Just Finished Poppy Z. Brite's "exquisite Corpse" And It Absolutely Wrecked Me. Was Especially Really,

just finished poppy z. brite's "exquisite corpse" and it absolutely wrecked me. was especially really, eerily compelled by the abusive and tense relationship between luke and tran.

they are both such fascinating and honest characters. i've met them, i've known them, i've loved them, i've been them. so i had to sketch them out.

i really loved the book but it is incredibly graphic and is probably the most objectively vile thing i've ever read. it's a book about two gay serial killers, the runaway who gets caught up with them, and his abusive ex-bf-turned-abrassive-niche-radio-host.

but, it is also such an honest and compelling exploration of queer relationships, of desire, of mortality, and of the social impact of HIV/AIDs. also the prose is bone-chilling, beautiful, and gruesome while still feeling very down-to-earth and real.

Goku’s Love For Battle vs Saiyan Battle Instinct

I see a lot of people say it’s a Saiyan trait, and to a degree it is, but what I find the most interesting is how Goku’s love for it differs from the others of his species, as it’s actually a rather amusing and interesting spin on the true philosophy behind martial arts, in that the Saiyans abuse it to dominate, seize power and go after those weaker than themselves. Goku uses it as a tool of personal improvement and defense, a means to know himself better. The Saiyan love of battle really isn’t a love for Battle itself, but rather a chance to show off their power, to crush those beneath them and revel in their supremacy. They want to kill, crush, destroy those weaker than themselves to prove their dominance. They have no use for beings who can’t fight or are weak, hence why any Saiyan born as such is either relegated to lowly positions in life and/or forced to EARN the ability to come home by subjugating a weak race. It’s why Vegeta killed Nappa too; Goku snapped his back. Nappa was basically crippled. Vegeta no longer saw value in him, neither as a partner nor even as a being, a Saiyan. It’s also why Vegeta, upon hearing the weakling Raditz was killed, didn’t really care. Raditz was always the weakest, had the least value, and then proved as much when he was killed on a planet full of weaklings. Why waste time or tears on him, right? Now the thing about Goku is that he has a love for battle, but it’s for the exact opposite reasons. Goku wants to learn. He wants to become the ultimate warrior, to push himself to be the absolute best he can ever possibly be. Learn new techniques, new ways to train, new philosophies. He’s a learning sponge, soaking all this in, and he loves and lives to be able to test himself and what he’s learned, as well as see how much further he can go. He learns from every fight, even those where his life is on the line, and lacks the desire to crush his opponent, or simply cast them aside when done. He values each of them as a fighter and genuinely wants to see what they can do. The best contrast for this can probably be seen in Goku and Vegeta’s respective actions both in their fight with each other and their fights on Namek. On Namek, Goku keeps giving the Ginyu Force ample opportunity to walk away and leave. He knows he’s stronger than they are. He knows there’s no real value in fighting them right now. His son and friends are more important than this, and there’s no point in just needlessly crushing these guys right now. Vegeta, however, really only actively seeks them for battle when he realizes he can win when he faces one of them who’s weaker than himself. The same Ginyu he fled from facing before is the one he’s now dying to take a crack at once he realizes that Giyu can’t fight effectively in Goku’s body. Whereas he trembled at the thought of facing the Ginyu Force before, he revels in Jeice’s fear as he closes in on him, knowing he can’t lose. But an even greater contrast is in seeing them face opponents far stronger than themselves. When Vegeta sees Goku able to hurt him, someone who’s supposed to be so low-class as to have almost no worth actually drawing blood from him, it sends him into a psychotic rage. He cannot, will not, have his worldview and philosophy questioned. He will NOT allow even the IDEA that he’s not the greatest warrior who has ever lived. And later, when facing Freeza, when realizing that Freeza is so much stronger than he ever imagined after all, realizing that he’d been right to hide from him and avoid this battle, realizing even that even if he’d gotten his immortality, he’s still in no position to so much as even SCRATCH this monster… Vegeta freezes in fear and shock. He loses his drive and will to fight, eventually simply surrendering himself to the loss and allowing Freeza to mercilessly pummel him without so much as an attempt to fight back. Vegeta’s finally found himself on the other ends of that scale, and for a time simply accepts that fate he feels comes with it. Goku, however, in both cases… is excited by this. He loves it. He WANTS to face opponents stronger than himself, he LOVES seeing people who can so thoroughly outclass him, so much so that even under the very real threat of impending doom, that excitement wells up in him. This means that he can potentially reach this height one day, after all. This level of strength exists. It’s possible to get there, there’s a reason for him to keep pushing and not become complacent now! And while yes, he has to win no matter what, it does sadden him on some level to see this level of skill and strength have to be killed, wasted. Hence his wish Buu could one day return as a good guy so that they could have a rematch someday without the whole “risking the entire universe” deal. It’s a potential stepping stone to pushing himself to be even better, to know himself and his capabilities more thoroughly. It’s where his purity of heart stems from. I just find that to be a pretty interesting character dynamic.