense. 

Adam clung to Cole, burying his own face in his curls. He’d changed shampoos at some point, but it didn’t matter. Underneath it, he still smelled like Cole. Tears were freely falling down his face now, but Adam couldn’t be bothered to wipe them away. He had no intention of letting go of Cole any time soon; not until Cole wanted him to. 

“Yeah, last time I checked,” Adam laughed wetly, crying still. “I’m so sorry.” He apologized again, holding Cole close to him. “I don’t... I don’t know what happened. They said I’ve been in some sort of commune or something?” Adam explained, shaking his head at the words. He didn’t really remember that - but what other explanation was there? “I didn’t mean to go, I don’t know why I did. None of it makes any sense. I promise I didn’t mean to leave you! I’m sorry.” 

kvrenwheeler​:

recently karen had been feeling like she had more mouths to feed right now than she did when all of her children were living at home permanently. with nancy having a friend over for the summer, and that boyfriend of hers in tow as well. then there was michael and his friends who often stayed for dinner too, and obviously ted and holly as well. it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but overwhelming since the majority she had to do herself. 

so the grocery shop was currently a lot more draining than usual, given the sheer amount of groceries was almost twice as much as usual. but it did give her time to herself, however short. 

abandoning the cart on the other side of the aisle, she moved over to grab a specific box of cereal at mike’s request of course. it was only when a loud crashing sound came from behind her, that the box fell from her hand and clattered to the ground as well. 

turning on her heel to locate the noise, she was met with a young man who had pushed his cart into hers. ah, that must have been it. “it’s no problem.” karen couldn’t help but notice that he seemed a little on edge. then came the brief recognition, which caused her to frown. “are you a friend of my son’s?” technically speaking he could also be a friend of nancy’s, she just couldn’t put her finger on it. 

Adam was thankful that he’d only crashed into the woman’s cart, at least. If he’d actually hurt her or knocked over a display or something, that would have been so embarrassing. He moved quickly around their carts to help grab the item she’d dropped, handing it back to her before returning. “Sorry, I need to pay more attention,” He apologized again, offering her a small, sheepish smile. 

At her question about her son, Adam frowned, trying to figure out who she was talking about. After a second, he realized she was Mrs. Wheeler, so she must have been talking about the nerdy kid who had a little friend group that he spent so much time with. Adam didn’t really know them, but he’d seen them a few times at the pool, he thought. “Oh, no,” He shook his head, smiling slightly. Adam did know that kid’s older sister, though. She’d been a year or two behind him in school, but she’d saved his science grade when he retook the class. “But Nancy used to be my lab partner! I think I came over once to study.” It wasn’t like they had been close or anything, and honestly ‘studying’ had been him staring at his textbook in confusion for two hours while Nancy made flash cards. Still, he remembered Mrs. Wheeler being nice when he’d come over, and he sort of remembered her coming to the pool a lot back when he’d been a lifeguard with Billy and Heather. “I’m Adam Richards, ma’am.” He told her with a small smile, holding a hand out for her to shake. 

I’m just- I’m tired of trying. I feel like nothing I do is enough.

KEVIN CAN F**K HIMSELF | 1.01 — “Living the Dream”

conrad fisher | tsitp 1.06

scribblcs​:

as adam tossed out gabe’s name like a question, he nodded, smiling encouragingly. it usually fell from people’s lips uncomfortably, like they were breaking some sort of rule by using his first name, but he was a therapist, not a teacher or a mayor. he didn’t see the purpose for formalities, he made that known by adding, “you can just call me gabe if that’s easier, too.” he already had a strong feeling that wouldn’t be the case. maybe he was jumping too many stones ahead, and gabe supposed he would figure out here shortly just who adam richards was, but at first glance, he already reminded gabe of his teenage self. he recalled the days when he did his best to be the perfect son, an upstanding citizen of his small town in illinois, to be kind, to put himself last, to follow rules and do the right thing. he’d come to shed some of it with age, but there were other traits that were immovable qualities of his personality, ones that he had learned to nurture and respect and understand. he was feeling very hopeful he could do the same for adam, but first, gabe had to take about five steps back and confirm his suspicions. like he hadn’t just gone on an entire contemplative hike mid-session, gabe nodded, “let me know if you change your mind at any time. the water isn’t going anywhere.” he assured, flashing another warm grin. 

when adam started talking about his day, gabe began furiously scratching words onto his notepad. by now, he’d mastered the art of taking notes and maintaining eye contact. so as he wrote with his pen, he simultaneously nodded at adam as he spoke. his thoughts came out onto the page, stiff. uncomfortable. family important to him? his scribbling stopped when adam asked him something. initially, he looked pleasantly surprised, but one could never be too cautious. on his paper he wrote, deflecting? then set his pen down and answered, “sure, if you want.” even if the sessions weren’t about gabe, he wanted to do what he could to ease adam this first go around, “it was pretty tame. i woke up, tended to my garden, did the crossword, ran errands, came here.” he intentionally matched adam’s tone, then flipped it back around on the other, “so if that was what you did today, is it fair to say that’s your everyday? or is your normal routine a little different?” he picked up his pen again. 

Being raised in a white, Catholic upper middle class family left Adam physically unable to call an adult by their first name, and at the suggestion, Adam couldn’t help but shoot Dr. Gabe a look of concern. He’d be keeping the title out of respect and he hoped Dr. Gabe understood that. “Oh, um, thank you. But is Dr. Gabe okay?” Adam asked hesitantly, stuffing his hands anxiously in his pockets. He was worried they’d start shaking if he didn’t get over these nerves soon. There wasn’t even a reason to be nervous - if this didn’t go well, Adam would just leave and make some excuse if he was asked about why he wouldn’t be coming back. He could get through one hour long session. After all, Adam had done a lot more difficult stuff than sitting on a couch and talking about himself for awhile. With that in mind, he squared his shoulders a bit, ready to at least try. 

Dr. Gabe’s writing was a bit distracting - Adam couldn’t help but wonder what about his day was that interesting. Spending time with his family was normal, right? Helping his mom with his siblings had always been something Adam had done, and no one had ever questioned it before. Maybe it had made him give up hanging out with Cole or Chrissy in the past, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t reschedule. He was the oldest, and his mother had always counted on him to be the responsible one. Adam hadn’t minded that duty before. “Gardening seems cool,” He nodded, glancing around the room at the plants again. Plants always seemed to brighten a room, in Adam’s opinion. He’d loved it growing up when his mother had had fresh flowers around, especially when his dad had bought them for her. Adam had done that for Cole a few times in high school too - not because he felt like he was supposed to, but because he’d liked picking out a bouquet that he knew Cole would like. 

“Oh, um,” Adam blinked as he was questioned again, not used to someone wanting to hear from him this much. “I guess it’s pretty normal?” Adam said, crossing his legs to keep his knee from bouncing with nerves. “Most days I hang out with my mom and sisters or with Cole.” He shrugged. “He’s my best friend,” The lie rolled off his tongue with ease now from years of pretending like they were just really close friends. It never felt better though, or made Adam happy. “I run or workout some too.” An old habit from his football days that Adam had never dropped. Honestly, he didn’t really want to, though - he liked the endorphins he got from it, and it felt good having a routine like that. It provided him structure, a reason to get out of bed now that he was back.